Controversial: Meditation Won't Make You Happy

Controversial take. Meditation won't make you happy. You can't just look for single solutions to complex problems. You can't just put a little band-aid on a big cut. And in the modern world, if you go deeper into the roots of why we're actually happy or unhappy, why depression is on the rise, anxiety, loneliness. One of my 67 steps was listen to the whisper of 10,000 generations. Your ancestors have the answers. Not just your ancestors from the 1800s, but your ancestors from 15,000 years ago. And the reason they have the answers is because our actual DNA, the encoding, evolved and adapted over these long millennia, tens of thousands of generations. And so when you come in, we're basically the same person. You're basically the same person as your great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother and grandfather. And so, you know, if you, for example, if you look at Homo sapiens, 95% of our existence, by the way, I'm on my farm here in the mountains. So beautiful here. I'll talk about why that's so important if you can get out of the cities for happiness. But, you know, 95% of Homo sapien existence on this planet, we were in small tribes, hunter-gatherers, you could call it. And Robin Dunbar, the sociologist, anthropologist, called it Dunbar's number. We lived with less than 150 people in our social group. We were close. Some were family. Some were close friends. They went to war with us. They hunted with us. You know, they acquired resources together. You went to bed probably two to four hours after the sun went down. You woke up, depending, you know, the new science out there. There's a few hunter-gatherer tribes left that you can look to. The Ache in Brazil, you know, the Hadza. There's all these. There's multiple groups still there. And then we have the anthropological record of groups like, you know, the Sioux Indians and so on and so forth. So there was a pattern to life. And the patterns are what make you happy. So a single solution like meditation doesn't break up a horrible habit or pattern. And the modern nuclear family, you know, two kids, two parents, isolated, nine-to-five job, you know, school system where all the ages are stuck together versus one room classroom, you know, far distances between kin, family, and, you know, friends. All these things are like a gaping wound. And people look for simple solutions. Again, I have nothing against meditation, but those simple solutions, you can't put a little teeny, you know, I have this scar here on my wrist when artery got cut in my wrist. You know, blood was shooting out. I was 12 years old, 13. Shot out, you know, six inches in the air. You couldn't stick a little Flintstone Band-Aid on that thing. And that's what people are trying to do. The patterns of the modern world are aggressively militating against your happiness. And so, you know, what are the practical solutions to becoming happy? Well, I mean, Dr. David Buss, one of my mentors, formerly Harvard professor, and now he's University of Austin, you know, he always tells me, I've been fortunate enough to learn from him personally over the last eight, nine years. And one of the things that he always tells me is like, look, Ty, we move too little. We all know that. People are getting overweight. We don't walk enough. The average hunter gatherer walked, males walked about eight miles. So just call it 16,000 steps. Women walked six miles gathering. That's 12,000-ish steps. Average Americans walk in two to 4,000, depending on the city you live in. We've built cities that necessitate driving versus walking. Only a few cities in the US. Part of why I like living in Europe part time is I don't need it. You just walk everywhere. I'm getting in 18,000 steps. You know, if you live in Dallas or something like that, or even LA, where I'm from originally, you're not getting anywhere on foot. I mean, not realistically. So we've built our cities incorrectly. That militates against our happiness. Meditation alone can't counteract that huge problem. You know, there's a book by this guy Lieberman, Daniel Lieberman. He's a Harvard paleoanthropologist who studies kind of the skeletal systems. He studies the, you know, the skeletal system of primates. So you've got, you know, chimpanzees and your various monkeys and homo sapiens. Us humans have, I forget which one it is exactly, but the story of the human body is a great book on the way our hips are turned. I think it's turned out we can walk a lot. And you see that the way we can jump and run and do endurance running, you can see we're kind of built like springs with our Achilles tendon. So the answers, that's what I mean, the answers to your physical and emotional happiness and well being, they're all in your ancestors, your ancestors left you a body. You inherited this basically the same body as your great great great great great grandmother 5000 generations ago. And so as you look to that, you find a more powerful way to find peace and happiness and well being, whatever that might be. So can you really, I read an interesting study years ago, it basically says happiness increases when you see multiple age groups every day. So meaning you see some little kids, you see people your age and you see great great grandparents. Well, we live in, as I said, an isolated world where people often don't see, think of high school, you