Spoiling Clair For Valentine's

Your Valentine's gift is here. Why do bagels get so much hotter than toast? God, what a time to be alive, eh? Now we're gonna need a shower. Are you in the mood? Love is in the air. It's Valentine's Day! The most pointless day of the year. I don't know, mate. I haven't done anything. I don't know! What? Nothing. What? Welcome to the vlog. There's my romantic Valentine's meal. You're gonna get your romantic Valentine's meal later. Let me guess, curry. Yeah, we're getting a curry. I am so hungry. It is... what is the time? Twenty past two. I woke up hungry today. This isn't gonna help, is it? I know, I've just been watching that boy, Jamie Oliver. I love Jamie Oliver. So do I. Wouldn't it be amazing if, like, Jamie Oliver just said... Do you wanna come round for dinner? I'll cook you up something. Wouldn't that be amazing, Jamie? I know you're watching. Yeah, I would think it was amazing, but I'd be mortified in case you were like, mm, I don't like them. Oh, if you put some vegetables in this thing. Yeah, exactly. If he wants to cook up some Beans and Smiley Faces, they'd be the best Beans and Smiley Faces I'd ever have. Yeah, in fact, I challenge him. I challenge Jamie Oliver. I've got the diet of a four-year-old, so Jamie Oliver can, you know, make me eat an aubergine or something. Oh, I don't like aubergines. I know, well, that's the challenge. That's the challenge, Jamie. Feed me your aubergine. Well, I basically just did what you told me to do last year when I bought you some flowers, and you said you'd just wasted 45 quid on some flowers that are s*** and dying. It's because every time we get flowers, you can never trust to get them the way they look. Yeah, and they're expensive. Yeah, and they're really expensive. Why would I tell you, don't do that again? Yeah, you said, don't do that again. It's a waste of money. Get me something, you know. I just said, we'll get a curry instead. That's exactly what you said. Yeah. And I'm getting you a curry tonight. I've also got a little package arriving at some point. Not that little package, you'll get that later. I like that you've dressed up for me. I've run out of Joggy Bombs. I need to wash my Joggy Bombs. I'm really f***ing happy Valentine's Day. Sorry. You're not sorry. I just wanted to fart, I've got nothing to say. Fed up. Yeah. What are you looking forward to doing when things go and get normal? I'll tell you what I'm looking forward to doing. You want to sit here? My arm's getting sore. I'm looking forward to having a little walk around Home Sense. Going over to friend's house. Yeah. Fed up. Yeah. I think everybody's fed up now, ain't they? Chipotle Chicken Tacos? What, sounds like a bit of me. Hey Claire, your Valentine's gift is here. Is it? I think you're going to love it. Is it heart? Have I got another dog? No, Christ no. Do you want me to come in? Yeah, come in. I hope it's not too extravagant. I'm sure it won't be. Come on Paisley, what is this? I want to get your reaction. This is just for me, yeah? Yeah, just for you. Happy Valentine's Day baby. Am I going to open it and it's like... Diamonds. Yeah. No. Oh no, it's just beer. There you go. It's cold as well. Perfect. I didn't get you anything. We said we weren't doing it. Yeah, but I'm sure I'm going to have a couple of them as well. True. Alright, you wait right there. Here you go. Okay, I may have forgot. This card may not be shop-bought. It may seem like I don't care. But I do! Love from Claire. Oh, so you don't... Hold on, you don't say forgot and bought. You say... Bought. You say... Read it again. It doesn't rhyme when you read it. No, it doesn't rhyme. Okay, I may have forgot. This card may not be shop-bought. It rhymes when I say it. Aw, it doesn't even work. Forgot. This card may not be shop-bought. Perfect. Alright. Oh, a couple of hours until Carrie opens. Morning. Good morning. It's the day after Valentine's Day and I'm pretty tired. Why, did you stay up late? No, I didn't. Once I went to bed. What time did I fall asleep last night? I don't know. Earlier than me. I've got a coffee coming for you. Oh, yeah? I've got a little Starbucks coffee coming for you. Wow, the treats just keep coming for you, Jimmy. Yeah, listen, I'm a native treat lady. I'm going to have a coffee as well because I don't know what it is. When it gets to about 7 o'clock every night, I just want to go to sleep. I don't know what that is. I think there might be something wrong with me. Oh, God. Well, you better get to the doctors quick. I think there might be something wrong with me. But when I get to 7, it's like I can't... I can't keep my eyes open. I think I've been watching her vlogs too much. What do you mean, boring? Yeah. Excuse you. Big day today. Huge day today. Day after Valentine's Day. Now... She smells a bit. It usually stinks. The dog stinks. Come on, then. The dog stinks, doesn't it? You do smell a bit. You do stink. You stroke her. Your hand smells. Yeah. Usually, obviously, we get a lady who comes and washes her. But because of Covid, she's not doing it. You know. She's a jumpy one. She's a puppy. Well, she's four, but she's just never grew at the puppy stage. She's just a bouncy, excitable dog. So, no matter what you try and do with her, it's a task. It's super exciting. So, we've only put her in the bath once before. Twice. I know we've washed her out in the garden a few times with the clothes, like during the summer and stuff. Yeah, I've done that a couple of times. But obviously, it's too cold for that. So, we're going to have to get her in the bath. But you've got the biggest eye bogey I've ever seen. Oh, she does as well. Paisley, my toes, man! Right, let me get the breakfast to the kiddies. I'm dreading this. Huh? I'm dreading this. Yeah, it's not going to be easy. Why do bagels get so much hotter than toast? I don't know. Let us know in the comments. Why do bagels get much hotter than toast? They do, though. I'm sure there's a scientific reason for that. They do. You can't even touch them once they're at the toaster. Those of you that are interested, the sign is still there. We're not scum. We're scummy. Now, I've been thinking. Uh-oh. And it'd be nice