I Don’t Know How To Stop You From Doing This

[Music] brought to you by the every dollar app start budgeting for free today uh I have a question on what I should do I'm I'm planning on uh building a house on my parents land during the next year or two and I want to know how to go about it um so i' I've been listening to your show for about four months now and in that time uh I've been fortunately I've paid off about $26,000 in debt good for you and I'll be debt free right now in about the next 3 months I should be completely debt free MH um and I want to know should I so I live next to my parents right now in a tiny house that I built last year so my question is should I save up for a down payment and get a construction loan to finance the the house I'm doing a barndominium one of the barn kits um or should I just save up and try to pay it all out in cashh and be able to do it you know over the next probably three years to be able to build the entire thing um I I have been in construction for the past 13 years so I'm you know pretty handy on that stuff cool so you're single no no I'm married okay I'm married with h with h one kid and I got one on the way wow in a tiny home that's impressive yeah or crazy I'm not sure which but yeah okay yeah that's also that's also a big factor now my wife it's um it's not I mean it's about 500 square fet um she she wants us she said she's okay in it that she doesn't need uh you know immediate big house or anything but I don't know I kind of feel a sense of urgency with the next kick coming on the way okay so explain to me um the land is going to be retitled to you so a couple years ago um I did a business on the land and they they had to do a quick claim deed just to put my name on it so I don't know if that would on the whole piece of land yeah yeah on the whole piece yeah okay so so your parents live on the land too yes so you now own the property that they live on well see I'm not sure I mean the quick claim deed I'm added on to it but they're also still there I mean they're they still have their name on the land and my name is added to it also okay okay um and I'm guessing this is generational land um no yeah so was it your grandpa's no no my dad bought it now his plans are he wants to give each of of his kids a portion of the land it's split into five Lots he owns all five lots and they're all tied into the same it's already platted and subdivided yes deed one of the lots to you then exclusively you without their name on it okay do not do this where your parents own the property the dirt under your barn dominium no or own a portion of the dirt no so okay the quit claim deed was probably either done poorly or wrong you guys need to look at that because if they they probably they I guess they put some percentage of an undivided interest or something into your name um but that means you now own all a portion of all those lots that are your brothers and sisters right that was dumb okay it's unclean and when you do things that are unclean like that because everybody's just going to get along then they don't get along then you're completely screwed so let me ask you what happens if you get a these tracks of land are how big five acres you said two and a half two and a half okay so you get two and a half is completely in your name you build a barndominium on it and 3 years later you decide to move to Kansas City can you sell it you own it but relationally is everybody going to lose their freaking Minds yeah 100% yeah that's 100% I would not build on it then it's I mean it's where I grew up and I yeah I'm pretty I'm me and my wife are both hard sale on raising let me just tell you what you're 100% going to stay there if it goes toxic if it goes sideways if your brother gets into cocaine if your mother has dementia and shoots somebody all kinds of crap man I've been doing this 35 years nothing works like you think it's going to work when stuff happens you've got to have some autonomy and you don't have any it's as if you never left home and live in their basement this is really bad I personally wouldn't do what you're doing and I would advise you against it not because I think your parents are bad people I don't or that you're bad people or that you really don't think you're going to stay there you really think you're going to stay there and you really might but the truth is most people don't the truth is 40 years from now the chances of you being on that piece of dirt's almost zero that's the truth people just don't it life changes things come up different things occur in family situations you don't want to be over there I don't know what's in your future that's positive or negative that would push you away from that dirt but you have no ability to leave it with the deal you're doing and that is just bad medicine and if you're going to go forward though at least for God's sakes get it in your name don't be building on something that's got your parents' name on the dirt 100% of that lot is in you and your wife's name at least you've got the legal option of turning the property over if you need to even though relationally you don't think you would ever want to I get that you don't think that's going to happen Dan but what you don't get is you you think you're doing six things that cause cancer I'm a cancer doctor I seen cancer for 35 years you're doing all the stuff that causes cancer and you're going to have cancer and I don't know I I don't know how to stop you from doing it so that that's the problem and so I I I have to come at this from the negative because it's what you and I see every day George yeah these are handcuffs made of dirt so is there an alternative here Dave where he goes all right I'm going to buy land elsewhere that that is mine that I will build on that's what I would do that feels like the best alternative you know even if it's down the street I mean in the neighborhood but uh my kids live uh you know in a 30-minute radius from us I would be heartbroken if they moved to Kansas City you know I'd be heartbroken if they moved away with my grandkids I don't want that uh but I don't get to decide that they get to decide that and he's surrendering his autonomy he's surrendering his ability to make a decision for his family unit um regard no matter what happens it's like en chiseled in concrete you know and he might be pouring six figures into something that he can't get back out he can't get it out because he we want real estate to be an investment and well it's going to go up in value but if you're unwilling to sell it under any circumstances because of the dirt handcuff four siblings now that are upset about it that's the number of times I've gotten the call from uh Dusty the your wife that says my husband and I built on his dad's property and we can't sell it I've gotten that call 50 times easy and and it's never it's never a good call so you guys do what you want to do I'm going to try to talk you out of it I doubt I did though create your free every 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