Our one year update to (how) God wrote our love story

Can you believe we've been married for a whole year? I started taking this YouTube journey serious back when we got married. I decided that I was going to create consistent content and I was able to get this channel monetized through my obedience and I thank God there's something fascinating about being in God's timing because if it wasn't for our marriage I don't know if it would have been time yet. It's almost as if the marriage was the key necessary for me to step into content creation gracefully. It was a part of my testimony. I had been living between the word and a couple of God's promises and you are a manifestation of what God said. How does it feel to be at a year and know you are an answer to my prayer? It feels good. Time flies. I can't believe we're already at a year. It's been an amazing journey. We've been through ups and downs but thank God we are still here. I'm excited for many more years to come. Many more years to come. I'm excited to have my husband on today. The growth I've seen you experience over the last 12 months because at the beginning of the 12 months when we got married my job ended two days before our wedding and it was so much stress because I felt I had to fulfill a role that God never said specifically with being a provider and the Lord revealed to me that I wasn't built to provide. You were. You're wired to carry the pressure of provision and anxiety and fear had been holding me hostage and shout out to Dr. Alexis because she called it out and helped me walk through it and release it. Since she prayed for me I haven't had the worry of tomorrow. It's almost as if I am standing on do not be anxious for tomorrow for tomorrow. Is its own trouble. And that's Matthew 6 34. Yeah it's right after seek first the kingdom of righteousness and everything you need will be added on to you. God provided what I needed and it was you. I didn't know to pray for you in the way that you have revealed yourself. There are characteristics you have that I didn't know I needed the iron sharpening iron refinement sanctification process. I've talked publicly about how marriage has been challenging in concept. It's beautiful in theory the application kicked my butt because I had to die to myself and allow myself to be made more like Christ through this process. This is just year one. Thank God for community and yes people in our community always let us know that the first year is hard. But they even say that one to seven be hard. How has it been hard for you? I had to die to myself and realize I'm not always going to get my way. I had to prioritize my time. I can't be in the gym forever. I'd be in the gym too. My workout just be like 30 minutes yours be like three hours. No like two hours because I play ball go on a sauna lift weights. Letting my emotions get the best of me and being patient. I've been told that I am patient but I wasn't patient enough. That's what the first year has been teaching me to be more patient more gentle. It's interesting we moved recently prior to getting married about a month before getting married I moved into the apartment that we would spend our year. Moved separate because we weren't married and you had to work. Moving into our home together after being together for a year and now we're in this place like it's just so much more peace here. About a month ago on a Sunday my pastor is in this resurrecting the radical series. He really had this convicting repentance message just seeing that what we have gone through has prepared us for where we are today. We haven't backslidden. We're just burnt out. God is looking for a fresh yes. He's looking for us to stop being complacent. I was convicted through that message. Meditated on it and thought about it chewed on it and then that night right before you got home from work I had this moment of surrendering again giving God a fresh yes just on the floor. You came in laid down with me prayed over me then you laid on the couch. I felt the pressure released sat back on my hands and you made the comment that you noticed that we've been able to sleep better in this place. You asked if I noticed we both have been able to sleep better like there's been more joy on this side and as you say that this spider comes out of nowhere literally and flies across the carpet. I scream he jumps down on the floor to kill it and a few days later the Lord showed me how that spider was a representation of the death and the end of the hardship of that season and that now we are going to experience the fullness and joy of I would say the honeymoon phase. I don't think there was ever a honeymoon phase. I feel like it's always been this sober decision and it's been very humbling. It has been very humbling. I thank God for my wife even in the marriage I had some times where I was like not too proud of myself because sometimes I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be. I put a lot of pressure on myself. My wife always lets me know I'm exactly where I need to be. Come on somebody. And it's all a process about trusting God. Impatience is a form of unbelief. When I struggle I ask God to help my unbelief because God is not in a rush so why am I in a rush? My wife be preaching to me and I thank God for that. I'll be having front row seat to it. When you're in relationship with God, walking with God, making decisions from the place of relationship with God how can you be behind? How can you miss out? How can you not be where God said you were to be? It's interesting you had this self-imposed pressure of being somewhere God never ordained you. I had this pressure of being someone God never ordained me to be. We both had to mature, humble ourselves, repent, and serve one another better. That's why there's been more joy in our marriages. Being