HOW I FIGURED OUT THAT MY FATHER WAS A COVERT NARCISSIST #npd #narcissisticabuse #narcissist

Hey hey y'all, Spiritual Whistleblower here bringing you another video, matter of fact I have uploaded four different videos for your viewing leisure as promised, um I hope everybody's doing good, don't mind me, I have Blistex all over my lips because of this cold weather, my eyes are tearing actually it's chilly out, it's not as cold as it was uh last week but it's supposed to go go down in the 20s, supposed to feel like Alaska they said this week so it's cold but I'm tolerating it, um how y'all doing and before any y'all ask, my TikTok page is fine, I deactivated it, I will reactivate it soon, I'm just taking a TikTok break and I came over to YouTube to you know catch up my videos, I still do one-on-one coaching, people keep asking me, do you still do phone phone consultations, do you give advice? Yes I do, matter of fact for the Christmas holidays starting today up until the 31st, I will give 50% off my original price, okay so if you want one-on-one coaching any advice baby daddy husband wife your parents, grandparent, whoever the narcissist is and you need some advice, hit me up in my email. I have it pinned down below in the comment section, ChanelJasmine at gmail.com and you will get a 50% discount off of the original pricing. All right, y'all. So as promised, I want to talk about a power dynamic. Many of y'all who were raised by two parents, okay? And even if you wasn't raised by two parents, you still might want to listen to this video. You were raised by two parents and one of them seemed more toxic than the other. And I'll give you an example. I'll use my parents in our household. Okay. I want to say my parents were together up until I was about 11 or 12 years old. They got divorced and my father did not agree to the divorce. My mother kind of had to force, force it out of him, you know, and kind of like, um, go around his back to get the signatures and the paperwork done because he, he wasn't. And that's, that's how narcissistic men do. Narcissists, you know, um, especially men, when you mentioned the word divorce, it's like a switch goes off in their brain. Divorce means loss of control. And that's why the domestic violence rate is so high because many men, um, men murder their wives when the wife is seeking to divorce. And I tell women, don't you tell your husband you're going to divorce him. You have to really plan very carefully and strategically. You literally have to go see a lawyer in silence. You can't tell your family that you're divorcing. You can't tell his family. His family is definitely going to tell him. And some of you, you know, you find out you got sneaky, abusive family members. They'll go behind your back and tell your husband you're you're planning to leave him too so you really cannot tell anyone that you're planning to leave and divorce your husband you have to literally move in silence it's between you and God at that point so yeah you go tell your lawyer your attorney what have you um you go you know make the steps you know you go find out all the financial stuff you know child support alimony you find out what you're up against and then you you know you might want to research where you want to move um of course you know you're going to have to report this to a judge and family court or divorce court if you plan on relocating and you have children, you don't have children that's all the more better you can just pack up and move to another city and state far away from your abusive husband so um divorce to tell a narcissist that you're going to divorce him he's going to lose his mind because you're threatening his control over you so i knew that's another reason why I knew my daddy was a narcissist. He did not cooperate with the divorce and my mother literally had to go around him to get it done. But in my situation with my parents, my mother was the more dominant narcissist. My father is what you would call a covert or vulnerable narcissist. The correct term for covert narcissist is vulnerable. That's the victim narcissist. Oh, woe is me. Everybody's don't mean my father is a professional ******* victim he's very passive he's very feminine acting and he's a closeted misogynist oh he's definitely a misogynist and there were too many clues over the years that led me to believe he you know he doesn't like the woman who raised him he he literally hates that that woman i understand because you know many times many phone conversations we've had about his mother she's done horrible things to him in his childhood I won't reveal some of those things but he told he confided in me and yes she was extremely abusive to all three of her sons my father has two other brothers one is deceased right now she abused all of them into the ground and not only did she abuse them she emasculated them robbed them of their manhood called them horrible names sissy punk you know totally emasculated her boys um and on top of that had bloody fistfights in front of them traumatized the **** out of them so i will extend my daddy grace in that manner but where i don't **** with him is is you know being that he grew up in such a horrible toxic household he should have learned from that and changed his ways when he got with my mother. He should have said, you know what? I'm not going to raise my kids the way that I was raised. I don't want my kids seeing me fist fight. I will never put my hands on a woman. I'm going to work and take good care