My Girlfriend Cosigned on a House, Car, and Credit Cards for Her Family

Brought to you by the every dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. I'm looking to get engaged with this young lady that I've been dating about nine months. And, um, I'm just getting into figuring out her financial situation. And it's really a freaking mess to be an understatement here. Oh boy. So she's co-living with, um, her mother, her sister that is married, her other sister that is married. Um, and of course herself and they all co-signed, uh, signatures and such and incomes to be able to afford and purchase a home together. Oh boy. Six of them. And so they're all in the D they're all in the, on the mortgage. Right. They're all in this mortgage. And then there's a food truck business that they run as a family business and there's other incomes and then there's private and business credit cards all mixed together. And my girlfriend's, um, credit score is tied to all of these as a co-signer and to auto loans that she's also tied to. Oh boy. Okay. I'm going, okay. So if in six, you know, six months, if I was hoping for a spring or summer wedding here that like I cannot join finances with over a hundred thousand dollars of small bets and a house that I have zero equity or input in. I don't think she has equity in any of those things. She's been coaxed into signing as the co-signer, all of those things, but does not have equity in any of those things. How much of this does she understand? It sounds like you are well-versed in the world of finance and I'm worried she just is like, oh, I didn't understand all this. I just signed because it was family and I thought it'd all work out. I, I don't know if she understood the weight of when you sign a co-sign a loan like that, how much are you on the line for? I don't think she really understood that. She doesn't understand that if they all default, that it all reflects on her and that she could be the one that's responsible for all of it. Correct. So there's another curve ball here that one of the sisters has cancer. And so her and her husband aren't really working. You've worked too hard to get control of your money just to let strangers control your data. Every online signup, discount code and free trial comes at a cost. Your information and delete me helps you take back control. Their privacy experts find your personal info on sketchy data broker sites. They delete it and they keep it gone, meaning you stay in charge of what's yours. So protect your privacy and get 20% off an annual plan at join delete me.com slash Ramsey. That's join delete me.com slash Ramsey. One of the sisters has cancer. And so her and her husband aren't really working. And so they were kind of like soaking up some out of the household. They kind of pulled their money together in the house. And, um, her mother wants to go back to Mexico. So she's Mexican, but her, you don't, I don't think debt companies can, um, chase you. And collectors can chase you once you're on the other side of the border. Kind of an idea is from my understanding. So her mother is, you know, obviously participate and created some of this debt. And I think that they're all going, Oh, well now she's found this nice guy. In other words, me. Okay. Um, let's not go. What do I do with this? I hear let's let me go back to what I think is the most important things first because there's a lot here. I'll try to tackle some of them. I know George will tackle some of them. So first things first is the conversation where you're kind of getting her to understand your, um, fears around this. And then, and only then if she's in a space to move forward, here's, here's what I would say is the ultimate goal. The goal is to find out first, Hey, this mortgage situation, who can buy you out? Like who can buy out your portion so that you can get your piece. And can we get folks to refi and get you out of this? Cause that's the only way is to refi this mortgage. So she's not on it. So that must happen. It must happen. Same thing with these auto loans. This is, it's just so serious. So that conversation of her understanding that that's why I say that's like paramount to this entire thing working because after that, she's going to have to have some serious conversations of, I need to refi the mortgage. I need to refi these auto loans and I need to find out how to get my name off of these credit cards. Because if I were in your shoes, I don't think I would move forward with marrying her until that's done because you are going to get, it's a horrible way to start off your marriage, period. It's just going to cause problems. Is she willing to essentially be exiled by her family? Uh, you know, does she want out of this? Or is she like, no, everything's great. I like everything that we're doing right now. She, she honestly has confided in me that she's very stressed about the financial situation because she's, I explained to her a lot more of the depth of like you don't have equity to play with as a bargaining chip. It's not even about equity with the liability. It's not. Yeah. It's not even about the equity. I think that that's burying the lead a little bit. The biggest, the thing that you guys have to be most concerned about is the risk on her life. When these people stop being interested in paying, especially because there's so many involved. It's very easy for Bob to go, you know what? I'm not working in this season. It's okay. Sister has the health care. Mom goes to Mexico and goes, good luck guys. Now what? Yeah. Now she's on the hook for everything and collectors are coming after her and suing her. And that's what she's up against right now. That's the thing you need to be laser beam focused on is the risk. Forget equity, forget any of that other stuff. It is risk, risk, risk on her head right now. And so to, to start to reduce some of that risk, I looked at it was like, yo, you guys need to sell these cars. Cause one of their, their cheapest car, they are at an 18% interest rate on it. And so I was like, you guys cannot be paying $750 a month on a 2018 Nissan Pathfinder. You're right. They need to sell it. They're underwater. They're underwater by 5k on that one. They got offered eight for it. I was like, sell it, but they don't have any money to pay off the loan. So the dealership will take whoever's, whoever's loan, whoever it is that's driving the car needs to see if they can get a loan for the difference. And they need to be selling a private party. The dealership's always going to give you a super low ball offer. Correct. Yeah. They have to have their margins. So they might actually be able to sell it for what they owe on it. If they sold a private party instead of going to the dealership, but people who screwed them up. I think, I think, I think they owe just about even with KBB on the vehicle. Um, do they need it to get from A to B? No. So I'm a mechanic for a living. I was like, look, I'll find you a Toyota Camry that needs a water pump and a timing belt for 1500 bucks, put $80 of parts in it and ship it. You guys can have reliable can rely on transportation in a week. Is it the sisters? No, this is what my girlfriend drives and her mother and whoever else needs the car. So, okay. So it's your, for all intents and purposes, it's your girlfriend's car. Correct. So what you need to do is you need to go with your girlfriend and say, Hey, we're getting a loan. Once we find out KBB, if there's a difference, we're getting a loan for the difference, and then we're going to sell this and you're going to get your mom and your sister to agree to that immediately. Is that the case for both cars, by the way? Yeah. So there's another, there's a 2024 Dodge Ram 1500 Laramie that they have. They're paying about a thousand dollars a month for on the payment and they owe 38 five on it. And it's, it got appraised the dealership last week for 34. And who's the main driver? Um, that's one of the one, her brother-in-law drives that mostly. And so, and he's currently not working. So I don't know how he gets the privilege to be driving. Are they all like chipping in to cover all of these payments? Correct. They kind of just pull all their money in a pot and pay bills out of that. And some months they have enough for all the stuff. Okay. Okay. I'm going to be straight up with you. Toxic codependence happening here. Well, well, yes, yes. But I think what you more, so like we can look at it on the outside and say toxic codependency, but it sounds like it's a, it could be a cultural thing of this is just how we survive. And this is what we're used to. Your work is cut out for you. And I don't know if you're going to be able to win this battle, my friend. This is deep, deep, deep, deep, deep. This is going to be a part-time job for you just to help her. She's going to need to pull her credit report and go line by line and go, how do we get you off of this? How do we get you off of this? Explore all the options. And then she's going to have to fight with the family and be excommunicated for ditching them in their time of need. And I don't know if you want to be the guy who's responsible for that. Create your free, every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.