The Worst & Best First Dates According To Women

Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel. I'm Courtney Ryan and today I've brought together a group of six lovely women to share their perspectives on the best and worst first date ideas. Now I've shared my thoughts on this topic before, most recently in my first date tier list video, but I thought it'd be even more helpful for you to hear directly from some other women as well. So let's find out which first date ideas they absolutely love and which ones they are not so crazy about. So now I'm going to give you a list of different first dates and you have to tell me if it's a good date or a bad date and share a little bit of why. You don't need to give like a super long explanation but just a little bit so so guys can understand would be helpful. Okay. So the first one is a coffee date. I would love a coffee date. I think it's a good kind of easing you in to getting to know each other, especially if you don't know each other at all going into it. I would definitely enjoy a coffee day as a first date. Yes, I would. I would love that. I love coffee. So well, I'm not a coffee drinker so I don't really think I have a good opinion on that. I wouldn't want to go but I feel like it would be a good first date to like kind of sit down, get to know the person, just have like a chill kind of calming environment. Oh, I love that. Yeah, that's so cute. And plenty of time to get to know each other in a public but more quiet setting. I think coffee is a great experience. I think it's sort of that go-to that people are used to saying, hey, would you like to get coffee for a first date? I don't really think there's any problem with it. I think that it's a really great and safe option. It's fine. Coffee date, it's fine. If that's not in the house, if that's that coffee shop, fine, totally fine. But yeah. Does the type of coffee shop matter like Starbucks versus like a cute local coffee shop? Do you have a preference? I like more cute coffee shops. Like I like Starbucks but I do not prefer that because Starbucks it's like kind of classic. I don't know in that day. Like basic. Yeah, so we have a lot of place over here so where we can go. So, I mean, it's not really matter, I guess. But for me personally, I would choose to go cutest place. Let's say the guy that was asking me to go to coffee found maybe a local one that was a little more hidden or unique as compared to a Starbucks. I would probably see that intentionality behind it and appreciate it. But then again, I'm still probably going to value the overall experience rather than where it's at. But I think that can say a lot too. I would prefer local. Yeah, like mom and pop. Definitely. Even though I don't drink coffee, I would kind of encourage doing the kind of small, not as well-known coffee shop because I feel like it's more of an intimate experience rather than Starbucks because, you know, a lot of people go to Starbucks. I feel like it's just like kind of too well-known. I'm not super picky, but I always prefer local coffee shops in general. So I think that's more quaint and I don't know, they always have a better vibe than Starbucks. Starbucks feels like corporate. I don't think it really matters, but more local shops is a lot better just for the vibes and it's a little bit more quiet. Okay, next one is a walk. I think a walk is fine. I have done this for a date before. We went hiking. Personally, as a woman, I don't know if I would want to go on a hike with a guy just because I'm a little bit more isolated. I prefer to be more in public when it comes to a first date, maybe later on as compared to a first, just to feel a little bit more comfortable. It depends where and the time of day and how well-populated the area could be. So you're thinking about a safety plan here? Yeah, I wouldn't go on a walk in the woods with someone I just met. That just sounds dangerous. So it should be like a public type setting? Yes. No walks. No. What is your reasoning? First of all, because if we are in America, no personal walks in the parks or forests. Totally not. Why? Because it's kind of dangerous and I want to stick into one place and if something will go wrong, I could send the message for whatever, somebody. So no walks. I can't even imagine I would go somewhere with a man, walk, park my car and like, depends where the walk is. Okay. So what would be an example of one that you'd be okay with versus maybe not? Okay with somewhere public where people are going to be around. That's actually the date, but I did not go on the first date because they were like, let's go on a hike where there's no one and not bring our phones. And I was like, are you going to kidnap me? So I would not do it. I do love a good walk. It just depends where, like I said, if it's in an open park, I think that can be really cute. I don't know about that one. I don't think I would kind of categorize that as a first date. I feel like that would be like, if you've been dating the person a while and just want to go on just like a cute little walk. I don't really know if it's the best idea for a first date. Especially standalone. Do you think it would be better if you combined it with something else? Yeah. If you like did something and then went on a walk, like want to eat food and then went on a walk. I feel like that would be a little bit better. What about the movies? The movies aren't amazing for a first date for maybe a second or a third. It can be fun, especially if you talked about liking movies on the first date, but there's not really enough time to get to know each other. I don't know if I would do it for a first date, but like as a date in the future, it would be really fun. I would like that. But as a first date, I think, I don't