My wife gave me a BAD quarantine haircut

I could have been blinded. Why is that funny? Here we go. Strap yourselves in. It's going to be a wild one. Morning Claire. It's vlog time. Hey guys. Congratulations. You've got another vlog. Big day today. Huge day. Huge day. Big day. It is Saturday morning for us. I sent my barbecues away. And they've been... To get cleaned. Yeah, to get cleaned. So I want to start doing some barbecuing this weekend. It's not warm weather obviously. But it's not raining at the moment. And I'm hoping it's not going to rain tomorrow as well. Because that's when I'm going to do some barbecuing. So we're going to tidy up the garden a little bit today. Strap yourselves in. It's going to be a wild one. I'm having this coffee before we go out there. Also it's freezing. Yeah, it's really cold. Also Claire doesn't like doing this. But I've been told it's a good idea to ask if you would like to subscribe to the channel. At the beginning of the video. Don't forget to hit that like button and subscribe. Well, that's what I'm saying. Don't forget to hit the like button and subscribe. And turn on your notifications. There we go. I've done it, right? Listen, if we don't get a load of subscribers now because I've done that. I won't do it again. But, however, seeing that. Do subscribe. Well do, but also really grateful to the people that have. Yeah, it's been brilliant, hasn't it? It's been really good, so thank you so much. You've got to hurry up and drink that coffee because I'm losing. Right, well I told you before you came downstairs, I said I'm having a coffee. If you want to go out and start one in the garage, then do that. Alright, I'll do that. Alright, at the moment this thing's set on suck. And you've got to take it apart and set it on blow. Our carpet's frozen because we didn't take it back in. Do you know what you're doing? Huh? Do you know what you're doing? I don't actually, but, you know, that's all part of life, I guess. One minute it was roasting, and then the next minute it just would not stop raining. And we just never really had a chance to get everything in properly. This carpet, for instance, like it was just soaking before we knew it. It was done for. It was done for. I had to get the kids in. Get you in. Women and children first, and then I went in. Unfortunately we couldn't save the carpet. Bloody expensive outdoor rug. Wrecked. Listen, it's just another lesson on how to be a grown-up. And we're slowly getting there. Are we? I don't think we are. Yeah, we are. We've grown up a lot over the last year. Right, let's do this. Great, yeah. That's just making a huge mess. It's quite fun. Shall I have a turn? No, I don't think you'll enjoy it. Well, we've collected a lot of leaves, but there's still a lot left. Everything's just frozen, Claire. I know, it's too early in the year. I know you want to barbeque, but you're just going to have to barbeque and then come in. We're not going to get it looking good yet. It's too cold. To be fair though, we had two mountain-sized piles of leaves that we managed to get rid of. It's too cold. Alright, let's go in. Do you want a hot chocolate? I don't really like hot chocolate. I'll just have a cup of tea. Alright. This is all because barbeques are coming. He would never be out there doing this if it wasn't because he wanted to bloody play on barbeques. Right, listen. We've got rid of a lot of leaves then. Just don't you see the garden's just a mess now until the spring? Which is a shame, because when it looks good, we got it looking really good last year. Eww! Yeah, I'm covered in snot. Can I show that on camera or is that going to gross people out? I mean, it's gross. This is all just snot. I just wouldn't go like that. Yeah, we get it. So Jay from Alton's Barbeque World is going to be here in about ten minutes. Can you have people deliver stuff to your garden? I don't know. I don't know either. We might need to look that up quickly. I'm sure if it's a delivery, you must be able to. See you, Jay. Bye. I spoke to Jay and he said that because garden centres are essential. Oh yeah, because it's a garden centre, isn't it? So basically all they're doing is delivering and stuff at the moment. So they're allowed to drop off in the back garden as long as we stay two metres apart and wear masks. Right, the guys have turned up with the old barbecues. I'm just going to drop them off in the garden for me. I'm wearing a mask as well because I just want to be safe, obviously. I'm one of the people that has taken this seriously. There we go. It's good as new. Yeah, the smoker