Single Mom Issues That Keep High-Value Men Away!

Okay, so dating single mothers is a contentious topic that often triggers strong emotions in men and women. However, for the sake of the children, single mom issues that keep high value men away must be discussed. So whether you're a single man or a single mom, this video will reveal the real challenges men face when dating single mothers so you can make informed choices in your dating life. Men can decide if it's worth it to date a single mother or if it's better to bow out and let someone more suited to stepdadhood step in the role. Women will understand men's concerns and save yourselves and your child the emotional turmoil of being with a man not suited for stepfatherhood. If you're new to my channel, my name is Anna Jorgensen. I help men decode modern women so you can find, attract, and keep your keeper or simply have better relationships with women. Welcome to Just The Tip. First, what is a high value man? Well, for the purpose of my videos, a high value mate, man or woman, is someone with the most desirable mate qualities, whatever they may be for you. There are already comments from men who haven't watched the video yet saying, don't do it. However, there are five reasons some men do dates or marry single moms, and I'll share that later. But in the meantime, can you guess what they are? Comment. So while you are racking your noggins on that, let's review some of the single mom issues that keep high value men away. One, divided attention. If she's worth her weight in salt, a mom prioritizes her dependent kids. However, that can be a deal breaker for high value men because for him, it means limited time and attention for the relationship. Single moms must realize some high value men prefer a more flexible lifestyle without the added obligations of parenting someone else's children. Example, a man wants to spend time with his lady, but she has to attend a bunch of school functions or other kid related activities or unexpected trips to the ER. Gentlemen, if this is not exactly the carefree dating life or life you're envisioning, you may not be cut out to date a single mom. Ladies, the higher a man's universal desirability, the more options he has, including women without children, you need to be able to schedule time to make him your priority sometimes and never take for granted anything he directly or indirectly does for your kids. He's there because of you, not them. Two, unruly kids. Kids with no discipline. We've all heard the squealers in the grocery store. Some of us have even whispered, Taser. The fact is, bratty kids are a turnoff, even if they're yours, but when they're not, it can feel intolerable. When children's parents break up or if there were never two parents at home to begin with, kids may seek attention however they can get it and may resort to bad behavior if mom and dad is too busy, stressed, or absent to pay attention to good behavior. My sister was a foster mom for over 30 years to the highest level of kids in the system. They weren't her own kids. Example, after a string of negative remarks on a teen's behavior in his evaluation report, he finally receives a minor acknowledgement of improvement in the next one. Mom doesn't notice because she's being extra busy dating you. The kid resents you stealing the attention he craves from his mom and when you show up to pick her up for a date and ask how he's doing, he's sullen and mumbles something rude and stomps out slamming the door to his room. You can't do a darn thing about it. You can see why in his book, When Men Behave Badly, David Buss notes that stepkids are up to 100 times more likely to die from abuse than children in biological two-parent households. Gentlemen, if you don't want the stress and conflict that comes with someone else's unruly children who don't respect you, think twice before dating a single mom. Ladies, know that when a man is limited in his ability to provide healthy masculine discipline because you won't allow it, he will think twice. Three, special needs children. Sometimes even the sweetest child can require extra energy and attention because they have physical or mental challenges. No matter how empathetic a man may feel toward mother or child, parenting a special needs kid adds layers of responsibility and care, sometimes forever after. Example, my mom was a caregiver for live-in adults with high level developmental difficulties. That's probably part of why, hi, I have a quirky sense of humor. My dad died, my mom was single for a long time, but when she eventually met a man she considered dating, she invited him to our home a so he could experience firsthand what her life taking care of special needs adults was actually like. Gentlemen, if a single mom has a special needs child of any age, parenting that child may be a lifelong endeavor requiring a lot of love and patience. Ladies, don't hide your special needs child from a potential suitor or downplay the responsibilities or emotional toil that can take sometimes. You're better to find out sooner than later if he's up for it or not. I think we're on four. Time constraints. Single moms have packed schedules thanks to parenting and work, and if she's not working and financially independent, there are other considerations. Example, trying to plan a weekend getaway but getting delayed because she's tied up with kids activities and Gentlemen, if you see the inevitable time constraints and potential lack of quality time being alone with a single mom as a roadblock, know that it's not going to get easier unless you both agree to cut back on other time-consuming activities like career or sleep. Not good. Ladies, you know how tough it is juggling so many responsibilities, many of which involve your kids. If you want a man to join you in taking on some of your to-do lists, make sure you're giving back way more than a woman without children would be because that's his other option. Five, limited social life. Being a single parent often means a limited social life or socializing with other parents and their children. Gone are the carefree days of popping out to the pub with friends or catching a concert last minute. Your childless friends can only handle so much parent talk and joyous laughter of little ones. Life is different when you have kids. Example, welcome to a world of noisy playdates and backyard jumping gyms with squealing squealers youthful exuberance. This is your new Saturday night life. Gentlemen, if you prefer a woman who can spontaneously join you in a carefree social activity and blend into your social world, a single mom is probably not your best bet. Ladies, if you're always tied up with your kids, it can feel like a barrier to a dynamic relationship for some men. Choose wisely and don't try to convert wildly. Six, financial