How To Find The One || How We Met

Okay, so now in this video we're going to get into how you can find your... I don't like that. I was almost going to say your person. Wow, I don't like that phrase. You say it a lot. You don't like that phrase all the time. You think I say that all the time? No, you say you don't like it all the time. Oh yeah, but I was going to say how to find your one, but then that didn't really sound... Beach bound! All right, all right, all right. We are going to Pensacola Beach. It's Oakland's first vacation ever. We're scared. Yeah, a little nervous. We're about 10 minutes into the car ride and take a listen. There he is. What do you think? Are you ready to see the ocean? All right, we're taking big first first steps in the water, the ocean. You ready? He's ready. Let's do it. See if dad's still got it. And he does. You need to stick that landing. Good morning from Big Oak at the beach. Hey, lookie here. All right, his first bite of ice cream. What do you think? He's sticking his fingers in here. He's like, oh yeah. Man, he like went for it. Okay, welcome back to another video. Today we are talking about how to find the one. We have been asked this a lot, a lot. Big question. Big question. But now we're also not claiming to have all the answers. We don't know. But we're just giving you our opinion. Yeah. So in this video, we're going to talk about how you can find your one and how we found our one. Let's start it off by talking about how me and Sutton met, which is a really crazy story, actually, because it's not what you would think. I wonder what people do think. You can hear some guesses. That would be funny. I always thought I would, like, find my wife. I really thought I would be, like, walking down the street and I'd see her and I'm like, whoa, that girl's beautiful. And then I'd go talk to her and then she'd fall in love with me at first sight. That's how I thought I was going to meet my wife. But not in 2016. No, it was 2014. Anyway, so the way that we met is pretty crazy because I, for years, I'm talking like, I don't even know, maybe like six years, I probably woke up the majority of my days with the thought on my mind. Am I going to meet my wife today? It's like ridiculous. I was borderline obsessed and which I think is a real problem, actually, which we'll get into here in a few minutes. But it kind of hit me one night. I was just like, I am so done. I'm just so done trying to find my wife because it's not working. This is not. And I was putting in all this effort of my own. And then literally that night, that night is the night that came into my life. Didn't you cry about it? Probably. I don't remember exactly, but I probably did. Yeah, that night I was laying in bed and I actually prayed to God. I told God, I was just like, I'm done. I'm done looking for my wife. And then I woke up the next morning and received a message on the app Tinder. I was on Tinder. The next morning I woke up to a message on Tinder from her sister saying, hey, I know this is going to be the weirdest message that you ever get, but I think you should message my sister. And this was her. And I looked her up on Facebook and I was like, dang, that girl is pretty. So I messaged her and that's where it began. That's a pretty crazy story. Sometimes I feel like I'm lying when I tell that story, but it's true. If you want to see our full story, we actually have a video on our channel called Our Love Story. So if you want more of the details, you can go watch that. Anyway, so my side of that story was that I had been single for I think a year and I was with my younger sister and she was telling me, why don't you, why don't you get on Tinder? And I was like, I'm not getting on that. I feel like people are on that for the reasons that I would not be on that. And she was like, no, there's good people on there. Let me show you. So at the time she had a boyfriend, she wasn't using it, but she redownloaded the app to show me some people she had matched with in the past. So she's like flipping through these guys. I'm just looking at them, like, you know, giving her the time, but thinking this is so dumb. I'm not going to get on Tinder. And then she swipes in Nathaniel's picture and I was like, okay, that guy is cute. And she was like, you think so? Okay, I'm going to message him for you. And I was like, don't, that's so weird. Like he matched with you. He must be interested in you. Don't message him about me. And she's like, no, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. And so she did. And that was the message that he got. And then the next day I got the message from him. Okay. So now in this video, we're going to get into how you can find your, I don't even like, I don't like that. But I was almost going to say your person. Wow. I don't like that phrase. You say it, but you don't like that phrase all the time. You think I say that all the time? No, you say you don't like it. Oh, yeah, but I was going to say how to find your one, but then that didn't really sound right. Anyway. Yeah. In this video, we're going to talk about how you can find the one for you. Before we get started, be sure to subscribe to this channel. If you're liking these videos, because we have a lot of really cool videos coming out. We have a list of like 20 videos we're going to be putting out over the course of the next few months, including our proposal video, how I proposed to Sutton, which I think is probably going to be our next video. And I don't know if y'all know this, but we were on the family feud. Our family was on family feud. And we got permission from the people over at family feud to make a video about our experience. So we're going to be coming out with that too. So leading to our first step on how to find the one, which is basically to stop looking. Stop looking. For me and for many people that I know every day, you just think you're going to go out there and find your life. But really, you need to let go and let God do his thing and what he does best. And I don't mean don't put in any effort to sit on the couch and watch TV all day and don't do anything with your life. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about stop trying to make things work that aren't working. Especially if you're in a relationship, you're trying to pursue someone who's not that into you. Just quit it. Because the person that is for you, the one, it's just going to happen. It's going to work out. If God has planned you guys to be together, then it shouldn't feel forced. It shouldn't feel like you're trying to bend over backwards to make them happy or make it work out. It's going to be effortless. Yes, effortless. And like our story, literally the moment I stopped looking was the moment that Sutton came into my life. And it seems like a lot of the people, relationships around us, that we know, it seems like it happened that way for them, right? Where it worked when they weren't looking. So if you're looking for a person that you think is going to fulfill you or fulfill this emptiness that you have inside of you, we believe that that is a problem. God is the one that's going to fulfill that emptiness or that hole you may feel that you have in you. If you are not happy without them, you're not going to be happy with them. It just came up with one of my sayings. And if you are idolizing this person or holding them to this, you know, high standard that you're just waiting on them to come to you, then that's also a problem. And we feel like you need to let go of that and concentrate on your relationship with God. God tells us to be content with what we have. So if you are single and you're not happy and you feel like you have this void in your life, then yeah, that's a problem. And you should use this time of singleness to figure out what is that? What is this void inside of me that I'm trying to fill that only Christ can fill? And we've said this on one of our past videos as well, but I love the saying to become the person you're looking for is looking for. What does that mean? That basically means like your future wife or husband. Who are they looking for? What kind of person are they looking to be their partner one day? Well, you need to become that person. Are they really looking for someone who's unhappy by themselves and are waiting for them to fill a void in their life? Probably not. They'll be much more excited to be with someone who's happy and loves God and is fulfilled, but they can come together and just multiply that together. And by doing this, when they do come into your life, you'll be ready for them. The next thing you can do to find the one is to pray about it. There is so much power in prayer and our words to God. And if you just tell him what you're looking for and what your desires are, here he knows the desires of your heart. I believe he wants to fulfill those for you because he loves you. But at the same time, we're not saying that praying about it, that he's going to do it for you. Maybe it's not in the cards for you. We personally believe that God will bring you the right person when the time is ready. But for some of you, maybe that's not the case. Maybe God has designed you to live a life of singleness. And if you hear that and you're just like, Oh, I can't. I can't bear the thought, which I admit I probably would be there. But if you are having that feeling and that thought, then that's a very, very good indication that you are idolizing a person and putting your fulfillment in a person and not God. And God works things out for the good of those who love him. So if you do end up being single, if he doesn't have a plan for you of a spouse, then I think you'll look back on that one day and be like, That was the best thing for me. And I'm thankful. You may not think that now, but when it happens, if it happens, I hope that you would feel that way. So another really practical tip is to expose yourself in the right situations and to the right people, such as going to church, church gatherings, putting yourself in a small group. And I'm definitely not saying put yourself in these situations for the intent of meeting someone. By doing that, you will be hopefully exposing yourself to a more chance of being around someone that could be a good spouse for you. Let's take a step forward here. Maybe you are already in a relationship and you're questioning, Is this person that I'm in a relationship the one? How would they know if the person in a relationship is the one or not? Well, I can tell you something about how you could know if they're not the one. Personal experience is in the past, my past boyfriends, sometimes I would think like, Maybe this is as good as it's going to get for me. Maybe this is what God has for me. And looking back now, I think it's sad to think that I had those thoughts because to me thinking that like, Is this the best God has for me? Makes it pretty clear that it's not. Like in my past relationship, there was nothing wrong. Everything was fine. It's just like it wasn't. There was just something missing. But the fact that I had to say to myself, Maybe this is the best God has for me. Should have been a clear sign to me that no, it's not. The next way you can tell if this person is the one or not is are they a Christian? If you're a Christian listening to this and if they do say they're a Christian, do they bear the fruit of a Christian? You know, a lot of people say they're a Christian, but they don't really bear the fruit of one. God calls us to be equally yoked. Another question is are they bringing you closer to God or further away from God? You know, I love my little analogies, you know. So one of them is a