Hilaria Baldwin divulges the extremes she took during 20-year eating disorder — including counting toothpaste calories

I had a really bad eating disorder for 20 years and I really struggled with it. And I realized that I just didn't know when I was hungry and when I was full. And I did all of it. I did anorexia. I did bulimia. I did overeating. I did under eating. I did, I did all of it. And I found that as soon as I could like tap into when am I hungry? When am I full? What are good things to eat? And then not be afraid of things. Like two nights ago, I can't wait to post this video. My youngest and I opened up two pints of Haagen Dazs. One was sweet vanilla almond, which I've never had before. It's so good. Oh, it's one of my favorite flavors. Almonds inside. It's the best. And then the other one was Oreo cookie. Now that's my jam. Do you mix them? Well, we had like two spoons. Like people should not dip into these ones if you're afraid of germs, because they had both our germs all over. But like then you can do that. And it was like 9 p.m. Like so not being afraid of things, but again, like eating an amount that feels like your body can manage it. I love that you have gotten to a place where you feel confident and comfortable, not just with your body, but with food noise. You were saying you were pregnant for so many so much time in a row when you were now at a period of time not being pregnant. Did you feel like you had to like relearn your body or the conversation with your body? But like the am I fat? Am I this? Yeah. You know, I did a lot of the work before I I really, really. I got one of the best things about having ADHD is we get very hyper focused on certain things. And we can be bad, too. But I one of the good things that I did is I think it gave me hyper focused on trying like I need to solve this. Like I don't want to live this way. I'm miserable. I can't have a good relationship. I can't have good friendships. I can't eat out to dinner with people. Like it's just like so, so, so stressful. I'm afraid of how many calories might be in toothpaste, like just insanity. And so I I think I really and I also wanted to make sure that I healed that before I had kids because I didn't want to pass my habits. Yes. Yeah. Almost said a bad word. Probably can't do that here. So again, I might get down to it. So I just want I really feel that it was and then it was interesting because growing one of my best friends had a baby three weeks before me. And all of a sudden, like I saw her right afterwards and I looked like a whale. I look like Jabba the Hutt. And she's like and she's like gorgeous with like holding this baby. I'm like, what? What? What happened to you? Like what? And I was so she's like, you watch. It's going to happen to you, too. And like not right away. Yeah. But like little by little. You like it's like you like you're like a little shrinky dink. Oh, I love you. Yeah. Oh, my God. Did you was were those habits? Did you hide them from your loved ones? The eating disorder? When I was younger. Yeah. I know. I mean, I started dieting when I was five. Wow. When you were five, that is wild. I mean, isn't it? And also just getting worse. What kids learn now, you know what I mean? Yeah. Because if you learn that at five now, there's TikTok and everything where kids can see that it's really hard because we we were young dieters, too. Oh, really? Yeah. We've had weight fluctuations. And I often think about like if Ozempic had been around when I was, you know, my heaviest, when I was like in sixth grade, what I have like somehow finagled my way to getting Ozempic at 12 years old. I feel like my willpower would have done it. Right. You know what I mean? But now we have like these peptides and Ozempic and looks maxing and all these things that like how what's the conversation with your kids around body image and stuff? And because they're probably seeing a lot of stuff on TikTok. Yeah. I mean, obviously, I think that some of it is going to be their experience, no matter how much I try to bubble wrap them. Yeah, it's going to get through. So I think just having the conversations about it and not making it mystical. Like I feel like when I was younger and struggling more, I'd be like, how do these people do it? And you see in magazines what you eat in a day. And like, oh, this is the South Beach diet. And oh, yeah, that's good. Yes. All this stuff. And I was like, maybe this is what it has to be. Also, I look back and I was like, I looked fine. Yes. It's like I was like, yeah, but I thought I was like, well, but I just thought there was something broken inside of me. And so what I try to do with my kids is empower them. Talk about strength. Talk about how does the food make you feel? And then also not don't be like, oh, my God, no, you can't have Cheetos. Like I don't love that my kids eat Cheetos sometimes, but they really want to. And so if we don't shame it, yeah, and it's not a regular thing, then there you go. You know what I mean? It's like balance. If they were like if you were like Cheetos or this bad secret thing, they're like, I want it because it's like it's like I can't have it. So I want it. Right. So they like feed yourself with mostly good things. Open up a pint of ice cream sometimes and take out a spoon. Yeah. But like be aware of your body. Like we can all relate to like Thanksgiving and people usually feel pretty sick on Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah. Like don't have that be a regular thing. Right.