was a mess. It was. I don't know how he got like that. Nice one, guys. Go and check them out, Alton's Barbeque World. That's good as new, that. That is blinding, that. They've done an incredible job. Absolutely incredible. So now I'm going to go and marinate my steaks. Right, so I've showered. The barbecues have been put away, but I wanted to get my steaks in this marinade because I want them to be in there as long as possible for when we start grilling them tomorrow. This marinade is amazing, right? Whenever I do it, people are proper impressed, aren't they? It's my favourite. It's the easiest thing in the world. It's so easy. This is my favourite thing that you do. Do you want to stand here and tell me what to get and I'll get it? Since this is your segment. This is my segment, yeah. So I need some extra virgin olive oil. I need some balsamic vinegar. I need some Worcestershire sauce. I need some soy sauce. And garlic. I'm going to use garlic powder. I just want to show you how easy this can be. Salt and pepper? No. No salt and pepper on the steak? No, you get salt from the soy there. Oh, okay. Right, I'm not sure if these are official measurements, but this is how I like to do it. Can you grab the steaks for me? Sure. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get them all in one of these things. Right, I'll do 16 teaspoons of olive oil. One. It's not a teaspoon. Two, three, four. Tablespoon. And then just eight of everything else. Eight bowls of balsamic vinegar. Six, seven, eight. Eight Worcestershire. Five, six, seven. You know there are different cups and stuff? I know, yeah. Usually I'd use a sirloin. We've got a couple of sirloins here. These two are sirloin. That's rump and that's rump. That's fine, I'm just going to stick them all in. One, two, seven, eight. So where did you get this recipe for this marinade? I must have found it online or something. Just found it somewhere? Yeah. Garlic powder, just as much as you like. Oh, a lot, please. Yeah, I like a lot of garlic powder. A lot of garlic. Look at that. So easy. Then just get your steak. And that's it. That's all there is to that. And then, as we say in the business, we put a lid on it. Put that on a t-shirt. Can use Ziploc bags if you want. A lot of people do. I just like this. And then I'll leave this now for over a day. So like every sort of, I don't know, whenever you can remember really, just come back and give it a shake. So you're putting them in the fridge? Yeah, put them in the fridge now. That's well easy. And it's well tasty. Whenever I've made these steaks for people and they've come over and stuff, they go, that's really good. Oh my god, okay. So my new picture that I managed to just frame, it's broken now. Because it was up on this picture shelf. Why are you laughing? But I just shut the door and it fell. The worst thing is, is that you were stood in front of me and you went, oh god! And you looked up, so I looked up and the thing landed on my face. Has it gone big? It landed right here. It hurt so much. It landed right on my, I looked up and it landed on my face. We're filming everything at the moment to try and make sure that we catch the gold. I don't know why I didn't go like that. If someone looks up above you and goes, oh s***, you go like that or something. I just went like that. Why are you laughing? Really, really hurt. It really hurt. You're lucky it landed above your eye and not in your eye. Why is that funny? Blinded, why is that funny? Look at you, you're crying. Is it broken? Yeah, I just bought that f***ing frame. It just popped through, it's not broken. Is it not? No, it'll be alright. That's the main thing then. Oh, I think there's actually a cut. Yeah, it does! You're weird, you're supposed to be trying to make me feel better. What do you want me to do? Oh, I can't believe we weren't filming that. I know, I know. Can you imagine the slow motion? Could have sent it to Gavin, he could have done the slow-mo guys. Yeah. I feel like I can see my eyebrow. Like I can see here. Alright, relax. It's not that bad. What are we doing? You know, it's Sunday morning, my hair is getting a bit annoying. It's at a length where it's poking into my eyes. It's very long. Obviously we can't go to hairdressers. Are you a hairdresser? I am not. Claire's going to cut my hair for me. The last time you cut it, it was a bit weird, wasn't it? I tell you what, the first time I did it, it wasn't too bad. The second time I did it, it was quite good, wasn't it? But the last time... The last time it was too long and you struggled being able to cut it and this