Looking through the Johari Window

Hi everybody, thanks again for joining me this evening. Tonight I'm going to be talking about the Johari Window. Johari Window, when I first heard it, I thought this was the most kind of exotic sort of mysterious thing I'd ever heard. I was expecting something really really deep and spiritual. So you can imagine my surprise when I found out that it was actually named after the two guys who came up with it, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingram. They came up with this psychological model and it helps people understand and improve their self-awareness and their interpersonal relationships. It's often used in group therapy, group dynamics, to help with interpersonal communication, helping people understand how they perceive themselves, how they perceive others and it's a good way of helping people to build on and develop their their self-awareness. So I'm going to get right to the point now. So the Johari Window, if you imagine a window with four panes of glass, and again this would be this would be useful if I had things like graphics and so on, but if you imagine a window with four panes of glass and those four panes of glass are different aspects of a person, of their personality, the different parts of them and so on and these different parts either get bigger or they shrink in different situations. So I'm going to go through the four different areas and I'm also going to look at how we can utilize this to again to build on our self-awareness, to help with our interactions with others. So the first pane is what's known as our open area. Sometimes it's known as our arena and that you could say that that's where we are at our most comfortable. This is where we are aware of certain aspects of our personality, our behaviours, our thoughts, our feelings and so on, but other people are aware of it as well. It's where we're at our most comfortable. We don't necessarily need to put up a front. There is information that is shared and that is it's openly shared and understood by ourselves and by the people that we interact with and it's really good for, if you will, for effective communication. It's generally easier whenever we're more comfortable with ourselves and indeed we're comfortable with the people that we're dealing with. Our next area, the second pane of glass, is what's known as our hidden area. Sometimes it's known as our facade. Now there's different ways of looking at that. The facade could perhaps be our professional face. It's who we are whenever we're in work. We behave a certain way. There are codes of conduct and so on. In other aspects, there's parts of us that we know about ourselves. There's our private thoughts, our emotions, our experiences. They're the things we don't necessarily share with other people and they may be hidden for various reasons. You know, just privacy or it could be out of fear of judgment, fear of rejection and so on, but as we become more comfortable with maybe the people we're dealing with, as trust develops, we might start to share more and more about ourselves. So if you will, the parts of us that are in our facade might go into that open area. It would start to increase again. The next part is our blind spots. Now this is the thing about our blind spots. By the very nature of them being a blind spot, we don't know they're there. We can't see them but other people can. Now other people might see something in us that we don't necessarily recognize. We might think that we are overly nervous or anxious or whatever. Someone else might just recognize we're cautious. We don't act rashly. We tend to think things through or we might see that we struggle with something. We might find something very difficult, but someone else, their perception of that would be maybe we lack confidence because what we're doing, you know, we're prepared to persevere. We're prepared to try. We're prepared to give it a go even if we're struggling. So because we're struggling, we think we're not so good at it, but other people say, other people would notice. Again, we have a courage. We have a level of confidence to at least try. There's different behaviors or habits as well. Things that we might not notice but other people do. For instance, we might do things a certain way. Which shoe do you put on first? We might just do it automatically, but someone notices we put maybe our right shoe on first every morning. So there's a lot of different things could be in our blind spots. Now the thing about our blind spots is, and I'm aware that a lot of people that watch my channel, they've been in situations with very toxic manipulative people. Sometimes you meet someone and they might tell you things about yourself that maybe you haven't even considered. You might think that it's a blind spot. People are saying, well, I've noticed this about you. Or they might say, other people say this about you. And we might start to believe that. We might think, well, that was in a blind spot. So we start to become more cautious, more aware. We start to watch out for ourselves. Are we really like that? So it's something to be mindful of that sometimes people can exploit that blind spot that we have in ourselves. But the more feedback we get from other people, talking about genuine feedback, by the way, it can help us with our personal growth. The stuff that was in our blind spot might come into our arena, our open area, because we become more aware. We become more aware that we have resilience. We have confidence in certain areas. We're also aware of the areas that we might struggle. We might become a bit more aware of why we're struggling as well. But the feedback, as I say, you get from other people, even if it's not genuine, by the way, by the way, if it's not genuine, we can pay attention whether