humble is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. We have been thinking of ourselves less and making decisions from a united front. To serve each other. Yeah. My thing is That's the thing. I'm focusing on the horizontal instead of the vertical. Now that I'm focusing more on the vertical I don't care if other people are doing better than me. I'm focusing on what God has for me and orchestrating my steps. And running our race and running our race well. When we get to heaven we want well done my good and faithful servant. Not hey this is what I have for you but you are comparing yourself to Jimmy. Jimmy wasn't even living a life sold out for Christ. One thing I have been checked on with the Lord is when you compare you're saying to yourself and to the Lord that you also want what they are struggling with. That's coveting. I don't. God bless them. God bless you. Your life, your story, your journey. But I don't want your struggle or your hardship. No baby you was built for that. And God has built us for a specific purpose. And I blame it on social media. Which is why I'm taking a step back from Insta and TikTok to be more intentional with cultivating just community around YouTube and Substack and getting off the hamster wheel of fast paced content. I'm realizing social media has created this narrative around a life we think we should live. Since I've been off social media I worry less, consume less, and create more. I've spent more time in the presence of the Lord because I don't have this distraction. And I just thank God for you. I was talking to one of my friends yesterday about how so many of us look at what other people are doing or what they post and what it is perceived as. But we don't often get to see the behind the scenes or what that individual is actually having to walk through from the outside. It's like wow God told you to move to Texas by faith. God said your husband was in that season and your husband came and it's like those are milestones and markers to the faithfulness of God because he is not a man that should lie. However we don't talk about the three years leading up to or the year and a half of walking through to get to the altar and having to have really hard conversations or when the last relationship I was in ended and there was no prospect in sight, no idea of moving to Texas and the only word I had was to go back home to walk out. What you have learned in an environment you perceive pain, nobody talks about when you graduate from college and give God this fresh yes in 2017 and it's not until 2021 you see the things you have done behind the scenes start to come to the surface and by time it comes to the surface you're now a bit further in the newer thing that God is dealing with in your heart and it's easy to see what it is that's happening on the outside and not realizing what the person is experiencing in the middle. Talking to my friend earlier I was telling her since the pandemic whoo I have been babbling all the heart things there hasn't been a moment of stopping. I feel like I've been on this roller coaster and it's one thing after another pandemic, lose your job, build your business, move to Texas, bring the husband, get married, go back into full-time entrepreneurship. It's taken me even 12 months to really surrender to this idea of being provided by you and trusting God on my end the way he desires and not what my perception says. As a man you want control of certain things but in this season I'm learning God wants my wife and I to be fully dependent on him. Sometimes I don't know what it looks like and especially I'm Haitian I grew up learning you have to work hard for what you want to go further in life. Sometimes it's not all about working hard it's about working smart, being creative. My wife is a creative she has a lot of gifts we just have to cultivate it and remain dependent on God and then tap into it and get into that secret place. My wife challenged me to fast more because I wasn't consistent with it. Being consistent with it looks like fasting once a week. I decided to give my Wednesdays to God where I go the whole day with fasting and I realized when I do fast start to read the word. When my wife and I sit down and talk about the word the conversation is great as the presence of the Lord is there we hear him clearly. It's always important to go into that secret place and don't give God your crumbs but give him more of your time. How do we expect God to do certain things in our lives if we've just given him crumbs? It doesn't make sense. And your girl was giving him crumbs. I'd gotten so focused in just the frustration and the disappointment of the season that I just brought God along and it was through your convictions your accountability that I now start my day with him. I'll wake up in the morning and just lay in bed and read my bible or read the commentary sometimes I'll come and sit on the couch but I have to prioritize giving God the first of my day. It took some kicking and screaming to get here. It wasn't an automatic thing. It was a you don't know my relationship with God pride which iron sharp as iron and I thank God that you are mature enough to hear the things that I say and not be like I'm a man I run this. You play around with that sometimes but I thank God that you are sensitive enough to listen to the God in me and champion the God in me when it comes to this video. I'm proud of you for being on this video talking and showing more of your personality you're doing a great job if you go back and look at the video we did about how God wrote our love story you'll see I remember somebody called me out they were like you you need to let him talk more and at the time and still a little bit now I'm the more outspoken one my husband is very mellow he is definitely behind the scenes