GIRL MARRIED HER DAD'S FRIEND? [Full Crowd Work Show - 23 Minutes] - Michael Blaustein

What's your name, dude? I forgot. Wade. And man, what's your favorite thing about Wade? I love that creator. Oh, s**t! Me too, b**ch! What type of content do you do, sir? Movie and TV show right now. What's your favorite movie of the season, sir? Obsession. Yeah, that's with that director that's like 25 or something, the YouTube guy, right? That's Backrooms. No, it is. The director's Curry. Yes, but there also is Backrooms. Yes, but that director's 20. Yes. Alright, maybe I make movie content now. How are you, ma'am? Have you ever been to one of my shows before? No. No? You look very ******* familiar. What's your name, ma'am? Christina. Christina? Hello, Christina. How long have you had ginormous breasts? That's not a Christian question, but I'm sorry. They're just *******, yeah, they're just ******* looking at me. Yeah, I wanna put his drink on him. No disrespect, daddy. My whole life. Your whole life? Oh, crapola, okay. Like your whole life? Like when you were young, young, young, young, young? Like 13. 13? Oh, crapola. So you were one of those girls that came in after, like, after, like, supper time and you came back into school and everyone treated you differently. And you walk by, everyone's like, god damn! Okay, that's awesome. Okay, that's awesome, okay. You are drunk. Look at you. We're talking about breasts for eight seconds. That's cool, man. I don't, I don't, I didn't mean to ask you such a crude question up top. I apologize. What is your name? Christina. Christina, okay. And who is this, who is this behind you? My boyfriend. That's your boyfriend, Travis? Travis, hello, Travis. What attracted you initially? I don't know the answer. Initially, when you saw her at the bar or the NASCAR race or wherever you were at. Your name is Travis. I assume you were mud bogging somewhere. I like balloons. You like balloons? Oh, I understand. You're saying they, balloons, okay. Did you, that was the first. Where, where did you, where did you come across this beautiful lady first? It was Facebook. Facebook. Okay, damn. Facebook. You saw on, did you, how? Was it like Facebook dating or you were just being like, oh, Facebook dating. Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe. And you saw the beautiful, beautiful lady. And you, and you saw the, you saw the jujungas and you were like, and you were like, double like. Ah! Ah, swipe twice. Okay. Have you always liked bazoongas? That's always been one of your top things that you enjoyed in a female species? Big bazoongas? Okay. And how long have you beautiful people been together? It'll be five years in October. Man, way to go. Way to go. Good. Great. For like a solid minute. That was crazy. You guys live together? Yes. You guys live together? And how long have you guys lived together for? It'll be four years. Oh, four years. Oh, wow. You moved in pretty quick. Whose rent, whose lease was up? And you would say, I knew him. That's such a Travis move. Lease is up in nine months. Be like, I think we should f***ing move in together. Okay. It's going good though? It's going good? Okay, that's good. How's the sex life? Sex life good? Yeah? Okay. That's good. Okay. And man, what attracted you to Travis when he initially swiped on you? I don't know. I just went for it. You just went for it? What? From Long Island. And I just got back into the dating pool. Yeah. And he was like one of the first people. You got back into the dating pool and he was one of the first people to swipe on you and you're like, you know what? F*** it. I'm not picky. You're not picky? Okay. I am sorry daddy. That was maybe the most f***ed up thing I've ever heard. Damn. You're not picky. Who did you date before him? Emo? You guys look like you're doing good. And how do you... I don't even know how to ask this question. I am going to do it. Some guy. Do it! How do you... F***. Okay. I'll give you a little bit of back story to this question and maybe you'll answer it. So you know how like every new relationship a new lady that's in your life you have to kind of figure them out? Because every lady doesn't f*** the same way. Do you know what I mean? This woman gets it. This woman f***ing gets it. No, it's fun. It's like a little Rubik's Cube of a p***y. You gotta figure it out. Does this? No. This? No. This? No. This? No. And you have to find it out. So how do you make her c***? That's my question. That's my question, Travis. As you can tell, I like to eat. Oh, as you can... Oh, Travis, that was a pretty good line, Travis. Travis said, as you can tell, I like to eat. That's what's up. That's a good line. That's what's up. I like that. Okay, and how do you... Do you have any techniques you can share with the class? There's some young dudes out here that don't know how to eat box correctly. Travis, do you have any... How old are you, sir? 36. 