6 lies narcissistic parents tell their children

Hi everyone, this is Athena from Courage Coaching. Thank you so much for stopping by today. If you are new to my channel then please click on the subscribe button in order to receive notifications for any new videos that I upload. My channel focuses primarily on healing from narcissistic abuse and I offer one-to-one coaching to those of you who need it. In today's video I wanted to talk about parental narcissistic abuse and I would like to talk about the six lies a narcissistic parent tells their child. Now what lies do narcissistic parents tell their children? Unfortunately narcissistic parents are highly toxic individuals that were never ready to be parents and that should never have had children. Unfortunately this is a huge problem otherwise there wouldn't be channels like this on YouTube and there wouldn't be so many of us that have had such difficulty with these types of parents. Now what sort of lies does a narcissistic parent tell their child? Well when I mean lie I mean things that they have taught their children about themselves that are not true. The first one is that our worth is dependent on conditional circumstances. Basically love is only earned if we do something for our parent. Children of narcissistic parents were taught that they were objects and they were only there to serve the narcissistic parent's selfish needs. Now the second lie that this type of parent tells their child is that they need to be perfect and successful but they are not allowed to be rewarded for it or to feel good enough. So narcissistic parents teach their children that nothing they ever do is good enough. That the successes that this child has are only worth celebrating when the narcissistic parent can show off in some way and claim credit for this success. Otherwise the narcissistic parent will sabotage the child's success and this will be because they envy their child's success. Unfortunately the child must never outshine the parent. The third lie this type of parent tells their child is that their feelings don't matter. A child in such an abusive home is not allowed to have feelings of their own. The parent's feelings always come first and whenever the child is upset or is angry the narcissistic parent severely punishes the child to make sure that the child is exactly as the parent wants it to be, complying to their needs, to their wants, to their moods. The child is not allowed to be its own person. The fourth lie this type of parent tells their child is that they are not smart enough or capable enough to do things in their life. A narcissistic parent will make sure that the child knows that they aren't smart enough or capable enough and the parent will always make sure that the child understands that they are the ones that are more capable, that they are the ones that are smarter and no matter what the child does or wants to do it is always the parent's guidance that is important. The child has to listen to this and if the parent says that the child can't do something then that is what goes and nothing else. Now the fifth lie goes together with the fourth lie. If the parent teaches the child that they're not smart enough and capable enough then they're most definitely not able to make wise or good decisions. So every time the child tries to make a decision the narcissistic parent will tell them that this decision is wrong or that there is a better decision that the child can make that is what the narcissist says and believes to be the right one. The last lie that I wanted to talk about is that the narcissistic parent tells us that we mustn't take risks. A narc parent doesn't want their child outshining them or they don't want their children to fail in any way because this then reflects badly on them. If the child actually succeeds the narcissistic parent will downplay their accomplishments or like I mentioned previously they will take credit for the child's accomplishments and they will say that it is because of them that the child has done well, that if the parent hadn't pushed the child as hard as they did the child will never have succeeded. These were the six lies that a narcissistic parent tells their child. Despite these lies that are very damaging for the child, narcissistic parents habitually lie all the time. They gaslight which means they're lying. In order to manipulate and get what they want they will continuously lie. They will spread rumors to others. They lie all the time. Narcissists unfortunately, especially those that are on the high end of the spectrum, are not to be trusted. Even if it's your parent, if they have NPD then they will lie in order to meet their needs. They will lie to serve a purpose. They never want to look bad so if it means that by lying they will cover up the truth then they will always do that. So what is your experience with this? Does your narcissistic parent lie a lot? Have you experienced the six lies that I mentioned? Has your parent made you feel like you aren't worthy? That you're not good enough? That you're not smart enough? If you can relate to any of these then please feel free to leave a comment below the video and share your experience. Thank you so much for watching and for listening today and I will see you very very soon. Take care.