My Ex-Boyfriend Is On the Deed To My House

[Music] brought to you by the every dooll app start budgeting for free today okay so I own a home I purchased it five and a half years ago I purchased it because I was pregnant with my son um and at the time my son's father and I we were just dating we never married um I somehow um got him on the deed of the home unknowingly at the time that that's what was happening I asked the Linder if he could be on the house in some way she added him to the deed I did not realize that until 2 years in when I refinanced my house and we were at the time ending our relationship he moved out and he has held the deed over my head since then and will not take his name off um so it's been a few years since we've separated and we went through custy court and he told me that if I gave him full custody of our son he would take his name off the house and he I would owe him no money um and then we had another mediation and he said if I paid him 100,000 then he would take his name off um so I I'm going to pay him to get off the house but what I'm trying to understand is how much does he actually get what is a fair offer um I know it's that's up to you and the lawyers I mean there's no there's no math formula here you know what did he put down with the house when you guys bought it nothing nothing so he put down nothing did he make half the mortgage payments he did make half the mortgage payments for the two years he lived there and he helped pay the taxes for those two years that's what I would I have offered him yeah I offered to pay he put in about $244,000 um but he wants a hundred he said I will not take anything less yeah well I want to I want to be able to dunk a basketball there's a lot of things I want in life that I'm not going to get he doesn't get to decide this guy's a just a low life he's a he's an absolute scumbag yeah so I said it's a I think it's a fair offer that I give you what you put in it's my has the house appreciated yes it has um I bought it it was 300,000 now it's worth about 425 okay and after all of your fees I mean you could maybe the lawyers decide all right he's going to get part of the appreciation on top of what he put in but no more than that well that's which is not $100,000 he's only put in 24 I I put together a very detailed spreadsheet I put down the down payment the earnest I I've paid everything to get into the home is your name on the mortgage solely now yes he was never on the mortgage okay he was only on the D but he's holding it over me and he says if you're nice to me I'll take my name off if you're mean to me I'm not going to and it's it's been this back and forth yeah that's that's what I want to dive into for just a moment um the psychology of this yeah um other than just closure and what you shared so far is he being on this deed at this moment causing you any other real grief or problems in life yes it is how well because I want to move forward I'm in a new relationship and we're planning on getting engaged and you know it's really causing a lot of problems in my new relationship by having this tie to my past okay and so I was going to tell you to wait him out a little bit because I think this guy's just a scumbag and I think he's trying to bully you and I think yeah 100 I think there's two tactics here you know you just go scorched Earth and and come with all the records and and get in front of a judge and let the judge decide I think that's probably the one I was going to I was going to suggest maybe you wait him out a little bit but with this new relationship going on it's uh we need to get him get this guy off and clean it up so here's the deal we can't help you're going to need to get in touch with your lawyer do you have one I've talked to three okay and they told me that we could go and send him a demand letter and I told him I was going to get an attorney and he said I hope that you do and I hope we spend every dollar in equity to pay for these attorneys and you get nothing good well when you win he's going to have to pay the attorney fees yeah that's going to be part of this deal so what you're going to likely go for is a quiet title action which will resolve the this dispute over the property ownership and so that again I'm not a lawyer but that's I would pursue that action that's the only way to force him to sign something yeah because I do have a lot of evidence I mean he when we went through custy Court he would record conversations that we would have that I did not know and he would talk about the house and said when I buy my house and I move out I will sign my name over so I have a lot of evidence to show that he's very much said he would take his name off and wanted no money you know tried to bribe me into giving me full C or giving him full custody of our son that's great it's just been yeah it's been a black what are you planning on doing with this current guy you guys going to live in this house let's say that you get this ex off of this thing what's the plan well I would like to keep my home um you know it's got great schools it's a great house and so we would like to get him off and then you know be able to move forward and make decisions without having to go to closing with him and no I get it I was just curious I was going to go a different direction if the answer was different but I'm I'm fun yeah so he he has a house and he wants to sell his house um and pull the equity out of his and we want to keep mine um and then you know be able to make decisions after that but yeah it's just kind of been a headache to be able make any decisions with him so of the three lawyers you need to go back and interview them all one more round and you need to put them under under the microscope of what would you do tell me what your next three steps are how much time you think that's going to take tell them about his threat to try to draw this thing out which by the way I think he's full of crap because if he tries to draw you out he's going to have to pay legal fees so I wouldn't be scared by this Punk this guy's a punk and I'd keep the meticulous records and all the evidence of everything he said he's going to do text messages emails phone calls this is not gonna be fun I hate you're going through this but it's part of the messiness you know when you get involved with someone you're not married to and I hope you don't repeat that with this next guy I hope you wait until you're actually married to add him to the mortgage or the de this needs to turn into a PSA right now George for all of the young people that are listening or middle-aged I guess doesn't matter how old you are and you're thinking about buying a house and you think oh it doesn't matter to dot the eyes and cross the teas this story I hate this that Amber is the poster child for why we say don't do this stuff I would not buy a house to anyone I'm not married to family friends boyfriend girlfriend if we are not legally lawfully wedded no thank you it's going to cause chaos down the line and financial and legal mess and that's the calls we get on this show so if you need any further proof there it is and if you're a dude out there who thinks that what this guy's doing is okay and you think you want to do this can I just tell you something you're a turd and this guy Welly this guy needs a visit I can't say it any better guy needs a visit with me and a whiffle ball bat and just smack him around a little bit may have pickle ball well pickle ball paddle will do some damage but not really hurting this is the Ramsey Show create your free every dooll budget today the simplest way to budget for your life