36 years of eating box... Well, maybe not all the 36 years. That's a horrible f***ing year, too. That color's pink. I wish I could play the f***ing drums, dude. Sorry. I have autism, too. Okay, so do you have any techniques? Hey, gentlemen, any dudes under, like, 22 here? F***ing rooster in this b***h. Anyone under 22? I saw some point. Anyone under... You, too? Okay. How old are you, sir? 21. Yeah, you look fresh as f***, dog. Okay. You think you know how to eat the f***ing... No comment. He don't know what he's doing. What's your name, dude? I forgot. Wade. Goddamn. Bunch of white people in this room. Travis and Wade. Jesus Christ. Okay, so Travis, do you have any skills? You want skills you pass on to Wade? Because Wade doesn't know what the f*** he's doing, dude. He's in there like a bop it. A bop it! Twist it! Pull it! He doesn't know what he's doing. She's like, that's my a**hole. She doesn't know what... She doesn't know what is happening. Motherf***er, I would hear deep throat kneecaps. He doesn't know what he's doing. You have any... You want to share any knowledge with Wade? Because Wade is lost in the forest. Like a nice joystick. A nice joystick. You do that with your tongue, sir? Or your hands? Tongue. So you do this like... Go ahead, practice. That's my boy! Hell yeah! What's up? She's just getting moist from the visual. Wade, did you see that? Wade, you said you were 21, sir? Okay. You have any significant other, sir? Oh. Well, ma'am. I thought Wade was alone, sir. 21. Okay. So what... So... So in that... In that department before... He gave him some game. Was he... Was Wade okay in that department? Yes? Alright, Wade? How do you... What do you think that you do? Because maybe he can learn some. Old dogs can learn new tricks. Circle motion. So just like... Like that? Oh, slower. Oh, ----. You're giving me direction. I like that. Wade's a freak, dude. His ******* eyes lit up. He's like... Slower. I like that, you freak butt. -------... ------- slower. I like that, dude. Like a little director you are. Slower. Cut! There's my... That's awesome. Okay. Wade, thank you so much for participating. And where did you... Where did you guys meet? The 21-year-olds? Hinge. Beautiful. Okay. And how long have y'all been doing it? Two years. Beautiful. That's beautiful. Okay. And ma'am, what's your favorite thing about Wade besides eating your box? I went to a red carpet the other day. You went to a red carpet the other day? He's a content creator. Oh, ----. Me too, bitch. We do the same job kind of sort of, Wade. What type of... What type of content do you make? OF? OF? No, I'm just kidding, Wade. What type of content do you do, sir? Movie and TV show breakdowns. Okay. What's your favorite movie of the season, sir? Yes, sir. Obsession. Oh, I haven't seen that yet. What's that? Six people like that movie? That's great. Okay, awesome. Yeah, that's with that director that's like 25 or something. The YouTube guy, right? Curry? Excuse me? No, it is. The director's Curry. Yes, but that director's 20. Yes. All right. Maybe I make movie content now. I'm joking. Wade, man, good luck on your journey, bro. You're a really cute guy. You'll ******* do it. Yeah, cute. How are you, man? You look familiar too, sir. Have you ever been to one of my shows? No, first time. Jesus Christ. How are you louder than me and I have a ******* microphone? That's crazy. No, first time. Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay, cool, man. All right. I like your shorts, man. Nice shorts, nice legs. Good for you. Is that your lady? Are you wearing kitty cat ears? Oh, sure, the kitty cat. That's pretty good. I didn't know I could do that, Travis. I had no idea. I took a ******* swing, daddy, and I *******... Okay, sorry. Okay, so we haven't met in much. And you're wearing the kitty cat ears. Do you feel like a kitty cat inside? Oh, okay. You feel like... Excuse me? Cat-like tendencies. What does that mean to you, ma'am? More like a cat woman. Okay, well, what the **** does that mean? Hey, ma'am, to you, to you. What does that mean to you, ma'am? Confident walk independence. Okay. So you just walk like a ******* kitty cat? Just like a ******* kitty cat? I'm going to the bank, bitch. I'm independent. What makes you so independent? The way you were brought up. Are you an only child? You are? That makes a motherfucking lot of sense. Cool, okay. That's awesome. Okay. How do you think that helps a relationship because you're so... because you're so a cat woman-like? God. This guy's my favorite. Okay, sorry. Go ahead, ma'am. Before I was rudely interrupted by... Cat! What, bitch? Did you say sex cat energy? What the **** does that mean? Sex cat energy? What does that mean, ma'am? What does that mean? Your pussy dies nine times? What does that mean? What did you say? What was your wording? Sex cat energy? You're like a little sex kitten. Oh, ----. Tell me what that means, sir. Like a little... Stop trying to get a better view. You're with your ******* wife. This ************ turned all the way around. Hey, hold up. Hey. Hey, hold up. Hey. I'm a kitty cat, too. I tasted it before I got here. I'm so sorry. Say again, sir. I tasted it before I got here. You tasted it before you got here. Before you got here? Before I got here. Oh, ----. Okay, did you eat it like a cat? Okay. Oh, you taste it. Just taste? Taste or the full meal? Both. Both? Okay. Taste into it. Okay, cool. All right. Okay. Because she's a sex kitten, she likes to get her ******* pussy eaten or whatever. Okay. That's cool. Okay. Do you have any special cat moves that you like to do, ma'am? Any special cat moves? Licking your own fur or some ----? After you suck his dick, you got a ******* hairball? You own his dick, you get scared, you jump on the refrigerator? I think I'm out of cat things. I don't know a lot about cats. Okay, so sorry. You talk. Give her some catnip. Okay, good. Reset. Give me magic. Okay. I'm gonna suck your dad. I ******* love that guy. You heard him? Wait, you heard him? Oh, you didn't hear him? He