BPD Psychosis & Co-Parenting With the Borderline

hi everyone thanks for joining me for today's question answer video I do this every single Monday so please ask questions down below and come back next Monday for the answer let me know what you think I'm answering questions from last video The Last Question Answer video from last Monday um all I ask is please tell us your locations ask me anything you want to guys it doesn't matter it doesn't have to be uh you know appropriate to the subject matter I'm asking if I I'll still try to answer it if I even miss your question it's not on purpose I didn't see it it happens sometimes they also get removed from YouTube especially if you leave like a link or something um so please ask questions tell us where you are you can be General in your locations and the other thing I ask is if you please if you haven't already please consider signing and sharing a petition I made over a year ago God I God I might be getting close to two years now um stop narcissistic online bullying it's huge On The Rise it's the number one C of young people taking their lives if you don't think it affects you please try to realize how bad and damaging it is to other people to Children okay stuff like this so if you could just hit the link and touch us you support it that's all you got to do it's Global everyone in the world all right um and it it won't you don't have to do anything else you don't have to donate money or share it or do anything if you could just supported I really appreciate that thank you very very much let's get into the questions first one is from Victoria from the Bay Area hi Victoria um I'm still don't understand really what you want from me on this question like I you want to know what I think of it let me read it Victoria from the Bay Area a lot of therapists are doing reaction videos on Jelly Roll somebody save me I would love to hear your opinion on this Sonia Lee also did a split oh I'd like to hear your opinion on this Sonia also did a split off a spit off of somebody saving me I would love to hear your opinion so I I don't I I typed in a song or I typed in Jelly Roll said save me I played it it was a fat guy gross ugly with tattoos and I didn't really care for the song I don't know what else to say I I typed in son Lee uh you know what I might have t typed it in wrong actually now I typed that in I might have typed in Soph Le and I came across channels I I couldn't find anyone singing the song as well this person I'm sorry Victoria if you want to send me a link I'll follow it watch it I I don't know what to say I didn't was I supposed to hear listen to the lyrics I'm not very good at that listening to lyrics and songs either I like the music and that's about it um but the song I didn't really care for I guess I don't I don't know what you want what what's the big deal about about it how about you tell me that why are so many people reacting to the song Somebody saved me I don't even know that can you help me out Victoria I'd love to give you my opinion is it just watch the song and what do I think about the lyrics I don't know help me out thanks uh KJ ns8 LK from Southern California hello KJ N Dash after 28 years of being on anti-depressants I am 100% off them and I have no depression that's great sorry for the 28 years I'm angry the doctors kept telling me I can never go off them 28 years of flat emotions huh welcome to the world um I said Oh no you're okay now enjoy your new and improve self and I hope life is beautiful for you yeah I'm glad glad you're not depressed anymore I don't know why a doctor would tell you you can never come off them guys always get a second opinion right if some if you took your car in for an oil change and they said oh my God your car is going to blow up here in a minute and you're like it's there's no problems with it what you talking about would you just pay them $5,000 or maybe go ask another mechanic right say hey this is kind of weird you said my car is going to blow up in the next few days and it's running just fine so I just I have to totally trust trust you and give you five grand how about just go somewhere else and ask then so let's get second opinion guys especially when it comes to this thing yeah Ron Drake don't know where you're from let us know tell us your locations please thank you married to diagnosed bipolar BPD female for 18 years two children one adopted one thank you for adopting final discard 2 months ago rumination is terrible can't sleep but I feel like that if I'm going to be alone now I'd rather do it anonymously alone where nobody knows me is this normal why do I feel this way shame I still have this want need to help her I feel sorry for her and I understand that I shouldn't Anonymous I see that as Freedom well screw the shouldn't do you want to feel sorry for her anymore how about that maybe not you know shouldn't is like your dad telling you that or something you know somebody else to who cares maybe you don't want to feel sorry for any for her anymore maybe you don't want to miss her anymore and that's okay we can accept that we feel some way and we can not want to anymore so what do we do we process it we work it out we talk okay we have to we're social animals we have to talk to each other that's what makes us feel better okay um I'm really sorry um the rumination that can't sleep there's you know lots of professional help out there for you you can ask questions here you can watch my videos I I talk about how to get better sleep I talk about what to do with rumination but really we need to talk this stuff out because we need to get our emotions out of here and close them and we need to get our thoughts out of here yeah and understand make sense of our of our experiences um why so why why do you want to isolate it it's actually a very typical reaction I don't say Norm noral cuz what is normal this stuff certainly isn't is it these people certainly aren't normal our experiences with them aren't normal so how could our reactions be normal