I Wasted $5000 Flying EVA From Chicago to Taipei!!

In this video, it looks like this is where you're supposed to go if there's a tsunami. You're going to see what it's like to travel from Puerto Rico to Saigon on EVA airlines. We have a main course, we have sweets, we have coffee, tea. There's a lot coming up, including all the food available along the way. This is what the original 10 commandments of the ocean were written on. We are on an airplane. Why does this steak look like it just came from a fine dining restaurant? Right here, beautiful pork belly. I mean, why isn't this a normal thing in the USA? But first, let's back up. We just finished a production in Puerto Rico. Now it's time to go home. And what better way to go home than on EVA airlines? It's the airline of Taiwan. That's in East Asia. They have great food. So I have high hopes. Right now, we're in Chicago at the O'Hare airport. We took a flight from Puerto Rico here to O'Hare. That flight was about five and a half hours. Now, did we eat on that flight? Absolutely. What did we have? I don't know. I took notes. They were serving two different meal options, pasta and chicken. The chicken looked good-ish. I didn't actually eat it. My wife ate that. I ate the pasta. The pasta was fantastic. They also had a sad-looking salad composed mostly of cucumber, a ball of bread with grass lard butter, and a cookie that looked like it was stolen from a child. Now, would I eat a cookie stolen from a child? Yes, absolutely. Right now, we're about to board our longest flight. From here to Taipei, it is 16 hours. I think this is the longest flight I've ever been on. I'm a little bit nervous. Nervous isn't the right word. I'm just full of dread. I don't want to do it. Since we have a couple of hours before we board our flight, we are going to the lounge. Which lounge should we get access to? Well, there is no EVA lounge. There is no Taiwan lounge. They gave us access to Swiss Port. What is that? Do they have fondue fountains? Let's go in and find out. Welcome to Swiss Port. All right, so we're inside. My first impressions, this is the dollar store of lounges. I think this is an old closet that they turned into a lounge. Oh, I found a seat. Let's go sit down. At this point, I'm not sure what to eat because this is the worst lounge I've ever been to in my life. It looks like this is where you're supposed to go if there's a tsunami. So let's do a food tour. Check it out. Bananas, oranges, apples wrapped in plastic. The best part is they have this. And if you're going to be in this lounge, you do need that. They have dry snacks. Also, this might be rations in case we're stuck in here. They have a Tuscan turkey sandwich and they have an Italian salami sandwich. Oh, we have an Italian chef in the kitchen, I think. All right, let's get some sandwiches. Some pasta that would make any decent Italian chef kill themselves. And let's take a seat. That's literally everything. All right, guys, I'm trying to be a little bit quiet because everybody in the lounge is within 10 feet of me because the lounge is very small. Okay, so here's the situation. Here's the situation. We have a Tuscan turkey sandwich right here. Do you want to feel like you've been whisked away to Tuscany? Well, this isn't going to do it for you. But this is their attempt. Wow, look at that. Some meat, some cheese, a very dry roll. This. Technically, if you brought this through security, it would be considered projectile. It's very hard. Cheers. Uninspiring. They did their best. I don't think they did their best, to be honest. At least they have some proper utensils here. Choppy sticks. What kind of Asian noodles are these? This is known as a pasta salad. Good old pasta salad. I'll give it a five out of 100. Right here, an Italian salami sandwich. We are in Chicago, in Italy. Sandwiches look just like this. We have meat, cheese, sadness, sorrow, and despair. And a roll that's even harder. If you dropped it on a child, they would perish. Cheers. This is survival food in a lounge where everyone here has paid thousands of dollars for their plane ticket. Yeah, it's rough. But beer is beer, no matter where you are. Cheers. It's warm. What the f***? Anyways, next we're getting on the airplane. And my god, the food better be amazing, because I am stuck on that plane for 16 hours. Deep breath, hope for the best. Oh, here it is. The pod is indeed huge. I cannot wait. Very excited. This really gives me Japan vibes. It feels big and good, but it also feels like a pod from the 90s. It feels old. All right, right here we have a TV that can, like, be put away. That's where my feet will go when I sleep. This is a cute pillow. This is to appeal to their demographic of seven-year-olds who are rich. We got headphones here. Slippers for feet. And