This Is Why So Many People Are Single

Hi everyone. Welcome back to my channel. I'm Courtney Ryan and today we are reacting to a TikTok. The video is from a creator with the handle Olivia.AntonGiovanni. I hope I'm saying that right. So we're going to watch it together all the way through and then reconvene and I will share my thoughts per usual. The whole men suck, there are no good men left in this world conversation is what makes women settle. Let's talk about it. I'm going to put the name of the woman who spoke on this right here. I forget her name right now. I'm so bad at names. But she made such a good point and I loved it. When we talk about how much men suck and how there are no good men left in this world, we are basically convincing ourselves to settle for what we have because you're not going to find better. People will kind of be like, yeah, well, they don't love this about my relationship or yeah, I'm going to settle for this or yeah, I mean, you have to deal with this and you have to deal with that, but that's just life. At least he's not cheating on me. Oh my gosh, all the single women struggle so much with finding a good man. I don't want that to be my problem too, though they settled for mediocrity because it's better than the unknown. And in our mind, all the good men are taken and all the men that are left are bad and horrible. Don't get me wrong. I am first to say I hate men because sometimes I really do hate men, but I hate the bad men and I do truly believe there are such good men out there because I know good men. I've had a good man. I am absolutely positive that good, amazing men exist. And yeah, maybe it's more rare to find, but I'm more rare to find too, so it kind of makes sense. This is just a reminder to not settle because you think that there's nothing better. That's a really bad reason to not settle. And I think sometimes we forget that. Settle when you know that you have the best, not when you think that you can't find better. I have to start by saying, I'm sure as a viewer, it's nice to hear not all men suck or great men exist. So cheers to that. Well, I think there are a few comments in here that I could offer a different perspective on, which I will overall, I think this is a relatively refreshing take on this common rhetoric that I see online. I mean, there are truly so many videos online on both sides of the spectrum. All men suck. All women suck. There's no good men left. There's no good women left. So it's nice to hear at least one perspective on why thinking this way could be unhelpful and damaging to your dating life. I think there are more reasons than just this, which I'll talk about. But again, compared to the videos that I usually see, this one was refreshing. And this video really got me thinking about the concept of settling. And I want to start here before we get into more of the details because I think starting baseline with settling is important. I think the word settling carries such a negative connotation as if it's synonymous with failure or giving up. But I don't think that's entirely accurate or fair. One of the reasons I believe dating feels so challenging today is because so many people have been sold this lie that you should never have to compromise in a relationship. But the reality is every healthy partnership requires compromise, flexibility, and yes, even a level of settling. Why? Because no one is perfect. And the idea of a perfect partner simply does not exist. On the flip side of what the woman in the video is discussing, I think our culture has also adopted this extreme never settle mindset. You know, you hear phrases like, well, with the right person, you won't have to compromise. But honestly, that's just not how real relationships work. Compromise is a cornerstone of any lasting relationship. I think it's about two people being willing to meet each other halfway, to give and to take and to find solutions that work for both of them together. Now let me clarify, there are non-negotiables that you absolutely should not settle on like respect, shared values, and emotional safety. Those are just three important examples, but I don't think those should ever be compromised. But I do think that some people's standards have become a bit unrealistic, especially when it comes to superficial qualities that don't truly define a meaningful relationship. I think the key is knowing what really matters to you and being willing to sort of let go of the rest. Settling when done intentionally and with clarity is not about giving up. It's about building a partnership that's grounded in reality, not perfection. At the end of the video, she said, don't settle just because you think there's nothing better. That's a really bad reason to settle. Settle when you know you have the best, not because you think you can't find better. And although I see the truth in this, and I do think it's coming from a good place, I also want to offer another perspective because that's what I always try to do in my reaction videos. I like to paint both sides. I like to make sure we're looking at multiple perspectives. While this idea of not settling sounds empowering, it assumes that the best is an objective or an achievable standard. I think in reality, this mindset can lead to perpetual dissatisfaction and an endless pursuit of something better, causing people to completely overlook meaningful relationships with imperfect but deeply compatible partners. Sometimes, now not all the time, but sometimes striving for the best can create unrealistic expectations that nobody can possibly meet, fostering a cycle of disappointment or fear of commitment. Relationships aren't about finding perfection, but about building something valuable through compromise, through growth, shared effort. The idea of settling shouldn't always be viewed negatively. It can also mean choosing contentment and investing in a relationship that meets your needs, even if it doesn't necessarily check every single box. And a lot of people have a lot of boxes to check. So, understandably so. Now I can completely agree that the belief that all men suck or there are no good men left creates a really dangerous mindset, and it's just simply not true. This idea is not rooted in reality, but rather in fear and frustration. The truth is, there are plenty of great men out there, just as there are plenty of great women. Believing otherwise can lead us to lower our standards and settle