YOUR NARC PARENTS WILL DESTROY YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM #npd #narcissist #narcissisticabuse

Y'all, Spiritual Whistleblower here with another video on narcissistic abuse. One thing that I'm noticing in my phone calls with my clients is they tend to apologize to me when they shouldn't apologize. I have to correct them when they're telling their stories. I'll give you an example. This one young lady that I was talking to, I was coaching, when referring to her narcissistic partner, her lover, she kept saying, Oh my God, I was just so stupid. He was doing all these things. I didn't realize he was doing all these things. I'm just so stupid. And I had to stop her and correct her. I said, no, you were not stupid. You were, you were tricked by a demon. You're not stupid. You know, you're a good person and you were doing what you genuinely thought was right okay and because you could not see you know he's an actor narcissists are great actors they're great liars how are you supposed to know if he's putting on this performance and acting like a good person when he's really a demon how does that make you stupid so the next thing she did she says you know what you're right i'm so sorry i'm so sorry then i had to correct her for that i said stop apologizing to me why are you saying sorry you've done nothing wrong and she said I know I'm sorry again so this is this is a behavioral pattern that I notice uh with a lot of survivors of narcissistic abuse is the constant explaining over explaining yourself apologizing for things that you shouldn't be apologizing for just out of habit and I want to explain to you all where that comes from that's a childhood um that's a problem that was created in childhood by your abusive mother and father the over explaining um feeling guilty when you should not be feeling guilty apologizing when you should not be apologizing that's because mom and dad have made you the scapegoat okay it's something that i used to do and i had to break out of that it was it was like you know when you're a people pleaser you'll find yourself tolerating ---- you shouldn't be tolerating you'll find yourself apologizing for ---- you shouldn't be apologizing for like when I look back at my people pleaser days I am disgusted with myself I'm like I can't believe you put up with all that I put up with a lot of ---- y'all family lover fake toxic friends I put up with a lot of bullshit just to keep the peace I allowed people to talk to me any kind of way I allow people to treat me any kind of way I apologize for ---- that I wasn't wrong for just for the sake of keeping the peace keeping the toxic friendship together when I should have let it go the people pleasing days are over because you know we are so broken when we are serving and putting people before God took me a long time to figure that out baby you ain't supposed to be serving and breaking your back or breaking your neck for nobody but him you're gonna go hard for somebody if you're gonna be people pleasing and and doing cartwheels and all types of tricks and flipping and carrying on you do it for him he that he's that's it but to put all that energy into people no and and you know those of you that are former people pleasers like myself you know i'm just trying to help you understand where that behavior comes from if you don't know mom and dad programmed you to ******* be a doormat mom and dad your grandparents whoever ******* raised you the caregiver that that raised you and instilled in you all these toxic traits a lot of y'all think y'all are narcissists I get that a lot during my client phone calls they say am I the narcissist I said no honey if if you were a narcissist I wouldn't be on this call I don't talk to narcissists or if I if I detect that you are narcissistic, I'll end the call. I'll never, I've had calls where I would end the call and refund the money. I don't even want your money because this call is not going to work. this call, you're not going to sit here and manipulate me and play games with me. I clock that behavior immediately. So when people come to me and say, I think I'm the narcissist. Am I the narcissist? And I have to tell them, sweetie, no, you're not. But when you've been raised up around narcissists, you will pick up the behaviors. You will in fact, pick up the toxic traits. You from birth, you were programmed. You have the toxicity in you. let's be real, all of us including myself, you will grow up with them toxic traits that were instilled in, you by mom and dad, it's not until you move out of their house, let's say you go to college like me I went to college and I got around all different types of people from all different walks of life different cities and states and I was around people that were not my family, remember you grew up in that toxic narcissistic family structure, you only know one way of things it's, it's the way mom and dad and your grandparents have taught you to see things but there's a whole another world out there, go to college or move out, the out your parents house and get around some other people and you'll see they will hold a mirror up. What, what happened when I went to college I was getting checked left and right, all my, you know, from my roommate to my new friends that I made and all that, people were checking me like, why are you doing that and why are you saying this and things that I had never experienced or never seen you know other people's mannerisms and different things, people were checking me and I had to come to realize a, mom and dad taught me the wrong way, b mom and dad taught me a lot of toxic ---- because I got people here in college checking me on my toxic ---- and holding up a mirror to my bad behaviors um whoo child when you get around other people that are not your biological relatives your biological family they're going to teach you a whole lot about life and a lot of that is because mom and dad have sheltered you you gotta understand when you grow up underneath a narcissistic mother or father your parents their job is to keep you codependent keep you in this childlike position where they're constantly the dominant one talking down to you so ladies i don't know about you and i'm about to get real transparent. My mother did not teach me a hundred percent how to be hygienic. I didn't always have the best hygiene when it came to, you know, when I, my period came on, you know, my body odors, you know, taking showers on time. I felt like, you know, my mother deliberately withheld information or didn't teach me. She taught me a little, but not enough. And that's because they needed a reason to bully me if I didn't smell good or