said, action. That guy's cool as ****. Damn. How many people have you murdered? Oh, ----. Are you that ************? My boy. Oh, my God. What's up, dude? How are you? Oh, my God. That guy's a pedophile, dude. I'm ******* around, dude. Yes, sir. That guy's awesome, man. Thank you so much for coming. So nice to see you, too, man. Oh, my God. He was here last time. That clip did ******* 70 billion. That guy, that guy was, what was it that you were friends with his, with her father? Oh, okay. You know what? What? Yeah, yeah. You've seen the clip. **** yeah. Just to catch everybody, because I'm trying to get a part two. I want to see how you guys are doing. Just to catch everybody up in the room. He, you were 41 and you met her when she was, what, 24 or something? Not 19. Oh, ----. That's different. Don't, oh, they're in love. Shut up. They're fine. All right. Listen. Okay. They're in love and she lives in a cage in his basement. It's okay. Everything's fine. She lives in a cage just like a kitty cat. Okay. All right. So how are you? Everything going good since the last time we spoke? Doing great. Yeah? Any new, anything new in your relationship? No. No? Just the same old, same old? Traveling and living. Just traveling. Okay. You bring anything new into the bedroom, into the? New bedroom? Yeah. No? Women in handcuffs. What? You brought other women with handcuffs on? Yeah. Oh, were they willing? Other women in the bedroom? They weren't kitty cats. They weren't? Oh, hold on. No. Shut up. What does the f**k that even mean? I'm bisexual. You're bisexual. Oh, ******* what? Oh, man. See, we didn't see. I knew we were gonna get part two, man. Alright. Okay. Sorry. Okay, part two. Okay. So, you're bisexual. I didn't know that. That's great. Okay, yeah. We didn't talk about that. We were just talking about the age gap last time. Okay, so, but you're a bisexual lady. So, you brought other women into the bedroom? Okay. Damn, you can handle two women? Goddamn, man. You have osteoporosis, b**ch. How do you not crack all your bones in half? How old are you now, baby? 47. Man, yeah. F**k yeah, dude. Is everything still clinking? Everything pings? No blue pills? Everything ******* rocked up? Rise and shine. I don't know what the hell that means, but I'm following it. That sounds like some old people s**t, man. How's your d**k work? Rise and shine, baby. The sun comes up, the sun goes down. You know what I mean. What the f**k are you talking about? Okay. Beautiful. And you brought other women in? How many other women do you think you brought in? A lot. What was the most recent one, ma'am? The age order. Oh, yes. We'll start with the age first, because she brought it up. Goddamn. 25. Okay, 25. And where do you scout them first? Do both of you guys go to bars and be like, oh, that one's pretty? Together. Together, okay. And how do you pitch the age? Do you just say, this is my grandfather, we'll figure it out later? You say that's your daddy? I'm hard. F**k you guys. Damn, that's my daddy, she said. Okay, alright. That was awesome. Okay. So, it's still, okay, so, but okay, so you brought her in, she was 20, 25, and then how did everything go? Huh? It was fun. It was fun? Okay, so what the, how did the handcuffs come into play? Oh, some of them liked, some of them liked BDSM. Oh, s**t. Do you like, do you like BDSM, ma'am? Oh, shoot, so you wear leather, black leather? Black leather, okay. And do you, do you like to be dom? Do you like to be sub-sub? I can do either. You can do either, okay. Just depends on what day it is. Okay, Monday, you're like, shut the f**k up, and then Tuesday, you're like, someone f**k me, okay. That's cool, that's awesome, just whatever you want, okay. Anyone else into BDSM? Hey! Whores! I thought no one was going to say anything, that's cool. Dude, every time I come to this club, you guys are crazy and I love it so much. Okay, and how did you, when did you realize that you were into BDSM, ma'am? After you saw something? Oh, after you saw Fifty Shades of Grey? You were fifth? I'm just repeating because people can't hear you. So you saw Fifty Shades of Grey and you went into the movie illegally, and then you were just watching it, and you saw a *******, what's his name, what's his name? You saw Christian Grey? Thank you so much. You saw Christian Grey just like, and you were like, oh my God! Your ******* click came out, hey, I love this s**t! Okay. Okay, and then from then on, you just like the bitty BDSM? Okay, okay. Excuse me? You like BDSM or older men? BDSM. Older men. Sorry. Okay, cool. All right, and was Christian Grey like an older dude? I never saw that. She was like innocent. Oh, she was innocent? Yeah. And he was like an older dude? Yeah. Okay, cool. So you just watched the movie and you're like, that's gonna be my life. Okay, that's great. Good for you. Okay, that's awesome. Okay, that's very nice. I'm very, very happy. You guys are doing good. Very, very happy. How many? Six. Six years. Beautiful. Of marriage. Good for you. Thank you. And how are you doing, baby? You good? Doing great, man. Great? Okay, employment's good? Have a job? Yeah. Okay, what do you do again? I forget. I still own my own company. Free service. Great. Oh, there's free service. Yeah, there's free service. And man, what do you do? Oh, no, you stay at home and butter your clit or whatever you do. Huh? I just stay ready for him. You say you just stay ready for him? Here that's married is like, shut the f*** up!