to know what you guys think in the comments. You know, we're proper YouTubers now. Are we? Well, I'm trying to be. Okay. A little, you know, scummy t-shirt. Let us know in the comments if that's the sort of thing you'd spend actual money on. Remember, it'd be for actual money. Depends how much. It won't be expensive. But maybe we'll make like 50 of them or something. Make a scummy t-shirt. Make a little scummy t-shirt. Let me know in the comments if you'd be interested in that sort of thing. If you're not, that's fine. We won't bother. It might be too early in our YouTube career for that sort of palaver. I'm not sure how you're supposed to do this. You're just supposed to put your straw in and drink it and mix it in. You're not supposed to do that. Okay. Nearly done. That's really annoying. That might be the most irritating thing you've done today. Why is it irritating? Just someone enjoying something. Why's that irritating? You okay? Yeah. Gross. Absolutely gross. I just live in a big, gross house with bones. As chocolatey as they usually are. What a time to be alive, eh? I mean, we'll need to put music or something over this so people don't have to listen to you chewing. It's half term. Absolutely not. Is that your belly? Yeah. I'm taking a week off of streaming. You take a big bite before you talk about what you're going to say. I'm basically spending the whole week just playing Roblox with the kids. The weather's rubbish. Obviously nothing's open. What are we doing? What are we doing this half term? Alright, here you go. I've pretty much accepted that I'm going to get absolutely soaked. Oh yeah. What are you using to shower her? Bunker. Alright. She's heavy. Right. Come here. Alright. Good girl. You going to sit down? Yes. Is that good? There you go. What are you saying? I'm yours, good girl. She's been much better than I thought she would. Don't eat it. It's the getting out. Oh yeah, that's what I meant to do. I saw people putting like a big massive bit of peanut butter on the bath. And she just stands and licks it. That's a good idea. Yeah, I meant to do that. I brought her biscuits up but she seems alright. There you go. There she is. Good girl. You want to grab a towel? You got her. She's alright. She's a good girl. I know. Isn't she? You got a towel? Alright, here you go. There you go. I know, do you want to play? Do you want to play? You wet? Yeah. Oh man. Stop biting. No, we're going to need a shower. Yeah, well that's what, yeah. That's not biting. Jesus. Can we get the rest of your biscuit? This whole, oh my god. This whole room is covered in hair. I know. You need to really stop trying. Come here, Paisley. Come here. That was a workout. Okay. You clean? Should we get you some water? How do we not got a hairdryer? I do have one somewhere. I never use a hairdryer. Come on, can I have a drink? Good girl. Come here. Oh yeah, there's that belly. There's that belly. Stop trying to eat it. What's happened to her? I can't find a hairdryer. But if we don't dry her, isn't she just going to stink again? She can't smell as bad as she did. No, true. Oh no, we need to dry you so you get all fluffy. Oh, I tell you what I need to do now. Yeah. Paisley, was you a good girl? Was you a good girl? I need to, excuse me. Hi. I need to take these off. Can you put them in the washing machine now? What are you doing? No, it was very exciting, you had a bath. Can you get off the dirty couch though? Because this is all your old smelly dirt. No, you leave that alone. Oh man. That wasn't easy, was it? To be fair, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. No, she was alright. Right, let me get these in the wash. Right, I'm going to try and find that hairdryer one last time. Found it. Where was it? Oh, it was in some random drawer. Where it shouldn't be. Right. Alright guys, there we go. We were just about to go to bed, obviously. But we remembered that we never really do an outro on our vlogs ever. So we thought we'd just do a quick one now. Eventful day, wasn't it? No. So yeah, thank you very much for watching. Make sure you give us a little thumbs up and subscribe, turn the notifications on. All that stuff that you should be doing. If you haven't done it, why haven't you done it yet? Do it already! We'll see you in the next vlog. We were going to talk about things like... What we're going to do in the next vlog. But we did have a conversation about that. But we don't know. And we've got none so far. I'm hoping that I might do a bit more barbecuing. There's meant to be a day next week where it's supposed to be dry at the weekend. So I might do some barbecuing. So hopefully there'll be another vlog next week. Maybe not. Maybe not, we'll see. But take care of yourselves. And each other. Who's that? Gerry Springer. Is that what that is? That literally just rolled off my tongue without even thinking about it. Gerry Springer. Gerry, Gerry. Yeah, we've given away our age there. Bye guys. Yeah. Have we? When was that? I don't know, you must have stopped making that show in 2001. Hold on, in 2001 I was only... 11? Yeah, right. Don't pretend that wrong. How old was I? 13? I was hardly a million miles away. We were 11. Yeah, but, you know. Come on, who are you kidding? Who are you trying to kid? I was four. You were born in 1988. Yeah. So in 2000 you were 12, in 2001 you were 13. Wait, so that's not old. In 2001, 20 years ago. Anyway. Take care of yourselves. And each other. Wait, we should have a little thing to say. A little sign off. Yeah, because you say adio so uncompleted it, mate. Hey. What's the thing that... Is it Jim Carrey? He says it in... Good morning. And if I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and good night. No, we can't say that. That's just the Truman Show. Alright. Alright then, well, good night. If I don't see you before then, good morning, good afternoon. What do you mean before then? After then. That doesn't make any sense. Give us a... In the comments, give us a sign off. Yeah, we need to look cool. It's gotta be good. Yeah, it's gotta look cool. It's gotta be something like... Don't waste my time with ---- ones. Okay, give us something good. We want gold. But until then... Bye.