or not there's actually any evidence for that, because sometimes all we're getting is an opinion or we're trying to get somebody who's trying to coerce us in a certain way. But the feedback that we do get when we take it on board, even if we perceive it to be negative, there can be something useful in being more aware of it because it can help us to moderate our behaviour. The last part is what's known as our unknown area. And the thing about the unknown, I was kind of confused at this at first, and I'll tell you what I mean, but the unknown part of us are the parts of us that no one else knows, but they're also the parts of us that we don't know either. When I wasn't certain about this, I asked the lecturer, the guy that was explaining this to us, to help me understand that. And the question he asked was, can you play the violin? So I said no. Then he asked, well, how do you know you're not the world's best violinist? Which is a fair point, because I don't know. I've never tried. I've never even lifted a violin, for what it's worth. I can't even play the triangle. There isn't a musical bone in my body, but it's a fair point. The things that we don't know about ourselves, but no one else knows either. Another way of looking at the unknown part of us is, if you look at the characters in stories, in movies, TV shows and books and so on, they often get what's known as a character arc. You might have somebody at the beginning of a story who maybe just has a job. They're a teacher, they're a hairdresser, they're a taxi driver or whatever it happens to be. And they have to go through some kind of adventure or whatever to get to the end of it. As they're going through the story, as the plot develops, there's different parts of them start to come out. Maybe things they weren't aware of. They're maybe braver than they thought. They have more skill than they thought. They have more ability to endure than they thought. So that's what I mean about the parts of us that are unknown. To learn about the parts of us that are unknown, I think takes a lot of self-reflection, introspection and sometimes paying a lot of attention to external feedback. I think, you know, in different kinds of therapy, by the way, for example, psychoanalytical therapy, we can learn things about ourselves that we weren't aware of. But gaining insight into those unknown parts of us, again, can lead to personal growth. When we get a better understanding of ourselves, we can get a good understanding of how we interact with the world around us, the relationship with ourselves, as well as the relationship with other people. And again, that can have a positive impact on our interactions with ourselves and with others. So if you think of that Johari window as being a very valuable tool in, first of all, developing our self-awareness, but also looking at how our interpersonal communication, self-awareness and personal development can develop. That was a very strange sentence. I hope you got what I was saying. It makes us become more aware of ourselves and it can help us in our interactions with other people. That's probably the better way I should have put it. We can get a deeper understanding of ourselves and a deeper understanding of sometimes how we interact with other people. For instance, someone might do something, say something that brings something up in us. Whatever it was that raised in us or triggered in us, whatever word you want to use, that might've been one of our blind spots. As we become more aware of that, that goes into our open area. We are much more aware of that. And we can either share that with the people that we feel comfortable with, or we can keep that to ourselves. It goes into our facade. Again, that kind of, our professional face is the best way I can put it. The face we have whenever we want to put on our best front. We want to be seen a certain way. So that's a very brief outline of the Johari window. Kind of whizzed through that very quickly. But let's have a look at how we can use it in order to build on our self-awareness. So first of all, to increase our open area. This might involve sharing more about ourselves with others, but I would emphasize people that we trust. We generally don't have to share it. There are some things private, by the way. We don't necessarily have to share everything with everybody. Only maybe little pieces at a time as trust begins to grow and so on. And as we do that, that open area starts to expand. We could be sharing our thoughts, our feelings, our experiences. But even as we're doing that, we're actively seeking feedback from the people that we're talking to because don't forget they may be drawing attention to certain things that were in our blind spot, things that we didn't know, things that we can take on board. Again, we can internally sort of negotiate them, accept them, reject them, or we can apply them in different areas. Being open to the feedback, by the way, can be important. And again, mindful of a lot of people that watch this channel. They've been in situations with people who are very toxic, selfish, manipulative, narcissistic. If you look at them, they're not necessarily open to feedback. They don't necessarily have any blind spots. They think they know everything about themselves. They don't have any unknown parts of them. They might claim that everything they do is open. Well, really what you're just getting is the facade, if you will. But being open to feedback, unlike them who might not necessarily be open to feedback, they might hear that as criticism. When we're willing to receive feedback, especially about our blind spots, this can help us to address any misconceptions or behaviors that might be causing misunderstandings and conflict. For instance, someone might be saying it's how we phrase something. Maybe