He Accessed Love – And Healed

I was unhappy and angry and would take that out on other people. My understanding of love was it has to come from outside and grab, grab, grab. It's kind of embarrassing to say that I didn't have the capacity to send love. In 2017, I got multiple whammies from the universe. One was I got diagnosed with hypothyroidism on set. And I got severe GI distress, enough that I had to get a CAT scan and they put like radioactive dye inside. And it was really upsetting to have this remarkable degradation in health. To add more fun to the drama, I also started noticing that I was beginning to get into physical fights. So I had to go to see a therapist and they diagnosed me with CPTSD, which is complex trauma. I completely became dysfunctional in all aspects of my life. It was almost like my health was here and I slowly started declining to the point where there was no joy left in my life. I was unhappy and angry and, you know, would take that out on other people. But I didn't realize that I had this all this stuff inside and severely deficient in love. My understanding of love was, it has to come from outside and grab, grab, grab. And almost, you know, it's kind of embarrassing to say that I didn't have the capacity to send love. It was all about these things which I can get from other people, right? So it was very transactional. And I didn't even understand what true love was. That's when my journey started. I, you know, followed the usual protocols. did functional medicine for one year got another the first was a cat scan then I think I got an MRI I got also got the colonoscopy where they put the thing inside for an entire year we did IVs and glutathione and a bunch of stuff and no change it is divine intervention that so many people from dr. Joe's community they literally steered me. I had an established meditation practice. I did not want to learn meditation, but there was something about the way they spoke, the transmission, the joy in their faces and the vibrancy and the joy in them. Just so blown away by it. I don't know who Dr. Joe was, just signed up for the retreat. I changed my entire life and started doing this work, started coming to this retreat and one thing which I noticed was that I would feel super healthy here and then I'd go back and slowly start degrading all the stomach distress would come back one of the aspects of this work is that we have to change and I kind of built I really did not understand that or I have this misconception in my head that I can get all these things like money and, you know, restore my health, but I don't have to change. I can still be angry and impatient and judgmental, and I'm going to get all these results, and it did not work for me. I always wanted a dog, but the way I was as a person, I knew it was not a good idea. I was impatient, lacked empathy, and I ended up getting these two puppies. And what I started seeing was that when I was in a bad mood, I was yelling at them sometimes. I saw the effects on my first dog like oh she seems to be shutting down a little bit she's not like you know her usual jumpy jumpy self I remember I made this really really firm decision that I am going to stop all these stressors from affecting them like I'm going to be a guardian anything happened in my environment it's not going to touch them like I'll stop whatever the stressors are whatever the anger is it has not to do and I and I from that day onwards I stuck to my word anytime I realized that I was going into a bad mood I would walk away do some journaling I really really worked hard and you know I'm kind of proud to say that uh it has worked for me like I'm able to you know manage my uh regulate my emotions so much better in addition this is Something which I should have done years ago, I joined an authorized coherence group. But my favorite part of the week is my Tuesday where we send love to these children. And I just, I remember all their faces and all their smiles. And I feel it's a gift to be able to, you know, do those healings. One part of me does not believe that, you know, my, you know, healing like this. Like, I love the meditation, but there was this block in my head that oh it's not working for the you know like the healing the physical aspects of feeling until one year ago I realized oh my god I sleep the whole night no insomnia I've had insomnia for decades completely gone so it's like oh that's that's good you know still not understanding that it's a physical healing and then a few months ago I realized that I do not have stomach distress anymore I'm eating all the food it's you know my GI system is working really well not taking any supplements no magnesium but I can pretty much eat anything without having GI distress this has been life-changing I think a life of love is worth fighting for and all this work to get access to profound love and the capability to love receive love as well as give love is a gift and it's given me a new life Thank you.