Martin Lawrence _Yeah I'm Drunk_.

Or they drink. If you check all the bars, they're mostly married men. You just look at it, they're mostly married and they're in there. They're dreading going home. And they're in the bar. Oh, ----. Make me another drink, Earl. Oh, God. I got to go home to the wife. Yeah. I don't know, Earl. Yeah. Well, you know what? Make it a double. She wants to **** tonight. Oh, God. Well, here's to her. Oh, God. And they go in the house. Honey, I'm home. They start drinking some more. And the in-house drunk is a mother ****** because he says things when he gets to drinking. And once that alcohol hits the system, you know, that he probably is just out of order for saying. You know what I mean? But he don't realize it because he's so drunk. And now that liquor taps into his emotions. And he starts telling this woman everything that he's just been wanting to say when he was sober. But he don't have the courage to say when he's sober. And he says it when he's drunk. Darling, do me a favor. Yes, baby. It's so good. I'm glad I'm home. I was thinking about you all day. I'm glad. Do me a favor. Never mind all that. Would you make me a drink, darling? Yeah. Just a little Cavazi. Put a little something in that glass for me right there, darling. Thank you so much, baby. Yeah, that's good. Cavazi. Make you say yeah. Cavazi, Cavazi. Darling, put a couple of cubes of ice in there. Cut that warmth off for me there, darling. Thank you, baby. That's a good drink. That is a good drink. Yeah, Cavazi. That's my drink there. That is my drink. Can I ask you something? When the **** are you going to grow your hair back? I'm tired. Yes, I said I'm tired. Your bald head is in the mud. You told me you was getting the Halle Berry look. Halle Berry don't look like that. I feel like you set me up. Motherfucker. I don't give a ----. Darling, put one more cube of ice in there. Cut that warmth and get it off. That was good. Can I ask you something? How is it you got more motherfucking shaving bumps than me? Huh? How is it you got more? I don't give a ****. Every week you're telling me you're going to get your lip waxed. You might as well just let them take the whole lip. Because that ---- is sitting out there like Sasquatch. **** that. If I wanted to marry Scotty from the whisper, bitch, I would have married him. Motherfucker, **** that. **** that. I said it. Huh? That's because I feel bad about it, girl. Okay? I said okay. Okay? You didn't talk to me about it. When you first gained five pounds, okay, that was cute. Okay? I'm going to admit. I'm going to admit that. Okay? That was cute. But 75 pounds, goddamn. What kind of ******* fool you take me for? My motherfucking ankles is still swollen from the last time we toyed around. Look at you. Oh, God, look at you. That was a good drink there. That was a good drink. I remember when I met you. You was a 115 tender bone. Yes, you was. You was the finest thing my eyes ever seen. You was a round-the-way girl. Now you're just a big bitch from up the street. Goddamn. Huh? Motherfucker. I don't give a damn. I don't like your mother and your family. I don't like none of you motherfuckers. Every year, every year, we got to do the family thing. Everybody brings potluck. **** that. None of you motherfuckers can cook. And your mother, tell her to stay the **** out of my face. Always in my face. How was my macaroni and cheese? It's fucked up, bitch. Don't nobody put pasteurized cheese in macaroni and cheese. You got to use cheddar. Cheddar is what you use. My mama told me that. Yeah.