the language you use, maybe our tonal voice. They would appreciate it if we spoke up. You know, we didn't look at our feet or maybe we lowered our voice, we didn't shout at them. These things can help us, as I say, to interact a lot better. So we can challenge ourselves, be open to new information, but also be open to challenging those who might try to exploit your blind spots, try to gaslight you is maybe a better way of putting it. Those who would try to rewrite your narrative, give a different version of whatever it is. Challenge them. There's different ways you can challenge. Sometimes ask the questions like, well, when did I do that? Why did I do that? I'm wondering how you're seeing it that way. You know, whatever. There's different ways you can phrase it. In developing relationships as well, we gradually reveal our hidden area, that facade part. As trust and rapport starts to develop in relationships, this is why I often say coming out of difficult, toxic relationships, sometimes one of the best ways to help ourselves is to form new relationships with other people. Good places to start are things like support groups, forums, things like that. And little pieces at a time, not just jumping in and sharing everything that we have, but as trust and rapport starts to develop, we start to consider sharing little bits and pieces more and more. This can help deepen connections and help build trust. But again, remember, we don't have to share everything, just little pieces, a little piece at a time, just as we start to feel comfortable. Sometimes as we start to feel comfortable, others start to feel comfortable. They might start to share things as well. Just like if they start sharing things and you get a sense that they trust you, you might start to do the same. Remember, it's a relationship. There's a minimum of two people in a relationship, so it's a minimum of two people that make it work. Group dynamics are the same. Little pieces of time, people start to become a little more comfortable and start to open up just a little bit more. Another way is exploring our unknown area. Now again, this is where maybe therapy can help with that. Engaging in self-reflection, personal development and discovering and understanding aspects of ourselves in that unknown area can lead to personal growth. Self-awareness, I often believe, is a very powerful thing because it will always give you a choice. A lot of the things we do, I believe, are automatic. They're unconscious, they're way back here somewhere. We do them without thinking and sometimes we do them and we say things like, see me, I always do that. With self-awareness, we can't really do that anymore because the next time we go to do something, we're doing it with awareness. Now we can continue to do whatever it is we're doing. We have a fair idea how it's going to end up and it could well be the best course of action. Or with that better sense of self-awareness, we can choose something different. Again, sometimes we can try something different, maybe stretch our comfort zone a little bit. Sometimes we can recognise we don't always have to engage. Sometimes we can disengage, we don't always have to give an answer. If we do give an answer, maybe we learn to be a bit more concise to the point. We don't over-explain ourselves, we don't over-share. So overall, Jahari Window can be a very valuable tool for enhancing our self-awareness, promoting effective communication and understanding the different dynamics, the different things that go on in our interpersonal relationships. That is a very brief, and I've been very quick tonight, going through this a lot quicker than I normally do, but that's a very brief outline of the Jahari Window. Remember those four parts, they shrink and they grow in different situations. Whenever we feel comfortable with someone, maybe our open area starts to increase. Whenever we have to put on, again, our professional face, our facade, whatever it is, that's going to start to become bigger. And it's not that there's anything wrong in there, it's just that there are things in there we don't want to share, maybe it's not appropriate to share. Some things are just private, some things are maybe none of anyone else's business. The blind spot, that part, there are things in there that none of us know. Again, by the very nature of it, it's blind spot, we can't see them. Other people can see them, just like you might be able to see things in other people that they might not recognize themselves. You might recognize someone as being very hard-working, they just consider themselves to just, they just keep on slogging on, whatever. The unknown part of us, again, are the parts that no one knows. We don't even know ourselves and sometimes we find them out. Sometimes we find, again, where our back is against the wall, we find out that we're maybe a bit more resourceful than we thought. We might find we're a bit more resilient than we thought. We might feel as if we're stuck, we might feel as if we've nowhere to go, we can't think of a way out of whatever it is or a way through it. But we haven't been paying attention to the fact that we're able to keep on keeping on. We're still able to function, we are maybe making new friends, we have maybe moved on, got a new job, we're learning new skills. If we're not paying attention to those things, again, sometimes we can be stuck. There's a lot of information you can find online about the jihari window. There's a lot of stuff that you can look at, again, people explain it better than I do. Pardon me. When you're aware of it, I often say about awareness, once you see something, you can't unsee it. When you're aware of it, it can be very, very helpful in your different interpersonal relationships and so on. So I'm going to have a look at some