why we moved | navigating life change Q&A

All right. Are you ready? I'm ready. Well hello you guys and welcome back to our channel. Welcome back to the channel everybody. And welcome to our new backyard. Welcome to the new backyard. Some of you were shocked but let me just say this. We were shocked. We were shocked about this sudden move and so we're gonna be doing like a Q&A kind of answering all the different questions you guys have. We know that there was quite a few of them. A lot of them. I think we still have. A lot of the same questions. Yeah. But like a lot of them. Yeah and then we're also gonna, we asked on Tori's question box on Instagram for what life change are you guys currently experiencing? What life transitions? What stage are you walking towards? And hopefully we'll be able to speak into a few of those as well because we know that if we're experiencing life change you guys are as well. And so yeah. And a portion of this video is sponsored by BetterHelp but more on that later. And you ready to do the first question? Yeah. Okay. You can't tell. Tori's glowing. You are glowing. There's a bug. I'm just kidding. You guys see her. Okay. The glow left real quick. Okay. So with the last video I was laughing because when we were watching it back before we posted I literally was like we're in nature. We are in nature. And I had a surprise. Three seconds later this cicada attacks me. So that's like the one thing about being more in nature that this girl has to get used to is the amount of bugs that are currently here. This may be and we'll jump in. This may be an unfortunate circumstance where I don't know how many like flowering trees or plants we'll have because we just found out Tori has a lot of allergies and so do our boys. And so for the past few weeks she's just been like trying to come around. You know especially just in Tennessee in general. We're used to Florida. We don't have this in Florida. And so all the pollen and everything. So I wonder. This is a beautiful tree. It's so pretty. It's so pretty. I wonder if my eyes will be swollen by this video. Yeah because watering eyes, itchy eyes, sniffly itchy nose, just like stereotypical allergies. And yeah Micah was experiencing it too. Anyways long story short we're going to get into the questions. I wanted to do one of their questions first because it will also reveal something about what's going on with us. Yeah okay so first question is just got our first home and it is a full renovation job struggling to be patient as it will take six plus months. Yeah. So a little bit about what's going on with us is the house we bought is also going to be a reno. And so we're currently living in it as we dream up the plans of the renovation as we like plan it with the general contractor and everything else. And we have no idea what the timeline will look like. And it's just funny that we're talking about life change because because we bought a reno we'll also have to then move out of this house again while it's getting renovated. Yeah and I don't know fully what we'll do with that but whenever we came and saw the property whenever we were in the house to be honest like you know our first two houses that you guys have seen were just like they felt so new and lovely. And this one while it's lovely it has has some character and I want to say this in a in a most humble way as possible. I mean there's some windows that are broken. There's some critters that crawl up on your pillow. I'm not joking. I am not joking. A wasp crawled on my pillow. This is definitely gonna be a labor of love but whenever we made it to certain areas around we're like wow. Holy spirit. And so I don't want to get too deep in the weeds of the why regarding this question but we are going to be doing a reno and we're kind of nervous about it and so I guess to answer your question is that how do you manage being patient? I think I think number one you want to set your expectations no matter what life change you're going through like your expectations will kill your experience or they will make your experience and so for us we're talking to people that have done this before we're getting a ton of advice and kind of setting expectations where okay it's going to cost more money and it's going to take more time so off the top we're already disappointed. Not disappointed just like where you're not thinking it's going to go completely smoothly all the time and then you're like shocked if something like happens. It's more like okay we know during this process something's going to happen so when it does happen we're prepared and equipped to handle it and our world doesn't like fall apart because it's taking more time. Another little piece before we move on to the next question is that and I don't want to tell Tori this I watched a piece of content without her that we're going to watch together so Kristen Johns and what's her friend's name? John. So they have a podcast what's it called? That's the point. That's the point and they just Kristen just shared her whole home reno house story yeah and I listened to it already yeah without you I apologize but honestly she said something in there that really did stick with me and she was sharing that the older she gets and the more kind of hardships that she experienced regarding their home situation I don't know if you guys even know about it I didn't know about it until just well a lot of people commented and asked if we bought their land oh okay and I was like no no probably couldn't afford that but yeah anyways she just shared that she just really realized that like home is where her family is and so I think regarding being patient is just make sure you don't make your home into an idol. It's a lovely thing to have and it's probably the biggest purchase that we'll you will ever make I mean the homes are so crazy right now but I think just remembering that like our forever home is with is with Christ that's why there's this cool like festival I think of the tabernacle which is something that is practiced where you almost like live in what's called like a Sukkot or like a tent in your backyard for a certain amount of time like maybe a week out of a year and you look back at your home and you say that's my temporary home I am like a temporary resident here on this side of heaven and it reminds you of your heart posture of how you should think about your home and not make an