Having a Conversation with My Ex

Have you ever wanted to have a conversation with your ex? Like, really ask those questions that you probably should have asked in the relationship, but you didn't get to, and you definitely didn't ask the questions after. Well, y'all, my ex is here today. So let's do it. Surprise. OK, I can't. Hey. What's going on? What's up? You looking beautiful. Thank you. OK, you go. OK. Welcome. Yes. My glasses are open. Here he is, Mr. Slim Thug himself. But he going by Big Slim now. I'm not a thug. I'm on the ground. Some might know him as Slim Thug, but he's Big Slim. Big Slim. All caps. Big Slim. I'm in the gym, too. I can't. Here's the thing. I'm in the gym. I know you know, but yeah. OK. Yeah, we working on it. We dated for quite a bit. Yeah, pretty long time. I don't know exactly what year. It was a long time. It was like 10 years on and off. A long time. Very long, mm-hmm. That's a lot. See, that's what people don't understand about me. Like, they think I'm wild. But really, I've been in a relationship on and off for 10 years, like. Kind of. So there's that. Let's get into the questions first. I'm not even going to. Yeah. Right. Let's get into it. You want to take this one or you want me to do it? I don't know. I want you to tell me. I don't know. Remind me. Here we go. OK, so I was at T-Town, which is a club. T-Town. That's what it was. I told my homeboy, hey, man. Did he go get you? What happened? It was the suck-away, but whatever. So here we go. I don't even think I told him. I think he just took the initiative to say, oh, man. I'm going to hook you up with her and that. You know, because he knew I liked y'all. Oh, really? Yeah, he seen me. OK, well, overwatched this dude. And he's like, yeah, my homeboy want to talk to you real quick. And I was like, well, tell your homeboy to come over here. Like, a grown man. And he was like, man, just come on. And so I think my girlfriends associated who the homeboy was to Slim and was like, you should probably go over there. And I was like, no. And he was like, girl, come on. Like, whatever. So I go with the homeboy over to meet Slim. And he's giving all the Mac Daddy vibes, all of them. And he's like, what's up? What's up on your number? Da, da, da. And I was like. See, back in the day, you had to actually get numbers, fellas. Like, y'all youngsters be complaining. It's so easy out on social media. You could just slide in a DM and find Instagram. You had to get numbers back in the day. Yeah, he definitely got my digits. Right. I was like, I don't even live here. I live in Atlanta. And he was like, ain't nothing but a flight. And I was like. Right, right. Ain't nothing but a flight. I was young. We was ready. And we was young, so you know what I mean? So it was very bossy. You called me on my birthday. I called her. And the phone hung up somehow. Sure did. So I was like, wow. Like, what happened? She just hung up on me. Then we don't talk. So then we was at another club, actually. We was at another club another time. And you could tell that she was trying to get my attention. She walked by like five times. I swear she just kept walking by, walking by. I seen her. And I say, ah, man. Because I told my homeboy. Man, I tried to hit her. Man, she hung up on me. So they laughing at me. I've been dealing with these jokes. So I'm not trying to speak or be nice. I'm like, man, she's trying to diss me. So I'm sitting in the club or whatever. And I just see her just keep walking by, like trying to get my attention. Had to be like five, six times. I did not walk by five or six. He always come with this. That's a whole lot. I was going upstairs because it was like a two-story club. So me and my homegirls, we walked by to go upstairs. And then we came back and went back downstairs. And he caught me in the corner when the lights came on. Yeah, at that point, I was like, say, what's up? You hung up on me when I called you. Like, what's up with that? And then she was like, no, I didn't hang up on you. I forgot what happened. You know, after that, we began to conversate. And then, yeah. Quick. Yeah, it was quick. After that time, we began to, you know, go out on different dates. Or did we go to the aquarium or something like that? That was our first date, the aquarium. You remember. Right, yeah. We had a picture. I think I probably still got that picture. You had an orange jersey on. That was super throwback, yeah. Yep, I remember that. So after that, it was just date after date. Yep. And then, oh, I moved to LA. And then he started flying out to LA. Right, right. She was recording. You know what I'm saying? I was. Oh, my gosh. She was recording out there. I'm Slump Thug, the local rapper who rap on chopped and screwed music. So a lot of people wasn't familiar. You wasn't in the chopped and screwed music. You didn't really hear, you know, a lot of Slump Thug. So I was out there with her. And she was recording. And she told me to get on one of her records. Hey, fella. Yeah, so I did a verse to it. And then her manager was like, oh, you rap? You know, and then he was like, well, let me hear some more records. And he ended up sending it to a label. And I ended up getting a deal myself. See? That was definitely, you know, great energy. I appreciate it. Right place, right time. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Hey, got a long deal. Yeah. Good timing. Yeah. Well, there are so many things. I love his confidence. He has always been confident. He still is very, obviously, confident. He might be shy when it comes to knocking somebody down. But he's not shy when it comes to his artistry and his creativity. He's a star. When he walks in, I mean, first of all, he's 6'6". That's how he's cute. And then, you know what I'm saying? He's handsome. It's a light on him when he walk in any room. And you, you know, it's attractive. Well, thank you. Appreciate that. You can't miss him. And they don't ever. You can't miss him at all. Really, what stuck out first, you know, when I first seen her is just like I say, she always dressed like she going somewhere. You know, like she got dripped. What? She always dressed like she going somewhere fancy. You know what I'm saying? Something surprising was her personality. She's silly. Like, we have, you know, a great time. Like, she'll be trying to freestyle, whatever it is. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, so her sense of humor is, is high. And, you know, you really laugh a lot dealing with toys. So that's something I didn't know she was that funny. Thank you. When I got to know her more, what I liked about her was the friendship. Like, I felt like we was for real BFFs. It wasn't a relationship where I was trying to duck her, you know, or whatever. Like, you know, we really enjoyed kicking it. You know what I'm saying? And that's something that's so rare. You know, I still have trouble finding friendships like that. You know, and that's something that I still, you know, admire about her now and her flyness. She's still to this day dressed like she going to a war show every day. Why I got to be in a war show? I'm just saying. It's fly. I like it. I love it, though, actually. It's inspiring. Hmm. He is so about family. Like, I've never really experienced that in a relationship before. He is so about his family and getting together. Like, he loved, especially during holidays. That's when I feel like when everything kind of fell apart with us, that's when I missed him the most because he was about, let's go to your family house. We're going to play bingo over here. We're going to do this or whatever. We're going to turn up. We're going to go to my family house. And he loved seeing all the kids run around, being with his uncles, his aunts, his mom. Like, I love that about him. And I feel like, you know, there's people see him in one way. You know, he's this hardcore, big, you know, tough guy. But he's such a soft, loving family guy. Like, when you get around him, I ain't trying to, you know, tease him out real quick. Nah, but I'm saying, like, that's a good quality. Everywhere he goes, he got his family with him. It's time we got here. We had this conversation because we walk and talk a lot. We tried to have something very serious at a very young age. Like, I met him at 20. To my surprise, he was ready to lock in, get married, have a home, kids, all that in our early 20s. Although his heart was probably ready for something like that, his environment, they didn't align. It's unfortunate because probably, well, not probably, what I want and desire now and probably what he would want now, it probably could have gotten messed up pretty bad with the way that things were handled in our 20s. There was heartbreak. There was disappointment. But, right, everybody knew us, especially in Houston. Everybody knew we were together. You wouldn't see him without seeing me. And that can be attractive to other women, right? Especially young ladies. They're like, oh, well, if he got, then we... So I think he leaned into that a little bit. If you will. Oh, wow. He definitely enjoyed himself along that journey. And I will say, for me, I'll take responsibility. I would get frustrated and I would leave a lot. Okay, that's all I need to hear. That's the truth right there. Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is my side of the street. I'm making sure my side of the street is clean. I done already talked about your side of the street. Now I'm over here. Gotcha. So, I felt like issues that probably, like, we could have worked through, talked through. If I didn't feel that he was hearing me or was ready to make the changes that needed to be made, I was out. It was for some major things, and I have the right to leave. But at the same time, I think that there were a few times where I could have just, I could have cooled my heels, took the tennis shoes off and really locked in and forced to work through things. But he was young. He was 25 years old. Very young, super young. Popping, he had money, he had access to everything. He in Japan, you know what I'm saying, with Pharrell, living it up. I'm over here in L.A., a single out, you know what I'm saying, on tour with Mary. It was lit. It was going down. And then it went down. Right. Yeah. In flames. I believe that what broke us up was the breakups, the little, the small walk-outs, you know, because... So it's my fault we broke up? I ain't trying to say it's nobody's fault. Do you want me to hold you? Because I'd like to bring a cute truth. But no, I'm just saying, I'm not blaming you. I'm just saying that the small breakups, disagreements, you know, we would have that would separate us, you know, and I would think that it's a real breakup, it opened the doors, you know what I'm saying? I believe. And I believe that if we didn't have that, it wouldn't have been no issue. It wasn't like I was looking for it, I was trying to find it. It was just because we ain't together right now, you know, stuff happens. But I do take the responsibility of being the person who messed up, you know. And I'm not blaming her at all, you know. It was my mistakes that led to us not being together. I was serious, like I say, like I was, we was engaged. Nobody knows that. Right, we was engaged at one time, like, you know, back in the day. But it's good that we can still, you know, sit here and talk and have a friendship to this day. Yeah. Okay, hold on, hold that thought. Listen, have you ever had a conversation like this with your ex? Have you wanted to have a conversation like this with your ex? Better yet, have you tried to go back to your ex, and if you