I needed to shower or I half-ass did things half-ass brushed my teeth it gave my mother the incentive to beat the **** out of me but if my hygiene is not great as a teenager why beat me why not show me the right way without ******* bullying me and belittling me and if I'm half-ass doing it where did I learn it from see this is the delusion of a narcissistic parent so you you got to understand your parents will cripple you so that you stay dependent on them they want you financially dependent they want you you know they don't want you to have a life outside of them uh they don't want you to have independence outside of them they will actually cripple you and if it gets real bad like my mother they'll kick you out in the streets when knowing you have nothing you have no money or nothing they want you to suffer in the street so that you'll crawl and beg for them to take you back and if you do that and they take you back they will bully and increase the abuse tenfold when my mother kicked me out at 17 years old I went to a women's shelter and I stayed she thought I would come crying and running back I didn't I stayed in the shelter they helped me get on my feet they helped me get my first apartment a car and a government job I never went back she was pissed because the plan was to cripple me and have me beg for her to take me back in i didn't do that so your narcissistic parents they want to cripple you and and there's all this toxic programming and grooming um you're constantly under a microscope apologizing to mom and dad for ---- you didn't do you're constantly getting beat and bullied for breathing for ******* existing i mean getting beat for ridiculous ----. And you know, like I told y'all, you know, recently I was diagnosed with Asperger's. I am autistic. That ---- blew my ******* mind because like looking back in childhood, yeah, I was a little bit slow. Yeah. My grades were not good. Yeah. My hygiene wasn't the best. I, I have all these things. I'm slow because I have a developmental disability and I got beat up I got beat bullied bloodied molested fucked through ran through dog walk everything you could think of mom especially so it's it's it's like I just remember apologizing all the time it was like walking on ******* eggshells to please my mother to prevent her from going the **** off I don't know if she's bipolar I don't know if it's borderline personality she's definitely a narcissist I feel I believe she's a sociopath but she may also have an underlying mental uh illness she may be bipolar because I've never seen a woman her eyes would bulge out of her head she would yell and scream all the ******* time we all walked on eggshells my nerves this is why I believe I have lipoedema in my legs my body stores cortisol you know there's trauma in my legs and I have lipoedema she would bully me about my thighs you fat bitch look how big your thighs are this is as a teenager so you know she conditioned me to keep apologizing mommy I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you I didn't mean to do that mommy I'm sorry and you know the gaslighting is where we we you know if you find yourself as an adult constantly explaining yourself over explaining yourself and and that's because number one somebody's gaslighting you and maybe your boss your supervisor gaslighting you at the job you don't realize that your boss is a narcissist and they're mentally ******* with you so you're over explaining yourself to your boss it could be a toxic friend you don't realize that this friend of yours is a covert narcissist he or she may be gaslighting you and ******* with you and there you go over explaining yourself and then when the friendship falls apart and you start thinking back you're like damn now I see all the red flags that I ignored in that friendship I was explaining myself too much you know my friend was never going to take me serious they just wanted to see me ******* explain myself and watch me go crazy trying to explain myself that's what narcs do they gaslight and provoke to get you to over explain yourself and they don't they're not looking for a resolution they're not looking for conflict resolution they're not looking to resolve anything they just want to see you react negatively to their provoking you provocation the over explaining has got to stop y'all i want y'all in 2025 to really fix that about yourselves work on that if you feel like you got to ******* explain yourself over explain yourself then it means somebody is ******* with you deliberately and it means to get the **** away from that person yeah you're in the presence of a narcissist because they're the ones they get narc supply if they're able to provoke you into reacting any type away or getting you to over explain yourself even i i'm at a point now i don't explain ---- if i believe something about somebody if i said something i'm only saying it one time i'm not finna sit up here and explain nothing to nobody i stand on business them days of explaining myself and feeling how i feel if people don't like it they don't like it **** you get the **** on who the **** is you that i gotta sit here and explain myself to you bitch you're not god no no no no you're not your name is not jesus christ i'm not explaining a motherfucking thing to you get god get out my face i want y'all to start in 2025 stop explaining yourself and if you i want you to start i tell this to so many of my clients when you get a gut feeling about anything anybody anywhere. And it is, it's driving you crazy. That gut feeling is driving you crazy. Something feels off, baby. You better trust and believe that is God telling you to believe your intuition and stand 10 toes down on it. How many times we have, we ignored that feeling in our guts and it ended up turning out the truth about somebody you felt negative about, but you were the good person that you are. You tried to ignore it. You want to see the good in people, whatever god be telling us god will give you a feeling your body will tell you your body's always keeping score when you're around toxic narcissistic people your body will trigger your nervous system say uh-uh something ain't right with this ************ and we ignore it because we're good people with good hearts 2025 please stop ignoring your intuition listen to your body if your nervous system sometimes i start shaking or the hairs on my arms go up when i see somebody and i get triggered around them i said oh no bitch i gotta get the **** away from you somebody can say hello and i'll get triggered you know people ask me why do i go off on celebrities and stuff i said because i watch these celebrities and they all are identical male