You don't need to be more successful - you need to come home

you don't have to be tougher You don't have to be louder You don't have to go from introvert to extrovert overnight You need to come home to yourself And I know that's where the cheese is I know that might be a cheesy line but I absolutely love it It is so true for me We we look to cling to other things mimic other people We ask ourselves who do I need to be what do I need to be in order to be loved we've all We've all been in high school man If I get the chain wallet I'm definitely going to get the girl Chicks love chain wallets Who do I need to be in order to be liked and we continue to play that game into adulthood I got to be louder I got to be this person at the office I have to be this person in the relationship Especially scrolling through this rectangle which I am guilty of You get a sense like I got to be more like them more like that They got this successful thing We try to mimic subconsciously through scrolling and looking at other people We try to be somebody we're not Our behaviors change our thought patterns change And you may be in a spot right now maybe your late 20s 30s and you're like "Who the hell am I?" Welcome to the journey That's a very important question A one that comes with fear for sure but one that can also be um met with curiosity and optimism You know any BG's fans bg's fans 1997 uh I think the album Alone came out Alone and the hit single Alone right and no wait what's it so I'll play I'll wait cuz you know that love takes time Oh I love it Love takes time Love for somebody else doesn't take too much time You fall in love literally fall in love It's a let go It's a surrender You fall in love And to fall in love with ourselves doesn't really happen We like learn to love ourselves That's what coming home to yourself is Who are you really and I I want to tell you guys there is no greater freedom than being able to be yourself And therefore there's no greater tension than having to protect and not be who you truly are it Everything you say doesn't come from a genuine place It's not authentic You're being somebody to impress others You're being somebody because there's a fear and shame that if I show my true self I'll be rejected So there's a protection and attention that we hold Do you ever feel that do you ever feel that and I'm talking to men specifically right now because there's so much pressure Uh I don't know if you've all seen that show Adolescence on Netflix about this toxic masculinity and what people are seeing online now It's you have to fall in line to be a certain way rather than how can you cultivate what's inside See men think that it's it's out there to be conquered The world is out there to be conquered and look what I can show for my time on earth look at what I can show whether it's possessions whe what whatever it is So we cultivate our external external world and we don't cultivate and get to know what's really in here It's like we're raised to not know ourselves to hate ourselves to constantly be in pursuit And then the moment we sit alone the moment we're with ourselves oh my gosh it's it's not familiar It's so foreign to be truly here And that's the practice man That's the practice That's the learning That's the cultivation It's not the falling in love with the external It's the learning to love yourself I wonder if you've ever felt that I wonder if you're feeling that right now that and then in order to gain this love and learn to love myself this means I got to be tougher I got to be louder I got to do more to-dos I got to check off more boxes So we take so much we we get we immerse ourselves in activity and busyiness and that removes us further from ourselves And I remember being on this podcast years ago and uh I can't listen to it anymore because I'd cringe myself the out But I said you know we got to do less doing and more being And I totally disagree because if you've ever sat for a long time or been unemployed and have nothing to do that is some painful to not have a reason to get up in the morning to not have meaning to not have people depending on you that is the boredom is is so debilitating But to do things while being to be present while you're doing things that's the name of the game And that's how you get to know who you are I've never had an aha moment I'm not kidding I've never had an aha moment while I've been listening to music I've never had an aha moment when I've been kind of reading a book whether it's self-help or not I've actually never had a moment when I've been super busy talking to somebody or working or listening to a podcast The aha moments come when I I'm walking with no music The aha moments come when I'm in a state of meditation The aha moments come uh if I'm in church and praying I wonder if you've given yourself that opportunity to come home to yourself It's not about doing more And you can sense that urge within you Sometimes there's a constant pull because we feel this lack within us We feel like I'm not I'm not enough Once I do thea d then I'll be enough Once I get the chain wallet then I'll be enough Once I get the double D side piece then I'll be enough And what happens when your face is in the double D's motorboating the lack is still there The lack is still there especially postnut So what do we do well first of all we don't have to take it all serious right the who am I and oh my gosh I do feel that And I'm I'm constantly busy and I'm constantly trying to improve my life by doing things in the external and by conquering things out in the external world by ticking boxes I got the gym thing I'm doing this at work I'm climbing the corporate ladder I'm swiping on hinge like there's no tomorrow I'm going on dates I'm making things happen Of course doing things is great but is it in exchange with you coming home to yourself and really getting to know yourself so here's the invitation It's mental health week May 5th to 11th So in celebration of mental health week because so many men deal with depression and don't talk about it The reason we don't come home is be when are men encouraged to be in touch with themselves When are men encouraged to get to really know themselves and to know yourself doesn't mean you can bench 185 now To know yourself means what am I running from all everything that's so neurotic within me All the mistakes I've made in the past Every time I've been embarrassed every time I've really up my worries about the future who I am right now how can you sit and be with all of that i'm going to say that one more time because that is that is my daily practice and that's why I'm here Because sometimes life is so overwhelming The feeling of being inadequate the feeling of of lossness and not belonging and being a wanderer and not having two feet on the ground ever not feeling safe within our own bodies and minds How can you be with all of that everything from your past because you're doing it right now eh everything from your past the millions of moments everything that you're sitting with right now as far as worries about the future plans about the future to-do list right now you zoned out two minutes ago because you're like "Scott hurry the up I got to do some stuff." Everything How can you live with all of this while still taking care of today's things that are necessary uh that's well that's living And some people find that very difficult which is why there's distraction which is why there's so much pornography which is why there's non-stop scrolling So I'm going to ask you a few questions And if you resonate with any of the points I'm about to read out I would love you to click the link and we get on a free call and I ask you some questions It's an interview It's so I can build something that's for people just like you For men just like you Uh hopefully soon uh women to be invited as well Okay But men just like you I'm not going to get into the identification as a man I'm just saying you're a man You know you're a man Let's see You know dick balls whatever So if you're someone who relates to the following there's a link in the description and a link in the first comment You just put your name in and I would ask you about 12 questions on a call together a video call We get to meet It would be awesome And this would help me tremendously on being a guide to those uh who are in this season of lossness inner criticism self-doubt You don't know this but uh I'm going to be putting out a video when this program comes out I took a video in 2022 you know like a video journal And in 2022 I was so unbelievably scared anxious depressed lost Now these are just words right okay But to sense in that feeling I had no clue what to do And I put in this video I'm like future Scott if you're watching this I hope you're in a position now uh where you feel a little more grounded And that's what I want to help you with Gain a sense of that groundedness and coming home to yourself Because if there's one thing everybody wants you included I guarantee it Sense of contentment maybe calm inner acceptance for what you've done for the mistakes you've made for who you are How can you learn to love who you are because I guarantee it you're an amazing person There's no doubt about it There's no doubt about it Did I sound Canadian no dooy So if you're feeling lost if you deal with overthinking and a high degree of inner criticism like a lot of negative selft talk you know you get 98% on the test Where's the extra 2% Okay you say one wrong thing you beat yourself up for it You feel like you're constantly not enough and and needing to achieve seeking the external validation for how you feel inside Right it's like if I put this video up and it and it gets three views I'm going to beat myself up call myself a loser you're not entertaining enough it's not interesting enough nobody needs your help Right so do you deal with things like that and and reliance on achievement and people pleasing for that sense of selfworth it's my job here to It's not just about happiness Happiness is the byproduct It's about you really getting to know yourself and feel safe in in who you are So if that sounds good to you click the link in the description sign up I'd love to talk to you No cost whatsoever Can't wait to meet you and we'll talk to you soon Bye-bye