Jennifer Tilly talks "A Dog's Perfect Christmas" and more

All I'm proposing is you get to know us, one-on-one, and then, you know, we'll maybe take it from there. Come on. What do you have in mind? I love the narration of the dog. Please welcome one of the stars of A Dog's Perfect Christmas, Jennifer Tilly. Thank you for being here. Thank you. Yes, Thomas Hayden Church did the voice of the dog. I love it. He did such a great job because it's a very heartwarming movie. My sister loved it. She's like, it's so cozy. The dogs are so cute. I love the Christmas decorations. Oh, yeah. Are you ready for the holidays? Well, you know, it's really every year my boyfriend is so hard to buy things for. Why is it always the men who are the toughest? I don't know. That's actually them. I used to buy him very expensive presents and he'd be embarrassed. Like I got him a Louis Vuitton roller board with his initials on it. And he was like, oh my gosh, I can't be dragging that along. People will stare at me. And then once I got him a watch with his face on it and black diamonds. And he wore it once. He's a professional poker player. He wore it on TV. But then he never wore it again. So now, you know, he likes things like fluffy socks and funky T-shirts. More fun for you. Yes. That's right. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. The people who say they want socks, they actually want socks. It's wild. Yes. He wants things that he can use, actually use. He doesn't like fancy. And it's funny because we're, I'm so fancy. Like, we went to the premiere of the film last night, and they said dress festive. So he wore his Christmas pajama bottoms. They're like, yes. What did you wear, though? I wore a fabulous Dolce & Gabbana dress that I found buried in the back of my closet. That old thing, right? That old thing, yes. Done, okay? Thank you. At the last house party, was it the last one you wore? Was it Balmain? Yes, a Balmain dress. I had my face on it. I was at a Balmain show and they said, you know, they did make dresses that season with other people's faces on it and giant shoulder pads. I actually have one of those, too. And they came up to me and they said, we made one of these dresses for Kylie Jenner to wear to the show. And you know she likes to be sexy and they said we have permission to make one more and we all voted we think we should make it for you. Do you want a dress with your face on it? And I was like, oh, yeah. Oh, my God. And then, actually, you would never think to look at the reunion, but the theme was black and bronze. And so that dress was black and bronze, so it was perfect. But then all the other housewives ended up just wearing whatever they felt like. If you look at it, you'll be like, what is the theme? There's no theme. You won anyway, though, so they may as well just do what they want. It was good. But that dress was heavy, wasn't it? It was very heavy. It has lots and lots of beads. I can't wear it anywhere else now because it kind of went around the world. So I'm going to put it in storage for my, eventually there will be a museum collection. Of course, yes. In fact, I bought those Chanel naked shoes. You know where it's just the back of the shoe? Yes. Which Margaret Qualley wore on the, but I bought them in gold. And I'm never going to wear them because I literally have, I don't want anyone looking at my feet. Why is that? They're all in my feet, but I'm not exactly a foot model. But I was like, I have to have them for the archives, the Jennifer Tilly archives. Because they're such a ridiculous thing, and they're such a moment. It's so completely impractical. I hate those. Oh, my God, those see-through feet shoes. What's his name more? Alexander Skarsgård. So ugly. They're plastic shoes. And then their creepy little feet float about here, and then the shoe goes out. Oh, I think they're YSL. Yes, and then the shoe steams up. So you just, it's like, oh, my God, he's mean. It's probably so swampy in there. But they know what they're doing when they wear that. They get so much press. What about the bracelet that looks like duct tape? What is it, Balenciaga? That's Balenciaga. Do you like that or no? That's not in your collection. Something like a weird, kitschy Balenciaga stuff. You know what? I'm not super into Balenciaga right now. I'm really into the Chanel. Because it's, you know, really... That's an investment. The Chanel now, Matthew, Matthew Blasey, you know, I say Matthew Blasey, but he sort of reinvigorated the house and came out with a lot of cool, funky things, but I love fashion, but now I'm kind of exhausted because we've almost finished the entire season of Housewives, and I'm like, I'm tired of wearing fancy stuff. I just want to wear, you know, my sweats and sort of slink around. I have a hat that I wear. I call it my hat of invisibility because when I put it on, nobody ever recognized it. Hilarious. It's like a bucket hat. It's like, oh, it's a black hat. You know, if you look at my Instagram, you see me wearing it a lot. Because once you put a hat on, you can't ever take it off for the rest of the day. The forehead, the hair, everything, yeah. Yes, but I am looking forward to not having false eyelashes. I think after these lashes, I have none left. Because every time I say, don't use the good glue, don't use the good glue. And at the end of the night, I'm like... Right? And I'm like, oh my God, there goes four more of my eyelashes. Go on, peel them off. Really? Jackie Aina taught me, you use micellar water. So just put a little micellar and they fall right off and then it dries and you can use them again. What about the glue? Because I