idol out of it but of course enjoy it and make it a home that your family will thrive in yeah and I would also say we touched on this a little bit in the last video but what are you willing to endure for the joy set before you and a lot of the decisions that Chad and I always make it's with the end in mind and so a lot of this move so recently postpartum and everything we were like okay but what is our why like are we willing to endure the hardships of a reno and moving with you under two and everything else and it's like yes because we have a vision for our future family and honestly the huge part of it is this backyard like we just want our boys to be able to run around but anyways I hope that was encouraging to you for the joy set before you it definitely has brought us a lot of peace in the process okay next question is how are you managing the stress of moving so many times with a new baby and so it's tough sorry not to get way too you guys saw me get transported right there but yeah there's no way about it it's definitely tough yeah and I feel like this question is the perfect time to talk about better health as well if you are no stranger to our channel you know that two years after we got married we moved across the country we built our dream home and we got pregnant we entered the new land of parenthood and then we decided the best hood the best hood and then we decided oh now we're gonna sell our dream home pick up our family move again get pregnant again have another baby and now move again and something that's just been super helpful for me is actually using a christian therapist through better health I always find it so helpful to have a third party be able to speak into a life situation for me and of course for me like I want that to be christian advice and I love that better help matches you with the right person especially postpartum when my feelings my hormones can be all over the place I want someone to point me back to truth because we all know feelings can be great indicators but they are not always based in truth and so I'm someone who wants to be like slapped with the truth and so finding the right person is so important I love that better help just makes it really easy to find the right person and if you get a therapist and you're not really vibing they make it super easy to switch and even if you're not wanting like face-to-face and you just want to message your therapist like you can even do that and I found that like in certain seasons of life change that's just the easiest way for me yeah I don't think I'll be able to handle these types of things without people to bounce ideas off in a healthy way yeah because you know whenever you're going through stress you tend to like you tend to go to your squad of people but you don't always know if that person's going to give you the right advice and so I think sometimes what's helped me getting therapy is having a really healthy sounding board where they're almost helping me solve my problems or tackle the issue at hand but they're directing my thought process where I can't spiral out of control yeah but I can do so in a way because life change brings stress like it really does like a new baby so joyous but then you're losing sleep and there's just a whole new thing yeah for you to worry about and so I love the idea of having someone just almost be almost like you're bowling yeah and they're the bumpers they're the bumpers that way your head doesn't go in the gutter and you can just yeah yeah I don't bowl without bumpers I'm that girl but anyways if you're experiencing any big life change it doesn't have to be like moving houses or even having a baby maybe you're graduating and you're getting ready to go to school or you're recently engaged I feel like there's almost every life season you're dealing with some sort of change and if that change is bringing up any stress or anxiety etc we highly recommend checking out BetterHelp getting matched you can use our code there'll be a link in the description below it's betterhelp.com slash mastersvm10 it'll get you 10% off your first month and yeah we've loved them we have so many friends who've used and love them as well okay so now I feel like the question that you all have been waiting for is tell us the major reason for your move and I also feel like it is kind of mixed with another question why did it happen so fast give us the details these are two juicy ones yeah and you're looking at me yeah you want me to I mean I can go into it but you say I share so many details and I feel like it'll be a very long very long video if I start I'm just thinking of how much I want to share in terms of how much time I want to take of yours I think we had to be really in tune with the holy spirit and his promptings I don't want to over spiritualize this but I'll share a few dynamics because this is really important to me number one we knew that house was always a temporary house that house got us to Tennessee but we always knew we wanted something different and so that was a lovely thing that really served its purpose but on a superficial level there was a lot of construction happening and it was super unhealthy for our family um it was really tough like the not just construction noise but even the honking and I may even put a few samples of that in this video that I want you guys to think about having a busy street and busy construction around you and then I want you to make it way worse as in Saturday night at like 6 30 p.m. just still hammering still and it's like echoing all the way to them dropping dumpsters at 5 a.m. in the morning which they're not allowed to do right next to our bedroom right next to our bedroom window and it's waking Tory up it's waking Micah up it's waking Noah up and on a superficial sense we were really losing our peace in the house um and that was honestly kind of tough especially with having little ones right yeah and so we were doing our best to kind of cope with it but then as we kind of did the math of how many houses are still to be built and right beside ours like wow this is gonna last for another like two years and we're like can we handle that and then at the same time our oldest son Micah is becoming so fun and I don't want to get emotional I'm gonna get emotional for sure he just looks out the window and he just wants to go outside and I can't let him go because of all the trucks zooming