Signs of someone with quiet BPD

[Music] hi everyone this is Athena from Courage coaching thank you so much for stopping by today if you are new to my channel then please click on the Subscribe button in order to get notifications for any new videos that I upload and if you enjoy my content then please give it a thumbs up now in today's video I wanted to talk about something known as quiet borderline person it Disorder so quiet BPD now although quiet BPD is not an official mental health condition it does describe individuals with a BBD diagnosis but who don't meet the typical profile for the condition quiet BPD is also known as high functioning BPD now before I dive into quiet BPD let's look at the DSM criteria that diagnose somebody with borderline personality disorder in order to have a diagnosis for borderline personality disorder you have to have at least five of the following criteria the first one is that these individuals engage in frantic efforts to prevent actual or perceived abandonment the second one they have a history of unstable relationships that involve idealizing and then devaluing a person which is also known as splitting or black and white thinking the third one is that they have a very unstable Identity or image of themselves the fourth one is that they have problems with impulsive or risky Behavior the fifth one is that there are frequent incidents of self harm or suicidal ideation the sixth one is that they have rapid or frequent mood swings and they experience intense emotions the seventh one is that they have a chronic feeling of emptiness the eighth one is that they have feelings of intense or uncontrollable anger and lastly the ninth criteria is that they experience a lot of dissociation which is basically a disconnection from the self and having an almost out ofbody experience in some cases they very very much struggle to identify what they are feeling because of the dissociation that they experience now in order to meet the borderline personality to sort of diagnosis you need to have at least five of these nine criteria now when we are talking about somebody who has quiet BPD we need to be um aware that it's harder to identify somebody that has this as the signs of this personality type are not as obvious as normal BPD is in itself for example a person with typical borderline personality disorder may show outward signs of Rage however a person with quiet BPD may turn that rage inwards and they may engage in self-destructive behaviors that hurt only themselves so for instance another example could be that a person with BPD might have a Tantrums or cry fits but somebody with Qui quiet BPD will become really moody um and very withdrawn so the most important thing to be aware of with quiet BPD is that most of the traits that you notice in somebody who has um standard BPD they actually turn these more towards themselves so it's more inwards it's more harmful for themselves rather than to others so let's talk through some of the characteristics of somebody with quiet boardline personality disorder the first one is that they have unhealthy boundaries they can become obsessed with a specific person and they may want to spend as much time as possible with that person they can be very mean to others but in a quiet way so for instance giving the silent treatment or being passive aggressive they tend to self-isolate or avoid others as a form of self- protection because they may be feeling really scared or very overwhelmed they tend to self harm a lot and this is you know hidden from others because they don't want others to worry about them they can suffer from really intense feelings of hopelessness and helplessness so again they keep this um to themselves so others don't worry they may experience inward um directed hostility or anger or aggression so they may for instance have a really harsh inner critic and also they will self harm which is a form of you know aggression towards the elves and they have a very poor self-image or a very rapidly changing self-image they have a pattern of idealizing and devaluing others and then discarding them so this is very similar to normal BPD they have an intense fear of rejection they are very prone to having mood swings and these mood swings can last from hours up until days they can take very small things very personally so they may assume someone's ignoring them when actually they're not they're just really busy um they uh are not able to read others very well so they may think that other people are angry with them when actually they're not they have very uh distorted thinking or obsessive thinking they have a fear of being alone or they may feel like they need to push people away they can um move from one extreme to the other or both at times so one minute they may be fine in somebody's company but in other moments they really don't want to be with anybody and they would rather be alone they tend to self- sabotage a lot um they experience a lot of feelings of being triggered that leads to you know really uncomfortable internalized emotion such as shame or guilt um they do have moments where they feel numb or really empty inside they are very prone to people pleasing and this obviously causes a lot of problems for them in the long term lastly they do struggle with accepting the emotions that they may have at times so they then will try to suppress the emotions they are having or avoid them and they are generally in a constant state of hypervigilance now if you have had experience with someone like this or if you are somebody who you think may have quiet BPD I hope this video has helped I hope that you have identified you know some of these in yourself or in somebody else and this gives you a bit more clarity and it helps you sort of figure out you know what you're dealing with and understanding things better and if you would like to share your experience um about you know being in a relationship with somebody that has this then please feel free to do so in the comments below the video that is it for today thank you so much for listening and for watching please give the video a thumbs up if you can and consider subscribing to the channel and I will see you very soon soon in my next video take care everyone bye-bye [Music]