female they all are ******* abusers they're they're worthless grifters scammers liars pedos all of them are ******* abusive and i i called them out i don't give a **** but i want 2025 to be the year y'all stop explaining yourself and start standing on business how you feel about something or someone especially if you get a gut feeling god that's god talking to you honey that's god telling you something ain't right with this bitch promise me y'all get in the comment section y'all please start standing on business if you if your gut your body is telling you something right about a person i don't give a **** if it's a blood relative you better you better listen to that gut feeling stop ignoring it the days of you ignoring your intuition that's what the narcissist wants the narcissist knows we are deeply intuitive we as empaths a lot of us are neurodivergent a lot of us listen are gifted we are chosen the narcissist knows we are spiritually and gifted and we are our intuitive baby it's a gift that's why they envy they can't tap into their ---- the way that we tap into our ---- so they'll do everything in their power to keep us thrown off and distracted from trusting our own intuition including your mother and father why you think your mother and father is so mad that you decided to step away from the family and level up on their asses why do you think your family is keeping up with you cyber stalking you and watching your elevation because the plan was to destroy you the plan was to keep bullying you the plan was to keep gossiping about you and keep your self-esteem low and it backfired now they they witch hunting they gang stalking and watching everything you do watching your level up stand ten toes down stop apologizing for ---- that ain't your fault your mother and father got you apologizing that's because when you were a child you had to walk on eggshells around that crazy ************ my mother is one wild crazy ******* bitch and when i tell you she had us walking on eggshells if you sneeze the wrong way she was she would scream at you with her eyes bulging out her ******* face she used i'm gonna tell y'all something else before i wrap this video up she used to this is you know when we were in high school me and my brother she was obsessed with us like scratching her scalp and picking in her toes she would have my brother or we would switch roles she would have one of us with tweezers picking on her toenails because that that made her feel good had us scratching and picking and cleaning her toenails and she had the other one of us scratching her scalp and she was asleep and we would have to do it till our fingers were numb she had us sitting there doing it till our fingers were ******* numb and when she would doze off and fall asleep we would sneak off the moment she woke up she would scream our names get back in here i didn't tell you to ******* stop come back in here finish doing my hair get get finished working on my feet she would scream so that's what our household was like walking on ******* eggshells around my mother trying to keep her pleased and happy all the goddamn time and it was just never enough that type of ---- will **** your nervous system up as a child then you grow up with all these health issues lupus uh um you know eczema flare-ups hair falling out autoimmune disease irritable bowel syndrome ******* fibroids lipoedema lymphedema which i have i've had two surgeries for my lipoedema as so far and I'm understanding all of it is tied to stress I've had lipoedema since I was a little girl big thighs that I got bullied by you know my mother bullied me about my big thighs when it was nothing more than stress stored in the body trauma stored in the body so I need y'all to understand that this year I really want y'all to work hard on stop apologizing to people for ---- you didn't do stop over explaining yourself don't even to explain yourself at all. I want you to start trusting everything that you feel about yourself. And I want you to stand 10 toes down on it. Okay. It's going to take a lot of practice, a lot of conditioning. And if you're not in therapy, I highly suggest EMDR therapy, eye movement, desensitization, reprocessing therapy, which can be done at the comforts of your home. You don't have to physically get up and go into a doctor's office, a therapist's office. You can do it from your laptop at home. Find a therapist from your insurance plan, a good therapist a psychotherapist as I have and um if your insurance covers it which a lot of them do you can communicate with your therapist once a week through your laptop and you can do the the therapy at home in the comforts of your home which i prefer i don't want to be in around people i don't want to go into no doctor's office i like being in the comforts of my home start working on the changes there's a lot we got to work on ourselves a lot that we have to deprogram things that we have to unlearn that our toxic family have taught us a lot of y'all are walking around thinking you're narcissists when when all it is is that you've picked up toxic behaviors from your family and you can get rid of those behaviors okay it doesn't make you a narcissist we all have narc traits that we can get rid of it's like they call it narcissistic fleas your parents and other family members on the other hand they have the full-blown disorder you don't have the full-blown disorder you may have a couple of traits maybe on the very low end of the spectrum get rid of the traits scrub it off get rid of it but that requires you cutting your family off isolating and getting right so let's start this year stop over explaining yourself and stop apologizing it's not your fault it's nothing you did wrong it's not your fault that you got caught up with an abusive asshole that you married an asshole you married a ******* actor you married a ******* magician a con artist a scammer these people are highly demonic how does that make you stupid when you were just trying to be loving you were you're you were being the person that God created you to be you can't help that you're loving and that you saw the best in that person why why would you why would you apologize for that and see this is where the only time where I would talk about forgiveness is forgive yourself **** forgiving your abuser **** forgiving your mother and father forgive yourself because you you're too hard on yourself okay i hope this video was helpful to someone you're welcome to leave comments yes i'm available for coaching i love you guys let's start standing on business in 2025 y'all we winning the underdog is finally winning i promise you we are have a blessed evening y'all