have to peel off the glue every day. Yeah, but you peel off the glue from the lash. But you don't rip your own lashes off, so I don't rip them off anymore. I had a makeup artist, she would put them on my lid, you know, I think my guy put some on my eyelashes. Now I'm sort of training them. That's why I think they come off, when they're on the lash line, they look really good and I'm worried that I've reached the age to where if I lose one, it's not going to replenish itself. Yes, that's what I feel like because I don't have any eyebrows because you know the 90s. That's what happened to me. And I would say, I would say, no, do I like thick eyebrows? I like thick eyebrows. And then I'd look in the mirror and they'd taken off another three or four layers. Like, you know, but we all have eyebrows, you know, some girls from the 90s that don't have any eyebrows. I had to get them microbladed. I had to create them. Well, yours look fabulous. Well, now there's a lot of makeup on it, too. But I used to have a mustache, you know. I still do. So like, yeah. No, you do not. Well, I shave it off. It gets discouraged because when you pluck it, then pretty soon it's like, well, I'm just not going to grow there. Like, what's the use? You know, they say elephants started growing without tusks because they would be killed for their tusks. So like evolution. It's evolution. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of elephants are being born without tusks. That's kind of sad. It is sad. This whole conversation is really fascinating. I know. Do you want to talk about the movie? The movie is so cute, well yes, but I don't have a very big part, I mean, I'm just like a delightful, saucy, over-sexed minx that saunters through. I had so much fun with Dennis Quaid, because he's adorable, and my best friend in the show was Mary Steenburgen, who's the actual love interest, so we all had fun together. But it's just a fun holiday movie, just like a fun, cute, and it's fun for the whole family, there's no scary parts. And I said, Meg, there's no scary parts in this movie. Well, there is a scary part. One character, she goes in the hospital, and they don't know what's wrong with her. And she has that urinary tract infection, a UTI. And they're like, well, we're going to keep her in here to keep an eye on her. And I was like, for urinary tract infection? And then a couple days later, they're like... I'm like, oh my gosh, this took a really dark turn. And I told Meg, I told my sister that there was no scary parts. But, you know, because it's a holiday movie, everything turns out well. I don't want to give away the ending, but, you know, nobody, if you're crying at the end, it's just because you're so happy. Because you're happy with the holidays. That's right. Your sister, you guys are close. I see your pictures together. She is out here. Okay. She, this afternoon, we're going to film some more of her. Housewives, and she's going to be on the show with me. And she's such a huge Housewives fan. She's so excited. She wants to meet all the girls. Is this her first foray? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, what did you tell her about it for you? Well, I said, don't get involved in the fights. Okay. I like, don't, when you see the girls, don't go. You were mean to my sister Jenny because she knows all the dirt. I'm like, you know, just, you know, when you go there, just, we're going to be, this is going to be a fun little interlude. But you know it makes good TV, right? I know. I kind of want her to get involved. You're so nice. I want somebody to come in there and like wreck shop for you. Remember that girl, Dee Dee, who was Camille's best friend. Remember? And all she would do is say, Dee Dee, she'd say, Camille, you're so wonderful. You donate so much money to charity and you're just Well, you know that famous meme where the cat is looking at the two people who are screaming and it's Taylor. Taylor's like, I was holding it back. Oh yeah, that's right. Didi started that fight. Nobody even remembers that. Nobody remembers Didi. She wasn't even a friend of her or anything like that. She just followed Camille around and told her how wonderful she was on camera. Camille was like, now remember the wonderful things you were going to say about me today. And so I don't want Meg to be Deedee. I don't want her to come in and start a really, really big fight. Because my sister is adorable and she's also sensitive. She looks just like you. She does, except for she let her hair grow naturally gray. So she's like glamorous, naturally gray hair person. She did a show called Bomb Girls where she dyed her hair. That color. Yeah. And, you know, I don't know. I could never let my hair go gray. My boyfriend said during the pandemic, now maybe it can be all natural. And like an inch came out. I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm so depressed. And I called my dad and said, you're in CVS looking for Clairol. Don't mess yourself up. I was so insane. I didn't leave the house for a year and three months. A year and three months. It was scary. God, I get it. They said protect. You can't go out to protect the elderly, the over 60s. And I looked at my boyfriend and went, it's us. I go, we are not leaving the house until this is over. Okay, we want to have a little fun with you, okay? We have some rapid-fire questions. Do you think you can do it? Sure, yes, absolutely. What's the last thing you cooked? Oh gosh, it shouldn't be so hard. I never cook. Oh, this morning I cooked two boiled eggs and then I was in a rush and I left them on the stove. Hopefully my boyfriend will eat them. That's