This Is Why So Many People Are Chronically Single

Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel. I'm Courtney Ryan and today we're going to be reacting to a TikTok. This video is from a creator with the handle Kiara King. I'm pretty sure that's how you pronounce it. And the text at the top of the screen says POV trying to date nowadays. So we're going to watch it all the way through and then reconvene and I will tell you what I think. I had a really good time getting to know you and I'd love to see you again. Same, I would love to see you again, you know. Yeah, so like when should we see each other? Um, when, when should we see each other again? Um, yeah. Yeah. Um, when, sorry, when, when would we see each other again? I'd like to see you again. Yeah, I'd love to see you too, yeah. Do you want to see a picture of my dog? No, I don't want to see a picture of your dog! You know, the first thing that comes to mind after watching this is that dating today is tough. We've all heard it. Maybe a lot of you have felt it. Um, and one thing that keeps coming up is this idea that nobody can make plans, commit to plans or commit to another person. And honestly, I think that's a conversation worth having because it is affecting so many people. That's obviously what this little skit here is about. I think this video perfectly captures what dating feels like for a lot of people these days. You know, although it's a little skit and it's funny, I think for a lot of you it will be painfully relatable. And if you've been out there trying to date, it might hit just a little bit too close to home. So let's talk about it. You know, maybe at the end of a date, you're hopeful, you're confident, and you ask the simple question, when can I see you again? I would like to see you again. And instead of answering, the other person maybe completely dodges the question, leaves it very vague, doesn't give you an answer, which then probably leaves you feeling confused and disappointed. I would love to know how many of you watching have been in this exact situation before. You go out on a great date, you put yourself out there, and suddenly the idea of making plans feels like pulling teeth. And what feels like should be a simple, exciting moment turns out to be not so simple or exciting. And like I said, maybe a lot of you don't even make it to the first date and you're just simply messaging back and forth and having the same issue. This is something that I hear so often from you guys, which is why I wanted to show this video. This scenario highlights a huge problem in modern dating today that nobody wants to commit to anything, whether that be plans, people, or even a basic follow-through. So let's start with the first issue here, and that is making plans. This should be the easiest part of dating, right? But instead, we've entered this culture of maybe. You know the type, the vague, let's see how the week goes, or the classic, I'll let you know. That non-committal energy doesn't just make dating frustrating, it makes people feel like you actually don't want to go out with them at all. The whole concept of making plans isn't just practical and completely necessary, it's also respectful. It says to the other person that I value your time and I'm excited to see you. When someone is avoiding locking something down, it feels like they're waiting for something better to come along, and a lot of the times this is actually the case, which it really stinks. There's always this grass is greener, always another option mindset, which I think the illusion or feeling that there are endless options out there or the grass is greener somewhere else have really negatively impacted dating. There's another issue here, and I think something that this video was intending to highlight, and that is that many men today are not taking the initiative to make plans at all. Now I know some of you watching do, and I don't want to undermine that. I know some of you try so hard, and I can give you so much credit there, but let's be real, there are a ton of guys who don't want to put in the time or the effort to just plan a date. Many of you have expressed this frustration to me as well in terms of trying to make plans with women and them not responding well when you try to make plans, so that's that's not really what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the men who are not even trying to make a plan, and I think there are some pretty obvious reasons why this is happening. Maybe you've had bad experiences in the past, maybe you're burned out from dating fatigue, or you're feeling discouraged after things didn't work out with someone else. I get it, but because of the fact that my audience is mostly men, I feel like I need to do you a solid and just tell you, if you are interested in someone, I do think you at least need to try to take initiative and make a plan. If you enjoyed the date and you want to see her again, say something. Don't make her chase you down. Taking the initiative isn't just attractive, it's respectful, and it's going to show confidence and that you value her time, and I think that effort really goes a long way, especially in a sea of guys who are not willing to put in any time, effort, or energy into planning a date. Now, I also want to dig a little bit deeper here and talk about the struggle in general to commit to another person. This one hits hard because dating today often feels like a buffet. There are endless options and people are terrified of choosing one, and a lot of this