of my family. He didn't learn none of that. He got worse. It's like everything that he learned from his parents, he took it and he poured it over into his marriage, but he tricked me and my siblings for a long time. Now, my mama is the violent, overt narcissist. She's malignant. She's overt, which means she's out there with hers. OK, she's she's very outspoken and out there with her abusive, toxic behavior, profanity, willing to fist fight my father in the streets. No matter who's looking, who's around. Yes, they fought in front of me and my siblings. She didn't care. She called my father all types of demeaning things. She, too, also emasculated him just like his mother did. He was every type of sissy, punk, faggot, you name it. And she did this in front of me and my siblings. I remember a time, I might have shared this with you guys. I have so many memories of just trauma. Motherfuckers traumatized the **** out of me and my brother. My sister, my baby sister, my baby sister doesn't remember. She was too young to remember. But me and my brother, we have witnessed some of the most horrifying, traumatic events between my parents. I I can't recall um they were fighting so bad I told you guys we lived in and out of several motels all over New Jersey and it was one night it was super late my mother calls herself packing up our ---- and leaving my father at the motel they were fighting so bad and she made us get in the back seat of the car it was late it had to be like I don't know if it was 11 after midnight it was late it was nighttime and she made all three of us me my brother and sister get in the back seat of the car while you know her and my daddy was fighting she jumps in the car and my dad is standing in front of the car she literally mashed on the gas and she tried to run him over he jumped out the way can you imagine how traumatizing that was for me and my siblings to witness your mother try to run your father over with the car I knew she hated him the fact that he was lazy he kept getting fired from his jobs the fist fights you know the crazy making because he's a narcissist so yeah in the household he you know was always you know him poking and provoking her which narcissists do and you know because he was brought up in such dysfunction and his parents normalized fist fights so he he normalized fist fighting with my mama yeah she's a bad person she's a demon but he he's equally abusive but this is where he had me and my siblings tricked i being the oldest child and his first girl the first little girl born to my parents the first grandchild and my you know because my my grandmother his mother my nana she had three boys so literally i was technically the first little girl born into their family too um my father would triangulate me against my mama And I never understood that until I started putting two and two together. Growing up, I always thought my daddy was the good guy. My mother would beat, abuse us, and he would talk ---- about her behind her back to us. And he would say things like, I just want us to keep our family together. Your mother wants to destroy our family. It was always that type of talk. So he vilified my mother every chance he could to me and my brother so that she was the only bad guy and I will say she was definitely the bad guy but she was not the only bad guy okay and and daddy would always play that victim role and over the years you know my teenage years I got close to my daddy after they got a divorce you know my dad moved to Florida I still would call him and we would have this close father-daughter relationship over the phone it was long distance but we would have several gossip sessions and I kid you not every phone conversation was literally about my mother and his mother he would just replay replay replay replay old memories about how abusive both of them were and how jealous my mother is of my beauty and this and that and and dad dad is dad wish he could have done it was always the victim story but the nigga is down in florida like he's done nothing productive with his life you know when my mother left him she took custody of me and my siblings so my father literally had to start over he could have went to college he could have done so many great things with his life he's done nothing productive he's done nothing over the years but lay up on his ass collect workers comp he's never changed and that's why you know he had the stroke I believe he's cursed for for doing his children the way that he you know and he's delusional he feels like he's done nothing wrong he feels like everything is my mother's fault but what he was doing um my daddy never sat me down and taught me about toxic men he never taught me how to um see the signs of a narcissistic man um everything was my mother's fault and the crazy thing was whenever I would get into a toxic relationship and I would share with my daddy who my lovers were I got married and I my father knew my ex-husband and every last one of these guys beat and abused me and I told my father all these things and it was always it was all in a way it was him being condescending looking down on me what's wrong with you why can't you get it right you know it was that type of of behavior my daddy never protected me from abusive men my daddy never sat me down and schooled me and taught me how to spot these men and stay away from them but he was a listening ear whenever my life was fucked up whenever a nigga beat my ass or I had to put a nigga in jail my daddy was there to