the extent of my cooking skills. I boil eggs. Okay, you left them there. What's the most starstruck you've ever been? The most starstruck is literally when I met Kyle Richards because I was a huge Housewives fan. Oh, that's right. I met her and I was like, oh my God, it's like there's There's my friend Kyle. Because you see them on TV. You think they're your friends. Because she was always so struck by you. No, she wasn't. But she was very nice to me. Oh, she was. This was before Housewives. I think she wouldn't give it, though. But maybe she probably was. She probably wouldn't say it. Yeah. She introduced me. And then she introduced me to Mauricio. And it's like, yeah, OK. Okay. Who is harder to read? OK, a poker player holding pocket aces or a director giving notes on set? Sometimes the director giving notes on set is very hard to read because they don't want to offend you by saying, I hate what you did. They're like, oh, maybe you could do it like maybe a little less dramatic or. I don't know. What do you think? Do you prefer someone who has a lighter touch, or do you prefer, like, just be honest? I like a lighter touch. You know, Woody Allen was very hard to read. He'd be like, let's do it. Not for me, because, you know, I'm a mind melder. But some of the other people, they'd say, let's do it again. And people are like, well, do you want it louder or softer or faster or whatever? They go, hmm. Let's just do it again. And then, you know, he's very notorious for firing people or replacing them with other actors, but he would not tell them. And many times they would show up at the premiere only to see someone else on screen wearing their costume, saying their lines. That's kind of cruel. Yeah. Well, you know, because he wants to be nice and sometimes it's not nice to be nice. Yes. That's like ghosting. It's like ghosting, like not telling somebody that you're breaking up with them, thinking like, I'll just sort of float away. But then inviting them to the date of another person. Somebody else, you know, someone else invited them, you know. But, you know, his casting director would try to find out because it happened more than once. She'd say, Woody, you have to tell them you're the director. But if they had not, because he's notorious for cutting people. Sometimes he's recasting entire movies. And I was actually worried that he recasted me because he said, and put us on Broadway, they said, we need the whole month of February for reshoots. February came and went. And I said, what? And what happened with those reshoots? And they called and they go, we finished them. We didn't need Jennifer. Oh, am I in it? Am I cut? Can you tell me? What was your first concert? My first concert? It was... I think... The guy was wearing white sneakers and we had, you know, when you're young it's called a vision obscured where you're sitting because it's a giant pole and every now and then this guy with white sneakers and a white suit would you know, dance a little that way behind the pole and we're like, there he is, we're at a concert and then he'd go back behind the pole. This is so funny. This is so good. Who was your celebrity crush growing up? Oh, John Travolta. from Welcome Back, Kotter. I just thought he was so cute. That is so funny. It's so funny. I actually wrote him, you know, dreams do come true. I wrote him a letter and I asked. I thought all those girls were mean to me. They will, when I show up with John Travolta as my date to the prom, they'll be so impressed. I never heard of him. Oh, he did what? No, I did not. I met all the people I had crushes on in high school, and you know, it's kind of not the same as in your dreams. Right. Did they disappoint when you met them? They don't disappoint, but for example, we used to love to watch reruns of It Takes a Thief. I just thought he was the cutest thing. I was like, I want to go to Hollywood and watch It Takes a Thief, never mind that the show was not even airing anymore. And then, you know, I met Robert Wagner several times because I know his daughter, and then I was in a movie with him. Also, Henry Winkler. When I was in high school, we did a little sketch for the school auditorium of Happy Days, which was very popular at the time, and I was one of the girls by the juice box, and when the Fonz, the pimply-faced eighth grader, came and went, I ran over and I was one of the girls, kissed him on the cheek, I went home, I wrote my journal. One day, I'm going to meet the real Fonz, and I'm going to go to Hollywood, and I'm going to meet the real Fonz. Ended up being in a show called Out of Practice, where I was Henry Winkler's girlfriend, and I got to kiss him every week, but it's not what you imagine. Henry Winkler's not the Fonz. I mean, he did a whole campaign, I am not the Fonz. But it's amazing how your dreams come true. Absolutely. Of course, his manifestation works. It does work in the strangest ways. He's one of the nicest guys in Hollywood. He is, and he's earned that reputation. He comes in, he's carrying the cookies. It is wife made for the crew. It's like, good morning, Joe. Good morning, Jerry. Looks up into the rafters, the guys with the booms. Hey. Elliot! How's it going? How's the kids? Emily and Sam just knows everyone's back. Knows everyone's name. He really works very hard at being the nicest guy in Hollywood. Oh, my gosh. You are so much fun. I love you. Lovely. Hey, A Dog's Perfect Christmas with the lovely Jennifer Tilly is out today on Netflix. Thank you so much. You're a dog. You guys have the best. Thank you. I love having three being on the show. Isn't it nice? Three hosts. It's fabulous. Ridiculous.