Dump My Girlfriend Because She Lives Paycheck-to-Paycheck

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. I'm 27. I'm working a full-time job making $75,000 to $80,000 a year. And I also have a part-time job making $20,000 an hour. And I'm working on Baby Step 2, trying to pay off $25,000 in debt for what I have remaining. So my question is, I have a girlfriend. We've been together a year and a half, and we've been talking marriage pretty seriously. But there's some major things We don't align on as far as budget goes. I obviously follow the baby steps and want to be very structured. She has said that she's comfortable living paycheck to paycheck and doesn't feel the need to save an emergency fund or for retirement because she struggles with several chronic diseases and doesn't feel like she's going to see 50. So she says, what's the point of saving in a 401k with money I'll never get to see? She even said that she wants to move to Europe because she feels like going somewhere with socialized health care, she'll actually be able to afford to live and will have a better health outcome. And she really kind of feels like that because it has to do with her health and being able to live a decent life is not something she should have to compromise on as far as, you know. Whether or not I want to go with her or not. Thank And I'm just, you know, we've been fighting a lot lately and that has a lot to do with it. And I love her. you I want us to succeed. I love her family. But I'm not sure if there's a path forward that's healthy for us. for Nick, I don't think this is a conversation about money, brother. having This is a conversation about you want to marry somebody and y'all create a unified joint life together. And she's being very clear as I don't want. me. I don't want to create a new life with you. If you want to join me on the life that I feel like having, which is very 100% YOLO, then you're welcome to join me. Does that sound right? Yeah. Money, your budgeting differences is a symptom of a deeper issue, which is her saying, I don't... Let me be honest with you, brother. In my marriage, my wife was not as a looney tune as I was about not having a car payment and not having a mortgage. But my wife loved me and loved that she had a husband who wanted peace. And she said, I'm all in on that. And so you get what I'm saying? My wife was more interested in us building a thing together than her getting her way and me getting mine. And then come the budgeting principles and the baby steps and flung out stuff. But right now you have somebody who is... I have a chronic disease I've already projected into the future. I'm going to die young, so I'm going to live completely responsibility-free. I'm going to spend everything I got. I'm going to live paycheck to paycheck, come what may, and I want someone else to take care of it whenever I get struck by lightning. So be it. And if you want to be a part of that chaos, then fine. And that's not a marriage. That's you hopping onto somebody else's roller coaster. So, Nick, my old pastor that passed away several years ago, When he and his wife got married, um, you know, when the dinosaurs roamed the earth million years ago, he used to tell the story over and over and over from the pulpit that they didn't have two nickels to rub together. And, um, they got married at like 18, 19 years old, right back in the day, you know? And, uh, but he used to tell the story over and over and over again that she said, I don't care if I have to live in a tent, I'm going with you. That's the exact opposite of your girlfriend. Yeah. What she said to me last night was, um, I can either go with her, lose her to dying in America or lose her to, she's going to move on her own. I mean, I'm sorry that she's ill. Um, but there's another thing in this, the spirit of Eeyore has gotten hold of her. I mean, it's like, Oh, everything's so bad. Thank God it's Friday. You know, and that's the YOLO thing coming out, but it's all negative. Because I know some people who are... I mean, there's a YOLO thing that's kind of positive. It's like, whee-hee, I'm going to party, right? That's YOLO. But this is YOLO. I'm going to die tomorrow, so I just got to go ahead and party now. And I know some folks with some lifelong disabilities. I know folks with... serious chronic health issues, who has the exact opposite outlook, which is, I'm going to fight this thing, I'm going to plant my heels in the ground, and you and me are doing life together, and we're going to plan for the next 50 years. We're going to live it up, baby. Yeah, we are. We're going to live it up and live it up together. You and me versus the world. Aim together. So, Nick, I think she told you last night what's happening here. Yeah. I think she broke up with you last night, Nick. Yeah, might have been. And I mean, that's my real struggle is, um, You know, I, I want to find the point of, so I understand, you know, she's dealing with a lot of mental issues going on with this. She's been there since nine. She's facing a lot of different things and she's asking you to face it with her, but only on her terms, not on our terms. And so this is not by John's definition. This is not a unified approach to life. This is you being a puppy following along, doing what you're told. And you can be her great friend, and you can support her and write her letters and stuff, but this isn't the recipe for a ride-or-die marriage. No. I'm sorry. Yeah, I hate that. God, it breaks my heart. And you said something powerful, brother. You like her family. You like the idea of building a world with her. And that means not only are you going to have to grieve this breakup, but you're going to have to grieve the picture. You had made plans, man. And grieving future plans is hard. It's hard, man. So I'm with you. I'm heartbroken for you. Yeah, coming to the realization that what you were dreaming about is not going to occur. Right. Create your free EveryDollar budget today, the simplest way to budget for your life.