Yankees Don't Score a Run Against the Rays | ALDS Game 1 Highlights

Hold on! Don't start yet! Don't start yet! Don't start yet, me! Don't start yet! Don't start! Hello! Welcome! Wait! I've got to calm myself down. I've got to calm myself down. Here we go. You don't need to calm yourself down. We're going to watch the New York Yankees head down to Bronx South to take on the Tampa Bay Rays. We have Joe's heartbeat on the live stream. I don't even see it. It's in the top right corner there. You're not even nervous or you don't care at all. Let me feel mine. 98. If I tickle you, do you think it'll go up? I'm not ticklish. You're not ticklish. Have you ever had two, five, six white guys tickle you? Let me try this. I've had very small children try. We do have a MASH cam. And it's a commercial, so we could flash to it to show them just real quick. There's MASH. I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick. Should I drink this thing now? I don't think it's time. What do you mean I don't have time? I've got time. You've got to go quick. What? Yeah. Oh, go quick. Can a poop happen? You tell us, pal. Just keep that mic on. Oh, there he goes. Moving. Okay, heart rate's up to 96. 98, 100. 100. We've got two fellas showering together and brushing their teeth in MASH if we want to get the MASH cam going. Wait, is that... What's that in his mouth? I think he's getting water straight in there. Yeah. That's crazy. Is he drinking the water while showering? I don't know what's going on. Somebody came into the chat and is watching us here spending their time saying, Y'all are dorks. In the animal kingdom, is dork another word for... The king. An animal's wiener. What? No, I've never heard that a day in my life. No? Zach, you're my animal guy. Okay. Never heard that. Oh, he's freezing Caminero. He's freezing him. Wow. He's freezing him. Okay, fine with that. He froze himself. By the way, a dork is a whale's cock. Way to go, Jake. Thank you. This guy knows whale dick. Thank you. This guy knows whale dick. Great job. Make the graphic. I'll answer what I perceive to be the best pressing question of the bunch during this commercial break. Why does Jake look so squeezable like a little gummy bear? Because he eats them. Oh. He does want gummies. It seemed like he was making a push for gummies. I thought about a George Homer today. You did? I did. And what happened? Georgie Porgie putting in pie. Um. Yes! That's a great swing. Hard hit! Oh. It was there. Thank God. That was. Is that guy under the stadium doll? Imagine if you met a unicorn and it was so exciting and then he turned around and then he put his horn in you. Why would I turn around? Joe's guess is ass. Knock it down. What was your ask? A walk? Did somebody get on base? One person on base? I'm not keeping book on the stream. Someone at home is going to have to do that for us. I'm keeping book on the game. Wow. I can't mark down your asks. You can mark down everything. All right. I'll do it. All right. Come on, Trent. Battle. Oh. That's a bad take. That's just a bad take. What's he looking at? What is he looking at? What are you shaking your head at? I don't know. That was a bad take. Trent. Yeah, that got so much. How are you not battling? That was. What are you looking at? That's a bad take. That's a turbo booster of a final pitch. You got to at least. They walked into the dugout just butts up. Nice. Max involved. Why are you going back to second? Here we go. All right. Good. Here we go. Clean. You got your ask. I got my ask. That's fine. I got to go pee. Your guys pissed enough. So I'll try to help us out. Maybe see if the gummies. Oh, yep. I'll go get some gummies. I don't know. All right. Stay. Hold it. Hold the line. This might be something. Come on now. Come on. Let's use this. Come on, Matt. The 1-2. Good take. Took it. Wait. You can't move. Took it. We can't. We can't move. How are you doing? You holding up OK? I'm OK. We can't move. Base runner for Rice would be great, right? Moving inside. Whoa. I thought it was a good at bat. Ended up being a good at bat, Jim. It wasn't a bad at bat. We've seen one, right? Oh, boy. That was absolutely shat on, dude. Holy ----. He was all over that. You can't elevate it. Then it's batting practice. Well, he had a pretty good adjusted swing on that. I mean, a changeup there is like a fool you pitch to swing over. But it was up. But still. I mean, that's the Yankees are swinging those. He was like way on time. Oh, my God. They're the same exact pitch. These are the two changeups that got extra base hits. Ooh. Yanks, don't give him a one, two, three shutdown inning, please. Get off the hand cam. Ooh. That's a good one, Jim. You see that? You like that? That was good. I think Blackburn pissed him off. It's still a one run game. I know it's a lot of doom and gloom right now. But it's a one run game. We hit a two run homer. And this has been a good cold start. Tie me up and do whatever you want to me. Wow. Cyrus said he only gifted it for wig off. If there was a wig, I'd take it off. You guys just don't get it. What do you want me to do? Get a haircut? Right now? Are we tying up Jake? Yeah. Give us that cane. It just creeps us out because we know how much you like being tied up. Yeah. You guys can be a little harder. This is more just pushing you. Yeah, like you guys. OK, here we go. Oh, wow. I mean, now there's literally, like, things for kids. Oh, boy. Wow. Too bad at bats from Trent. Bees with frowny faces. Bees in the chat. I got bees in the chat. Those are awful at bats. Like, awful at bats. He took strike one. He barely swung at strike two. Or didn't. And then he took strike three. Yeah, I feel like Mash hasn't been doing its part. Honestly, if