How The Borderline Narcissist Took Agency Over You!

hi everyone today's video is about how the borderline narcissis took agency over you took it away and not all do this let me be clear not everyone with borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder may do these things it's just quite common it's what I hear every day I may be directing this more towards someone with these disorders that are higher Spectrum lower functioning maybe not you how do they do it well they're power hungry control freaks aren't they seek power and control over you over your life why well anybody that does this has had their power taken away from them they don't feel like they have control over their own lives that's why you take someone who's been a s assaulted in childhood and they tend to do it to another one another child when they're older it's like 70 something per. they had their power taken away from them and they take it away from another child you changed who you are didn't you you can say they changed who you are we allowed someone to change who we are you were strong now weak happy now sad angry you valued respect towards people maybe you were disrespect respectful even towards them you valued honesty maybe you've been dishonest we lose a sense of who we are we never let people wrong us before now someone walks all over us exploiting us how did this happen maybe we lowered our standards or didn't have any poor boundaries things like this childhood we compromised our values by not having standards we invested everything they invested nothing financially maybe we paid for things paid for more paid for every date they have the victim narrative which means no reciprocation which means no accountability no responsibility and they baited you to control you for those of you who do don't know what baiting is we can't necessarily take someone's hand and control it make them do what we want and pick something up and hit themselves with it but we can control them emotionally by baiting techniques accuse you of things and make you defend yourself triangulate you and make you scared of losing me and insecure Guilt Trip make you feel guilty pity me make you pity me feel sorry for me once you've accepted that I'm not responsible in this relationship you're screwed I'm not accountable for what I do I don't have to reciprocate I don't have to meet your needs I don't have to pay I don't have to go get a car better myself get a job help out I don't have to can't they start isolating you losing your friends losing goals interests aspirations dreams triangulating you gaslighting you we lose a sense of who we are our self-worth is lowered by neglect our self-respect is lowered by abuse staying in a abusive relationship self-esteem is lowered because they compare us to others by triangulating us I literally hear of toxic narcissist borderlines literally saying marry me or I'll marry someone else I've got three people that want to marry me I'll marry them let's talk about possessions what's mine is mine and what's yours is ours you guys know that one huh yeah right I don't have as much capability to make money or I don't have a job you make more money than me so so I get to keep my stuff and your stuff is ours I don't have a car but you have a car which is our car I don't have a driver's license but you do so you drive us you drive me everywhere I need to go and then pick me up later and I don't have money so I don't pay for gas I don't pay for insurance too bad if your car breaks down I don't have to worry about that makes it easier for me to leave you cheat on you no investment easy to walk away exploiting you they'll exploit You by finding what works by your reaction oh she doesn't like this keep doing that oh that makes him upset keep doing it Ag and she having self- agency over ourselves and our lives is about power and control over ourselves right but we knowingly or unknowingly consciously or unconsciously gave that up we gave it up we gave it away it's like the Frog and boiling water it's not like they just started doing this right out the gate and threw the Frog right in the pot of boiling water so the Frog jumps right out right they do it slowly slowly little bits at a time we have to take our power back somehow find a way to do that whatever that way is not something unhealthy or compromises your values again but take your power back and have some control over your own life take your agency back stick to your moral values those are your standards you have to have your needs met if not ended work toward what you want keep that in front of you don't forget make your self feel good don't rely on them do you see that we start believing that this relationship or them themselves is going to make us feel better give us what we need finally we just need to stick it out tough it out do better make them happy yeah stick to our own beliefs I'm going to tell you right now coup's counseling not only doesn't work doesn't I hope I was clear not only doesn't it not work it'll make it worse it'll make it worse they ain't going to stick to a couple's counseling they wouldn't go to therapy or help for themselves they're definitely aren't going to go for you and if they do they're just going to lie and manipulate you might have a counselor or therapist that doesn't understand this stuff starts trying to hold you accountable for what they do couples counseling isn't going to work what you need to do is step outside of this relationship you need to tell someone you need to ask for help and find a way to take your power back and have control over your own life again so that you have agency over your own self again if that means leave them we have to leave them if it's hard we ask for help but when someone takes agency over us and has control and power over us we keep seeking them for the things that we need and want and to feel better that's up to us up to us guys okay and anything we have troubles doing we ask for help what examples do you guys have of toxic borderline narcissists taking agency over victims targets people in their lives what examples can you guys share I'd appreciate it anybody watching this video go down below and read the comments add your own please appreciate it you can find me at David dear.com if you want coaching appreciate a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel but uh make sure you love yourself first because that's one way this happened we stopped thanks guys