Avoiding Narcissistic Family on Thanksgiving #npd #narcisisst #narcissisticabuse

Hi everyone, Chanel Jasmine Clark here. I'm also known as a spiritual whistleblower and I am the author of this amazing book My family can kiss my ass, you see it here Okay, how to deal with messy toxic narcissistic family members and I want to talk about this book a little bit. I wrote this book literally two years ago around this time, okay, uh the holidays are fast approaching, whether you celebrate Thanksgiving, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, etc. It really baffles me because it's so many adults that struggle with cutting off their abusive parents around this time of year, people do not know how to set boundaries with their toxic family members and you know this book teaches you specifically and very strategically how to set that boundary. Okay. Whether y'all want to believe it or not, the way that we choose our friendships and romantic relationships, the way that we maneuver in life is all connected to childhood and how our parents groomed us and reared us. Okay. So if mom and dad are narcissistic, they're abusive. Chances are they are enmeshed. They've created a family system where you all are enmeshed uh and codependent, there's no boundaries and your parents really they want you to remain a child even though you're an adult, they treat you like a child, they want you to stay in position as a child okay and they want to control you whether it's financially you know they might share a joint bank account with you where they're depositing money and they can keep track of how you spend your money even though you're an adult don't do that, you should be 100% financially independent of your parents they could be helping you pay your bills all that's a form of control, they can control you with gifts and money and then when you don't obey them or do what they tell you to do they can snatch away the money, the gifts, you know, stop helping you pay your bills, stop helping you babysit that's financial abuse it's financial control your parents do that to you nine times out of ten they're narcissists. You know, um, they can triangulate you against your siblings or other family members. Triangulation is when they use a third party, um, as a form of, um, manipulation to get you to be submissive. They pit you against your siblings. They pit you against cousins and other, uh, relatives and they belittle you. They might put your cousin on a pedestal and compare you to your cousin, just to make you feel small and play on your insecurities. I talk about triangulation in my book. Um, for those of you that may have suffered, um, molestation, you know, a lot of children are sexually molested by a family member and the family will know about it and they'll protect the predator. They'll protect the abuser and cover it up. And this is very common. Okay. in so many households, no matter what the race or ethnicity is, children are being molested and the family members look the other way. And I think it's repulsive. I talk about that in this book. There's a chapter called blood on my hands. I'm a victim of that as well. So I've lived it. I've gone through it. I've called my family out for doing it and not protecting me. And I'm just here to empower the rest of you guys. So, uh, as the holidays approach, um, I hope you're in therapy too. I'm a big, huge advocate of EMDR therapy, which is eye movement, desensitization, reprocessing therapy. It's like a hypnosis. It's not hypnosis, but it's similar to hypnosis and you can look it up and research it. It's excellent. If you have trauma, uh, childhood trauma, and it was a lot extensive and you know you have C-PTSD complex post-traumatic stress disorder i highly recommend EMDR therapy but get this book i really hope you guys can learn to say no to your family um a lot of us have to get restraining orders because your parents do not know how to handle rejection they cannot handle the fact that you're an adult and you're sticking up for yourself they cannot control you financially you pay your own bills and all of that listen grandparents too get this book it's holiday time and I really want to see y'all succeed you cut your family off go to therapy I promise you you will level up every area of your life you will level up financially spiritually you know you don't have to do relationships but focus on self and grow you cannot grow unless you're in isolation and you work on healing and you know what you'll choose better friendships our friendships and romantic relationships you know if they're toxic that's because you are choosing friends and romantic partners that model the personalities of the person that gave birth to you the person that took care of you your caregivers your parents if they're narcissistic and abusive and toxic you've normalized their behavior and you basically transferred it over into your adult life and now you're choosing friendships and relationships just like mom and dad you've got to break those patterns and you can't do that unless you take a time out set a boundary isolate and really work hard on yourself life will get better i promise you um my contact info is down below i do give consultations um i do give discounts for holiday season please y'all get the book it's on amazon soon on tiktok shop and i hope i hope things progress for you learn to set boundaries with your family learn to say no and stand 10 toes down don't let them move or shake you if you got to call the police to get them to ******* sit still that's what you do don't tolerate no disrespect do not tolerate abuse off your your family your parents or grandparents you're grown act like it they treat you like a child but you're actually you're going to have to stand stand up for yourself and show them otherwise you do not have to go to your family's house for Thanksgiving or the holidays go out with your friends go out have a good time focus on yourself you can go out by yourself okay i love eating out by myself get the book My Family Can Kiss My Ass by Yours Truly Chanelle Jasmine Clark also known as the spiritual whistleblower. Bye guys.