typical of this experience definitely isolation we want to isolate you know a part of depression when we lose someone is the biggest times in our life we might if we're ever going to have any ex depression at all it's it's going to be when we l L somebody when the relationship ends when someone dies okay so here we have someone gone and we might have situational depression especially after how tumultuous the relationship is it makes it worse we have lots of self-doubt anxiety and depression is pulling myself away from society whether I'm rejected from society I'm not accepted from society you know either I get put in prison or something like that or or I or I don't want to be a part of society whatever it is but I'm away from people my brain brain will tell me people are sick or dangerous or just don't they all hate me I'm not I can't find any similarities there's no right and and so it's real common to isolate also our brain might think that's the only way to protect us that's depression people are bad scary watch out just just stay at home it's easier it's better you know it's my brain only cares about keeping me alive but I need emotional connection and and stuff like this with people but this takes over it says nope we're going to just stay alive okay turn the lights off lock your doors lock your windows or in mourning maybe okay very typical of these types of experiences all right take the time you need and then at some point we might need to push ourselves to get out there talk to people touch people hug them kiss them say I love you buy them gifts this will all help you but everything you're feeling there there's help for this and everybody's capable of healing from these experiences okay okay so don't give up don't and keep trying and and ask for some help right you're kind of doing it here right good luck on your journey happy me good this you I forgot where you're from I'm sorry uh hi David thanks for trying to answer my question all I want to know is what a person with BPD will go through during a psychotic break is it the same as a breakdown and how does it affect them long term and with future relationships and so we have all these little terms for this and that and you know it it's not definitive definitions and stuff psychosis is a big gray area we can slip in and out of that doesn't mean we're a psychotic person borderlines is the term is right on that line right and they they might slip in and out of psychosis one of the biggest times they might is during rage temper tantrums okay we our body might go offline of our nervous system our emotions might take over our logic and we fear usually it's a lot of fear and anger and we're trying to protect ourselves okay psychosis means I'm hallucinating seeing things that aren't there or hearing things that aren't real I might I might be uh I might I might you know also think things happen that never happened stuff like this but a psychotic breakdown maybe slipping in The psychosis I think can be very triggered by our past experiences of trauma um and and anger helps um dissociating something that might dissociate I know I'm being very gent here because there's not an exact definition okay and and you can say a an emotional breakdown a psychotic breakdown you could say a um a nervous breakdown where we just think that there's no you know absolutely hopeless helpless slip out of uh consciousness of awareness of our self our brain completely takes over might make fears and stuff bigger than they actually are okay um what they will go through is kind of escape from our body a lot of people won't remember it very common depending on the person the individual we all react different to trauma um I happen to be someone that remembers details during trauma it's kind of weird it's not common most people have worse memories when when when something really bad happens and like police come and talk to everybody I'm the one that knows all the details I'll know exactly how many gunshots I'll know exactly what they were wearing I'll know exactly what they did yeah where everybody most people are real General like I don't know I heard eight gunshots and there's like two he was wearing all red he's wearing black you know [ __ ] like that I just I remember every single detail um I hope I helped you a little bit by explaining that it's it's um it's not easy it's not easy psychosis being such a gray area people sleeping slipping in and out of it for different reasons yeah but people that experience trauma growing up where they can't protect themselves so hopeless so helpless so scared so angry things like this and when you see a borderline slip into rage and completely lose it they might be in psychosis yeah their actions and their threats might be very extreme might take a while to calm them down they may not remember okay thank you happy me uh Sarah don't know where you're from please tell us your locations please tell us where you are locations locations locations locations feel like I should type it all over the screen in the title on the thumbnail all over the screen say it every five seconds have just a have just a song constantly going going locations location hey I'm Sarah 20 years old I was recently diagnosed with BPD and I'm trying to learn more about it from your own videos I went through a lot while growing up and I'm still fighting to get out of this environment to be able to heal I recently learned about my splittings and my splitting Get Dangerous the moment I feel I'm in danger or stressed out but I'm managing through it slowly good I'm sorry Sarah please don't accept the diagnosis as a sentence it's not who you are okay we all have problems all of us you're not alone on that you have a specific problem people have specific problems and there's millions of people with borderline I would suggest get a second opinion okay there might be more diagnosis it might be something else just confirm it so you don't doubt or wonder unless you I mean maybe you really relate to that but um thanks for