questions that have come up. I would say I've whizzed through this tonight. Never heard of the jihari window. Well, it's like I was saying at the beginning, I hadn't heard of it either. And when I had heard of it, I thought it was something really kind of mystical and so on. So as I say, it's really just named after the two guys that came up with it. But you think of the four aspects of us, the open part of us, the facade part of us, the hidden part of us, the unknown part of us and the blind spots. And it's, if you will, it's the dynamics between those how they increase and decrease in our different interactions with different people. Supposed to illustrate that with your friends, people you love, people who care about you, your open area is usually quite big. You feel safe, you feel comfortable with them. They may be critical, but they're not unkind. They can be honest with you, can take their feedback. But then our facade might increase, perhaps when we go into work or if we go on a first date with someone or we go into a situation, a new environment, we don't really know anybody, that's going to increase. So if you just think of it as that way, the dynamics between the four and how they increase and decrease in our different interactions. Coherent heart, I'm becoming such a human being because of what I'm going through involved human ways I never would have been inclined to change. I'm learning how to be coherent in my heart at all times. As I say, sometimes we have been through something and a lot of the time we focus on the pain, the regret and so on. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but that's all we do. Sometimes we become stuck. Sometimes we need to look at the other parts of us, the parts of it have grown, parts of us that are growing. Perhaps again, we're becoming more assertive, we're becoming more compassionate, but compassionate with boundaries. We might become a bit more courageous, a bit more confident. There are other aspects of us and we do change, hence sometimes just the very small things we don't pay attention to, like maybe our taste in music changes. Maybe we start to look at different things that we might not have been interested in before. So yeah, where are we going to now? Refreshing to learn how you're growing to Yeah, this is the thing, again paraphrasing one of my favourite Carls, Carl Young. He wasn't actually talking about this, he was talking about his dreams, but I paraphrase him. Just when we think we've got ourselves sorted, we haven't, because there's more to learn. There's always more to learn about ourselves and that's not a bad thing, I think that's a good thing. The more we learn about ourselves, the more empowered we become. Yeah, occasional blessings in disguise. It can be very easy to miss some of those small blessings in disguise. We'll see a lot of disappointment, pain, hurt, things like that. Again, I think it's human nature, we focus on our pain. We miss the little small victories. You think of the Johari window again, both the unknown and the blind spot. When something's unknown, it maybe goes into the blind spot, goes to the blind spot, goes to our open area. When we pay attention to those little small victories, those little small blessings, sometimes our open area starts to increase. But sometimes we need someone else to maybe point out those blind spots. We might have a huge disappointment, a huge regret over something, but someone is able to point out to us that it was maybe in our best interest that it didn't work out. I've mentioned this before about the fear of rejection. A lot of people pleasing, things like that, the things we do, it's this need to be accepted, this fear of being rejected. Sometimes we need someone else to point out to us, are they really the kind of people that you want to be accepted by? You're not looking at what they have or what they do or where they are. Looking at their character, you're looking at the type of person, but sometimes we miss that. And it can be useful to have people who are on our side, if you will, who are able to point that out, who are able to say things like that to us. Are they the type of person that you want to be accepted by? Once we accept that, once we acknowledge that, we accept that again, it comes from our blind spot into our open area. We can start to feel a little more comfortable about it. Sixth sense, need to learn to share less, oversharing, autism, ADHD. It's the thing, it's trying to get a balance, I think, between what we share and what we don't. I can't give you a definitive answer. It's trying to find a balance, I think, and it's like anything we try, sometimes we get it wrong before we get it right. We have to learn from what works, but we also have to learn from what doesn't work. When we learn that maybe we're oversharing something, again, if we try to retain that, we can maybe try to tone it down a bit. We can share some information. We don't have to share everything. We can share what we need to share with the people we care about and the people that care about us, but with other people, again, it might be a different relationship. It might be a professional one. It might just be friends on the periphery of our social circle. We learn only to share certain things with them. We don't have to share everything. Paulita, very interesting. Thank you for the clear, concise explanation. It's actually very basic and foundational. It is very basic and foundational. I'm a very visual person. I think in images and I think in analogies and things like that, so getting the concept of a window, it made perfect sense to me. Again, I wish I had graphics if I could do this properly, but you just think of a square window and there's four panes of glass and you just put the name in each of those panes of glass. It makes