I Discovered Another Infidelity and I'm Pregnant

Brought to you by the every dollar app start budgeting for free today So hopefully i'm not too long-winded for you guys, but um, i'm calling for kind of some relationship help as long as financial advice Um, my husband of five years, unfortunately has a history of infidelity where he talks to other women Online well, or he's i've caught him with his ex-girlfriend things like that talking to them inappropriately Yeah, and so things were going well though, um, yeah and then uh, sorry, he also has a little bit history of alcohol, but That has gotten better Um, sorry, but things are going well. Uh, and we're expecting a baby at the end of the summer. Oh, wow because we're Expecting a baby. We bought a bigger home And we literally just moved into it a couple weeks ago um and Uh, I still have the old home that's under my name and my dad's name because I got that prior to um Marrying my husband. Um, but unfortunately on friday I found an explicit photo uh on my husband's computer Like that he recently received from his ex-girlfriend Oh stacy, i'm so sorry Yeah so Um, it opens up old wounds. Uh, of course it does and did y'all go to marriage? Did y'all go to therapy at all for all of this? Has he done any work on himself? we did some uh therapy in the past but um It's all online. It's so hard to get like someone a couple therapy together Um, and he kind of just says i'm gonna get better i'm gonna get better but out of his own Yeah, no, he's sick. There's something yeah, there's something off going on. Um That he needs healing from and only he can do that because it's a repeated pattern and And it will continue, you know, like self-will doesn't just get you out of stuff like this I mean he has some deep work that he has to do if he chooses to um Has this become physical in person in any way? No, I don't think so like and I I believe him and I don't think he would ever Physically cheat on me. It's just emotional cheating over time. Yeah, I mean it's still the same pain the infidelity is Still feels very real. Okay. So how can we help? What's what's your main question? So sorry, so then going to Financial advice we just moved into this new home higher interest rate bigger home bigger loan I um the next day after finding out about this. Sorry, this is all kind of new. No, you're fine Talking about it. Take your time. You're good Um the next day I got all cash offer on the old home. Um, but I was sitting there In the big home alone by myself and I was like, there's no way I could stay in this house If things don't go well, i'm a single mom like this home is more expensive Bigger lot to take care of things like that. Yeah um, so I kind of had like a conference call with my parents because they kind of Know about the history and my realtor and I said what I don't want to sell the old home. I think I I guess my question is and I hope i'm making the right decision go back into the old home less interest rate less monthly payment less loan So sell the new home. I just have a lot of guilt. Okay I obviously spent all this money like And i'm gonna have realtor fees and things like that and sure. Okay. Tell me this. Um, Stacy How much is the new mortgage payment? 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Uh, if I if I ended up being on my own I make around 140 140. Okay um and on the old home is um, like 1500 Well a month with half the interest rate 1500 okay, but you you probably clear what close to ten thousand ish a little less a month Yeah, yeah. Okay, maybe Yep, because the mortgage isn't Completely. Yeah, the worst comes to worst you could afford this new house mortgage on your own And still have cushion. Yeah, how much would the would your other home sell for how much was the cash offer? Uh 420 420 and what do you owe on that one? Oh, sorry. Sorry 410 410 and I owe Uh, probably around 140 left on it. Okay Um, and what other debt do you guys have? um, I probably have 15 000 I could easily pay off but I Okay, it's old student loans that I should just pay off. Sorry a little guilty. I listen to you guys. No, you're good You're good. No guilt. No shame. No condemnation. Yeah Oh, yeah, I can I can pay that. Well, i'm trying to figure out a way Do you love the new house? Like would you want to stay there if it made sense financially? um with this baby, it's a big house and um I guess i'm still like i'm still like do I Do I want to do this on my own? I think it'd be harder to do that big house on my own. Like it's just such a just the maintenance of it It's it's double your house. You're talking stacey very like You sound finalized in your in your conversation with us about him that your new chapter is solo. Yeah Um, is that yeah, where are you? I mean, I can't imagine that the heartbreak Is yeah solo for now for sure. I I need some time to separate because Obviously whatever i've done in the past has not worked out. Okay So I need it. Um, I obviously like sorry, there's so many things emotions and it's kind of all new but there I obviously want to have a family. I want to raise our son and yeah a good environment with a good dad But right now I think just I need to take some time and so I don't have like a hundred percent What will happen in the future, but I like to be serious and make sure he That's fair on himself and gets help. Yes. Yep. A hundred percent and I yep I get that it's not a healthy situation and to live with broken trust your whole marriage Yeah is not a great marriage and so the work yeah, we always I mean our prayer for situations always um, you know is is that redemption and reconciliation and the prayer is that You know two people find healing and it and it stays intact like we we want that but also Also, we know the reality and also know that you have to take care of yourself and this new baby, too. So um, I have a A option that maybe we haven't thought about what is the mortgage on the new house? uh Sorry, the mortgage on the new house would probably be around 2,500. No, I mean the the balance of the mortgage Oh, sorry, the balance of the mortgage would probably be it Like around 300. So if I sell my old house already depending on equity and things like that Then i'd be probably around 300. Oh Got it. So this is all for the loan. Sorry for the loan So you haven't taken out a mortgage yet on the new house? Oh, no, sorry. Sorry. I'm bad with these finance 560,000 that's the current balance Is that? Okay. No, we put 200 down. Um that kind of was a and that's without your home loan with my parents Oh, so you owe them that money back No, because I have equity in the other house with my dad But i'm saying if you sold it you can't use that money toward the new mortgage you'd use that money to pay back your parents um Probably the difference My plan was just to pay them back the 200 grand Yeah, because of the equity. I I know I for sure have at least 200 and equity You probably walk away with like 250 That's why i'm trying to get at if you use that 250 to put onto your new mortgage and then did something called a recast It would drastically lower your payment You basically throw a lump sum at the new mortgage and they can take it down So you're saying sell the sell the smaller home. Yep Pay off the parents take the remaining take the 50 grand on this new house It might take your payment down to 2100 for example, just to give you a little more cushion But again, it doesn't solve all the problems I thought you could throw all 250 at it that would really lower the mortgage and make you sleep better at night, but That feels like the least of your worries at this point Honestly, stacey, I would probably just stay put I don't think I would make any big decisions right now And if you need the separation do the separation Have the I I wouldn't do much right now and I would look a year from now. You need to sell. Yes Yeah, I probably would wait a little bit create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your life