independence or rather dependence. This one is major for most men without children. Most men do not want to rear another man's child or pay for it. Example, you're financially independent and getting close to retirement or maybe in retirement with a fixed income and meet a single hard-working mom with great kids and no dad in the picture. Maybe he died like mine did. Mom is working around the clock to make a good life for her kids but that doesn't leave a lot of time for you. Do you chip in financially so she can work less and spend more time with you? Only you can decide that. For the sake of their kids, good single moms need a financial stability in a man. Gentlemen, a single mom's financial strain or reliance on child support can be a red flag if you have other dating options. Ladies, if you're looking for a man who can pull his weight financially or add financial value to your household, offer something extra he can't get elsewhere. Seven, I think, emotional baggage. If the father of her child died honorably or accidentally, there will still be emotional baggage. And if the father didn't die, there will be even more because most emotionally healthy single moms feel some level of guilt about sending their kid's dad packing or if he left himself. However, if she's not emotionally stable, that's even worse because there's going to be drama on the horizon. Example, you're dating a woman who lets her ex change weekend custody plans last minute, leaving your plans to fall by the wayside. When you try to discuss it, she bursts into tears, calling you selfish and suggests breaking up one more time. Gentlemen, if you want a woman who's mostly healed because we all have wounds and ready for a stable relationship, not one grappling with past demons, make sure she's dealt with the issues surrounding her being a single mom. Ladies, good men have good options. Make sure you're one of them by dealing with any of your unresolved issues from past relationships and breakups. All right, I think we're on eight. Baby daddy drama. If baby daddy is in the picture, there can be ongoing drama and added stress. Baby daddy might fight for custody, leading to unwanted illegal costs and court cases, or he may want to get back with his baby mama, creating a toxic dynamic between you and the Example, you meet a single mom, still bitter from a nasty divorce, who punishes her ex by randomly withholding child custody. When you point out how unhealthy that is for the children, and inconvenient for the both of you, she has an emotional outburst saying, you can't understand, you don't have kids. Gentlemen, stress with her ex is something you must consider if she's a single mom with her kid's dad in the picture. Ladies, high value men don't want to get dragged into conflicts with your ex. Minimize that maximumly. Nine, trust issues. On the other hand, if the relationship with her ex is amicable, there could be concerns about her having an affair with her children's father. Example, for the sake of the children, they still have family dinners together, but you're not invited. You notice she communicates with him pretty regularly about personal matters and her problems that don't involve the kids and avoids sharing the details with you. Or you may wonder if the ex is getting sex in exchange for child support. Gentlemen, when it comes to trust, everyone has their own bag of issues, but single moms have extra baggage she shares with her children's father or fathers. Ladies, trust is key and the possibility of romantic or financial entanglement with your ex creates insecurity and uncertainty. You can't build a stable, trusting partnership when there's reason for his fears of betrayal. Make him feel safe. Now some of you are saying, um, Anna, why on earth would any highly desirable man sign up for a single mom when he has so many other options? Well, first of all, supply and demand. Even if he is in high demand, the supply where he lives may be limited and he may not feel like shopping out of town. Just before I share the other reasons why some men, some men choose to date single moms, if you have found value in this video, please give it a like and consider subscribing. Thank you if you have. All right, so now why do some men consider dating single moms? Well, one, higher mate value minus the kids. If she's way hotter than him or would have a higher mate value by whatever metric he deems important if she doesn't have kids. Example, all things being equal, he's a six in the looks department and she's a nine. Two, low status. If he's low status by his cultural or societal standards, whether because of his income, job, looks, prestige, or whatever, he may not feel able to attract a woman if he finds attractive unless she already has kids. Example, a guy working a minimum wage job might find single moms are the only women who give him Three, low self-esteem. A man with his own unresolved baggage who believes he's lower status, even if false, may not think he can attract someone without kids. Example, he grew up with a narcissistic mother who belittled him and a spineless father who didn't object to her callous treatment. The son grows up believing he's worthless and when a seemingly kind single mom gives him the green light, he jumps at the chance feeling lucky. Older man market. Maybe he's at an age when many available single women have children. For a man in his 20s, plenty of women don't have children yet, but if he's in his 60s or 50s or 70s, many women will have kids, possibly grandchildren. Example, a 55 year old man might find most women his age have grown kids, but even though the kids are independent and don't affect the relationship very much, he's attracted to younger women, many of whom do have dependent children. He has his own children. Some men who already have children of their own or grandchildren and share custody of them with the mother don't mind dating a mom or single mom with children as well. Example, a divorced dad with joint custody may see dating a single mom as a practical choice. She understands the co-parenting game so they can blend their families more smoothly. Regardless whether you're a man or a woman with or without rugrats, the more you can increase your relationship market value, the more options you'll have. Now just make sure you're increasing your market value for you. Never change solely for someone else. When you embark on making changes in your life, for your life, always ensure you're doing it first and foremost for you and your kids. Thanks so much for being here, for watching to the end. That really helps my channel. As you know, I don't accept sponsorships. Now I'd like to know from you if you have ever dated a single mom and what happened? What did you learn from that experience? Try to be kind. Lots of love. God bless.