Am I Obligated To Give My Dad's Girlfriend Money From His Estate? (They Were Together for 20 Years)

[music] Brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. >> Do I uh morally uh owe my dad's girlfriend uh money from his estate? >> Okay, >> there is so much context. >> Your dad's girlfriend. Tell us more. >> Well, number one, did you borrow money from your dad's girlfriend? >> I did not. >> So, why would you owe him money? >> Well, they've been together for quite some time. a little bit over 20 years uh now. And uh he passed away about two months ago. >> Um and they were living together at the time. And now um her uh her daughter is now pressuring uh family members on my side uh to somehow come together and financially split uh the money from his uh from his estate once we get it uh and give it >> Why are you getting it? Did it all go to you? >> No. So, it goes to uh me, my brother, and uh and my halfsister. Um they he did uh pass away unexpectingly uh without a will. Um and they were never married. >> Okay. So, I was going to ask what was there a will that said it went to you or the courts just decided this? >> No, it's there was no will. Uh and the the money will be split between uh me uh my brother and my sister. And how long was he with the girlfriend? >> Uh just just north of 20 years, 22 23 years something like that. >> And they lived together their did were their lives combined as though they were married? >> Basically. Yeah. >> And the daughter is that your dad's daughter or that's the girlfriend's daughter from another relationship? >> Correct. Yes. >> Oo, that's messy. Boy. Oh boy. What did she want? >> Yeah. What was his wishes? Did he have a will? like your name was on everything legally. >> Uh no, there was no will. Actually, yeah. No. >> So, it's just a next of kin thing. The government just goes, "All right, give it to the kids." >> What are they requesting? Uh what's the girlfriend requesting? And what's her attitude like? What's her demeanor been? >> Well, it's it's more her daughter is requesting. It's not necessarily her. >> She's trying to fight on behalf of her mom to go, "Mom, you're owed something. You were with this guy 20 years. This is crazy." Correct. >> How old is the daughter? Uh just over 30 30 31. >> And what's her tell me about her if you know anything. Is she doing okay financially or does this have the ability of like a lever that she's pulling to try to get something? >> No, she's she's not financially uh financially set. Um she um lives with her boyfriend. They have uh they actually have a baby on the way. um they are just kind of living their lives and I mean I I can understand where they're coming from with trying to get uh money back into her. Um and they're only really pressuring uh my youngest sister, my half sister. They're only pressuring her. They they won't come and talk to me. >> What What are they What are they asking for specifically? >> They're they're basically asking for her to either split and or give up uh her [laughter] portion of you. >> Give up What is the rationale for her giving up her share? >> Uh because uh because her mom put all this time and money into the the house basically. >> Okay. My dad is the house split amongst the three of you now. >> Uh whatever we have to sell the house. So whatever or whatever we have on top of that basically once all the debt gets paid. Um once the house gets paid off, once the debt gets paid. >> So the girlfriend has to move out. the girlfriend has to move out so you can sell the house. Is that right? Or she wasn't living there >> among among other things. Yeah. So, uh I I was actually so I was renting a house that my grandmother owned um and since uh since they had since we had we found out we had to sell the house, um they all needed a place to to live. So, I packed up me and my family and went and rented a different house. So that way they can move into that house paid for. That's that's that's my grandmother's own that house for like 55 years. So she's owned that house and that way they can all have a place to live and that way they're not, you know, struggling to jump around and find a place to live. It's my grandmother uh her and that brother or full brother and a stepbrother. Yeah. So it was just a decision me and my me and my wife made. >> Let me Can I recap that and make sure I understood it? So you were living in your grandmother's paid for house with your family and you said I'll leave that house. So my dad's girlfriend and daughter can move in there free and clear, right? >> Well, it's my So it was my my it was all basically all the people that lived at my dad's house. So it was my grandmother who had just moved in in February. >> Um uh his his girlfriend. I have a stepbrother which is her son. >> Oh my gosh. Um, and then my full brotherly they all have a place to live. >> So the girlfriend and the daughter are not displaced is what I'm saying. They're taken care of cuz my my thought the one thing I did wonder about is like okay she's been living with this man for 20 years. It does feel like the rug's being pulled under her out from under her if she has to move out of the house. She doesn't have a place to go and she doesn't have any money. Right. So it does make me feel better that she's got a place to live in death. She's not on the streets. She's not on the streets. And >> this is in Pennsylvania. all of this. >> Correct. And and the the the if if there's a silver lining to this, it's that I mean, they move into a house that is paid for. There's no rent. There's no mortgage. There's no there's basically living. >> Who pays the taxes? Who pays the taxes? >> My grandmother will be paying the taxes. >> Okay. So, >> but um but rent from the other three people that are living in the house will pay for their taxes. >> Great. Okay. Great. And does does girlfriend have to pay rent? I don't know their uh financial the way Hazo they're handling that house. Okay. Right now. >> And did she have to I I I'm just trying to understand. When she was living with your dad, did she pay or did he pay for everything or you don't know? >> Uh so they he basically paid for everything. She did work. Um she really only worked to so that way they can have insurance because he didn't have insurance for his company. So he basically held everything financial down. She kind of only worked enough to pay for insurance. Okay. >> I don't think that you guys are on the hook to do anything here. This is what happens when you don't have a will. This is what happens when you don't estate plan. >> When you don't get married and have a house you're not married to. So, there's a lot of things that went wrong here. And it's very complicated. But morally, legally, ethically, I don't think you owe anything. And here's the problem. If you guys do give them a dollar, they're going to come at you for the next dollar and the next $100. So, it's going to open a door. And I just would keep that door closed personally. Mhm. >> Yeah, that's what I was I was on the phone with my uh my youngest sister uh today just kind of going over and explaining that to her, but I just kind of wanted to get a little bit of a a second opinion. >> Well, there was never a commitment. So, and and that's what I'm going to base my answer on anyway is if you want a commitment to getting money out of a will, then you have to start with a commitment through marriage. And so that I'm gonna keep that same through line of a commitment was never made and therefore a commitment does not have to be fulfilled. Um, and that's kind of some people might be like, "Well, dang, Jade. Like the woman was living there for 20 years." And I get that. I hate that. For me, being okay with it is the fact that y'all didn't displace her. You made sure she has a place to live. >> She's she's taking she's okay on that end. And my other part is she had a role to play in this, too. It wasn't just that your dad left her without anything. She also could have said, "Hey, I'm here. I've been with you, you know, do you have a will? Is everything taken care of?" So, both >> for 20 years to not even think about this is pretty pretty wild behavior. And so, she put herself in a very risky position and now is, you know, is reaping the consequences of that. But under from what I've seen under Pennsylvania law, she has no right to any of this just as a girlfriend. She's an unrelated person in this and it's going to go to the legal error. So, I would consult a lawyer if you want to cover your bases. But morally, just based on feelings, you're going to feel guilty cuz this is not a good situation. But you did nothing to cause this. And I don't think it's your problem to solve either. >> Yeah. >> So, so sorry you're going through this. I mean, >> goodness. If I'm you, I'm like, lesson learned. I don't want to put my family in the situation. Let me simplify and not intertwine family finances and non-family and are we or aren't we? Just keep things very, very [music] clear. >> Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your