watching my videos uh just let you know the preferred treatment for this disorder is DBT therapy it's a form of talk therapy dialectical behavioral therapy and they've had really good uh uh success there's been a lot of people who have been able to put this disorder into remission you being 20 years old Sarah you have a huge Advantage your brain is still growing you're very valuable so everything you do right now will pay off any self-investment you make with yourself will pay off and you have an extremely good chance to put this behind you eventually it might take some time okay um and and I see being 20 years old and we might have we might not have the healthiest family it seems like maybe you're in that environment still we need to get out of it I help my my clients heal from cptsd it's due to stress and I cannot help my clients heal from stress until they're away from stress first things I do is I start evaluating their relationships their job everything where's stress where how much stress is all this and we try to get that down before we can move on and heal from it can't heal from the fire while you're in the Flames that's what I say your parents might have really done the most that helped you get this disorder and if you stick around them while trying and heal from it it may not happen Okay Sarah I strongly suggest to get it get some type of income hopefully that provides insurance so you can pay for this on your own and seek treatment on your own okay if people aren't going to help you they're just going to hurt you okay um but this isn't who you are Sarah it's just a problem all right and we've got to try to fix our problems to become the best versions of ourselves but you have such a good chance especially at your age you seem sweet you seem that you are insightful looks like you can look at yourself all really good things okay don't give up lower the stress in your life find the help you need it's there it's out there okay thank you good luck Sarah uh healing family from California hello healing family thank you for your advice on my fears I will for sure start looking into talking to a family lawyer to know my rights and what he can do and what he can't do it's weird well everything he does is weird all I asked my ex- fiance regarding the kids is to meet me somewhere the first couple of times they see him I told them I wanted to be present those first couple of times to make sure the kids's emotional being is stable I want to be there to make sure they feel okay and safe since they think their father is dead and are just confused don't you think this is like Common Sense their father Yes their father is refusing and doesn't want me to be there he just wants to pick them up after being out of their lives and a total stranger to them for the almost past year I feel like he is running away from being in front of me after what he did to us I'm thinking full of shame or memories will come back what do you think sounds like it I mean I I don't know right I I'm sorry I I don't I don't know you or him you know maybe when you see him you don't stop talking about your relationship with him right you keep saying do you love me do you love me do you love me I don't know you're right I can see I'm not wanting to do that regardless he should be communicating with you he can say I'm sorry it's going to hurt me to see you right now you know but obviously he can't communicate look I don't know him all right I don't know you I don't know your children and I'm definitely never going to tell people what to do and definitely not going to tell a mother how to raise her kids or anything I'm just saying if you don't want him in your children's lives then start making choices accordingly if he is so unstable and so toxic that he's dangerous to your children don't volunteer to see them for him to see them right it's a tough choice to make for your children but they need you to keep them safe and secure that's mom's role if you have one role in their lives keep them safe make them feel secure do that if he is a danger I not saying he is I don't know and I'm not suggesting to do anything I'm saying keep your children away from him if he's dangerous okay don't volunteer don't say oh I want to be around when you see him if you need to be around him when he sees your kids doesn't sound very safe yeah your your children aren't going to benefit from seeing him once every couple few years if and he's toxic and he doesn't connect with them and doesn't talk to them it it won't be good for them they don't need that they need a father in their life to meet their emotional needs to be involved in their lives and show them direction if he can't do that it seems like you're just letting them see you're letting him see them for him screw him he's been gone he's been absent he has not been a father he has not helped them he's not been there for them at all now he wants to be once say no don't make it easy for him right if you want him involved in your children's lives then try really hard to do that on a regular basis and he needs to meet their needs and he can't be on drugs and he can't abuse them and be around people you don't know for stuff like this right throw put your foot down Mom decide what you want to do and follow through with that if you want him to be a part of their lives I would do it through the courts some kind of mediation that's documented use a parental app that you only talk about the kids stuff like this and come up with a schedule where he can pick them up and see them and you're going to have to throw your arms up you can't always be there right you need to make a choice Mom I don't know how old the kids are now but we can't wait to make that choice let's make a choice and make it now decide what we're going to do is he going to be a part of the children's lives and ask him and say if that's what you want then it needs to be a regular basis yeah you need to have a stable home I need to know who they're going to see at least who they're going to be