perfect sense, all the things that go into the different panes. Word gets strange whenever they start changing shapes and so on. It's a bit hard to get my head around, but it is very, very simple. When we're dealing with other people as well, again, how we improve our interactions and our communication and so on, remember their Johari window as well, because you might be in your open area, but they are in their facade or vice versa. They could be in their facade and you're in your open area. It could be different way around. You might point out, you might recognize some of the blind spots. Again, depending on who it is, depending on how aware they are, if you're in a situation with someone, you're in a relationship or an environment with someone, and again, they're toxic, they're manipulative, they're narcissistic, it's like they might not recognize their own blind spots. This is not a nice way of putting it, but some people assume you're stupid. Whenever they're telling you things, whenever they're lying to you, whenever they're gaslighting you, there's almost, I think, an insulting element about that. They assume you're stupid. They assume that you cannot see. In other words, you can see their blind spot. They assume that you cannot see these things. But yes, yes, it is very basic. Great subject. Thanks for bringing it to us. Strikes me as something I may never have come across, no matter how much I travel about it. Yeah, it's very old. It's from the 1950s, the mid 1950s. That's how old it is now. I know a lot of psychological concepts are quite old, but this comes from the 1950s. It's something, even if it's not used in name, if you look at the dynamics in that, it's something that is often used in group settings. It's used in group therapy. It's used in support groups. It's even used in, I would go as far as to say, even if you see people in work having a discussion, having a meeting about something, it's even used there. There's a certain level of openness, but there's also a level of the professional face, the facade. They're hiding things, not in a sneaky way, but they're hiding. They're not necessarily sharing about what's going on at home. They're not necessarily sharing. They've got an ingrown toenail. They're not sharing everything, but they might share their professional knowledge, their professional wisdom. They might give their ideas about certain things. And also in those group settings, there's a lot of blind spots and people get to pick up on each other's blind spots. And again, depending on the dynamic, people can feel safe and comfortable to be able to point out other people's blind spots in that. Everybody gets to learn. Challenge know how much or what to share sometimes because I don't pick up on social cues, misread the person. That's very common. Um, when we miss social cues, I'm going to be honest. Sometimes I miss social cues. Um, I think we all do on some level. I would, I would miss them as well. And something I try to do is to try to actively listen. Now, again, my mind wanders and sometimes I miss things completely. It's human nature. Um, but trying to pay attention to things like body language, tone of voice, and so on. Um, when we're aware of our Jihari window and where we are in that situation, sometimes that can be a little easier because if it's someone you feel comfortable with, if it's someone that you trust, your, your open area is probably quite, quite big. So you can talk about thoughts, feelings, things like that. And it's sometimes people can be easier to read when, um, when we're in our facade again, we're only sharing circle things. So we, we, uh, certain things. So we might be a little bit more guarded. And I think sometimes when we're a little more guarded, it can be hard to pick up on certain things. So again, it's like trying to find a balance. I once told the person, I cannot possibly be as dumb as you think I am because someone not dumb could not possibly stay alive. Okay. I'm not going to ask how that went, but, um, one of my favorite comebacks and I'm not advocating anybody ever say this by the way, but one of my favorite comebacks came from a very, very old TV show. When I was a kid, I used to watch, I watched it religiously. I loved it. It was a sci-fi show. I was watching it again during lockdown just to see what was it about it that I liked. And it's, there was just this interaction between two of the characters. They're having an argument and, uh, well, the whole crew are having an argument about what they should do next. Um, one of them suggests something and he's told to be quiet. And when he's told to be quiet, he, he, he showed, you know, I'm entitled to my opinion. But then one of the other guys replies, yes, we know. But the annoying thing is you seem to think that we're all entitled to it as well. That's one of the funniest things I ever heard. It was quite well written. I'm not advocating anybody say that by the way. Okay. Um, thank you for this interesting subject. Never heard of it before. Nice to see you live again that it's nice to have you here as well. And I'm glad you find this helpful. I have was through it very, very quickly because I'm kind of, we've been pushed for time today, but, um, the Jihari window, as I say, you will find a lot of information on it. There there's articles out there, there's models on how it works. Um, I'm pretty sure on YouTube people have done, um, maybe videos about it that they can demonstrate it and so on. But once you're aware of it, you pay attention. In fact, here's something to think about, you know, whoever you're interacting with, um, you know, today or tomorrow, have a look at maybe how you're interacting with them. Because again, if it's someone you're comfortable with, if it's a buddy, if it's a friend, if it's a partner, whatever, you