REAL Reason Narcissist / Borderline Males Discard You

Hi everybody. Thanks for joining me for today's video. My name is David. This video is going to tell you, I'm going to tell you the real reason why very narcissistic, narcissist, borderline men discard women. Not all. Not all borderlines. Not all men. Not all narcissists. Not all narcissistic, borderline men. This is absolutely typical. And there's a couple, two different kinds, two different ways, two things that are going on. So, you know, we're talking about the, the, you know, the man who typically, the borderline narcissist man who cycles through tons of women. Relationship addict, sex addict. And then you have the other, it's the narcissist borderline that will fantasize about relationships. I'll get to that. So the unfortunate thing here with men like this, people like this, they do not need, want, value emotional connection. They've never done it. If you have emotional connection with someone in your childhood, then you need it in adulthood. Someone who does not, will not emotionally connect with you, it's because they never have with anyone. All right. That's crucially important here to understand that how important your needs are. And if you're not a toxic narcissist, borderline, like most of us, you probably need emotional connection with people. It's not attachment. It's not bonding. It's not codependency. It's not sex. It's knowing exactly who the other person is and what feels good and what feels bad until you're seriously on the same wavelength, not hiding anything from each other, full disclosure, total vulnerability, knowing what feels good and bad and only does what feels good. Things like this, emotional connection, something a narcissist and borderline never will do. No emotional connection in a relationship. If somebody doesn't do that, they place value on physical rather than emotional, what you are rather than who you are, what you do for them, rather than how you feel or what you want or what you need or what you value. Whether it raises their status, makes them feel better, you look good, sex, money, whatever it is. Nobody's perfect. Narcissists will accept that in the beginning because there is always something that will attract them physically to you. There's something where they just want sex, but obviously there's something about you they find that's attractive enough. But male narcissists, borderlines, will avoid this emotional connection. They've never done it before. They may have self-hatred, shame, too much pride, things like this. And physical attraction fades like everything else that's physical. It may no longer raise the status or feel good or no longer attracted to you. They don't care who you are. You'll have one type that cycles women never intending to attach. They'll get what they want. It's fun. They have a notch on their belt. They feel the attachment. They feel the intimacy. It gets too much, too close, emotional buoyancy, and they're done. Right on to the next one. The second one has fantasies of grandeur, a narcissistic diagnostic trait. And they will fantasize about many different things, whether it's success, looks, etc. But one of them is relationships and love. You'll have a male borderline narcissist that ideals marriage or this relationship they want to have with you, that they want in their life. But both start with physical attraction. One, like I said, will leave before attachment. Okay, but the other one goes deep in, wants the relationship, we're going to get married and have children, this is so great, and then can't function. It's too stressful. And all they have is that physical attraction. People, healthy people, neurotypical. As you are attracted to who someone is, they become more physically attractive. You might date someone that there's something attractive about them, definitely not the most beautiful person you've ever seen. But if you take the time to get to know them over time, if you are attracted to who they are, they just start becoming more physically attractive. And narcissists don't, borderlines, don't care who you are. Someone who doesn't know who they are never cares who you are. So you can see if they know who you are or care who you are by knowing if they know who they are. And since it's that physical attraction and we're not perfect, that physical attraction fades and the imperfections rise and they get too emotionally close and they don't like it. Narcissists reject their true self, who they are. Since childhood, too much shame. Parents didn't put any emphasis on that. All on their ego, what they do, what they are. They build a fake or false identity based in their ego. The closer they get to you emotionally, the more uncomfortable they will be because that's who they are. They don't want you to see it with the mask and they don't want you to feel it. They don't want to go there. They don't want to touch that. They don't want to feel that. Their feelings, their needs, their wants, and stuff like this. And the feelings definitely, they don't want to go there. They aren't going to tell you. They aren't going to be very in tune with their feelings, but it's not going to feel good the closer you get to them, to this. If someone hates themselves as you get closer to them in their world, they will hate you too. I think, but what's the most important though, is they cannot function. You get too close. They don't like it. Feels gross. They bail, throw you away. Biggest advice I can give for you women and men too, is don't sleep with them. Find out who they are. Yeah, who? Not what they told you. Make sure your values match, but go slow. I know I say this all the time, but God, it's it. You always have time on your side. Going slow weeds out toxic people. They don't feel like waiting for something immediate gratification that they want. Men and women are built differently. They have different hormones and they're released for different things. A woman's oxytocin will build up and be greater after sex, after orgasm. The men's will build up and disappear after orgasm. A man that sleeps with a woman soon, doesn't know who they are, doesn't love them, not attached to them, all these things like this, they don't come back. I know a lot of women out there that literally meet men online, invite them over first night, have sex with them thinking that this will get them to stay. It's the best way to get rid of a man. They can't respect you. They don't like you anymore. They don't want you anymore. You're not attractive to them anymore. They did what they wanted to do. Not saying they won't come back and maybe do it again, but typically not. And they will never respect you for that, even though they're doing it too. Sex before attachment and love means they won't come back. They won't respect you. Toxic men won't wait for immediate gratification. I know a lot of women have been caught in these cycles and I know a lot of women having sex with these men, not because they're horny. They think they need to. They think they're not enough and it must cause a ton of shame and guilt and makes us feel empty inside and lose a sense of who we are. So stop doing it. How we meet people, how we interact with them really decides where it goes. I'm telling you, predators and manipulators and people who exploit others, narcissists, borderlines, they want short-lived relationships. They want immediate gratification. They don't want and need the things that you do. They won't wait. They won't wait. You find out who they are more, get emotionally close to them, see how they react to that before sex. Just my advice. Let me know what you guys think of this video and my advice. And maybe if you have some experiences of your own that you can add down below, that would be wonderful. Kind of tell us what happened. Maybe something that you learned that you stopped. Let me know. Let us know, please. Always ask questions and if you could, thumbs up, subscribe to the channel. Okay, anybody that wants coaching, you can find me at DavidDomaris.com. Thank you guys. Love yourself first. Bye-bye.