know, what's the problem with high school besides bullying and all this and shootings, you stick a whole bunch of 16 year olds in a room with one teacher and two, you know, one teacher and 40 people the same age, that's the blind leading the blind, you need a you need something that kind of mitigates against all the weird things 16 year olds are going to do if they're isolated with their only age, only their age group. So once again, look to your ancestors, you had a small village and tribe where you had people, yellow kids running around every day, you saw them they did this study that I tried to look for, I'll put the show notes TaiLopez.com slash podcast 32323. I think that's let me check to make sure I'm giving you the right URL. TaiLopez.com slash podcast 32323. Today's date. So anyway, why is this important? Well, because you obviously can't recreate the full Savannah hunter gatherer lifestyle, right? There's a few tribes left the Messiah in Africa, you're not going to be able to fully replicate that. But to the extent you bring back those elements into your life. So here's some practical things that have made me happier. I have my friends and family work for my companies, not all of them pick the best ones that you get along with the best, then I'm because you're going to spend the majority of your time at work in the modern world, right? So if you're recreating the tribe, you know, work with friends and family. It's insane that people say don't work with family. Well, I mean, yeah, you can always point to extremes where families break up and they got what's that crazy TV show succession or something. That's all don't listen to Hollywood, in general, family is better to work with, but not perfect. And you got to pick and choose, you know, you probably have a, you know, semi large family, don't pick the ones that are the most exploitative. But that's something that makes you happy. You know, my, my, my closest best friends. Oh, there's some turkey there. Little flock of turkeys there. By the way, that brings up something. Seeing I remember reading one of the Native Americans, I don't know who it was, Sitting Bull or something said, what is man without the beast? Meaning we're also meant to see other species. And you see that people love their pets. They love their live in Manhattan, and they love their dog and they love their cat. But the beasts, not just one species. One of the reasons, you know, I like having a farm is because I got chickens and cows and horses and all that. And I'm not here all the time. I'm a businessman. I'm traveling. You know, you got to have a ratio. You can't always be out in the countryside. And when I was first starting out, I couldn't afford to own a farm. But you could go out to one, you could Airbnb, you could camp. You know, these are the things that create happiness. You have to recreate this Savannah effect. Savannah is the type of actual landscape that makes humans happy. So open spaces, some hills, trees, water. It's been proven with eye tracking and all this kind of fMRI machines. You're happy depending on your landscape. I lived in Manhattan for a year or two, in one of the nicest apartments in Manhattan. It was beautiful. But all you looked at was a concrete jungle. And I looked back and I was like, I was way happier in my place in LA, where I had that kind of Savannah where he had some trees and you know, so pick well where you live. Pick well who you work with. Pick your social circle. Well, by the way, that for those who want to this is my free podcast. If you want to go deeper on this, I highly recommend you get in my new 67 steps. Okay, I'm a little commercial break in here. Not trying to push this on you. I don't charge much money. But in 2014, I built this 67 steps the old version, which I think is almost the most purchased self development online course in human history. I'm just an insane amount of people went through it. That was back with my hair in my garage. I've got a new version of this. That was 2014. I've got a new version, updated, that's totally transformed new things I've learned. So if you go to title of his calm, slash podcast, 67 steps, just pod CST, the number six, seven steps, it'll take you to the new 67 steps. I'm just launching that totally different course if you've been in the old one, and it has a lot on health, wealth, love and happiness. It has more on very specific things, actionable items. So if this resonates with you, again, meditation isn't the enemy. It's just not the panacea. You know, what's the panacea is a systematic a pattern of living. When you wake up what you do when you wake up how you move, what you do with how you interact with nature, how you interact with family, how you interact with friends. Now, occupation is a huge thing. Then in pretty much every study of adults, it's like what's your three top regrets and regret obviously militates against happiness, right? There's a good book on this called the power of regret by I think it's Daniel Pink. I forget who wrote it. Power of regret. It's it's so some regret, by the way, is good. But in general, if you're living in over regretful life, it's militating against happiness and all the meditation in the world, and all even walking or being on a farm, those simple things, as a pattern begin to boost your happiness. But still, if you have too much regret, it'll kind of override is like regret