know, uh, family member, and you feel really comfortable with him, if you trust them, you'll probably notice that's your open area, that's your arena. You're at your most comfortable. So it's okay to share certain things, but maybe you go into work or maybe you go into another environment and you maybe have to be a bit more cautious, a bit more guarded, not necessarily in a bad way, but you're, you're just moderating your behavior. If you will notice that your hidden area or your, um, your, your facade, notice how that starts to increase. When someone points out something, something you've done, something you've said, maybe you've been struggling to do something. And somebody says, you know, you did a good job of that, or, you know, you really pushed yourself to try and get that done. That could be your blind spot. The parts of you that you hadn't thought because you were struggling, you probably thought you weren't doing well, or even if you tried something and it didn't work for someone to say that you gave that your best shot. Um, again, that's our blind spot because all we're looking at is the fact that we failed. And again, the unknown part of us, sometimes they remember the unknown part of this. The guy said to me, he asked me, can you play the violin? And I said, no. So we asked, how do you know you're not the world's best violinist? Having never lifted a violin, having, having never learned a musical note, having never tried, I'll never know. So there are parts of us that sometimes come out, and I think sometimes those parts of us come out whenever perhaps things are at their worst. As I say, we become a bit more braver than we thought. We become a bit more resourceful, resilient. But also when things are at their best, things, other things start to come out. For instance, when things are at their best, we would like to bring others along with us. We maybe want to share in that. We maybe want to encourage them as well. So there are parts of us that we don't know. But as I say, others don't know. But they can come out in different situations. I believe I can use this information as a tool to give myself and others more grace and yet recognize when someone is jabbing me in an unkind way. Yeah, remember the Johari window is not just us. Sometimes it's other people as well. We can see there are blind spots. We can maybe start to see things in them that maybe they weren't aware of. We point them out. Other times we can see they may be a bit more relaxed. Maybe they start to unwind a bit. They start to share a little more. Maybe they just start to behave a bit differently. They're not as tense. So we can see that the sad part of them start to shrink. As they become more comfortable with you, they start to relax more. Maybe they become a bit friendlier. Or maybe they've become a bit more assertive because they see that you're not a threat to them. You're not going to shoot them down. So there's a lot of different ways you can use the Johari window as a way to, as I say, manage your interactions and your relationships. Coherent Heart, you're very welcome. I'm glad you're finding this helpful. I'm glad you find this enlightening. Kind of pushing for time. I know I said I was going to be a little shorter than usual. So I've got about five minutes left. Anybody has any questions within reason, I'm willing to take them. Remember, I can't answer anything too personal. I can't talk about personal situations, real life people, things like that. So I'm going to browse through if anybody has any questions they would like me to answer. Let me see. So I'm just looking at these and as I'm noticing there's a lot of names come back every single time I do this and that is really encouraging. It's nice to see new names and new faces, you know, or new avatars if you know what I mean. But whenever I see people that come back to listen to what I'm talking about, there's something very encouraging about that. I really do appreciate that. Okay, if nothing else, it makes me think I must be doing something right. Coherent Heart, this is your first time here. Yeah, I haven't seen that. But there have been a few others that I have seen. Just Judy. Sounds familiar. You've been here before. Always interesting. Yeah, Sixth Sense Amelia. Yeah, I've seen you before. I think I've answered some of your questions. Gypsy Lil. Hello, Gypsy Lil. Yeah, it's another person who comes back regularly. So as I say, it is really encouraging. It's nice to see new people just listen to me waffle on a bit, you know. I hope you like what you're hearing. But it's nice that other people who do keep coming back. I really do appreciate that. As I say, it gives me encouragement to keep on doing this. This is not, I've said this before in a live stream, this does not come naturally to me. I'm not a natural presenter. I can talk to a crowd, I can talk to a room full of people, do training and things like that. But I'm talking to a camera and reading a scroll thing that comes up. This is doesn't come naturally to me. People who watch my videos say I'm not a natural presenter. But waffles, waffles. Yeah, this is it's a good Belfast word waffling on it just means you just always come back. Thanks for all the help. You're very welcome. Guys, I've got a minute or two left. So next time is going to be on a Wednesday again. So it's not going to be this Wednesday. It's the next I do this every 10 days. Again, I'm going to leave it open like I always do. If there's a topic you might like me to cover or I will suggest something that people want me to go with majority then that's what I'll do. Other than that, I will I will go with tend to tend to go with what the majority say if someone else suggests something. There were a few suggestions when I put this out. Ferguson, I'm going to get back to you