Can't Turn Off Your Brain? This Works

Hey everyone, Scott here, men's coaching counselor and neuroscientist, and today we're talking about overthinking. And I'm sure you've watched other videos before about how to stop and I appreciate you stopping on this one because we're going to do a specific exercise and it's going to work. And you will stop overthinking and thinking all together. Okay, so stay tuned. The first thing I want to bring here is a human element though, because you could have gone to chat, Gemini, Claude, perplexity, any AI and just typed in how to stop overthinking. I'm guessing you're here because you want a human element to it. Someone who's been there. I know what overthinking is. I've started entrepreneurship when I was nine years old and me and my brother starting a lawn care cutting company. All I thought about was work and what to do and how to do it and plan things out and the what ifs and the anxieties and the worries and the doubts. So you're here because you want a human element. Okay. And we're going to do something together to hopefully make you feel safe and comfortable. Okay. So the one thing I want to acknowledge here is that when you say overthinking though, you're talking about thoughts that bother you. Let's be real specific about what you want to stop. Because if you were having thoughts, millions a second, and it's just like, you're awesome, Scott. Life is so good. Everybody loves you. Wow. The weather's beautiful. If you were having positive thoughts and they were coming in at rapid speed, there'd be no problem. It would be complete bliss all the time. Your mind would just be complete positivity. Okay. Now for sure it could get a little overboard and you're like, man, okay. I'm, I'm tired of the compliments, Scott. Okay. But we're probably not talking about those. You are concerned about overthinking when it comes to doubt, when it comes to worry, when it's about the what ifs, the should I's, I could have, I should have, I must have, I must, will I? A lot of questions, a lot of open-ended scenarios, a lot of futures, a lot of paths. Okay. Is that where we stand? Good. Now what you have to realize is that the positive thoughts that you have and the negative thoughts that you have, they're on the same plane. It's all thought. So I'm an awesome person, man. They really liked what I did for them. That report was awesome. That presentation was sweet. I nailed it. Okay. That's one side positives. Other one. They disrespected me. I can't believe I made that mistake. I'm never good enough. Nothing I ever do will feel good enough. Boom, boom, all on the same plane of consciousness. It's all thought and they're all coming in when we don't really expect them, right? We're not choosing to have that negative thought. It's like after the presentation you gave to your coworkers or whatever, it's not like you're sitting there being like, okay, I'm going to choose to really think I'm a piece of ---- right now. Of course not. So these things come in at will and it's our response to them that makes all the difference. So here's what you might've tried with the stop overthinking silencing your thoughts is it's the bully that has all of the thoughts here and just spitting them at you. You're worthless. You're nothing. You're ugly. That's why you're single. That's why you're gonna be alone forever. And what do you try to do? You try to push that ****** away. Just get out of here. Go away. Shut up. And this is where alcohol can come in. And this is where cannabis can come in because it removes responsibility, lowers our sense and our inhibition. So you try to push back. And of course, you know, the moment you push, the harder you push, it comes running back to you. It comes spitting back faster than it was before, like pushing down a tight spring and it comes back and hits us in the face. So there's somewhat of a law where the harder you push, the more you compress, it's just going to fire back. So we don't want to do that. What if we could be an ally, be a witness, be a loving presence to that bully? Now, I want you to think about it in the schoolyard, even someone that you really didn't like, someone that put you down in the past. This can be even a parent. This can be a brother, a sister, again, someone at school, someone at work. And what's always the thing with bullies is they want attention. They want attention. But what kind of attention? They want the visceral reaction from you. They want either the ultimate sadness for you to experience dread, for you to hate yourself. They want to get that emotional reaction from you. And one thing a bully and this part of your psyche does not expect and is so foreign to them is a loving presence of the negative thinking. Whoa. It takes practice, but hear me out. A loving presence of that negative side of you. An awareness. Not, oh, I'm overthinking again. Why can't I stop? Shut the hell up. No. Oh, there you are. I see you. There I am again. Putting myself down. And you can even go to the third person as if it's a bully. Oh, there he comes. Uh-huh. There's the doubt. Oh, now I know this game. Here are the insults, throwing them at me again. Hmm. Right? Huge difference. It's the fight against yourself versus this radical loving acceptance. Okay? And this is how you move forward in relationships, in faith, in work, because you're so used to fighting yourself and pushing back and using that critic, using that bully as fuel. And now it's got you tired and it's causing that spring to decompress and hit you in the face. So you're at a point now where, okay, obviously what I'm doing about this overthinking thing isn't working. So let's try an exercise together. Just sit normally as you are. Okay? And just notice your environment. You know, where are you? Are you at work? Are you on the couch? In the car? Just notice and then feel your body and notice the space that your body is taking up. Okay? And now I want you to pay real close attention to your mind, whatever that means for you and ask yourself, I wonder what my next thought will be and wait for it to come. I wonder what my next thought will be and wait for your next thought. And right when you see it, I wonder what my next thought will be. So you may still be waiting for that thought. You see? You see? Now maybe 50% of you, it didn't work. One came right up. I wonder what my next thought will be. You're fat! You know, it could have just been that quick. Or for some of you, for most of you even, there was an awareness. You were the witness of the manufacturing of thought. Right? You were witnessing the thought factory and you were waiting for a next thought to come out of the assembly line there. And you're waiting for it and waiting for it and waiting for it in that acute sense of awareness. You feel that? So you felt your body. You felt, you know, where your consciousness, you believe it lies. So a lot of us say behind the eyes. So I'm like, you know, feel your mind a little bit and then you become super, super aware of the process. So to stop overthinking, it is a matter of non-judgment and presence. This is the, what would you call it, tabloid, the banner for mindfulness right there. That's it. That's it. Now you add awareness with non-judgment and you add non-judgment with compassion. As we talked about being compassionate to the bully, being compassionate towards the thoughts that come. Because how you talk to yourself, remember that you're listening. Remember that quote? Be careful what you say to yourself because you're the one listening. So you want to, the bully's talking to you. Okay. Well that's part of you too. And then you're going to talk ---- to the bully. Okay. That's you too. So the response of compassionate awareness in my experience is the ultimate key to not stop, but to slow down, to let thinking not be the big drama, the big show that it's always been. The thoughts come out, you know, in your mind, they come out and G-strings, thongs, naked, and they just want all your attention. Like, check this out. And after years and years, you're like, okay, you're not grabbing my attention this time. I've seen that story. I've seen the twerk. I've seen you shake. And now I want to be here. I want to be in the moment here. And thoughts, they'll do anything to capture your attention. That was just one example. And then there's going to be one full of fear. And imagine this scenario, Scott, and imagine the worst case here, right? And imagine this happened instead of that. And that hasn't even happened yet, but imagine it does. Anything to capture you. And it's all on this stage. And you can be a witness to the show. By being born, you got a ticket. You can go to the show and you can watch. You can be the observer. Okay. And realizing that whether the show is a horror or a thriller, or if it's porn, whatever the show is, it's all on the same stage. And that stage is that realm of consciousness of thought. And that's what we're dealing with. We're dealing with all of it. And I want you to try that exercise all week. When you are in a state of overthinking, to take a bit of a step back and just say, okay, I see all of that and don't hate yourself for it. And then ask yourself, all right, with all of that thinking being done, I wonder what my next thought will be now. Sit in silence for a moment and wait. And there's your awareness practice, my friends. Very simple, but it's a start for you. And it's the best way I know how, as far as this compassionate presence and awareness. This is it. You don't need to take the supplements. You don't need to, you know, run a marathon. You need to sit with yourself in a compassionate and loving way. God bless you. And we'll see you next time. Bye-bye.