know. I want to get to know you. I want to talk to you. I want to know everything about you. And so in the movie, yeah, you're sitting there in silence. So it's a little. I think the movies are fun. Probably not for a first date just because I'm watching a screen and I'm not getting to know the person. What's the point of going on a date if we're not even going to talk? I think that's a good first date idea. But I feel like with that one, too, you have to pair it with something because I feel like just going to the movies, you can't really talk to the person or like get to know them while watching the movie. So I feel like if you like went to eat and then saw a movie, it'd be a little bit better. But yeah, I think that's a pretty good first date idea. But just the movies by itself, you'd probably say no. Yeah. Okay. I wouldn't be opposed to it, but I don't think it's a good first date because you can't really get to know each other. You're just sitting there watching the movie. I think that's a better spending time together date once you already know each other. I must say no, because it's kind of level of intimacy. So and you're like already up to person and you know, but like you're literally going to sit with a stranger like near to you and eat popcorn. I don't know. It's not something like really about the first date for my taste. The next one is their house. No. No, I've never been suggested that before. What would you what would you think if someone asked you to come over to their house for the first date? Um, I would just assume it's like a booty call. Yeah, I just wouldn't do it. No. No, that's really scary. No, I would personally would never go to the house on a first date. I'm not sure if I would go on a second date in the house or third date. No, like to cringe for me and it's too dangerous, honestly. And what would you think if a guy asked you over to their house for a first date? Honestly, I would think he's irresponsible, immature and creeper. I would not want to do that. I think it sends the wrong connotation. If you're wanting to date to get to know somebody, I would perceive that as if someone were to invite me over to their house. I would just think that they are having ulterior motives, potentially. I think it would depend how well I knew the person. If I had just met them on a dating app and they're like, hey, come over, I'd be like, let's maybe go in public first. But if I knew them maybe through a mutual friend or something like that, then I would be open to going to their house. I feel like that's a little iffy. Yeah, because you don't really, especially if it's a first date, you don't really know the person. You're not going to really know kind of what their intentions are or anything like that. So I feel like that wouldn't be the best idea. I would just play it safe and go somewhere. Hey, what about a formal meal? So like a fancy meal? Yeah. You mean some places, restaurants or something like that? Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Yes. I would love that. I think that would be fun. I like going on fancy dates. I do like that. It's fun to get dressed up for a first date and look your best. And especially if they're paying, it can be nice to get a meal. I think that's a pretty good idea. I think that's great. I think for the first date, sometimes that can feel like a lot of pressure. I think the coffee date is a great idea. It kind of removes that barrier. I think it can be a great first date. It really is just going to depend on the interactions leading up to that date. But I wouldn't be opposed to it. And what about an informal meal? Not like a fast food, but like something not so fancy, but still like a cute place. I would like that. Yeah. Would you have a preference between like the really fancy meal versus more of an informal? I would prefer more of an informal as a first date. I think that can be good as well. If you had to choose between the two, would you pick a formal or informal? I personally would pick informal because I feel like formal would be a little too intimidating for some people. Just in my opinion, I'd want to have a more low key down to earth kind of date. Yeah, I think those can be fun to be more relaxed. And I feel like you can be more yourself when it's more informal. Yeah, it's also calm. Yeah. Because it's a first date, you're not like, you're not supposed to like literally like make shock with a first date or we are going fancy. I mean, it's just up to how much guy make money and if he's not available to like bring you to the really like fancy places and just some, I don't know, Mexican food or something like it's fine. Would you prefer the formal or the informal meal? If you had to pick one. For the take the pressure out, I would prefer informal. I don't think it's as impressive, I guess, as a first date, but I guess I wouldn't, I wouldn't be opposed to that either. Like I said, I'm not super picky, but I wouldn't choose it if somebody asked me. I think that's great. I think it's similar to coffee in the sense that you can show up and feel like you have to be less put together. I think with the formal meal, it feels like you have to be super prim and proper. And I think sometimes that inhibits your personality to come out. At least for me, sometimes I feel like I have to fit into a box at a formal dinner. And again, that might just be me and how I view it. But I lot of people see coffee or maybe more of meals that are less formal to your point. I think that probably is more relaxing and allowing for your personality to come out in that type of setting. What about a family function? Again, keep in mind for a first date. No way. That would be way too much for everybody. No. Too fast. Would that kind of freak you out if someone asked you