around and if he's not going to cooperate screw them and if you want them out of your children's lives shame him remind him constantly how how bad he has failed at being a father and they'll usually stay away not telling you what to do except make a choice let's let's decide what we're going to do okay you want him to be in in their lives give him the opportunity and if he fails then accept that we can't make him be a good father we can't make him care for your kids we can't make him be stable right okay do you want him in your children's lives if you do then try work with him okay okay good luck not an easy situation to be in not an easy decision to make I'm sorry I wouldn't want to make that decision but I think it needs to be made and you're the one that that can make that and and we stand by all of us stand by whatever you decide okay good luck Catal cubec Canada Quebec I already asked a question about the recent MRI results and some cognitive tests I did they discovered that my brain didn't function properly and the amydala didn't formed work as it's supposed to I'm from Al Al France sorry I ruined that but I am currently living in Quebec Canada for my work to be precise I don't know what that word is you spelled I don't think that's English l v u j i v i k lvic the doctors absolutely refus to give me any diagnostic any diagnosis I don't feel a high range of emotions that would be normal or angry I care about my immediate family my kids elderly parents but others I'm afraid I don't care much I'm just curious about what what you would think about this your videos are informative and I appreciate your humor I just want to inform my family if it's something that is hereditary and I don't want to hurt them without knowing it I um I read your question last time and I recommended that you see another doctor that's all I can say I really I really can't I'm not qualif ified to talk about that I'm not going to this is between you and your doctor it it sounds like definitely get an another doctor to tell you what's going on okay find out if this is something that happened during when you're forming in the womb is this something that happened that formed during your childhood or is this genetic right how would I no the only advice I have is get second opinion I don't know what else to say it sounds like you have a part of your brain that's not functioning properly that's it if there's a diagn maybe there is not a diagnosis for this particular disorder maybe it's a particular problem if it causes negative effects in your life it would be considered a disorder um maybe there's no diagnosis for this yet right right maybe they don't know all I can tell you is it's not functioning properly maybe there's things you can do for better brain functioning I would look into hormones all right um tell your family about it anyway tell them what you know not to create alarm or raise any kind of fear or alarm for them if if you need to tell them or want to I don't know what to tell you um you just want to inform your family of something trying to look at the exact [Music] question [Music] um I'm just curious about what you would think about this I I don't have anything to think about I don't have any I'm not thinking anything about it because I don't I don't know your amydala is not working properly so you don't have a wide range of emotion I don't would know why or how unless this is developmental or genetic do you have anyone else in your family like this look up your family history look up see if they've broken any laws committed any crime might be psychopathy I don't know I'm sorry I'm only going through this so much because you're asking me again and I already said I don't know get a second opinion I don't maybe you didn't see that that I when I read your question last time I'm I'm really not hiding anything from you I really don't know what to tell you unless I was a neurosurgeon and looked at your charts and your you know your X-rays and I knew what they meant I don't and an X would be interesting see if you don't have much activity in your prefrontal cortex is what I would imagine that could be interesting look up uh Dr James Falcone f a l c o n maybe that hope I'm sorry ask me anything else you want good luck uh Janet please watch has my ex blocked me he is seeing someone else thank you for your videos thank you for watching them Janet how I don't know I don't know him I didn't he didn't tell me sounds like uh I would guess he doesn't want you to intervene if he treated you really badly and abused you I bet he doesn't want the new one to know right if all he cares about is people as a source of something that he can gain from them by exploiting people then he's done exploiting you right now and he's exploiting someone else and when he wants to exploit you again he'll contact you again if he's toxic he probably will if he's toxic this relationship won't work out like none of them will like yours didn't and the toxic people are very not self-reliant and rely on others and depend on others and lean on others and use others and exploit others so they'll probably be back I would talk to someone and take this opportunity this time that you have always with someone else to heal so you can better protect yourself so you're not so vulnerable okay sorry I don't know him or what his brain's doing or what he's thinking ask me more if you think I can help you by giving me more information that might help okay good luck protect yourself Rory from Ohio hello Rory I hope you're having a wonderful Sunday I did thank you very much I hope everybody had a beautiful Sunday great weekend lots of Cra Crazy things happening in this country uh and other countries abroad I know I am here in sunny Ohio good do you think their addictions are used as a triangulation against us to further torment control and manipulate us another way they can hurt us both emotionally and physically excellent question really good question really good so are they used similar to this triangulation