triangle. And like with you and your partner here on the corners and God at the top. And as you guys come closer to God, you become closer together. So that's the whole idea that really putting God first. Are you guys putting God first in your relationship? Those are good questions to ask if they're the right person for you. I never believed in the whole saying of, oh, when you know, you know. People would always say that to me about finding a spouse and I just thought that is so not true. And then I met Nathaniel and I was like, okay, people are right. That is the truth. Like when you know, you know. And now that we film weddings and I spend time with the bride, like interviewing them on camera, they will say the exact same thing that when they knew, they knew. And I tell them that I used to think that was silly and they were like, so did I. But it's the truth. So when you know, you know. My last little tidbit on this whole piece, it seems like when you find the one, it's just easy. It doesn't seem like it needs to be forced or you have to become someone you're not to make it work. It just seems like it happens and it's easy and it works. All right, guys, there it is. Our tips on how to find the one and how me and Sutton met. We hope this helps you find your person. I do not like that saying. Why do I keep saying that? Yeah, we hope this helped you find the one for you. If you found this video helpful or useful, please give it a thumbs up and drop us a comment below because when you do that, it helps boost this video and YouTube's algorithms and helps this message get out to more people. So thank you for that. Let's get into some questions here. This is something that we started recently where the top, the questions on our previous video that get the most amount of likes, we answer them at the end of the video and give you a shout out. If you have any questions, leave them below. Sterling Hamilton asks, I think this was the most liked question of any one we've got. What's a good way to have the conversation about sex with a potential partner? Yeah, and we don't think about these questions beforehand. So just a little disclaimer. I know, a good way to have the conversation. Well, funny enough, it was one of the first conversations that me and Sutton had. It was like, we brought it up probably within the first day. I think that's how it should be, is to, in the very beginning, bring it up, you know, because let them know how important it is to you. Come in with confidence with your stance. Don't be timid like, oh, I'm a virgin or I don't wanna have sex until I get married. Is that okay with you? No, you just gotta be confident about it and own it. Like, yeah, I believe that sex is for a man and woman inside of marriage. Do you believe that? Do you think the same thing? And if they don't. Cut them out. Yeah, so I think just bringing it up early on and with confidence is the best way to do it. I remember you doing this. I don't know if you remember this, but when we first started dating, he told me like, these are the guidelines. These are my boundaries. And if we cross them, then I can't be with you or something like that. Just like so confident and so straightforward. And I was like, yes, that's what I'm talking about. I liked that. Yeah, I forgot I did that. Wow, that's nice. So do that. Do that. Okay, question number two. Erin Nolan asked Sutton, I love your hair. What shampoo, hair products, and heat products? Okay, I solved this question. And this question actually got a lot of likes too. And then someone else asked me on Instagram. And while it is so flattering and so sweet, it is also so funny to me because about two years ago, I had some serious hair issues. Like something was going on with my hair where it was like waxy is the best term I can think of for it. Maybe people watching this have this same problem. But it was like this waxy substance in my hair. It was like she just dipped her head in a candle. Yes, and my hair, like literally I could move it and it would just stick in place. It was disgusting. Okay, so anyway, so I've had this problem for like two years. Looked it up. It's very common apparently. But even though it's common, nobody had an answer. Like I was watching all these videos. What can I do to fix it? People were saying like baking soda, apple cider vinegar. And while those things work, it was temporary. You wash your hair again, the waxiness is back. So I went to the dermatologist and I got this medicated shampoo. And that has helped me. Thank God. So if anyone's watching this video, I'm gonna link the shampoo so that you can get it because it will help you. And the conditioner I use is called Kristen S. It smells amazing. I don't use any heat products. My hair is just kind of naturally straight. So I just blow dry it and I don't have to straighten it or anything. So very simple. And I really don't know much about hair, which is why it's so funny that someone asked me that. But I appreciate it. That was very nice. I hope I'm saying this name right. Maybe Louisa C. Oh yeah. She's been one of our biggest supporters since the beginning. Really? Yeah. I think she's from Australia. Okay. So I have a question for Nathaniel. How did you propose to Sutton? That's a great question. Video coming. Yep. It's such a great question and it's our next video. I would answer, but just stay tuned. All right, guys. So this is Nate and Sutton helping you find the one. How should we end it? Just do what you always do. Say your little thing. All right, guys. So that was our video on how to help you find the one. I hope it was helpful. And until next time. What? Until next time what? You do it. What? You tell them something. Why is the end always the hardest thing? I know. You're the one that always says the end. We need to come up with a good ending, but until then.