that? Yeah, it would be a little bit. It's like, okay, meet my family on the first date. That's a step in the relationship, I'd say. I think it would be good if you really know the person to go and meet their family and stuff like that. But I feel like for the first date, it's not the best idea. I think if someone invites you over to a family function, I think it says that I don't think that is bad. I think even if it was early on, if they are comfortable bringing you around your family, and then me as the person that if I was getting invited to go to something like that, I don't think I would feel uncomfortable going to something like that. If they were giving me cold, like if I was getting cold feet and they were acting too fast, maybe love bombing me, I probably wouldn't want to go over. But if they really were big into their family, which is something I really value, and they wanted to have me over, I think that's really sweet. No, I would not. Why? Oh my god. There are so many reasons why. I wouldn't bring somebody I just met to one of my family functions. So I think that's why. I think there would just be a lot of like, who is this person? How do you, how do you, what do you mean you just met them and now they're here? Like, I don't know, it'd be very, that'd be controversial. A little bit. Kind of awkward. Yeah, awkward. Just like, as a first date. Why? Why would anyone want that? No. No. Uh, never. What about a group date or like a friend type of gathering? On a first date? No. Not at all. Never. And what is your reasoning for that? I rarely probably could see the person if somebody will be in our date. Like, I don't know, it's probably a sub for the age. Great, you know what I'm saying? Like, if you're like 16 and you're like, whatever, or 15, somebody asking you like, same age to go out as a friend, it's fine. But if like, you're 20 and more, yeah, I would feel the same way. I think it's just not a date at that point. Maybe not. I think sometimes even group dates can remove a lot of that pressure, especially if you don't know the person as well. Maybe, like, at least for me, I know that if I were to go on a double date, you can still have the opportunity to get to know the person because it's expected that you are going together on the date. As compared to like a family function, you're not really on a date, you're talking to family members. I think that would be different for me. Um, no, I think friend gatherings are pretty okay. I think they're good. Yes, that would be fun. Like bowling or like anything group wise. You can do anything. You can go for a group walk and you would be safe. That's true. It probably would make you feel a lot safer. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like double dates can be fun. And maybe sometimes if it's like the friend's introducing you to the person, that's kind of almost like a blind date or maybe you knew about it. So I think that could be fun. What about a guided exhibit? Something like a museum, an aquarium, something that kind of guides you through. Yeah, I think that'd be a good first date. I think that's amazing because there is a lot of time to get to know each other and walk around and there's a lot of conversation starters in that place. That would be fun. I love that kind of stuff. I love the art museum. I think it provokes a lot of questions and conversations. And I think as compared to like a movie theater where you are just locked in and you can't really talk in the theater, a lot of those guided exhibits, you are allowed to talk throughout it. And I think it can create for really good conversation. And I would definitely do that on a first date. I think that's really fun because you're kind of like bonding and you're having an experience together. Yeah, that's cool. For me, it's cool. Personally, for me, can talk with a person. You can kill two rabbits. You can hear my opinion, listen to my opinion, he can tell you about something. Yeah, absolutely. What about drinks, like a bar or winery? I think that could be good too. I don't think that's bad. It's kind of similar to a coffee shop if it's a quiet bar, if it's like a club. No. So no clubs. No clubs. I don't prefer that on a first date. I think that it's better to stay away from alcohol on the first date just because that can lead to some like weird things. I think as long as the noise level isn't too loud and it's a calmer environment, I would be very inclined to do that for a first date because I'll be able to still hear the person and get to know them. If we go to a bar and it's very loud, again, I will feel like I can't really hear the person and that's why I want to go on the date to get to know them. Yeah, it's fine if you're drinking. If you're not drinking, I would say no. I have said no. Like I wouldn't do that. Yeah. What are your reasons why? I just don't like to sit in a dirty bar. I don't like the way it smells in there and I don't like alcohol. I think it burns and it's expensive and I think people get out of control when they drink. Yeah. So I'm just, it's not for me. Okay, what about hiking? No. No. Especially if it's an evening hike. No way. Again, that's for safety reasons. Yeah, for safety reasons. Yeah, I feel like getting to know the person a little bit before going on a hike would probably be better. I think that's kind of similar to the walk. Like if it's relatively populated, maybe. Like I think I've gone on first dates on a hike where I knew the person a little bit more, but then the other one was where I was like, I don't know you, I'm not going on a hike with you. So you're thinking about your safety. Yes, safety. Exactly. No. No. No hiking on first dates. Safety. Absolutely. And like, it's not the best because like, if you're going hiking, you will