man so for him to be on this camera is truly a blessing okay and it it just speaks to God's transformative power it speaks to the maturity that he's doing in us it shows how iron truly does sharpen iron and it has not been a cakewalk it has been sacrifice and intentionality and tough conversations and looking in the mirror and bringing in accountability it's been getting to the point where we we even entertain divorce to some extent and then our accountability is like all right enough is enough like you made a covenant before the Lord you can't walk away from this I must say this even though there were times personally I did threaten divorce but it was out of my immaturity even though I did threaten her with that I never could picture myself actually going through with that I really love this woman you know she is my rib and I definitely have to be nice and I'm definitely living out Proverbs 18 22 and it says he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord you know and ever since I met Janae got married to her the favor of God has been even more since I found my wife God knew it was time for me to be yoked with my wife I remember back when we were dating processing through some things and it was this moment and I've had these moments lately where I'm just like wow God who am I that you are mindful of me that you would bring this manner of man who is faithful and consistent in truly walking in the purity of you it's very humbling that God saw fit for me to cover Janae and be her helpmate she has a mighty anointing on her life and some people have prophesied to me to sometimes it takes somebody else to tell you for you to see that you don't really see it prophecy is it's being able to look at somebody and pull the future into now based off of the heart of the father towards them Janae knows the word she studies it I'm proud of her when I see her preaching that church it's because she practices online that's why pastor is able to trust that and it's exciting to see the Holy Spirit use her when we have children we're gonna raise them up in the way they should go they won't depart from it because they have two parents doing the work our children are gonna walk with God because we walk we walk with God yeah and we won't live a double life what you see is what you get we are behind closed doors is who we are in front of people that's it this isn't for show I don't got it in me to get on here and fake the funk because I wear all my emotions on my collar and my sleeve I personally don't like to be on video but when it's giving God glory come on I'll do it oh man we have hit a year a year of marriage yeah 365 it went by fast it did we blinked yeah I'm flying what's next like what do you look forward to going into this new year going into this new year I'm excited to see what God is going to do in our lives I feel like we're about to start living out the prophetic words spoken over us looking forward to that process I look forward to seeing the promises of God come to pass in this year of life whatever it looks like I don't know like I've been humbled these last few years where God wanted me to be more content and present I look forward to this year being whatever God wants as long as we're doing the last thing he told us and resting in his presence prioritizing him and you and I are on one accord I know you are moving into the fitness realm I love fitness and I'll be focusing on growing my business really leaning into what God wants me to do with this community and design and branding and all the fun things I'm most excited that I get to keep living life with you likewise and as long as I have you in my corner I'm gonna be all right it's gonna be all right baby God has a to any man out there looking for his future wife be patient yeah spend time with God because when I was praying for Janae it was just me and God I was just focused on God I was not pressed about looking for my wife because one thing that I want to do out there is make looking for your wife an idol focus on God and he will send your future wife and it'll be beautiful it will be beautiful and the women out there that desire marriage God gave you that desire if you have that desire so give it back to him allow him to bring it in his timing and you be obedient to go through the refinement be the best version of yourself put your hand to your plow grow in community get planted in a bible base with church like travel live it up in community and when God says get in position get in position that's it for me us position was a dating app for me position was a dating app and Gene was sensitive enough to not allow his pride to stop him from getting on that app and I did ask God I would love to meet my future wife in person because I didn't want to use dating apps anymore but God had other plans and I'm glad I got back on the dating app because if I didn't I would never have met Janae or I don't know what God would have done God would have done something amazing done a miracle but he used modern technology yes God works in mysterious ways and and just be sensitive to the Holy Spirit I know a lot of people don't like using social media or dating apps because we do live in a fallen world a catfish yeah society but just lean on the Holy Spirit absolutely he'll lead you to make the right decision hey well you heard it here folks we just hit a year we thank you guys for rocking with us if you got questions go ahead and drop them in the chat me and my husband will be answering them gotta bring them back okay he's trying to run from it he can't run from it gotta bring you back baby I'll be here he'll be y'all I got it on camera for those of you who are new here my name is Janae Carley my goal is to help you grow in life faith in business go ahead and hit the subscribe button until next time holla peace