goes back to, well, what if there's something better? It's that grass is greener mindset that I mentioned earlier. This is what is called the paradox of choice. The more options we have, the harder it is to commit. Dating apps make this even worse because there's always another profile to swipe on. I think that has definitely played a role in the dating frustration today as well, but I think it's important to note that real connections take time. You cannot microwave a relationship. You need to invest in it, nurture it, and yes, commit to it, and that includes committing to putting in the time, effort, and energy that is required to just plan a date. I think a lot of this also comes down to fear, whether it be a fear of rejection, a fear of making the wrong choice, and most of all, a fear of opening up, a fear of being vulnerable. I know a lot of you hate that word, but I think it's relevant to use here. Now, I say all this because I think if we want to change the game of dating, it starts with being intentional. Make plans, show up, put in the effort to connect with someone, and stop treating dating like an endless menu of options, and focus on quality over quantity. I will also tell you another thing that this video made me think of that I wanted to make all of you aware of, and that is when someone tells you that they want to do something, they say it, but their actions show otherwise. I think it's better to just watch the actions and not what they're actually saying to you, because if someone genuinely wanted to go out with you, they should want to make plans with you. It's not just going to be something that they're saying, they're going to be doing it. You know, if someone wants to see you and make plans with you, they need to be willing to put in the time, and effort, and energy that is required to do so, and they need to make it a priority, right? And I know in the beginning stages of dating, it can be hard to make someone a priority that you're just seeing, but at the same time, I think if you want anything to grow from that connection, you have to put in the time to see if it gets there. You know, ultimately, if being in a relationship is a priority to you, then you need to make dating a priority, and you need to make meeting people a priority. You're not just going to end up in this healthy relationship having not made any of those other things a priority as well. But if I told someone that I had a great time on a date, and I would love to see them again, and I asked them when I could see them again, and they never gave me an answer, and never tried to set anything up with me, I would just assume that they don't like me that much, because if they did, they would want to make plans to see me again. I think a lot of the time, people will tell you in the moment what is easiest, or what you want to hear to avoid any sort of conflict or tough conversation. I think that's why a lot of people ghost as well, because they just don't want to have that tough conversation of telling you that they're not actually interested, when in reality, I think it would just be a lot easier if people were honest and said, you know, hey, it was great to meet you, but I don't see this going anywhere, or I would not like to move this forward. I would not like to see you again. Of course, there's a nice way to say it, but I think that would just make things easier for everyone. But all that to say, actions speak louder than words, and if someone is telling you something, but their actions are proving otherwise, then we should maybe stop listening to what they're saying. I would sort of operate in the they will make it happen. They won't just say they want to make it happen. So that is just something to think about. And guys, if you're watching, I do think it is incredibly attractive when you take initiative and plan a date. If a girl tells you, I had a great time, and I would love to see you again, when can I see you again, and you genuinely want to see her again, make the plan. Pull out your phone, look at your schedule, and say, oh, I'm free next Saturday, do you want to go to that brunch spot that we were talking about? It is that simple, and if you don't want to see her again, don't tell her that you want to see her again. And the same goes for women. If you don't want to see a guy again, don't tell him that you do. We need to stop wasting people's time, and we need to be intentional. So let me know what you guys think. If you like this video or found it helpful, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content. Again, I know this video is very different than anything that I've ever reacted to, but I thought it was a little bit more of a lighthearted, refreshing way to talk about a bigger issue that's currently happening within the dating landscape. As far as I know, I've never reacted to a sort of skit video before, but I thought a lot of you guys would be able to relate to that, and I would love to hear down in the comments if you do. I would love to hear what you think, why you think dating feels so hard today, what do you think we can do to fix it. I would just love to get a productive conversation going down in the comments. So let's start the conversation and hopefully make dating a little less complicated for everyone who clicks on this video. If you haven't already, be sure to follow me over on Instagram at CourtneyChristineRyan. I love connecting with you guys over on there as well. As always, thank you all so much for watching, and I will see you all next time.