How narcissistic mothers create narcissistic sons

[Music] hi everyone thank you so much for stopping by today if you are new to my channel then please click on the Subscribe button to receive notifications for any new videos that I upload this channel focuses primarily on healing from narcissistic abuse and I offer onetoone coaching for those of you who need support now in today's video I wanted to talk about the relationship between between a narcissistic mother and her narcissistic son now in many cases narcissistic mothers will pick the son to be The Golden Child and when the son is The Golden Child in this relationship unfortunately in most cases the golden child's son will also end up becoming a narcissist himself and the reason this happens is because the mother believes that the son belongs to her and is is there to meet her emotional needs now in many cases narcissistic mothers will have a very toxic in meshed relationship with their son and this relationship becomes dysfunctional very early on and the mother becomes very smothering towards the son if she chooses her son to be The Golden Child she will expect him to be there for her she will expect the son to be a surrogate friend a surrogate partner she would expect the son to meet all of her emotional needs and of course this creates a really really unhealthy Dynamic and the son quickly learns that the mother's love towards him is only conditional and that he can only get this love when he does the things that his mother wants he will always feel inbt towards his mother he will never be able to detach from this unhealthy body Bond because he will crave his mother's love especially because it is only conditional the problem with a unhealthy dynamic between a mother and a son is that the son is not allowed to grow up and separate and be a unique individual the sun is not allowed to have a life of his own and when the son ends up having a potential partner this relationship that he has with his mother will end up ruining that partnership because he will project the hatred that he feels towards his mother onto his wife he will always side with his mother and this is when you know that the man is narcissistic the man is unhealthy there are obviously cases where a son can have an unshed relationship with their mother but they don't end up becoming a narcissist themselves it might be that they are are still really in meshed with their mother but that they actually have a desire to change this Dynamic and they are able to get healthy by looking into um counseling or therapy or looking into some sort of support in order to get themselves detached from this essentially trauma bond that they have with their mother so not all men who have narcissistic mothers end up becoming narcissists but in this video I am particularly focusing on the sons that do become narcissists because they end up causing so much harm to their Partners if they manage to have a relationship usually when there is a intense and dysfunctional relationship between a narcissistic mother and her son in most cases the father so the husband is not usually um present the father is either absent or is quite abusive towards the mother the father is usually not able to meet the mother's emotional needs and in very extreme cases when the father also doesn't meet the mother's sexual needs there is the possibility that the mother will start using the son to meet her sexual needs as well this is obviously the extreme end of things most unmeshed relationships between a mother and son are emotional but there are cases where this can become sexual and the mother will literally use her son as a surrogate husband and this is a very unhealthy Dynamic which will inevitably destroy the son's life it will destroy the way that the son views sex in a healthy way he will struggle to have um sexual relationships with partners he will always be comparing to the relationship that he had with his mother it is very very difficult for the son to then move on and form healthy sexual relationships when when a narcissistic mother chooses to fixate on her son she will make her son the center of the universe and this will of course cause the sun to have a very inflated ego and to have levels of grandiosity that mean that he becomes quite narcissistically abusive towards intimate Partners in the future a narcissist is usually created in their environment and it's a mixture of trauma of boundaries that have been crossed um of making the sun feel like they are special but at the same time punishing them for not meeting the parents needs so it a very complicated um Dynamic and a narcissistic son will be completely and utterly controlled by his mother he will find it very very hard to break free from this Bond because it is very very strong trauma Bond the mother will use all sorts of different manipulation tactics to control her son she will guilt trip her son she will shame her son she will um make him feel horrible about himself if he doesn't do the things that his mother wants she will only show love when the son is being good when the son is doing what the mother wants and this Dynamic is very very painful for the son because he wants his mother's love he's always craved his mother's unconditional love and because he isn't able to receive this unconditional love he will stay glued to the mother receiving only the tiny little scraps of love that the mother will give him when he has been a good son and this is what keeps the unhealthy Dynamic going it is a very very difficult relationship and if you are the partner of a man like this who is narcissistic and also has an inest relationship with his mother I would advise you to end the relationship because this sort of man is not going to be able to change is not going to be able to break free from this unhealthy Dynamic and he will most likely always prioritize his mother's love his mother's needs his mother's wants and he will make you feel horrible about yourself he will not give you the healthy love that you deserve if this is a topic that you could relate to and you would like like to share your experience then please do so in the comments below and if you have any questions at all then please feel free to email me ATC courage is all you need gmail.com thank you so much for stopping by today and for listening and I will see you very very soon take care bye-bye