get all the tea he was a messy queen waiting for the phone call to pour so he could hear all my problems and my drama because misery loves company so I started to put two and two together I said wait a minute and then you know my ex-husband when he put his hands on me I locked his ass up you know and um he called my father from jail crying and complaining your daughter put me in jail boom boom boom so my father calls me and and like accused me what did you do to make him hit you I said what you're my father a nigga put his hands on me and you're questioning me that's it that did it for me i'm like yo he still hung up on my mother he still hung up on his mother he can't separate neither one of the women from my me and my experiences no he came at me crazy when i told him that i had to lock my ex-husband up in jail what did you do to make him hit you dad guess what no woman deserves to be hit on despite what you saw growing up your parents fighting my granddaddy could have moved out the house to put a stop to the fighting he stayed and he continued to fight so my granddaddy is to be held ******* accountable if my grandmother was a bully which she was why did he stick around and tolerate that ---- because apparently my granddaddy liked the drama too yeah that's what it was being that my grandfather is a narcissist and my nana both of them they were obsessed with controlling each other so they loved fist fighting and they loved the drama they they moved in separate bedrooms but they would not divorce and leave each other my granddaddy ended up having a baby outside of his marriage with another woman his side chick and all three of his children were psychologically fucked up and all three of those men went on to abuse women and have fucked up marriages none of them learned from their mistakes of their parents so my father could not separate his childhood experiences and his experiences with my mother i was automatically guilty in his eyes because i'm a woman which makes my daddy a ******* misogynist anyone put your hands on the daughter your daughter you you you should want to ******* kill that ******* man and the same thing when my mother's second husband molested me i also told my father about it you think my father confronted that man or punched that nigga in his face or blacked out no my daddy's a coward my daddy would never put his hands on a man he'll talk a lot of ---- on the phone but put his hands on a man no he's only good for putting his hands on a woman my mother I talk ---- about my mother all the time but I you know my father was a piece of ---- too what he would do was he would bond with me through gossip and I became dad I thought I was daddy's girl I thought I was special I was never a daddy's girl I was daddy's gossiping partner he needed somebody to trauma dump on he needed somebody to gossip and talk ---- about his mother and my mother somebody that you know and I was the listening ear you know my baby brother is really his golden child that's that's his favorite child but my brother was away in other countries playing basketball so he used me to do all his gossiping and then once my brother came back in the picture I was discarded like trash and my brother took over as the gossiping the favorite child the favorite gossiping buddy i see how my father used me as the golden child you know um to triangulate me against against my mother he was spreading gossip to other family members he's all the way in florida everybody's up here in new jersey so he loves getting on the phone spreading his gossip and talking about this one and that one and i started putting two and two together i said this nigga is fucked up in the head he's always you know and he he thinks because he can quote some bible script, bible scripture and praise the lord and he's one of them you know the black church is full of these motherfucking covert narcissists praising the lord all the time but they be doing the most drama the most gossiping the most damage they're abusive they're messy as **** he's one of them he's a covert vulnerable victim ******* narcissist the end there is nothing that can persuade me different so I started figuring out you know me and him had a clash I forget what it was but um he started you know oh I know what it was wait a minute I did an interview uh for 50 Cent this is 50 he has a blog and I interviewed a celebrity and you know at the time I was overweight and and I was wearing a dress with cut off sleeves and my father saw the video and he read through the comments and there were a lot of trolls making fun of my my arms oh your arms look flabby this that and the third and that's typical like if you're gonna pop you know do something on a very major celebrity blog people are going i don't care how perfect you look people are going to make fun of you they're going to find something to make fun of you that's just part of the business and and he instead of him congratulating me for my journalism and you know i stood up for myself um there's a whole story behind it for context uh this hip-hop producer tried to bully me and i stood up for myself and we we aired him out we exposed him and that's what the interview was about instead of my father congratulating me on standing up for myself and you know uh being on a major celebrity platform he was more focused on what people were saying about my arms look how people are talking about you like he was embarrassed and that's another clue that my daddy is a narcissist because narcissistic