Are We Obligated To Give Our Dad Money?

[Music] brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. >> I was calling because I'm looking for some guidance. So, a little backstory. Um, my dad sold us our me and my older brother our childhood home back in 2021 and like the stipulation was that he could still live on the property um and not have to pay like rent or utilities. And we, my older brother and I rent out the house. And we make about $3,400 a month in profit off the rent. And my dad right now, he's a single parent uh growing up and everything. So, he didn't save for retirement. He lives off social security. And he says money is tight right now, and he uh reached out to us and asked if we could give him $400 from the profit of their rent each month. And my older brother was like, "Sure, 100%." And I just like did not feel good about it. I was like, I think we need to look at your finances first, like figure out why money is tight and then like draw some boundaries so it's not like every year like, oh, I need 500, 600 and it add up and everything. And I recognize like none of this money is coming out of my own pocket. It's like purely just profit. And I don't know if I sound like a brat as a child by not just giving it to him. And so I'm just looking for guidance on that. >> He he sold you the house. >> Yes. So we did a so he sold it to or we did a parentto- child transfer and all he wanted was 50,000 and then we took over the rest of the mortgage but like me and my brother are on title and loan like it's legally our house. >> Yeah. And so what was at the time that the mortgage plus 50,000 at the time this happened was how much? >> Uh 450,000. So he had a mortgage of 400 and you gave him 50,000 cash. >> Well, we did a cash out refinance, so we gave him 50,000 from that. >> Oh, okay. And so the two of you have a $450,000 mortgage now. And at the time that he sold you the house for $450,000, what was the home worth? >> Uh like 1.3. >> Okay. Okay. So, and now he doesn't have any money. >> He says, "Yeah, money is tight." >> But I mean, he doesn't have any money. He had 50,000 bucks, >> and that was many years ago, and he's gone through that. And he lives on the property. >> Mhm. >> Uh, humbly. >> Yes. >> After he gave you a half a million dollars, he's not very wise. He shouldn't have given you that money. He shouldn't have given you this house. I know. >> I mean, not not I mean, he his first obligation is to pay his own bills. His second obligation or his second only after you're paying your bills and have a plan for your bills do you start giving stuff away? >> Yes, I think he had that plan. I think things I'm not sure. That's why I wanted to look at his finances. But I I look I look at it because the house is worth a lot of money and then I feel like I don't know. It was worth a lot of money when he gave it to you. >> Mhm. >> He gave y'all a million dollar house for half a million. >> Yes. >> Yeah. And and and Yeah. And but and yet he ran out of money. So the whole thing he's a single dad he hasn't saved for retirement. It's bull crap. Cuz he would have had a half a million dollars in the account living off of that and not been calling you if he had just simply sold this house. Correct. And he's told us that he regrets it. And yeah, hindsight it's 2020, but >> that's dumb. >> Yeah. And so I assume he has absolutely no other money that you know of. It's not like he's got a million dollars in the bank from something else. >> No, I think he has some things. I I don't know because I haven't looked at his finances. And so I was like, "Hey, if we give you this $400 a month, like let's let's sit down, look at your finances, see where where money is going because you don't have a car to 73." >> And how is his health? >> Great. He looks like he's 55. >> Okay. All right. >> And is he's retired, not working, Jenna? >> Correct. >> Yeah. um you you you don't have an obligation at all morally, ethically, spiritually, anything. But if someone had given me a half a million dollar gift and in return they're asking for $200 cuz 400 200 of it's yours, 200 of it's your brothers. I would I wouldn't think anything about giving them $200. So, you wouldn't do it? >> I would do it. >> Oh, okay. >> I I I don't think it would be a problem at all. I mean, he gave you a half a million dollars. He stupidly gave you a half a million dollars that he shouldn't have done. Then he wouldn't be having this trouble. >> Yes. >> So, I don't know what was going on in their in your life. >> Well, I'm curious, Jenna, why $400 for him? To your point, wanting just to look. I'm just curious if $400, you know, does that change? Well, what >> he's probably living on social security, living in the shed out back. That's what it sounds like, >> right? >> Yeah. I'm not sure. That's why I was like I didn't know if I was in the right to ask him like to ask. >> Well, I mean, you could it would be not not to ask him to justify you doing this, but just to make sure he's okay. >> He might need 800. I'm just worried. My biggest worry is that he is giving it is going to give it to my little brother because my little brother just is doesn't do anything and so >> Okay, that's a fair that's new information that you never brought up until now. >> Sorry. >> That's okay. But now I mean so I think you can address that with your dad. Dad, I want to make sure you're okay. I'm happy to do this, but I'm not happy to give my little brother money because he sits on his butt. Mhm. >> If you're going to give it to him, no, I'm not going to do it. And if if if you let me look at your stuff with you and make sure you're okay, I want to make sure you're okay. You gave us this wonderful gift all these years ago. Um and little brother got cut out of that gift, by the way, didn't he? >> On paper, yes. But my dad is now coming back and saying that, hey, you need to split the house three ways between um >> No. So I was like he wasn't respon or financially responsible at the time of the sale. So that's why he wasn't included. >> Yeah. No, we're not redoing the deal. I've been I've been dealing with this house and now I'm dealing with you. No deal. The deal's done. But again, you see how haphazard this whole thing was. When y'all did this deal, it shouldn't have happened. It was a bad deal for your dad and he didn't think it through well. and and now he's trying to come back and slide the brother in. And now he's trying to come back and slide 400 bucks out because he should have never done this in the first place. He didn't have the half a million dollars to give away. He was too broke to be giving away half million dollar gifts. >> Mhm. >> Okay. And so now, yeah, I I I would be concerned that he's okay cuz his judgment's bad. We've established that. I want to make sure he's okay. I want loving act. Yeah, I'm happy to do this to help you, Dad. And I'm not going to put the little brother on the deed. Period. >> Y >> that's done. >> And the money is not going to the little brother, but if all is said and he says, "No, it's not. This is for me to take care of him." Yeah. I mean, he gave you a half million dollars, you give him $200 zippy. It doesn't matter. I mean, yeah, I would do that. >> Definitely do that. But uh the the but step back two notches and y'all as a family learn your lessons from all the ridiculous things that have been done wrong in this whole thing. So and now I'm really worried about you and your older brother being partners in this thing. And now little brother decides he's going to go into orbit about this. Yeah. This is this is this is not clear. It's not good. So bad deal all the way around. Bad deal. Um, man. So, um, >> but Jenna, I don't think you're being a brat for having these questions. You asked that at the beginning and I think you're having some like critical thinking. >> Yeah. You you've got some concerns that are valid. >> Yeah. >> And I would look into those concerns, but I want to do it through the lens of love. I love my dad and he was generous to me and I want to make sure he's okay. >> Not of, oh, I'm not going to give him 200 bucks. That is bratty if you're going to do that. But but you know I if if he's going to give it to the little brother and the little brother's buying weed with it, no, we're not doing that. I'm I'm with you on that. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your