Irrational Empathy For The Borderline / Narcissist

Hi everyone, thanks for joining me for this video. I'm going to cover Stockholm Syndrome, something that a lot of you are aware of and know what it is, specifically with the borderline. I think it's interesting. I think it sheds light on something else, really. I looked it up, got twosoud.com, just to read a definition. It's a psychological response in which captives develop positive feelings toward their captors or abusers over time. The name Stockholm came from the city Stockholm, Sweden. There was a bank robbery there in 1973. That's what this is named after. The bank robbers took over a bank for some time, days. I don't remember how long. I didn't see it when I looked it up, but for days, not just minutes, hours. They formed a bond, the captives and the bank robbers. It was to the point where the captives were claiming that the bank robbers were great people and they weren't harmed at all. They even became friends and visited them in prison afterwards. Bizarre, right? Sound familiar? It's not in the DSM. It's not an illness, disease, disorder, anything like that. There's no actual symptoms proven that support this in any way. It's developing positive feelings for the aggressor. It's developing negative feelings for police or anyone that might be threatening to the relationship or the aggressor. A friendly or a bond with the aggressor and believes they have same values and goals. Interesting. So, you have captives that are scared and traumatized. Trauma means you can't stop it, you can't leave it. They couldn't stop it, they couldn't leave it, but the aggressors were friendly. They treated them well, totally. It was in Sweden, after all. Even the bank robbers were nice. And over this time, they created a bond. There's cognitive dissonance. Lying to themselves, these guys are actually nice. We all have money problems. It leads to a distorted perception of the aggressor and the event. And you see this in toxic relationships of all kinds. Whether they're the person they're with, someone you know is in a toxic relationship with someone who's an abuser or an addict, being neglected. They make up for it. They excuse it. They feel sorry for them. They're empathetic. They blame themselves, minimize it. Same that people do with their own addictions. They're doing it with the addictive relationship they're in. In toxic relationships, we all idealize. We have this perception of who this person is, and it's hard to get away from that. We believe our first opinions, the first things we hear about people and the first opinions we form about people are very difficult. Very difficult to change that. We attach. We're traumatized. We can't stop them cheating. We can't leave them. We get stuck with each other and meshed. They lie. They abuse. They triangulate. They manipulate. We're not quite sure. We may not catch them. We create a bond over time. And we have this distorted perception of the person. No matter what they do, we excuse it. We minimize it. We're empathetic and sympathetic to them. What their capacity is, their capabilities, their stress levels, their past, their abuse, their being molested. And we form a bond, a trauma bond. A trauma bond is forming a bond over emotional attachment and is abusive. Our own irrational compassion and empathy and sympathy. I love them. Think about that. Somebody who hurts you on purpose and abuses you and exploits you and uses you, is not loyal to you, lies, manipulates you, tricks you, fools you, cons you, talks bad about you. I could go on. Don't need to. We all will. It's my fault. What if? This makes them, this makes leaving them very difficult. Causes guilt and shame and self-doubt. Why? It's our trauma reaction. I think there's a predisposure to trauma and neglect. Trauma, we can't stop it and we can't leave. Right? I'm in a house fire and almost burnt down. I felt like I couldn't get out. Someone saved me finally. And our reaction to stress and scary things and trauma is fight or flight. But that's if we can stop it, end it or get away from it. That's fight or flight. If we don't do that and we fawn or freeze, we stay. I believe that's a predisposure to this in childhood. I also believe there's approval seeking behaviors in this. We seek the approval of even our abuser. You don't like me? Please like me. I'll be better. I'll please you. Make you happy. Do everything you want. And too fast. Too fast. Over time in the bank robbery, but what's creating a friendship and bond and attachment in a couple few days? I mean, that's, geez, that's really fast, isn't it? When you think about it that way. There's also anxious, unsure attachment styles that makes us more vulnerable to this. Let me know what you guys think of this, the Stockholm Syndrome. Isn't it just trauma bonding? Dependency? Yeah? And give your own examples, please. Ask me questions, please. Appreciate thumbs up. Subscribe to the channel. But love yourself first, always. Thanks, guys. Bye.