parents only care about their public image and they only care about how their children make them look publicly if you're shining and doing well academically or you know like my brother was a star basketball player they love bragging on their kids when their kids are doing something you know major or amazing or on a celebrity level they love taking credit when you're doing amazing ---- but if it's something embarrassing let's say you have a disability let's say you're overweight let's say something like that they act like they're ******* ashamed of you so my daddy overlooked the bigger picture the whole issue of the video is that i had to take a stand against somebody in the music industry he's a multi-millionaire music producer who tried to lie and discredit me and i aired him out with receipts and shut him down and that was broadcast on a celebrity podcast and and um it took a lot for me to stand up against him my daddy didn't say congratulations great job i'm proud of you no my daddy's worried about what people are saying about my flabby arms in the comment section so we clashed over that and then i started putting two and two together i said wait a minute this nigga has been using me all these years and triangulating me against my mother and the women in my family i'm not a daddy's girl i'm just a pawn i'm just a pawn in his sick twisted mental game he he'll never get over the fact my mother divorced him and he lost control of everything his life fell apart he never he never leveled up financially he's still like a bum slumming down in florida he won't come out the closet like his life did not his ---- fell apart when my mother left him he can lie all the **** he wants to i know what time it is and that's why he's suffering now that's why he had a major stroke and he's he's fucked up because when you ---- on your kids you'll never be ******* blessed so my mother although she was the bigger bully my father sat back and allowed her to bully us he did not protect me from her but because he needed a reason to bash her and bad mouth her to me and my brother so that he looked like an angel and she looked like the bad guy but the fact that he didn't protect us from her it only means he's just as abusive for enabling her to do that to us so he's equally abusive he's just the lesser he's the lesser narcissist she's the bigger narcissist she's the bigger narcissist and he's the lesser narcissist he's the covert she's the overt but they're both abusive people and when I started putting two and two together and figuring out that my daddy um was secretly abusing me and playing these psychological mind games and that I was never really a daddy's girl he was just using me as a pawn I cut him off for good I cut that ************ off for good yeah my mother physically verbally she was violent she abused me more than my father she allowed her nasty dirty second husband to get away with molesting me she's still married to him today she's a horrible human being but my daddy never never I mean when she divorced him she didn't he didn't fight for custody joint custody he didn't he it's like he wanted us to be abused by her so he could have a reason to ******* bash her in the streets instead of stepping up and protecting us that's all game and i will have nothing to do with him ever again so that's the power dynamic ladies um when you have two parents in a household and what it could be your mama and stepfather it doesn't have to be your biological father but if your mama is married and you're being raised in a two-parent household and your mother is more abusive than your father and you you claim that you and him are close and you run to him with your problems even if y'all talk about your mother and how she's abusive and he it seems like he never protects you or defends you from her but y'all are clicked up and bonding all the time your daddy is an enabler of your mother's abuse he's just as abusive as she is you're not a daddy's girl you need to wake up and and realize your daddy is hustling you he's using you as a pawn and triangulating you and he's he's he's being passive and laid back to allow your mother to continue to abuse you so he can keep his hands clean so you can run to him and bond with him about your trauma that your mama caused it's a psychological game you got to cut your daddy off too you can't just cut mama off you got to cut daddy off too i hope this video makes sense to a lot of y'all because um once i realized what my father was doing it was so crystal clear my daddy never protected me from men he never taught me about men never taught me how to stay away from abusive men and and that's because he's an abuser see ladies we end up marrying men when the man is abusive whether it's a relationship marriage would have you the men we end up with are a reflection of who our daddy is and if daddy does not want to take accountability he's a true narcissist and daddy the reason why daddy has never taught you about toxic abusive men and how to spot one and stay away from them stay away from one is because daddy does not want you to figure out that he's that actual abuser that he's trying to teach you about so he doesn't teach you about the abusive men at all because he fears you'll figure him out and who he really is deep down in his core but i clocked my daddy's behavior my daddy is a ******* narcissist y'all have a blessed day uh stay tuned for the other uh videos i will be posting throughout the day it's been spiritual whistleblower love you