is like the grand overriding emotion of happiness. Here's the cool thing. Or the interesting thing, the three biggest regrets of the average human in the modern world. And it's really the modern world that makes us unhappy. It makes us live longer, we have sanitation, and we have penicillin and all that. But militate, as Freud called it, civilization is discontent. But the three regrets we have are who we marry, our education, and our career. Those are the three. And there's other ones like, where we live, social, you know, who our friend, our friend circle, not being big enough being lonely. But the big things you have to get right, I like that fourth one, which is where you live. I think it matters. hunter gatherers cared about where they lived. Right? They migrated away from places that sucked, and they moved to places that were better. We're a migratory species. So, you know, you have, but going back to happiness, what's more powerful than meditation? Well, number one, your career, that's the dominant one and your education, a lot of people regret their education, you know, 12 years and learn nothing. You know, that's why I kind of started an online education because I'm like, I felt that way. So I found my own mentors. That's what 67 steps is about. So but anyway, I'll put a link if you're watching the video, I don't know if you're listening, I'll put it in one of the corners or somewhere here. Get in that new 67 steps. It's pretty powerful, I think going to be the best thing I've ever put out. But if you get the big four, I'll call them, you also have a hard time finding happiness. Now you might say, well, I already, you know, married the wrong person, already have the wrong career or my education's passed. Well, career is the most flexible of all of those. You can quit your job and move on. Not a stepdad that said, I'm gonna quit my job. I hate my job. But you know, but I'm doing it for the family. I got this secure income. Well, I ended up ruining everything for everybody. Because his mental health sucked. Because he hated his job. So you can't use the excuse, you got to provide for your family. Now, it doesn't mean you have to quit your job after you watch this video. But you can quit your job and make the leap of faith into something else. Give me a break. This isn't 1740, where, you know, you were locked in for life to whatever your father did, you know. You were not, that's not how the world works. You can find other occupation or start your own business. That's the simplest, you know, the biggest thing. If you watch this video and go, what's the most practical thing? Well, we talked about, you know, getting out walking, not being in big cities all the time. But I think the most actionable and extremely powerful, like walking, let's say on a one to a hundred scale. Let's say you're, what is your happiness? Put a comment below. What is it? Let's say you're a 20 out of a hundred. You're depressed a lot. And some of this is obviously genetic and, and, you know, I'm not saying you can just fix depression. But you can mitigate against it. Some people are naturally a 90 out of a hundred in happiness. And this is what Dr. Buss, the famous scientist, told me. Everybody has a different bar of their natural state of happiness. Some people are, you know, and a lot of this is genetic. So you can look to your ancestors, aka your mom and dad, your recent ancestors, and you can see their, it's called the baseline. So it is true. Some people have a very low baseline, a 20. And some people are naturally very happy. We know them, jolly. They're an 80. But you can move this number around. Now a 20 baseline may never become an 80 baseline. Baselines are hard to move massively. But you can, I mean, going from a 20 to a 40 will feel like a lot. So it's a somewhat subjective thing too. If you've never experienced being an 80, you don't have to be an 80 because you don't even, that's not in your consciousness of what happiness could feel like. My point is, move yourself up that baseline of happiness. And the simplest and very, I shouldn't say simplest, the most actionable and powerful, the simplest is like walking in. You're adjusting your sleep schedule and stuff like that. And not being on scrolling through goofy ---- on social media. If you don't watch social media, watch something substantive. But the most powerful are change your career and change where you live now. And I would say the third one is somehow incorporate life with the best of your family and friends. Whether that be start a business together or go to the gym every day with them. Arnold Schwarzenegger had Franco Colombo. Those dudes worked out every day. And they started some kind of construction company together. Arnold Schwarzenegger was a smart dude. Not perfect. Ain't no perfect people out there. You're looking for a perfect mentor. It can be looking in your grave. So, but the point being is he built that thing right. His career, you know. And you could do mundane things with a friend. I had Zach. We went to the gym, went to the movies. I was seeing him five times a week, you know. And kids, you can obviously do that with kids. But again, point being is those big three or four, you can't really change your educational path. If you're watching this as a teenager, you know, you may need to change schools. If you're still in university, like if you're going to go to