for mediocrity. Not because it's what we truly want, but because we convince ourselves that it's the best that we can do. And it can also make us, both men and women, approach dating with a very hateful and bitter mindset, which I also don't think is helpful. This mindset is damaging for both men and women, and I think when we buy into it, we approach dating from a place of scarcity instead of possibility. I think fear, whether it's the fear of being alone, fear of the unknown, fear of getting hurt, becomes the driving force behind our choices and usually ends in long-term dissatisfaction. The narrative that all the good ones are taken isn't based on evidence, it's based on a limited perspective. It's just as untrue for women as it is for men who believe all the good women are taken. Also keep in mind, a healthy, fulfilling relationship isn't created by settling for what you think that you can get. It's built on trust, mutual effort, and a sense of abundance. I think we really need to challenge this belief and instead try to focus on growth, patience, reality, and keeping our minds a little bit more open. I also really liked something she said in the video. She said, you know, it might be more rare to find, but I'm more rare to find too. And I think by shifting our mindset, we give ourselves the opportunity to find connections that are both meaningful and also aligned with what we truly value. So yes, settle only when you've found someone who truly aligns with your values, someone who respects you, and someone who makes you feel like you're with the best person for you. Someone that you are genuinely compatible with. The goal isn't perfection or being overly picky. It's about being intentional. It's about choosing wisely. And I always like to leave you with a little reminder and introspection homework. Are you becoming the kind of person that the person you are looking for would also be looking for? Just something to think about. I also want to go back to the original video and look through some of the comments just to see what other girlies are saying. I'm curious. At the time of looking at this now, it has 16.5 thousand likes and 142 thousand views. It definitely didn't go crazy viral, but it was just a different perspective than I've seen on this topic. I mean, I thought it would be helpful to share. But anyway, down to the comment section. Someone said, I'm rare to find too. Truth. Someone said, settle when you know you have the best, not when you think you can't find better. Again, I can completely see the truth in that. I just think sometimes that gets people stuck in a, I have to find something better, grass is always greener type of mindset, which I don't necessarily think is healthy either. So. I've learned it's so important to have an abundance over a scarcity mindset. I was dumped by a guy from Bumble and the way he did it, ironically, made me believe there were good men out there. Huh. It's the monster you know is better than the monster you don't know mindset that so many women have. Thank you for sharing this. It's such a negative mindset and it's like, what does that mindset do for you? In order for a solution to happen, you have to believe it to engage in it enough, meaning finding a good man means you have to be a good woman and not let emotions or high expectations get the best of you. Okay. Good comment. Again, I think so many people approach dating with this, all men suck. I'm never going to find a good man. All the good ones are taken. And if that's your mindset going into it, that's what you will be confronted with. You know, your mindset becomes your reality, um, whether we like that or not. And I think it's important to go in with an open mind, being positive the same way I would give you guys that advice too. There are good women out there. I know so many of them. One of my really good girlfriends is single. She is the sweetest, cutest, just most adorable thing in the world. I cannot understand how she's single. She's truly a gem. And I know some of you will think, well, the exception is not the rule, but I know there are so many wonderful women out there who are single and hoping to find a great man too. So don't give up. Um, let's see. I'm going to read a few more. There's also plenty of men who just aren't a good fit for you and that's okay. Definitely knowing what's important to me has helped dating. Yes, that's another thing too. Just because someone is not good for you doesn't mean that they're automatically a bad person. And I think that's important to remember as well. Just because it didn't work out with you and someone else doesn't mean that that guy is the worst person on earth. The end is so real. I had that realization and left my ex of seven years. If you're dating someone for seven years and they haven't made you their wife yet, I mean, that's kind of a red flag in itself. Of course there's nuance. We have to remember that. But generally speaking, when I hear people have been dating for seven, eight, nine years and the guy has made no effort to move the relationship forward, if that's what the girl wants too, it's always like, what, what are we doing? Love this take, needed to be said, agreed, beautifully said, you're so wonderful, seriously. She did have a very lovely energy in this video. I think that's what drew me to it as well. She just seemed very positive and just lovely. I just think she's lovely. She's obviously beautiful too. Some guy said, I've had good men. Yeah, I think you might be the problem. She said, I said, I've had a good man. I was in a beautiful relationship for many years. I don't know what your issue is. See how people will see something and then comment something so nasty that just is an assumption. We don't need to do that. Let's be kind. What you put out into the world is what you get. I'm a firm believer in that. So maybe be nice today, but all right guys, that's all I have for this video. If you liked it or found it helpful, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content. If you see a TikTok or other video that you would want me to react to, please send it my way. I love getting content directly from you guys and giving you the reactions that you want to see. If you haven't already, be sure to follow me over on Instagram at CourtneyChristineRyan. I love connecting with all of you guys over on there as well. As always, thank you all so much for watching and I will see you all next time.