Her Parents Think She Should Use Her College Savings To Buy Them a House

[music] If your private student loans are in default, you're not out of options. Go to yrefi.com/ramsey. >> I'm calling in today to see if it's worth it to buy a house. Um, a little background of me. I'm 20 years old. I'm doing a PhD in biomedical engineering. I have a degree in biomedical engineering as well. And I plan to go to medical school. Uh, my parents want me to buy us a house cuz I have the money. financially. I'm just wondering to see what do you guys think. I don't want to >> That sentence was wild. You Your parents want you to buy us a house? >> Yes. >> Entire house. >> The family. You them. Do you have siblings? >> Yeah, I do. Um I have two brothers and I have one sister. One my brother does not live with us. >> Okay. >> Um but >> where are you guys living now? brother. >> Sorry, say that again. >> Where are you guys living now? >> Um, >> like, are you guys renting? >> No, no, no. We own a house. It's a pretty big house. It's like 2,000 square ft, but my mom wants a nicer house cuz my uncle has a nice house. And, you know, it it's it's going to go all on me and I'm just I'm really stressed and it feels like a lot of pressure. >> Well, sure. >> I want my mom to be happy. >> Okay. So, okay. So, I'm I'm so curious how this conversation goes. Do are they saying to you, "Anna, you should buy us a house. We need a We need a new house, Anna. You have the money. Why don't you just do it?" Is that like is that how the conversation goes? >> Yes. >> That is insane. I want you to know that. >> House, >> why don't they just go buy a house if they want a house? >> Can afford it? >> It doesn't matter if you can afford it. You're not the one who wants a house. If they want to upgrade a house, that's something they need to do as grown adults. >> How much money do you have, Anna? >> I have around 150k cash. >> Okay. And >> a lot of it is in the market. >> How do you have that much money at 20? I'm just curious. Have you been working or how did you get that? >> Um, I've been working since I was 15. I had a business at 15. I used to tutor people. >> We actually made an app. I don't want to say it publicly, but um, we sold the app. >> I made that money. Um, and then I've been working like all throughout university through my degree. And right now I work I make like 70 60k a year. >> Wow. >> Oh my gosh. >> And how are you going to pay for med school? >> Like through my money, through my savings. And you know, like I know money always comes and goes. Not I mean as long as you have the skills and you can provide value, you can always make money. >> Okay. So this $150,000 is that earmarked to pay for med school? >> I have around 100k. So >> yes. >> Okay. Therefore, it is not house buying money. Especially when it's your parents who are forcing you to do this. So I would just tell them kindly and firmly, no, the money I have is to cash flow my med school expenses. >> Yeah. And >> I will not be buying a house. And the truth is, Annie, when you don't when you go to med school and you start doing all of your programs, you know, you you have no idea what city you're going to be at. You have no idea what hospital you're going to be at, doing, you know, all of your clinicals. I mean, every move across the country. >> Yeah. So, so no, in no way do you need to be buying a house in your, you know, where you are in your season of life, let alone the complete dysfunction of your parents. Like, you know, that's crazy, right? And it sounds insane. I I don't want to do it, but I want my mom to be happy. You know, like she says, my >> It's not your job to make your mom happy. >> It's not your job. And she sounds like a She's a woman that probably will never be happy. She'll get this house. >> If you did, if you went through with this and you bought this, I guarantee you in 3 to four years, she's going to be like, "Oh man, well, my new friend has this house, so >> a nicer car. It's time for the car upgrade." The fact that she would go to her 20year-old and ask to not even ask kind of sounds like demands or requested a house is so wild. So wild. And you're you're smart. You know this. >> And so it it is diff these will be difficult conversations, Anna. But the earlier you start doing this with kindness, >> but being very firm and knowing exactly where you stand, it's going to ruffle some feathers. But I would that this is going to be your life, right? I mean, I hate to say it. If these are your parents, I'm sure they were wonderful and raised you obviously did a great job uh you know, raising you because you're incredible, but but this is going to be a picture of what the future looks like. And if you can start putting up those boundaries now at 20 years old with a very obvious situation that there needs to be a boundary there, uh that's just good. It's a good starting point for you. But I'm so sorry you have to do this. That's so unfair. It's an uncomfortable position. >> The fact they've put you in this situation is crazy. >> Have you ever heard of the quote, you you give someone an inch and they'll take a mile. >> Yes. >> That's what I think is going to happen with your family. They're going to continue to exploit everything you have because you're the successful one in the family and they raised you and therefore how could you not buy them a house after everything they've done for you? And they're going to use that to abuse and guilt you into things. That's the future that you have if you say yes to anything. Yeah, you're right. Whatever you're saying yes to, look at what you're saying no. I always keep this in mind. Um, okay. Here's one of my issues. I told her I can't do this. She came in here and she was like, "You just need to sign the papers." And she was screaming at me for like an hour, 30 minutes to an hour, saying, "Oh, don't worry. You'll remake the money." And I told her, "What about medical school?" She told me, "You can take loans." >> No. And I mean, >> and I'm going to be honest with you. I would move out if I were you. You make 60 $70,000 a year. You're a grown woman. You're very smart. I would just go rent and say, "You guys need to figure this out. I'm going to go out on my own." >> And you don't give them a dime. You don't owe them anything. >> Okay? >> That's the only way out of this. Cuz if you stay, they're going to say, "Well, you're under under our roof and look at everything we've done for you. You need to just call it quits now cuz it's becoming a transaction instead of a relationship. It's about to be Bank of Anna for the rest of your life if you don't put a foot down. >> And do they have what papers are they giving you? Do they already have a house they want to buy? >> There's a house. Um they've been looking at houses and they'll send me like links of houses every day. And um I I signed the house like yesterday cuz I was like I mean I didn't know what to do. So I signed the contract and now I just need to give the earnest money and >> Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, >> no, no earnest money. >> No. >> You need to back out of all of this. >> Okay. And yeah, and I would kind of put it back on her. If money can just be earned and you can always make more money, then go, mom. >> Are they both working full time? >> And and support yourself. This is crazy. >> My dad used to own a dealership. He he lost it in CO. Um, so I sell his cars. >> We still have cars, but I sell them. >> But if I don't sell the cars, he doesn't do anything. So right now he's made no money. My mom is a teacher. She makes around 30k a year or 25. >> And you're running dad's business while he sits around waiting for you to run his business. >> Yes, but I've sold no cars this month or last month. I mean, I haven't had time. >> Yeah, you're pretty busy. >> Yeah, Anna, these are this is I I hate that you're in a position like this at 20 years old, but this is your reality and there is going to have to be some real hard conversations. And if you have the ability bandwidth wise, which financially you do, you make great money. I would sit down with a counselor or a therapist to walk through this, like this may be some ongoing [music] discussions that are going to be had and I want you to be guided the right way. So, I almost would just find a professional to help you walk through this. >> Best of luck. Why refi refinances defaulted private student loans for struggling borrowers. Learn more at yfy.com/ramsey.