time it's much, much longer than it was the last time. We'll give it a go, see what happens. Let me just say this now then, I do not care. Yeah, you've got no experience cutting hair or anything, have you? None. Okay, here we go. I feel you sort of shaking a little bit. I'm shaking a little bit. It's not making me feel very confident. I've had two coffees and nothing to eat, so I'm a bit... I'm going to have a shower today, yeah? Have you already had a shower? No, I had one yesterday. You know I don't like showering. Yesterday's shower was supposed to last me the next four or five days. How long or short do you want the fringe? Short as possible. The short or the serious? Yeah, I want it cut off. Aye, aye, aye. If I do this and you love it, people are going to be like, holy moly, she's butchered them. But it's what you like. Alright, here goes. I can already tell that's not nearly enough. You're going to have to cut more of it off. Would you just relax? Give me a minute. You want to have a look? It's really good. Do you like it? I think that's the best I'm going to do and I kind of want to stop while I'm slightly ahead. A little bit of fringe. I think I have. Oh, you're joking. I think I have. You're joking. No, I think I f***ed up the fringe. I know, I was looking at it and thinking that was fine. Yeah, you f***ed it. Why did you do that? I was trying to make it better. It looks really good. No, don't do it anymore. No, wait. There was a big heavy bit. It always looks better once you do it. It's a shame that because it looked quite good. I was quite pleased with it. See, but you told me to go shorter on the fringe. I know and then you handed me the mirror because I didn't have any expectations. I thought it was going to look s*** and then you handed me the mirror and it didn't look that s*** but it is s*** so it's fine. I'm going to go and have a shower and zoom in. Go and zoom in. Listen, it's nearly 3 o'clock. I want this to be timed to perfection. So at 3 we need to put some wedges in the oven and that's when I'm going to start heating up the coals. Anyway, you need to get on ready to do the wedges in about 5 minutes. You handle wedges, I handle the meat. You know I'm a good meat handler. I'm actually going to light the coals now and get them hot and ready. How are you going to do that? So you might want to get yourself a little jumper on because we've got to go outside now for a bit. I really don't want to go outside. Well, you've got to. Get yourself a little chimney, coal fire starter thing there. Chuck a couple of tumbleweeds. Are they actually called tumbleweeds? Yeah. See, I don't use any chemicals. I don't use any like petroleum or anything like that. This is the best way of getting your coals to start without having to use any fire lighter or anything like that. Leave them there for about 20 minutes or so. They'll get red hot. Dunk them in. Put your grill on. Dunk what in? The coals. Put your grill on and then you're having a laugh. Look at this temperature. I am going to go and get a drink now because standing up here I think I deserve one. Don't get me. Well, you look great. I've had this steak sitting in this marinade now for over 24 hours. Hair. Oh yeah, the hair. What do people think of the hair? Go on, give us a spin. Come on, not bad. Now the hat will be back next video. Give us a little mod vibe that you like. We've got our sign up here. It's like a little chalkboard sign and we usually have some song lyrics or something. Or a quote or something. Something cool. But we couldn't think of anything. Something cool, maybe something creepy. And we just thought maybe if you can think of a cool song lyric or maybe something that a serial killer once said. So let us know in the comments if you've got a good quote and we'll put it up on the chalkboard for the next vlog. We'll need to pick one that we like. Our neighbours are going to think we're nuts when they smell the barbecues on. I mean, we are nuts. I did a little Instagram today. A little ask me a question. And got a lot of questions or a lot of things saying Can you say hi to James? Can you say hi to James right now? I'll tell you what we did get. Somebody asking if the gingerbread street sign was done and it's not. No, it's not. We forgot about that. There we go. Did you put screws in the wall just to hang this up? I'm going to put something else up there. Calm your wee self down. The minute you sober up that's when I get kicked out of the house I think. Once you start getting your vision back what? Woah! Are we still married? What happened to your hair? You