Cole gets him out, it's the Yankees' first momentum for a little bit. Yeah, it's a mini-mo. It's a mini-mo. Staying in. Cody. Oh, a mini-mo. A mini-mo. One pitch went out. That's a mini-mo. That's a good mini-mo. Mini-mo. Go get him, Garrett. Yeah! That's big. That's a little mo. That's mo. Mo. Mini-mo. Mo. Mini-mo. Mo. It's a mini-mo. Let's go. OK. Oh, Garrett let out a big woo. Yeah. How big? Is he done? Seven out of 10. OK. I'm going to get the biggins. I'm going to. Oh. Can I pee? Yeah. You get the big gummy. You got the big dick. Let's do this. OK. Like 11 really stressful. Mini-mo. Mo. It's a mini-mo. Heart rate going up. Heart rate's going. Give me a couple jumping jacks. Oh, and finally the show begins. Hey. Ha. Kind of hurt. I feel like Dick Van Dyke. Yeah. If you've got an issue, here's a tissue. Should we just finish the bag? Yeah. No. Yep. Here's the situation. We only have one round of biggins left. Right. Then they're all little. So let's do a big and little. But that's a lot of ammo. Yeah. OK, Ben. Right at him. Dude, every ball we've hit hard has been right at somebody. We kind of look iconic right now, though. Oh. Look at this. Talk to me. Come on, belly. If it gets to 3-2, I'll cockle him. Strike three. Perfect pitch. Oh, my God. Dude, they're doing nothing against him. I don't think there's anything we can do. That kind of feels like it. Strike him out. Dude, guys. It's in everything. Yeah, it's in everything. OK, guys. That is a little bit of the devil magic we needed, to be honest. We reset. Oh, wow. You look like a guy I've seen. All right. Oh, boy. The game's afoot. Heart rate's a little high. Squeeze him hard. Come on. Is that the highest of the day? 117? Boom o'clock. Oh, that was the one I was arguing against. Right in the middle. Can't do ----. All right, guys. I've listened to the chat. All right. I've decided to listen to the chat. Smart. I needed. I'm going to go ahead. We needed a change. I took the wig off. We needed a change. No wigs for the rest of the game. It wasn't for him. Oh, yeah. They saw what you saw, Joseph. Yeah, I'm telling you. I think he kicked it. I thought I hit his back. Show the replay, dum-dums. No, no, no, no, no, no. My intonation's wrong. That guy was going crazy. You're watching the stream. You can't be peeing on your balls, guys. It's crazy. Benjamin Joseph Franklin. I know. I might try something else. I might try to spoil the pitch. Translating. Holy ----. I'm going to go blindfold on this one. Yes. Wow. I'm going to pee. I'm not watching. We'll do one of those videos. Hostage. We'll broadcast it. We'll tell you what's happening. I think Felipe sitting on a chair is good. I think that's good. Hey, what are you guys watching? Remember, we said no. You get no hint. Can we get the tight shot? Welcome, guys, to the stream. Everybody, everywhere, every how. Well, see. ****! Yes! **** yes! Yes! Go, go, go! Score! Score? What? I don't think that's smart. You guys are embarrassing as ******* what? That's impossibly bad. I mean, who thought? Dude. I mean, he took off from second, and it was instantly like, what are we doing? ****! Wow, you see Rojas' face? He just ended the no-hitter. Chapstick the Raze? I agree. Write Chapstick in the chat if you guys like that. That's a streamer, people. That's a guy who streamed before the game. Okay. Guys, the wig does some pitching. Okay. Hey, we pitched today. Should I put on the white one now for the head? That was the Wells. It did get a hit. Yeah, I don't know. What do you think? Put it half on. Wear it backwards. Then I can't see. Jimmy will tell you what's happening. I'm going to grab water real quick. Water? Here. We're coming back. Huh? I want to go. Here? Here. Chat, you know what? Just you and me for a second. Let's make a memory. Let's steal this game. They're dragging. Joseph's heart rate's at 106. He's up to 113. What's the big man doing? If they get a hit, you rip that hair off. You rip it off right away. Especially G-running. If it's a base at the right field. Oh, my God. Hit him with the cockles. This is unbelievable that Stan is batting in this situation. Oh, she grabbed the cockles. That's fast. Holy ----. Let me get in the game. Let me get in the game here. Don't. Oh, please. Oh, no. Come on, G. She grabbed it. That's a good take. Make him throw you the fastball, G. Guys, that was a good change up. Come on. He took it. Come on, G. Let's go. One good swing. Oh, that was a really nice pitch. Come on, G. Win the pitch. Wooga, wooga, wooga. That was the pitch. He hasn't played in 138 games. I'm having fun. Yeah, this isn't at all. You're going to fall. I've done it. Let's go. Oh, they're so twisted up, dude. They're so twisted up. Not chasing the change up. So, he puts it in the zone. Come on, Ben. Oh, my God, dude. What are you doing? Hey, hey. This is the same ******* thing as Gossman and Yasavage. Yes. You start all your lefties, so they just spam change ups at them. Splitters and change ups and pitches that dive away. It's the same thing. One good swing, Billy. Ball. Good tap. Such a bad call. Good tap. Good job of winning the pitch there. And that's just the littlest of little mo. Yeah. That's a little mo. But throw a fastball here and be ready for it. Come on, Billy. Jump him. Come on. Jump him, Billy. That's game. What an embarrassing effort offensively. What an embarrassing effort. No batter got a hit and stayed on base. Chat, we appreciate you. Yeah, we appreciate you because you appreciate we and we appreciate ye. We're going to be going live on Talking Yanks to talk about, I guess, pitching. It'll be quick. All right, let's go do this show. Thank you, guys. Next Yankee stream, next Yankee game. See you here. Love you.