by when I say zooming it's like it's inappropriate in terms of their speed and I can't trust him just because he doesn't understand you know stay in our yard right now I I want him to have um I want him to be a boy I want him to explore I want him to have fun and run and I don't want him to feel so trapped in our house and so I told Tori that after Noah was born I was like I feel like Noah's gonna be well he's gonna want to be just like his big brother yeah because his big brother's gonna be a leader and I want to win their hearts I want to pursue their hearts and for me I would rather live in a much older house that doesn't have as nice stuff if that means that I'm winning the heart of my family if that means I have space to pursue them and not feel like a ball of stress inside the house because I can't get my work done because their naps are being cut short and then I can't let them go outside so they're getting so pent up and it's just it just wasn't a great situation for our family but it's a great situation for a lot of people in that neighborhood so many people love it it just didn't fit us for me I wanted to win my family's heart and that was the big deal breaker for me um is that is that house going to help me win my family's heart it's like no there's a better opportunity out there and we took it yeah and so that's that's the heart behind why we moved yeah can I tackle why so fast so I feel like Chad's piece was leaving I feel like it left Chad's piece left before my piece left I think I think I was very much still in the like okay I'm super pregnant I'm nesting we have a baby coming I'm like you know I love interior design I'm like gonna design any place we live in even if it's like for a short period of time and that's why we still wanted to post the house tour and everything like that we still worked really hard to like make that place our home and I'm so happy that we got to bring Noah into this world there like it just felt so right but it was like right after having Noah that the sleep deprivation started really getting to me and when the construction started like waking me and Noah up in addition to Micah I was like okay babe I'm starting to feel what you've been feeling and we just like opened back up the search and honestly God opened a door and it it was so funny because we walked into the backyard felt the presence of the Holy Spirit still we're like I don't know if we're gonna be able to do this this is crazy I'm so early postpartum like all of the things but then we started talking to some trusted friends and we prayed about it and we were like you know what let's hold this super open-handed let's just put in an offer let's just like see what God has and if he closes the door the door is shut and it's not a big deal we'll keep on living our life and honestly with like within like 12 hours um things were moving we were under contract and it was just super super wild and we were like wow we're we're doing this like God opened the door and we're gonna run through it but we got to stay in the house for a couple more weeks and kind of like adjust and like get our minds around it and then it just like happened yeah um and it is funny living in like a on like your life is online but it's also like still our private life you know and so sometimes we post things like after the fact because we're still very much like processing and making decisions as a family and so we thought it would be really fun to like post the video and then plot twist like our life change because that's kind of what it felt like for us it happened so fast that like on a Wednesday we went and talked to our realtor who's a very close friend of ours yeah on on Friday a house was was coming soon Saturday we saw it Sunday we were under contract the next Saturday the next the next Saturday we'd sold our home yeah all within basically I want to say like say 10 days everything had happened yeah and and it was just wild I mean even like our family and our friends that we told they were like wait what and we're like yeah same like we feel the same we're like wait what just happened but I do feel like when crazy things happen like this and you still have peace yeah you know it's from God yeah um there's another question that I wanted uh to tackle and it is how do you know God's will if he wants you to move or stay where you're at and I feel like we've said it a hundred times and we'll say it again when it's God number one you're like okay this is only going to happen if it's God's will yeah which for us when we put in the offer we were like this is only going to happen like if this is what God has for us yes like if he gives us favor and then it like felt like oh that'll be confirmation and we felt like we had that confirmation and then yeah if that peace surrounds it and so if you're like making a decision and underlyingly maybe there's a fear right but then you're like okay I'm gonna look at that fear as an opportunity to press into the Lord and be like okay God I don't want to make decisions based on fear I don't want to be crippled by fear and so let me take this fear and bring it to you and see how I can move forward in like courageous faith and I feel like that was like very much how this happened yeah and I think two quick things I think that there's like the known will of God yeah and then there's the unknown will of God that's being discovered and so the known will of God is is how you love the Lord and how you love your neighbor and how you work with excellence and how you know love is patient love is kind all those wonderful adjectives of of the word love then there's the unknown part where sometimes that involves a bunch of prayer time maybe some testing but also for me the biggest thing it is is holding my hands like this yeah I think whenever we're gripping too tight to something like this number one we don't have space to receive what else God has for us but then whenever it's being taken away we don't want it taken away and we're not allowing things to be given or taken away and so I think what's helped kind of what we mentioned that first question is not making an idol of your home or your calling or your life stage or your life situation but being really open to God's direction and now granted do I hope that God leaves us here for a while yes I do and so I'm not I'm not denying emotions I'm not denying emotions that are attached to