How Do I Tell My Girlfriend I Lied About How Much Money I Make?

brought to you by the Every Dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. >> I'm about $4,000 in credit card debt right now. I don't have any other loans, no any other anything else. And um basically me and my girlfriend have been talking about um getting married and I've been thinking about just engaging to her soon and stuff and she we've been talking about homes and everything like that and we've been I've been talking to her about the show but I just want to know how can I tell my girlfriend that I kind of lied about my financial situation. >> Oh no you lied. What happened? So basically I only told her I have like $2,000. >> Why did you lie, Trey? Why? >> So at first that's where I was at and then I started just it started racking up over time. But I did get my first my well my third apartment and then I just not. >> So let me make this let me understand. When you told her you had 2K, did you have 2K and then you accumulated another two without telling her that you accumulated >> that while you were accumulating the other two? >> Yes. >> Okay. >> Okay. That makes me feel a little bit >> Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So, you didn't lie to her like upfront, but you've not been honest with her since. When was that conversation that you told her 2K and now it's 5K? Was it a year ago or like two weeks ago? >> It was a couple It was a couple weeks ago. >> Couple weeks. >> So, you accumulated the 2K in two weeks. >> Yeah. Oh, okay. Um, >> doing what again? Did you say your third apartment? What What was the 2K for? >> Um, uh, 2K was used mainly for basically like a lot of the like stuff that I have like currently. I got a lot of new stuff. >> Um, that I really haven't kind of told her about either. Like, I got a lot of new stuff. >> Name it. >> I got a new bed. Okay. >> I got a new bed. >> I got um some other like f um like pots, pans, stuff like that. >> Okay. cuz you just moved. Okay. So, you're buying stuff for the apartment. >> I moved not too So, basically, I moved not too long ago, but I've been at her apartment a lot of my time. >> Understood. >> So, a lot of this stuff has been at I've been at her apartment and I'm telling I'm like moving. >> What do you think will happen if you say, "Hey, just so you know, >> now she's listening now." So, she's probably hearing me. >> Is she there with you or is she like at work listening and you're going to come home to >> Fury? listening on the Yes, I'm going to >> All right. Well, hi Trey's girlfriend. Hope you're doing well. >> This is like my Why did you make it like this? Trey. Okay. So, um, what's your girlfriend's name? Can you say it since she's listening? >> Shayla. >> Shayla. Shayla. >> I can say it. >> All right. Shayla. Um, now you know. And we're trying to tell him he needs to come home tonight and tell you what happened, but he's telling you now. So, the key here is you need to start paying this off. What are you making? What do you earn, Trey? >> So, I uh originally earned around 48, but now I make around 50 cuz I got a 4% pay increase. >> Good. >> Um, so I make around 50 a year. >> Good. >> Um, at this point, I've been talking, me and her have been talking about this, like we've been talking about your show. We've been talking about the baby steps. I sent it to her today >> um and stuff. So, we've been really talking and honing in and we've been talking about all the stuff about getting out of debt. She kind of told me where she's in debt on her end. >> How much does she have? I kind of just like um around 8 or 9,000 and it's in student loans. >> Okay. Now, can I ask you Trey, if you've been listening to this show, what caused you to go I mean, you have a fine income 50,000. What caused you to go into debt to buy pots and pans in a bed? Why didn't you just cash flow that? What was going through your mind? So, at first, um, the problem was was that I had to get the the stuff that's currently in my apartment. The like couch and bed stuff is not mine. It was my sister. So, I had to give that back to her. >> Got you. So, you felt like you were in a time crunch. >> Yes. I was in a time crunch situation where was like I had to, you know, kind of spend it. Just kind of do it. Either do it now. I see. So, I just want to encourage you going forward. I love that you and your and and Shayla are listening to the show. I love that you guys are starting to hone in on this. I just want to encourage you uh and also just admonish you going forward. There's always going to be times where you feel like there's a time crunch. There's going to be times where you feel like you have to move fast. >> Urgency is where the debt the debt industry loves you when you're urgent. Whether you're on a car a lot and you're like, I got to get a new car. >> I moved. Oh god. Oh god. >> They find you in crisis. >> That's right. 