be sweating. You'll be in leggings. You will be barely can talk because if I'm going hiking, I'm going hiking. I'm not going like talking or like having a first date. I mean, okay. Yeah, you'll be out of breath. Yeah. Probably smell not the best. So it depends if we're meeting for the first time and let's say we're meeting on like an app, like you said, we're both on Tinder and we match over like hiking and we're talking about, oh, I hiked here and I hiked here. And like, you like relate on those things. I think I would, I would do that. Yeah. I think hiking is a great idea for a date. Um, but if I haven't known the person for a long time, I think it's common for people to go on dates with people they've known for a while. Maybe they've been in their friend group. Uh, they've known them through mutual friends. I would probably be okay with going on a hike and that sort of setting. But a lot of times now people are meeting people online and I think that's great, but I probably would feel less inclined if I knew less about the person to go on a hike because hiking tends to be a little bit more isolated. And I probably would want to be in public or more of a public setting for a first date. What about shopping? Oh, that's an interesting one. I think that would be comparable to an exhibit. Um, I probably wouldn't choose it. It might be kind of awkward for a first date. Um, but you never know. Depending on their personality, it could be fun. No, I don't really like that either. Just, I don't like the idea of spending a lot of money. And I feel like it's a more individualized, um, activity. I would go. I would go because if he needed, like, a woman's, like, perspective. Like, how does this look? How does this color look? Because, you know, men could walk out there looking like a toddler dressed them or something. So, I would go. Yeah, like, I would say yes if we're going to the mall. Like, in general, total, like, we're going to the mall. Yes, but I mean, like, not exactly to shopping. Like, if it's a public place, it's fine for me. I don't know. I don't know if that'd be the best first date because I don't really know. All the guys I know, they don't really like to go shopping. So, I feel like they'd be kind of, I don't know, they would not be very happy with that. I feel like they would just be, you know, kind of dreading it a little bit. Like, I feel like they just wouldn't really want to do that. I think shopping is fun. I wouldn't probably do that for a first date. I think it would give me the connotation that, uh, assuming that maybe the guy that I was going on the date with wanted to buy me things, I would feel as if maybe he didn't feel secure in his, his own person that, and what he had to offer. I think a lot of times today, society has this expectation on men, which is really sad that they have to do a bunch of things for the women and get all these material things. Um, and I think that they do have to show up and put in effort, but I think for a first date leading with that, um, I, I think it kind of takes away from the values and the shared experience. And it kind of gives this idea of, okay, if I buy you something, maybe, maybe I'm worthy of love. And I, I think that that is the message that would send. So I would want to avoid doing that for a first date. Do you think it would be weird if someone bought you something on a first date? Yes, I, I would, I would feel weird about it a little bit. Sometimes I think when men have bought things on first dates, it's been a little too much. Like this is like overcompensating, but if it's like at the fair, it's a little different. It's like, oh, that's cute. You want me a fish? Oh my God. So cute. I'll keep it forever. I don't know. I do think that's different than like going out and buying you an expensive bag on the first date. Yeah, that's a little, like, what are you hiding in that bag? And like, I don't know. I might say that would be a little weird for me, um, because I can't see the intention of like, why, why he would do that. I mean, for the, for me and a first date, it's too early. Like the flowers. Yes. It's could count, but, um, not something else. I don't know what he can buy them all that time. What about a sporting event? I feel like that'd be a good Yes. I love, I love like all the Indian teams, guardians. I love that. I would go to that. I would not prefer that. No, too loud. It kind of like same idea as a movie. I wouldn't want to, you're not really connecting as much. A sporting event. I think that's super fun. I, I think it is really, uh, low pressure, low stress. Um, I really enjoy sports. I think, you know, some women may not. Um, and I, I know stereotypically men tend to like sports more. I think it would just depend on the shared interest, but I think it could be a really fun environment. I don't like that either. I think it's too loud. Do you like sports or no? No. Yeah. Either that not a basketball game. Yeah. I mean like what's kind of sport or when it could be, um, maybe a baseball game, football, hockey. You said anything but basketball. I mean, I mean, I might say no. I changed my mind. No, not your style. No. What about live entertainment, like a comedy show or a concert? I, I would do a comedy show because I'm into that type of thing. But I think that for a first date, it maybe would not be the route. Maybe like a few dates in. Yeah. A few dates in. Cause then you're kind of doing something fun together. You have an idea of who each other are, but similar to a movie, like you're not really engaging with each other. And I feel like the utility of a first day is to get to know the person. Yeah. I think that'd be fun. Do you think that's better than the movies? Yeah. I feel like it's more interactive. I think it would be