need to get these wedges on. Yeah, now? Yeah, baby. Give these a little shake out. Yeah, these are going to be great. When I was queuing up at the co-op there was someone maybe there while I was queuing. That's not two metres at all. That's barely a metre. Yeah, what did you do? I kept looking at their feet and looking at them. Every time I'm in a queue so you're being me, right? You're me waiting for every time I'm in a queue I get the person who's like this. Yeah, you do. And we laugh about it. Every time! And then I'll take a little step forward and they'll just come right up behind me. Yeah, that does happen to you a lot. Why? People want to be close to you. But wouldn't it have been bad if when I was in that co-op queue that I did go, can you step back? Yeah, then you would have been Then I'd look like a d***head. But wouldn't it have been bad if I went mate, step back a bit, will you? Like, come on, pandemic and all this. And he went, you f***ing what? Wouldn't it be bad if he then beat me up put me in hospital and then I caught Covid? Or if you already had Covid you caught it! I make his head. These are ready to go. OK. Oh God! Watch out, don't let that touch you. This is the Weber Kettle Performer, I believe. It says Performer on the side. Basically all it means is that it's got this little side table which is very, very handy. For? Putting stuff on. It's usually what a table does. Listen, stop worrying about the state of the garden. We'll have this all tidied up and ready in the spring. Yeah, no, I know. I just don't want people to think we're... People already know. Listen, people know we're scum. We're not scum. We're scummy. Scummy. Don't go too far, alright? That's what people like about us. They go, do you know what? You're just a couple of common dirtbags. Here's the steakies. On a direct heat. Those coals are roasting hot. They're ready to go. You should pour some more on the floor. I will. There you go. It's yours. I was actually kind of looking forward to being like... That's so good. All those flavours from the marinade are in that meat and it tastes absolutely amazing and it does impress people and it's so easy. I'm quite hard to impress. But this steak... Oh my god, I love it. I will say this. That marinade will make any steak taste amazing. It just will. So my and Gladys works for a company called Galloway and I think they distribute meat to supermarkets and stuff and this was part of where we got the big meat delivery and all the steaks and stuff. We stuck them in the freezer because we knew we weren't going to have a chance to eat them over Christmas. Took them out last night and oh my god, they're delicious. They are really, really delicious. So this is the next thing that I'm looking forward to doing. This is a beef rib roast. I've done beef ribs before. This is like a joint but I'm thinking of smoking these at some point. They'll need to be smoked because it's not like steak where you can just chuck them on and they're done after three minutes. But I'm really looking forward to having some fun with these. That's what gets me going. My favourite, favourite thing they do is those steaks. That marinade is so good. Go and try it. If you do try it, comment or something like that. Let us know. Tag us on Instagram. Show us if you make these. It's a picture of my tattoo. Show me if you make these steaks. I'd love to know. You've got to give them a day. A day marinating. Don't give them half an hour or something like that. Also, as you know by now surely, I love barbecuing. I'm not saying I'm any good at it but I'm passionate about it. What do you do that I should do that would be fun and interesting? I'd love to know. Also, by the way, this one here, she just said to me that she was ready to mug me off and say that the steak was s***. If it wasn't good, she would have said so. There you go. That's the end of another vlog. Tune in next week. I don't want to say that. You don't want to say that? Do you just yet? Alright, there you go guys. That's another vlog for you. I hope you enjoyed it. We're going to... Alright. I choked on my own spit there. Next week, I think we're going to do... I'm going to drink through it. Alright. Alright guys, there you go. There's another vlog. We've done it. You just watched it. Thank you so much for watching. Hopefully, we'll be back next week with another vlog. Hopefully? Why? What might happen? You don't know what's going to happen. One of us could die? I think we're going to play Mr. and Mrs. Are you going to be truthful? I want the points. Alright, look forward to that guys.