that what I'm saying is I'm just learning to really hold it open-handed because I'm someone who struggles with like with I want what God has but then I also still want what I want you know what I mean I'm sure you all can empathize with that and so I'm constantly reminding myself that no like it's all God's and then it's my responsibility to steward it and and work with excellence and be honorable and be kind and generous with that but that's it and it's it's not mine to own I'm a steward a steward is someone who manages what God what God has given you it's not mine to own it's mine to steward and mine to take care of and so I think that's where it takes some of the pressure off of doing everything perfectly because guess what and I don't want to yank my family to and fro and to and fro in a really unreasonable way but if God said hey you made a mistake here you did the wrong thing then I'm gonna say okay Lord I repent I'm gonna repent to my family I'm gonna say we have to go where God's calling us and so it's never gonna be a perfect picture in your pursuit of God's unknown will but as long as you're trying to do God's known will inside of it that that really means for something yeah sorry nature outdoors y'all okay last question this is how to stay consistent in the word when your house is not settled and you have no routine I think number one just real quick I want to open up that if any of you have advice on this put it in the comments yeah because Tori and I are learning how to do this like yeah this is perfect I'm not gonna put your name on blast but you know who you are same you know we're trying to find that same thing and I think an encouragement that we have is we've put a little bit less focus on the routine and more on on like family rhythms like how is our family going to refresh versus what are the like specific dates and times and hours that we're gonna have this routine in life because right now as you all probably know like what if your newborn wakes up early like is that throws off your routine so rather having a rhythm yeah of how will we refresh or how will we connect with God yeah it's almost more of like a dance rather than a structured regimented perfect situation and I always say to you make time for what is a priority to you and for me I'm like okay if I find time to watch a show right then I have time to open the word of God and so something that's really helped me is keeping the Bible out and open around the house and so I can actually like read scripture throughout the day because I'm like it's open and it's in front of me and then also there's an app or it's like on Spotify and Apple Music called Streetlights and it'll actually like read you scripture and then something I also love to do is like watch sermons or listen to worship music while I'm showering or while I'm getting ready or while I'm putting on my makeup just finding those little pockets of time especially as me of a new mom of two under two like my pockets look different every day like I don't get to shower every single day like I don't get to like do those things every single day and so every single day it looks different because my days are looking different right now but just yeah finding what works for you I think this kind of coattails the previous question too can I share something with you that I'm feeling pretty convicted of we we currently do not have any TVs in the house and life has been a little bit better yeah and hear me I love TV I love movies I love shows I love sports yeah yeah and so I think that this is the same type of thing as holding things open-handed is being open to what God is doing like is God teaching us right now that hey you don't you don't need TVs in your house the time that you were wasting on TV even though you really enjoy it should be spent with me because we're struggling to find that routine or rhythm yeah and so maybe this is our season where it's like hey we're in a season where we have a lot of being pulled in different ways okay no no TV for a season and you know and I again let us say this we love like having like a pizza and watching a TV show yeah like that's like we love it it's like the best and so I'm not knocking TV what I'm saying is I think for our family right now I think life is better under it yeah it's so nice outside too you know yeah it's like if we have the free time like let's let's come outside and enjoy our family time and yeah yeah so I love it yeah let's not put them up yeah I know yeah but just being open to what God is doing chasing his peace and being open to you know whatever change that may look like or maybe it doesn't look like change maybe it's right where you are but either way we're just not making an idol out of a home or our lifestyle or anything but focusing on what's really important which I think is so cliche the older we get the more we're starting to realize that all that stuff we were chasing so much it sometimes felt like we already had you know we were running away from the things that we deeply wanted in pursuit of things that were maybe you know flashy or maybe what the culture was saying this is cool at the time you know now looking back you're just kind of like dang like okay I live the lifestyle that didn't have so much peace because I was running from the peace that I already had you know in Christ and so yeah doing a lot of growing up over here yeah how do you feel anything else you want to share love that we get to grow up with y'all yes yeah yeah that's all for this video I'm sure that we will give you more details and show you around more and all that stuff here to come lots of moving pieces over here and again if you um if you're someone who's who's considering trying out a therapist consider trying out better help um it's worth trying if you're someone who's on the fence of it um I've benefited from years of therapy so um Victoria's like I testify so if you do want to take that next step you can go to betterhelp.com master spam 10 and you answer a few questions and from there you'll get master the professional who has years of experience helping people with whatever it is you're struggling with so take advantage of the special discount in the first month when you use our link in the description or choose the master spam channel during your sign up all right you guys we love you we hope you are encouraged thanks for life with us love y'all bye