okay. I think it would be preferred as compared to the movie theater. But again, in those types of environments, I think it would be a little bit harder to get to know them. And I would probably want to do that on a second or third date. I would definitely go to the comedy show, but I would probably do not go to the, to the concert. Like for me, that's not something like I would like listen to Taylor Swift and having a first date. I would go to a comedy show for the first date and I would make us sit at the very first table, like right up close to the stage. I would be that girl, but not a concert. No, not for a first date. I want to like talk to you and like get to know you. Yeah. Maybe like if you paired that with something like a dinner or something like that, it could be a little bit better. Yeah. Like a dinner before the concert, that would be like a cool, like, Oh, quick, get to know you. And then we can go like have a lot of fun. That would be ideal. Yeah. I like that. That would be amazing if you go to dinner first. Yeah. So you have time combining it with something else. Yeah, for sure. And then lastly, what about the gym? The gym? I don't classify that as a first date. Yeah, I would do it because I got to see how, how you guys are working out in the gym. Some people look a little crazy. Like she's got to correct your form before she can agree for a second. I do. Yeah. Some crazy form out there. No, not me. I would not do that one. I don't know. It just would be kind of odd. I think it would be awkward. Kind of like shopping could potentially be awkward on a first date. If we like know each other, like, let's say from Instagram, and he would say, Oh, let's go wear a couch. I would say no. So if you meet at the gym, that can be different. But yeah, going to the gym for a first date is strange. Yeah. No, that does not sound like a date at all. Maybe if you're already dating, that'd be really cute. But as a first date, no way. I don't think that would be very fruitful to me wanting to get to know someone in that type of space. But I think for other people that may work, but I wouldn't want to do that for the first time. If you had to pick your top favorite out of all of them, what do you think would be your number one first date choice? Coffee shop. Because you don't have to like, I would not go to the first date like hungry, first of all, because like, I don't know if you're I would really like you and I would like to eat with you and sit with like evening. So the coffee, it's kind of like quick and you can touch. I mean, like can touch the atmosphere at the place was the person. So for me, like, that's the best place. I say the informal meal. So if a guy were to take you on a first date, where would you want to go? I would say like, not pansy foods, but just like foods that, you know, I don't know, kind of aren't so difficult to eat. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing too crazy, but yeah, I'd feel like a more calm kind of environment. I would say a simple coffee is just fine with me. I don't think you have to go all crazy with sports tickets and stuff like that. I think a simple coffee is good. Now the second date we can go definitely go tailgating. Like that'd be fun. I probably say the guided exhibit. Yeah. I think that is the perfect environment to have really fun conversation. You're walking around, you're not sitting in one place. I personally think that is a little bit more fun. I would say a coffee shop, because I think for me, the first on a first date, it's really important to know if I actually even want to spend more time with this person. So a coffee shop, you're able to low stakes, just kind of go out. No one's spending a ton of money and you can just sit down and talk and get to know each other and figure out if you're even interested in doing more expensive things or experiential things together. A guided exhibit. I think it's just more fun. It's an activity and I feel like sometimes on first dates, I don't really know what to do with my hands or myself. And in an exhibit, you can at least walk around. So which one of those would you absolutely not want to go to? Like least favorite of all time. Their house. For sure. Their house. Yeah. For their first date, definitely. Hiking. Okay. Hiking. And that's because you don't want to be sweaty, right? And also because it's kind of dangerous. Your house. Yeah, I would never go to a guy's house. I don't know. It's between their house and the gym. Just because I think going to the gym with your significant other would be a good option, but not as a first date. I feel like it's, I don't know, but their house also is a little sketchy. You know, if you don't really know the person that well, I wouldn't personally do that, but I would say family function probably. A family function. Yeah. That's so stressful. Especially for a first date. Like you want to get to know them, not their whole family. Yeah. Maybe, you know, after a few dates, that'd be great, but not for a first one. Alright guys, that's all I have for this video. As much as I enjoy sharing my own perspective with you, I believe it's also valuable to hear from some other women as well. Everyone has different preferences and opinions, and I think getting a variety of insights can give you a more well-rounded understanding. I hope this video gave you some useful takeaways and maybe even a new perspective. If you liked it or found it helpful, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to make sure you see the next one. Also, if you haven't already, be sure to follow me over on Instagram at CourtneyChristineRyan. I love connecting with you a little bit more one-on-one over there. As always, thank you all so much for watching, and I will see you all next time.