this, a sleeping bag, maybe? Oh, it's just a blanket. It's like when you go on Qatar Airlines, you get literal pajamas. Here I have a Hello Kitty pillow and a blanket. I want a Hello Kitty blanket. It doesn't even match. Oh, but this is nice. This is a toiletry kit. Inside, a coin purse, paper, reading material, earplugs, a comb. Are they mocking me at this point? My true feelings are these. Compared to the other business class flights I've been on, it's okay. Hopefully, the food is good. They're gonna bring me some sparkling wine soon, and then we'll check out that menu. Wow, the bubbles killed my throat. I'm good though. Okay, let's check out the menu. First of all, they don't call it an appetizer or an amuse-bouche. They call it a prelude. That's gonna be our first course. Something from the bakery. We have hors d'oeuvres. We have a main course. We have sweets. We have coffee, tea. There's a lot coming out. Guys, you would not believe what just happened. I am now enchanted with EVA Airlines because they just brought me pajamas. I'm gonna go change. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the prelude. It is roasted beef and caramelized onion and white bread topped with... Wait, white bread? Yeah, it's just white bread. And white bread topped with ketchup caviar on egg slice. Let's try it out, starting with the beef. Cool? Weird. Might say that onion is very caramelized. That tasted almost sweet. There's like a little crackery ball and inside it was a piece of beef. Here we have the bread with egg and fish roe. Better. It's like a delicious egg salad. I gotta start making egg salad with salmon roe. That is a good start. All right, folks. Right here we have course number two. This is the hors d'oeuvres. It is grilled prawn and octopus carpaccio with mango ceviche dressing. Basically, it's some greens and then shrimp. And that's like octopus carpaccio. It's very thinly sliced octopus. It is like this is what the original 10 commandments of the ocean were written on. Tasty though. So now we have a salad. Don't care. And then we have the shrimpies. Tilled, dense, a beautiful texture. Quite delicious. I like it. Coming up next, the main course. They give you two meat options. You could get sea bass or you could get meat from a cow. I don't understand a person who goes onto an airplane in business class and says, Oh, today I want fish. What do you need? Omega threes? But here's what I got. Grilled US prime Angus beef filet with crystal pink salt or red pepper reduction. Okay, I don't remember getting an option, but it is. I think it's a red pepper reduction on there. It's looking red and peppery. This looks fantastic. It's on like a little lattice structure of asparagus. There's sauce on the bottom. There's whatever the hell that is. Let's try an asparagus. There's turbulence, but I've had three wines, so it doesn't bother me. Asparagus, 10 out of 10. Very good. Which is wild. We are on an airplane. Why does the steak look like it just came from a fine dining restaurant? Let's hit up the steak. Oh, yeah. All right. Medium well. I'll deal with it. Cheers. Undeniable. That filet is perfectly tender, juicy, and delicious. Typically, I would finish up a steak like this and order dessert. But the dessert, there's two options. Fruit. Okay, I'm American. Fruit is health food. The other option is green tea tiramisu. I don't like green tea. So I may be skipping the dessert today. From here, I'm going to take a long nap, and then I'm going to try some other a la carte options. There's not a lot, but what they do have is a lobster roll. How do they serve a lobster roll on an airplane? I'm going to find out in five hours. All right, guys. We are 10 hours into this flight, and it is nighttime. I woke up from my nap, and I was hungry. And so they only have two snacks here. I got one already. I got the lobster roll. I tried it. It sucked. It was dry, bready. So I got the other snack. This. This is just called a rice roll with beef. So it looks like kind of a steamed rice sheet on the outside, and then beef on the inside, and then maybe a soy-based sauce or teriyaki sauce. It looks ugly, but I think it might taste decent. Let's try it out. No, it's very okay. It's just salty. So I just have a few hours to go until breakfast is served. I will have to wait for that and hope for the best. Rough. All right, folks. We are 14 hours into this plane ride, and alas, we have our final meal. This is breakfast. There are two breakfast options. There's the Western style, or what I went for, the Chinese style. We've got Chinese plain congee. Things that come with it. Egg pancake. It's like a steamed egg loaf. It's almost like Korean gyeran-jjim. Very yummy. They have pickled turnip, minced pork, bean curd, traditional side dishes. What is this? I'm gonna