did, how did that go? I need to see in the comments below, okay. I need to read y'all's stories because I'm telling mine, I'm sharing mine, we being transparent. I want to know about you, alright. Drop in the comments below. The foundation of our whole relationship was our friendship. Like, we did everything together. We talked about everything. It wasn't nothing that he didn't know about me. Like, he told me his deepest secrets, I told him mine. We were family. Our families are still connected. And I think that that also plays a huge part in it because his niece is still my niece. My brother, he sees him every day. So, regardless of whatever happened, it's still been our love every time we see each other. And when I would come home to Houston, no matter if I lived in LA, Atlanta, wherever it was, when we saw each other, it just felt like home again. He would always be like, man, you should get us, I can't say what he would say. Like, man, face it, you're my soulmate, man. That's what this is. Like, that's what it is. Like, that's what the connection is. We always gonna be whatever. It's just, it's complicated, but you are, you're my soulmate. So, live with it, deal with it. I'd be like, whatever, no, I'm not. Like, I can do better. Like, there's so much better for me than this, whatever this is. But there's nothing better than a great friendship. I can honestly say that. There is nothing better than a great friendship with your partner. Right. And we genuinely have that. And that's so hard to get away from, because there's nothing phony about it. You can't shake that off easily. It's, it takes a lot of distance and really not seeing each other or all of that, you know what I'm saying? But even still, like, I would hear that he was like, is she all right? Is she good? From afar, through friends, because we still had that connection. And I would be like, is he, is he, you know what I mean? Because you want to check up on your friend. I think people have more grace with their friends than they do sometimes their partners in relationships. And I think we gave each other so much grace because we were genuine friends. So, yeah, I think that that's how we remain buddies. Go ahead, Toya. No, you go first on this one. Go right on in. You got it? I honestly, I don't know. You know what I'm saying? It's like, really, like, we grown, you know, we so different right now that we would just have to, you know, see where we at in each other's life now. You know what I'm saying? But like I say, the friendship's still there. You know, she still flies over, you know. She just got a whole family now, you know, and so do I. So it's like, we got to just, I don't know how that will work. We'll see, though. The foundation is there. You know, the history is there, the friendship is there. Yes, I have two wonderful children and I have to approach relationships different because of that, because they're so small and they're the biggest part of my world and anybody that I would want to be in a relationship with would have to love them, care for them, be there for them and understand that these are my babies. You know what I mean? And it's so funny because he's seen me like working out. We work out at the same spot or whatever and I would have my kids. He'd be like, yo, you a real mom. Real mom. It'd be like crazy just watching this, like, because she is, if you know Toya, she is such a queen whether she want to make up, she want all of, you know, all that stuff. So to see her scrambling with the kids, it's a whole nother look, man. It's something to see. Yeah, so I mean, and he, it was funny when he made the comment because it's like, yo, this is hilarious. But I think it would be a conversation of what do you need? What do I, this is what I need and what do you need? I know and I've learned that you can't make somebody happy. You have to be happy with yourself and be whole and then that person has to come in and compliment that and see you. And I think in my relationships moving forward, I have to be seen. The good thing about Slim is he has seen me in almost every way. Happy, sad, angry, confused, every state because we were a decade in, you know what I'm saying? And so I think it would just be communication. Patience for sure. This is what I want. This is what I expect. This is where I'm at. That would be it. Would you be open to like therapy and things like that? Last time we went to therapy, I won. See, that's what therapy, see? Yeah, and we never went back. We never went back. You know how women, fellas, you know how women always try to say, let's go to therapy. Go to therapy. Most of the time you gonna be right, watch. Of course, when a teacher got more questions for you and her attention seems to be on you a little more and he's sitting over there in silence looking at me like, mm-hmm, yeah, that's why she on you. I'm like, no, she's not on me. I'm the one dealing with the most stuff. I'm the one dealing with the trauma of it all. So yeah, she got more questions for me and I was trying to understand my emotions at the time because I was so hurt. I was so hurt by it and I did, and I wanted our relationship to work badly so I was trying to go to different lengths to make sure that that happened but, you know, stuff happens. We gotta, like I say, just step-by-step it. You know, we friends right now. Let's see. But I don't have no, I'm not closing, you know, nothing. I'm not saying I won't do nothing so let's see where we grow. What he said. Right. Well, yeah, we homies. We friends. And we gonna enjoy that friendship. Let me gather myself because that was juicy. Listen, you do not want to miss what's coming up on my channel so make sure you subscribe. Alright, click the link below because you never know what's gonna happen on Leave It To Latoya. That's all I'ma say.