university, do like do a four in university or something. Community college in your local area. Yeah, people go, well, that's all I can afford. Well, you'd be surprised what you can do if you put together a plan. So, if you're gonna do university, like maximize it experientially, you know. You're not gonna regret it if you did, instead of doing your community college, you found a community college in Switzerland or something or India. And it's not that expensive. You get to India, it's cheap. You know, go to school there. Yeah, it won't be an American degree, but I don't care. Give me a break. So, anyway, see, so change education is the hardest one, especially if you're older. But if you're young, you could tweak that. Who you're married to, I mean, you know, hunter-gatherers separated. They divorced. I'm not saying it's ideal, but it's not like divorce is a modern thing. And I'm not advocating divorce. What I'm saying, you know, let's say you're dating someone and you see red flags. Let's move on. Give me a break. Just separate. Blah, blah, blah. Stop being tricked by Hollywood. It's not everything is Ryan Gosling. Titanic. You know, you gotta be practical about it. This person ain't gonna work out. You want to be happy, don't get that one wrong. Then career, as I said, slowly but surely. Save some money at your current job. Start a new business or find something more entrepreneurial or exciting that you can do with some kin, either family or close friends. Do it together. Go work at the same company as one of your best friends, you know. And then the other one is, you know, where you live. Move if you live in a horrible place. You can't change the structure of certain locations. A lot of places in the world aren't great on a subjective level, comparative level to other places. Some people are gonna disagree. Well, go live in North Korea then if you don't think it's a... There is absolute, I'm not gonna say there's absolute truth, but there is on that subjective scale, slash objective scale, better places in the world to live. Google it. Part of why I spend a lot of time in Scandinavia. I went to Google. It's like happiest place, best place in the world to live. It pops up on every single survey. So call me crazy or call me just a simple dude who's like, well that's good enough for me. I'm gonna spend more time there. If you have kids, have them be born. Give your kids the gift of being born in a cool place, you know. So again, all you people who love meditation, again, this isn't an attack on meditation. This is real talk. You get those four areas wrong, all the meditation in the world are gonna do jack ----. Nothing. Zippo. Good luck. You got a huge wound, you're putting a little band-aid on it. I like little band-aids when I have little cuts. Meditation can optimize things and sure, there's people who have amazing results, but not as much as people who get those four, the big four. Education, career, who you marry, slash social life, and where you live. Optimize those four. That's the best thing you can do. And yes, you can still meditate. I try to meditate a few minutes every day. I use Calm app or I'll use a couple different. I've used Mindvalley sometimes. Mission. Met him years ago. So, you know, people think of me as the Lamborghini guy. They don't know the farm side of me, you know. Where you live, be in a place. I did another video on this of happiness hypothesis with Jonathan Haidt. How living in big cities all the time spikes your cortisol in a horrible way. And that's hard to lose weight. It's hard to sleep right. Got fight-or-flight on all the time. You burn out your adrenal glands. So, at the end of the day, there's practical things you can do first. It's kind of an echelon. There's an order of things you have to do if you're unhappy to become happy again. And meditation is not number one on that list. It might be number, you know, 18. And again, somebody's gonna disagree with me. That's fine. People gonna disagree. I don't have all the answers. Neither do they. So, you know, find an amalgamation of different ideas and you merge them together. And hopefully you find a good life pattern. So, fix your patterns. Especially around those big four. And if you want to go through a 67 day challenge about health, wealth, love, happiness. That's pretty powerful. Go through my new 67 steps. So, I'll put a link or go to Tyleopas.com slash podcast 67 steps. Tyleopas.com slash podcast 67 steps. It'll redirect you because I'm just coming out. It's not out yet. The new 67 steps. So, hopefully by the time you hear this, I publish this video, you'll be able to access it. It's not expensive. I didn't charge. I didn't set the price very high. I want a million people to go through this. So, now, leave a comment. If you think meditation is way more powerful than I made it out to be, state your case. I'm always happy to change my mind. Change my mind. Leave a comment. Subscribe. I'm starting to record a lot more content. Hopefully, people have been telling me. I just did this experiment. I've been so busy. They're like, can you record more? And I did. And people seem to find some value in my ranting. So, maybe that's you. Subscribe. Producing content. Try it for 67 days. My paid program or if you can't afford it, you can go through some of this free stuff. It's not as systematic or as in-depth just because they're different systems. But, yeah.