cut some kind of a fish floss. Here's the best idea. Don't try to figure out what this stuff is. Just put it in the congee. Put that in there. A little more of that. See? Look how colorful that looks. Put some of that in there. Give it a little bit of a stir. Take a sip of your Baileys and coffee. Perfect way to start the day. Let's grab a spoonful of that congee. Um, I think I did it wrong. So it tastes a lot like plain congee with random crap in it. You know, they did their best. But it's getting me excited, because the closer we get to Asia, the closer the flavors on my table are getting to Asia. And next, we're gonna be in Taipei. We're gonna be landing there and hopefully going to the lounge there, because there's just no way the lounge in Taipei could be worse than the one in Chicago. All right, we have narrowly made it to the lounge. We've got about 20, 25 minutes here. And then we gotta get out. So far, this is much better than the FEMA camp of a lounge that they had in Chicago. Am I hungry? No. It's five in the morning. I've eaten like six meals already. I'm good. Ooh, hot dogs. Maybe I'm not good. This is fantastic. I feel like I'm in a 7-Eleven back in the USA. Let's keep going. Sandwiches. Right here, they have a savory polenta ball. Not interested. This is what I'm after. If you ever see little bamboo baskets like this, you know you gotta stop. We've got some f*** you shumai. Shumai, you better watch your mouth. All right, let's get some f*** you shumai. Oh, these look beautiful. Right here, we have sweet potato steamed bun. Taiwanese meatballs. And then here, we have braised pork. This looks delicious. This is similar to what we had on the airplane. A big vat full of steaming hot congee. And then right here, these are all the congee toppings that you could put on there. Am I gonna get that again? No. For me, it's all about the dim sum and hot dogs. Let's go eat. All right, folks. Our final lounge before we get to our final destination in Saigon. Right here, we have shumai. It looks daring. It looks delicious. What's that yellow stuff? Cheers. Pretty good overall. Nice wrapper. It's nice and squishy on the inside. Not a lot of texture. Oh, people are looking at me. I forgot. You're not supposed to review food loudly in a lounge. Right here, beautiful pork belly that's been braised for hours in a soy-based sauce. I mean, why isn't this a normal thing in the USA? Fatty, tender, savory. Just has that deep soy saucy taste to it. I love it. And then here, this might be new to a lot of you guys. This is called a hot dog. I gotta tell you something. When I got my hot dog bun, I started opening it from the side. And one of the staff here came up to me like, wait, it opens from the center. I was like, oh my God, you saved the day. But then I looked down and I saw, oh no, they only have ketchup, mustard, and relish. And then I remembered that in the camp lounge, I stole mayo. And it's right here. So let's do a little bit of this. Oh yeah. That's a good wiener. These are some of the softest buns I've ever touched. Where I didn't have a cord case, I followed after. You know what I mean? It's a hot dog, but it's more than a hot dog. Has a nice snappy skin. That mayonnaise that's been sitting in my pocket for 16 hours. Warm, perfect. So that is the lounge food at this lounge. At least out of 10, I'd give a strong 6. From here, we're getting on to our final flight and headed to Saigon. And that is where I'll see you next. Ladies and gentlemen, the further we get into Asia, the more amazing the food is becoming. For our final meal, I'm presented with three options. Chinese, Western, and something even more interesting. The Royal Morel Special. This is comprised of a braised beef noodle soup accompanied by traditional delicacies. Needless to say, I went for the royal treatment. Wow, that's just a big piece of beef. And that's also beef. But dude, we're eating airplane food. That looks awesome. The lady even asked me if the chopsticks are okay. Do I need a fork? I don't need a fork. Go for it. That's really good. It's soft, gelatinous, wonderful. Oh my gosh. Let's pull up some of these noodles. A delicious, oily, savory, raw. I can't believe I'm eating food on an airplane right now. And that, my friends, is what? 32 hours of travel from Puerto Rico, through Chicago, through Taipei, and all the way to Ho Chi Minh City looks like. It was a grueling journey. But somehow, sitting in an astronomically priced business class seat made it slightly more bearable. Otherwise, that is it for this one. Thank you so much for watching. I'll see you next time. Peace. If you love Indian food, then you're going to love our new channel. Best Ever Food Indian. Subscribe now for weekly videos showcasing the most unique street food from around the country.