just in a moment. Yeah, I was gonna say there were a few questions and that some of the questions, which I don't have in front of me think I'd be better prepared. I have already answered in a previous live stream, plus some of the videos I've done, so I will get back to that person. Just let them know that I've done that. Some of them I am doing in an upcoming video. Before I forget tomorrow night's video coming out at six o'clock comes from a question that to my shame was asked about a year ago. I tend to go with I forget a lot of questions around the same thing. I tend to do those ones first. They're easier. But this was a question and it came from a video I'd made a long good while ago about what happens when narcissistic people lose control over someone. The question that was asked was what happens whenever a narcissistic person can't control someone in the first place. Whenever someone is uncontrollable, they will not be manipulated. They will not be controlled. So tomorrow night's video, I'm going to be discussing that. I'm going to look at some of the reasons why they feel they need to control things, control people. I'm going to give a few situations like I normally do, some things that might happen where they feel a lack of control and then give some common reactions to how they behave. So I hope you find something helpful in that. So I'm going to get back to the question here. Would you be willing to take requests for future combos? Yeah, that's just what I mentioned. That's what I do. I talk about topics that people want me to talk. You see, if it was me, say if it was just me, I would be talking about my favorite doctor who or who's the best captain of the enterprise or which one was the best enterprise. You know, I would just walk along and try and put a counseling perspective on it. I tend to waffle like that. So instead, when I started the channel, I decided I would talk about things that people ask me to talk about, but again, within reason. And it does take me a while because I get a lot of requests. So yes, I do that. Bear in mind, I can only answer generally. I can't talk about real life people and situations. So topic I struggle with discerning what is a me issue versus a them issue. Yeah, that is a common one. Is it me versus them? I'm going to keep a note of that or whatever the R stands for R Ferguson. And I'll keep a note of that, whether it's whether it's me or whether it's them. That's actually quite an interesting question, because it can't always be easy to discern. It can also be difficult if you have someone who is telling you to but also getting other people to tell you to as well. That can sometimes add to it as well. Sometimes that's known as mobbing or triangulating. So that's a that's a really interesting one. That's something I will talk about in the future. Yeah. Three of us in this chat today are on the spectrum. Well, I think everybody has elements of something. My mind jumps all over the place. I know people have told me what that probably is. Maybe it is. I don't know. But my mind jumps all over the place. I start talking about one thing and I go down another road and then split off to another one. Eventually, I do try to get back to where I started. And you are diverse, too. That sounds familiar. Picard over Kirk. Well, Picard is the guy that you would want to be in charge. But Kirk is the guy you would want to be in charge if you were in a fight, especially a fistfight. He was always doing fistfights. Back in 10 days. Yeah. Everybody likes Kirk. Everyone likes Picard. Both have their charms. Both have their styles. Very good. Very helpful. I'm not quite sure, Amanda. I can't actually give advice. Remember, I can only talk about specific things, but advice on something. So then I think you've misspelled that, so I'm not quite sure what it is. Data. Yeah, data is a good thing. Can I do a psych profile on Kirk? Do you know something I did do? I have a playlist where I do the only analyzing I ever do. I don't talk about real people. But I did do analysis of some fictional characters from movies and TV shows. And you've just mentioned about doing one on James Tiberius Kirk. So do you know what? I just might do that. I would really indulge myself with that, you know? Live long and prosper. No problem. Folks, I'm going to have to go. I know I'm about 10, 15 minutes earlier than I normally am, and I do apologize for that. But I do hope you got something out of this evening. I do hope you found the chat about the Johari window useful. As I say, there's a lot of stuff out there, visual graphics and models of it, pictures, which will make more sense to you than just me waffling on about it. When you get a sense of it, again, it can help with our building on our own self-awareness. It can help, you know, discover things about ourselves. And it can help, above all, it can help in our interpersonal relationships. My dog's middle name was Tiberius. Okay. Listen, everybody, I thank you all for attending. I think I've gone as far as I can with the questions. Really, really nice to have you all back here again. As I say, it's nice to see people here that come pretty much every time I do a live stream. But it's really nice to have new people join again. I hope you find it helpful. I hope you find it useful. Do please remember, and I keep forgetting to do this. This is why I don't have a massive channel. Do please remember to click the wee like button. And if you want to leave a comment, I appreciate that as well, because it just helps other people get to see it. So until next time, as I say, there's going to be a premiere of the video out tomorrow at six. But I will be back again, live 10 days from now and talk about whatever people would like me to talk about. So until then, live long and prosper, everybody. Bye now.