100%. 100%. But if you can start now to exercise the muscle of just even taking a moment, taking a breather and going, "Okay, what can I do instead? Can I can I sleep on a friend's couch for a week while I save up some money? Yes. Could I go on Craigslist? I don't even know if Craigslist air mattress, a $100 air mattress. >> I slept on an air mattress for a long time." >> Yeah. So, just always know, Trey, that there is always another option. Okay. So, in a situation, whether it's furniture or a car, >> there are options out there. So slowing down is a really big part of making wise financial decisions, not feeling like you're backed into a corner. >> Um that and then and I would want to get to and again it's only been two weeks so it's not like you've lived with this for months and like lied to her, right? You know, I mean like but I would want to know from you what's caused you to not tell her? Is it because she'll get mad? Is it that you're embarrassed? Is it that you wish you had done better and now you kind of have some guilt and shame around the choices that you've made? What was the main motivation? Do you know? I >> I would say honestly for me the main thing was just like you know me and her have been talking about marriage. Um and like we've been talking about how much do we want to spend. She been talking about being getting eloped and said so we can save a lot of that money. We don't just go in and just have this big wedding ceremony. >> Yeah. >> Um and she's not looking for that. I think we've been it was a situation where it was like a little bit of embarrassment like dang like you know I didn't really want to tell her that I just did this because she's going to she's going to tell me hey why did you do that you didn't need to do that we could figure something out >> yeah even even this even this Trey is an example of just learning that communication pattern you had a feeling about not telling her you didn't tell her but then even still you came on the show as a strange way of telling her I would just want uh encourage you in the future, just if this is a person you love, you trust, go to them and tell them the truth. >> Yeah. And starting off marriage with hiding the pots and pans, Trey, >> we don't want to do that. >> We don't want to do that. We don't want to get we don't want to get in that habit because genuinely, I mean, secrets start to they that erodess trust so fast. And as honest as you can be, Trey, with her about this and going forward, I mean, yeah, Jada, we've been married, we've been married over a decade, both of us, and >> to men, >> what we've learned husbands. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's sorry, not to each other, to our own spouses. >> Uh that we one thing >> I think we both say that, you know, it there are things that are going to come up in life that you're embarrassed about and you're sh you know, you don't like things. You know what I mean? like that is going to happen and the moment you start hiding those things is where that trust erodess. So the more vulnerable and honest you can be trained this is a great first step and let me just say >> to lighten the lighten the load a little bit that it's $2,000. Okay >> some you know sometime it could be much worse. It can be much worse but but that doesn't matter regardless of the amount. It's the principle behind it >> that I want you to get in a healthy pattern of you guys communicating and being and and I want you to cut up the credit. Was it credit cards that you that you charged it on? You said >> yes, it was it was credit cards. >> Okay. Cut it up. You guys have been talking and listening to the show. You've been talking about the show. Listen to the show when she start doing the stuff that we talk about. >> So, cut up the credit cards, you guys. Cash. She sounds amazing. I know she's listening. Girl, we are for you. We are on her team and your team, Trey. But >> she sounds so levelheaded. And be wise about this. You know, if you don't have the money, don't buy it. And let that start to be a pattern in your life. And that that includes the engagement ring. That includes the wedding and the honeymoon and all the things. Um, but yeah, I I think I think it's going to be awesome. Do you know when you're going to Well, no, I don't ask. >> How long have you been together? >> Right now, I've been with her off and on. We were off and on for about a year now. But, um, I have been secured with her for about going on three months now. >> Secured with her. That's a good really on like a phase I didn't know about. >> Yeah. secured like it before we stopped talking for a little bit and then we got back together. >> Okay. Okay. >> I like it. I like it, Trey. >> I'm excited for y'all. >> Oh, man. Love it. >> And all the all the security coming forward. It's great. >> Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your