My Gut Feeling Uncovered $87,000 of Debt

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. About two months ago, I found out that my husband left up probably about $87,000 in credit card and personal loan debt. He was day trading with Robinhood, and I just found out about it. How'd you find out? Sorry, Alicia. So we were planning a trip to Disney World, and you know we've had our finances separate i know that's bad now um since i've been watching the show um i've had a gut feeling about um i just had a gut feeling that someone was off i asked him like what can you pay what can you do to contribute to the trip and he was just kind of i don't know he was kind of dismissive and so i finally asked him like what's going on there's some red flags here and then i found out about all of the debt i have all um the logins to all of his accounts now and so i found the debt um so he eventually told you once he started saying hey what's really going on here he said hey i've i've been using this app Robinhood i've been day trading and i racked up all this debt did he tell you the exact amounts nope he at first it was 45 $5,000. And then when I got on his credit card, I found all of the accounts and I went through his spending and it finally came out to the total amount. The $87,000 is just the debt. So he spent far more than that, but he's just in the hole by $87,000 at this point across personal loans and credit cards is how he did it? Yeah. Yes. And he depleted his previous 401k at his previous employer, and he's taken about $18,000 from his current employer, so he's having to pay that back. Took it from his... So he's robbed two 401ks, his old one and his current one. Okay, okay. So where is he at right now in this? He's gotten a second job. I am the high earner here, so it's very difficult. I've tried to look for work, but I can't compete with, you know, it's hard for me to find a job. I'm a pharmacist and I'm in retail at a clinic, so I can't go out to my CVS or Walgreens and get another job. I don't know that income is the number one solution right now. I'm more worried about his gambling addiction that he hasn't called out yet. Yes. Yes. So he's in counseling for that right now um we have separate counseling we have counseling together and I also have counseling so we've already started that um I'm watching his accounts um he just told me basically that he got in over his head and he just was trying to pull himself out and it just kept getting worse and worse yeah and there's probably a reality to that for sure that I we see that a lot and then what george said is true like when we see and it is it's the number one addiction by like a hundred fold um is now gambling online it's this kind of stuff and so he is you know sadly you know walked right in to a trap that so many so many people are dealing with and it's very um it's such a it's such a sneaky addiction because like what you just said is what we hear all the time as well just give me one more chance and i can and i can and i can get i can make more it'll be different this time yes yes and so you see it and you see the spiral happen and so um so yeah so for you guys i think keeping your accounts separate are they still separate good yeah which i would i would recommend at this point and really you guys figuring out a roadmap to rebuild trust together because the the redemption on the positive side of all of this is after his awareness of what's going on within him uh you know getting even in in ga you know what i mean like whatever whatever tools he needs in life to really um overpower this is going to be so big and and the positive you know the the redemptive side is that he does get control of this and you guys then eventually do merge everything and you become one with your money. You get out of this debt and you guys run off into the sunset together and do you know what I mean? And it works. But until you have some really serious changes in him, I would still keep it separate. And I'm curious, how much do you make? Because you said you are the high earner. I make $150,000. Okay. And he makes probably $42,000. Okay. Where is his money going right now? Where is it depositing into? All of his loans into one account. I mean, he has probably $600 left over from his earnings. I'm paying all the bills right now which i used to have a lot more money left over now i don't and so i'm trying to navigate how what debt i pay off first because i've got a lot of student loan debt how much debt do you guys have total so he has 87 right there what else is there probably about 511 000 we have our home is 225 oh that counts the home i have student loans um i have two loans is like $156,000, but I do work for a non-profit, so I am on the public to get my loans repaid off. How far are you into that process? I'm only three years, so I still have another seven years to go. That scares me a little bit. I know. We're hanging on to a lot of hope on the other end. That's another question, too, is like, what do I do? Do I start throwing money at that? Or do I hope for forgiveness and start with another debt? No, I mean, I would not hang on to the idea of the student loan forgiveness because number one, seven years is a long time and you're changing your career. What people end up doing is not taking a better job. They hold on to a job because they're looking at $200,000 of student loan debt to be repaid. And so it just limits your options in life. And I mean, personally, I'm like, who knows what the government's going to do in seven years right i mean they changed their mind i feel like on so much and so to hang your hopes that it actually is going to happen um that's not where i would put my hope i'd put my hope in you guys alicia i would i would put my hope in you guys working your way out of this and you put you really put you know your future in your hands and it's not being lent out to the government out of all people right that they're going to fix the problem and so um so i think so So his paycheck is just going straight to his loans to pay off that $87,000 is what you're saying? Yeah, but that's just the minimum payment. So it's not really making a dent in the overall. How many loans are there did he have? 14. 14, okay. So he has about seven personal loans and seven credit cards. Okay. Have you guys pulled your credit reports? Yes. Okay. And have you frozen your accounts with all three bureaus with those? Yes, yes. Okay, because the part we need to watch for now is the boundaries to make sure that we don't bump into anything along the way, go into any further debt. And so blocking all access, I'm guessing the Robinhood app is long gone, deleted, account shut down? Yes. Okay. Yes. Okay, I would definitely attack this with the debt snowball method. And your marriage healing is a huge part of that process. That would be the priority here. And then on top of that, we're going to work together to attack these debts. I don't want you to feel like it's all on you and he's got to pay off all of his debt I would just make this a big pile and say we're a team All of this money is going to go towards debt payoff. That's the goal while covering all the bills And by the end of this it might be three four years from now until you guys are completely debt free from your consumer debts Okay. Yeah, and Alicia too. I would be um And you probably are with your counselor, which I think is great But in situations where the spouse is the one that ends up from a tactical level being the thing that kind of cleans up the mess from the other spouse you know resentment can build you know which is human right i mean like there's a lot of emotions that will go in this process that actually as you process them and not suppress but you actually get it out and and having a third party like a counselor is such a good place to do all of that to work through that healing that's going to be part of the healing. So I want you to feel all the feels and you know what I mean? Be as pissed as you need to be because I, it is, it feels like, Oh my gosh, this, this is not right. Cause it's not right. It's betrayal. I mean, you've lost all trust in him. Yes. Yes. So that's right. So all like, all of that is so cleansing honestly, because like what George said in three years, I'm, I'm praying from the emotional standpoint, you guys are healed from a marriage perspective and then financially, you know, I think you will get there. It's just going to be a day by day. fight um to do it but um but yeah i hope there's a i hope there's a roadmap a very clear roadmap for him to rebuild trust with you because that's what he's gonna have to do and those actions coming up will be dictating how that's gonna go and if he's not willing to change that's a separate discussion but it sounds like he he's willing to change, there's actual remorse here and Rachel's the number one reason young people are always asking me what's wrong with Robinhood, why do you guys hate on Robinhood this is why, yes it is a form of the Fidelity and Vanguard account are not going to be pushing trading on you, I literally took a screenshot of this Robinhood ad that showed up on my feed, Bitcoin is moving, will it finish above or below, trade the next 15 minutes on Robinhood with 15 minute contracts now in your prediction markets hub they don't care about your long-term wealth building plan, they want to take your money now yes, with urgency, with day trading, with crypto and it's why I rebuke all things Robinhood, they are not, they don't have your best interest at heart no, it's a short-term hit just like any other day like any other medicator in life, it it plays right into all of that plays right into it and people walk right in you guys and it's not worth it, is it, is so so dangerous so um Alicia call us back if you if you need anything else because we're we're cheering for you guys, I really pray on the other end of this you guys have a such a stronger more intimate marriage and financially that you guys are on the same page and you're working together create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your life