I’m 64 and Just Found Out My Wife Is Pregnant

[Music] brought to you by the every dooll app start budgeting for free today ah Dave I got a question for you Dave I hope you can help me out here I've been trying to decide which way to go here okay recently retired uh had medical condition that forced me to retire had to take a cut and pay um I ow 90,000 on a $240,000 house it' be paid off in 7 years years I own my car I own my truck uh the question is this uh having some health issues I'm thinking about moving my wife been helping me and now uh she's pregnant she needs help um I'm thinking about sending her out to her relatives in another state and I'm saying well if she go out there who's going to help me so I'm thinking about relocating selling the house and I'm trying to decide should I keep the house wait for her to get back in 3 to 4 months sell the house go out there and I'm kind of stuck here because I'm trying to get help here and if I don't how old are you I am 64 and you have a baby on the way yes okay how how old is your wife 37 okay cool all right um and what's the nature of your health problem sir uh have to do with uh muscle condition rare disorder they trying to figure it out as they go along okay so uh 6 months eight months from today where do you all want to be living with your new baby preferably in a house that uh we can afford this one but um thinking about going to another state why thinking about um just because there's relatives in help out there okay so you've got family in another area and that's attractive what area is that uh out in California that's closer to uh I want to say Riverside closer to Riverside well it's a we bit different price Market than Buffalo New York brother uh yeah I figed that yeah I think the uh monthly storage rates are about $390,000 [Laughter] yeah yeah I don't I think if you want to do something affordable and your income was just cut and your health is failing and you have a brand new baby on the way probably the California real estate market is not going to be friendly to you my friend I'd be getting my Kansas on Hicks yeah I'd be looking for Kansas or west Texas that's where I'd be going some someplace that's affordable and um Andor stay where you are you don't have friends and family there yeah I do seem like a lot of people busy yeah they're busy in California too what does that mean yeah that they're busy people don't want to help you uh they help as as they can yeah are you are you specific in your help request uh yeah um I got some helping then I told him what's going on I've been uh with the doctor back and forth it it came on so suddenly I really didn't have a chance to catch my breath too much I was uh uh they say it's rare and they don't see it that much and they're doing all these different things to try to help me and does your wife work outside the home sir she did until until she got further long in a pregnancy yeah okay because it sounds like y'all are going to need her income to come back after the baby comes is that fair yep that's exactly what we've been talking about exactly yeah so that's why I'm at Dave and uh yeah I don't have a magic wand if you told me a bunch of friends and family were in an affordable Market I would be all for this you're talking about moving to one of the more expensive areas in the world okay and so um you know Riverside is just not cheap man and it's not you know you're going to your mind's going to be blown what it'll take to buy a house like you've got right now there and so it's just not transferable um I think the help you would gain is going to be far offset by The increased cost and I don't think it's going to be worth it so if you if you have a different location with some family that is an affordable location maybe the move makes sense um but I think you guys have got to continue to talk through where you want to be that you can afford to live and prosper with the current situation you find yourself in a new baby 37y old wife that's working you've got uh a muscular disorder of some kind and um you're trying to you know where do I want to be living in that situation what for this next chapter of my life and it that that I can afford and I think if you make a visit out to the California Market that you're talking about I think you're going to discover quickly that that's not affordable to you and with what you're describing to me so I might be wrong you might there may be something I don't know but so you could go go look at it it doesn't cost that much to go look um but um I'm going to have a plan B if we don't go there what are we going to do and then then under that situation I'll go look but don't don't tell me you were forced to move to an area you can't afford because you're not forced you just got to make some different choices there in Buffalo man I'm sorry I wish I had a magic wine that could make all this go away and I don't there's not a good answer to that bad situation folks there's just some answers there's just some we can just kind of walk with you and think with you while you're facing these things but there's not a you know there's not a a simple thing and just go do that it's not this this there's a lot going on here and uh all we can do is just sit here and be a sounding board with you and bounce those ideas back at you and see if they sound crazy when they come back at you across the net yeah and just a quick note if if you reaching out and everyone sounds busy everyone's got quote unquote stuff going on uh doesn't work every time but often people will send a text message to some friends and say hey I've got some health struggles or I've got some challenges if I'd love to get together for some coffee well man now people are wondering well who's on this text thre how many people that's like I'm just going to wait and then nobody responds it's different when you say hey Dave I've been really struggling is there a chance that you and I can get together tomorrow at 10:00 I'm going to get coffee I'm buying I'd love it if you met me there that's a specific request that I want to meet with you I want to talk to you and people are much more likely to respond to that and they're to respond affirmatively like I'll be there or I can't make that one but I can do this date at noon and so instead of just throwing these vague grenade balloons that just kind of LOF out over be specific be and risk some people saying I can't show up for you yeah I got I I listen I need to ride the doctor tomorrow can you help me can you pick me up at 7:00 yeah that's right I got a doctor's appointment at can be specific yeah that boom people will say yes or no yes or no that's right and by the way you got to be okay with her no if they're busy that's okay but at least you right but you're more likely to get I can't do that but I could but I can get you know cousin Judy to come to it you know I got 10 bucks for I got your Uber tomorrow great I'll cover your Uber yes that's it that's it that's the way you work it yeah very specific in the thing cuz when I hear I've got a friend in the hospital right this second and when I you know I'm talking to uh her husband back and forth and I'm like okay well you know what can we do to help how can we help you I mean we how can we serve you you want to sure and make you dinner I mean can we come over do you want no no okay I start having to suggest in of course that's okay I don't mind that I'm not complaining but I'm saying but that's a close friend if it's just this vague kind of yeah kind of out there and even then sometimes when it's kind of that vague I'll say me and Sheila are bringing dinner tomorrow we're going to be there at 6:00 if that doesn't work for you you got to let me know yeah and then then sometimes they'll go all right thank God yeah and then sometimes they'll say well we got four other dinners tomorrow night's not a good day but I'm going to be specific that's exactly what Sharon did yeah it's exactly how that works good that's a good call out good call out so Hicks the people that are busy around you you might get um more help if you're specific is John's Point create your free every dooll budget today the simplest way to budget for your life