totally I'll tell you why to further torment control manipulus now I'm I I wouldn't say that they have addictions just to do that to us I think they have addictions and it and they do that to us does that make sense right they're they're not developing a cocaine habit just to torment you right but they have a cocaine habit and they torment you how about that anybody anybody who has lived with or had a very close person in their life with a major addiction problem knows that this is true that they do this the reason is is addictions will always be number one yeah I don't care what addicts say I don't the the more we are having an addiction the more we're on chemicals substances the further we become away from our true self right anybody's Drank in their 20s I guarantee you did something stupid that doesn't best say who you are I made a mistake I was drunk right so anybody that's s there and tells me about themselves their self true self and their High I don't really give a [ __ ] what you say you get high every day and you're going to tell me about your addiction I'm not going to listen to a word nope you do drugs and tell me who you are means nothing to me right just like a drun and they're going I'm so this I'm so that oh okay whatever a addictions will always be number one always and they may not show that they may not have to they they may never be tested okay but when a person tries to intervene in an addiction you are a threat to that addiction my addiction is number one I need this people don't become addicts because it feels good people become addicts because it stops feeling bad do you understand that because addictions drugs alcohol stop feeling good eventually they don't feel good anymore you drink every day you hung over every day that alcohol doesn't feel good anymore no okay so why do they keep doing it they're dependent they literally become chemically dependent and they have troubles functioning without it and it creates a huge amount of fear take that away from me you're a threat oh I should quit oh really bye I've seen I've seen a mother sell her children for drugs not proud that I've seen that I've seen it I've seen children taken away from the state CU mom can't stop drinking or drugs you chose that and you chose that every day for a long time until they finally took your children away because I know CSD in this country and it sucks it's awful it's a horrible failure miserable program doesn't work and for for them to take your children away it was bad real bad addictions are number one and anything that interferes with that is a threat especially you you want to sit there and try to talk about my addiction with me you're already threatening me I'm going to lie I'm going to protect it it's not that bad go away I'll I'll tell you whatever you need to hear I'll promise whatever and it becomes like another person in the relationship it's not just you and me babe it's you and me and cocaine alcohol all right and and I can triangle it because this will always be more important than you just like a new girlfriend or a new boyfriend a new love interests it's exciting you this isn't exciting anymore this is boring it's toxic well yeah I know it's toxic you're abusing me well well it's toxic it's not fun to abuse you anymore so I'm going to go abuse someone else they don't really but yeah that's why addictions you will lose all your relationships you will lose your job you will lose your health you'll lose your house your car your clothes and you'll lose and lose and lose and lose until you punch through the bottom and finally see it holy [ __ ] so yeah anybody out there speak let us know right you had an alcoholic father what was that like yeah were you ever more important than the alcohol no no because a father that decides to drink while raising a child yeah values the alcohol more period because if you don't then stop yeah okay and I know there's a lot of people out there have dealt with addictions either personally you know you had personal addictions of your own or people that you loveed cared about people that raised you had addictions your husband right now your wife your ex addictions it's prominent in this stuff the most so it has to be I'm amazed anybody who's dealt with trauma and abuse don't have addictions I'm amazed they never picked any of those up great but if you want to let someone in your life addiction just be comfortable being at least number two okay and yeah they will totally triangulate you because once they show you how important that addiction is then you know that you're second right and they'll use that you'll get jealous because you might lose someone to that addiction one way or another good question wor thank you let me know if I answered it thanks Rose from the United Kingdom hi Rose hi do you think it's possible to feel so sad and miss something so much you can feel the hurt but no longer cry just feel the hurt yeah Rose usually that's called depression remember loss is our worst experience and when we lose something especially someone we love it's just us left and we introspect the most or the most critical and hardest on yourself you should have never done that if I only done this God you're not good enough anybody else can ever love you again that's called situational depression okay Rose I'm not telling you I that you are I can't I'm not don't know just saying it sounds like it and I'm really sorry Rose no matter what make yourself feel better try reach out to people ask for help okay Rose thank you good luck I'm sorry and that's it that's the end of the questions thank you everybody if you think this video is beneficial to you or someone else would you please consider a thumbs up subscribe share it hit the notification Bell let you know when other of my things are posted all week long I post memes and videos almost every day um and keep asking me questions let me know what you think of my answers okay sorry if I missed them ask me again please love yourself first guys have a beautiful week bye-bye