Tired Mom Diaries // holy wow....and here's what's helping (podcast ep. 3)

Welcome back to my podcast, episode three, Tired Mom Diaries. That's what we're talking about. That's what you guys voted on. I'm excited to chat about it today. I have my notes, as always, and it's not going to be edited, as always. I feel like humans are creating, not creating, craving real. I was craving real as a content creator, and so I just sat down one day and I just turned the camera on and we talked, and you guys really felt comforted by it, so we're just going to keep doing it this way. um i have an update on what's happening in my life in the next podcast so stay tuned for that there's just a lot of shifting going on and you guys have been here for a very long time so i want to take you with me respectfully into the next stage of margaret i have my they're not my blue light blockers these are my midday glasses from raw optics on so you guys might ask um And then... What today is all about. is like I'm not going to tell you a lot of my heart like yes I'll weave in my story because that's comforting but like you know what tired mom life is. So what I want to tell you is what has moved the needle for me and has really shifted what motherhood feels like. I'm somebody who used to be very angry, very angry, very overstimulated, just low, did not see a lot of good Good in life. Yes, I enjoyed my kids, but it just felt too heavy. It wasn't working. So. Over the last, I don't know, eight years of being a mom, essentially these are lessons that I've learned to not survive. I don't like that word, but to learn how to do this life and to live life. I'm excited to get into this. It's going to be real per usual. I'm an open book. I feel like God made me that way for a reason to share my experiences with other women. And, um, God gave me the gift of like being able to tell a story and I'm not afraid of the camera. I'm like, I know that I'm talking to you. Like I know what this is in the big picture. So I'm really grateful to be here. Thank you for showing up for podcast number three. Also, if you have any title ideas for the pod. Let me know. Right now, it's just the podcast with Margaret Matheny. If you have any guest speakers you want me to bring on, I don't even, is that what I do? Do I need to do that? I'm just doing my best here. I got a candle, got my Healthy Home Shop light bulbs on the dim, right? Unfortunately, I have an overhead light on because I don't have legit lighting. I'm just doing this after hours. Mm-hmm. Maybe we call it after hours. Maybe we'll call it showing up. Welcome to the showing up show help. Okay. Before we dive into my points, one little ad, you're going to want to hear this because it's for women. It's the supplement company. This is like the number one question that I get everywhere across all platforms. It's like, what supplements do you take? I love you guys for asking that question for trusting me. Like that really, like really cool. Um, and be fertile. I would say fertile supplements, F R T I L. Um, they're be fertile on Instagram, but essentially it's a woman who created real supplements with real ingredients because she was like, I'm in the process of having kids and I can't find this stuff anywhere. Beef liver, oyster, acerola cherry, and magnesium. Those are her main four. She also has like a beef liver B9, which is specifically for women who are pregnant or in their fertility cycles or something like that. I'm not a doctor. Uh, she is an expert. All of this information is on her website. I encourage you to go read it. You'll just, you'll learn so much about the body just by reading it. But essentially what I learned from being ultra crunchy and ultra obsessed with health is that it's so much simpler than we realize. So much simpler. And Meg, the founder of Fertile, um, a wonderful human, absolute Absolute Tremendous Human. She just wanted to. Give that not only to herself, but to other women, simplified supplements that are going to give you what you need in real food form, like real wholesome, real stuff form. Thank And also my husband, who's like not a supplement guy, swears by the magnesium. He's like, I feel a difference for the first time ever when I take a supplement, I feel a difference. So I think that's pretty cool. My kids eat the beef liver supplements like candy legitimately, legitimately have to hide you. them from them. And all winter long, we take acerola cherry. All winter long. And the oyster I take for zinc boosts. It's also an aphrodisiac. So it also helps grow your hair. Amazing. Oyster is amazing. I could talk forever about fertile supplements. I wish I could. But I will leave all the information down for you below. And the code and a discount and all that good stuff. Meg is incredible. I love their supplements. They're always in my pantry. Okay, let's move on to, was that? Okay, real talk. You guys got to help me as I do this podcast, please. Was that ad too long? Do I need to shorten it? I just get excited about supplements and about Fertile because I believe in it so much. Should I shorten it? Please tell me. Like, I've got tough skin, all right? I'm not someone who's easily like, my feelings are hurt. I'm just not. And I want this to be good and beneficial for you. So please just like. Hey, Margaret, really successful podcasts do this and this and this. Like, I don't have the podcast jingle. I don't think I'm going to get one. I think I'm just going to, like, keep it real. I don't know. Am I being? Okay, whatever. I'm trying too hard. Okay. Tired mom diaries and what I do to help. Here's my diary journal. Holy shh. I'm not going to say it, okay? Motherhood right now is sanctifying me. And what that means is. That it is teaching me very, very, very hard lessons that are very important for me to learn. But in having my kids around me 24-7, four boys nonetheless, it's just exposing a lot of my weaknesses right now. Two is one thing, three was nothing. Four is a lot of children, a lot of bodies, a lot of needs. I just want to love so much that it just weighs on me sometimes, a lot of Let me give you like a quick synopsis of the biggest things that I'm learning. Number one, how important it is to take care of myself because when I don't, I don't get out of my PJs. I'm super not fun. Um, I don't see a lot of like good in life. Um, I'm, I'll, I'll break these down. I'm, I'm jumping to conclusions again. Here I go. Being a novice at podcasting. Um, let's just jump in. Let's just jump into the first point. Cause that's why you're here. I was explaining. Where we are in life. Okay. I'm homeschooling all of them. Right. We live in a neighborhood with great neighbors. That's a really cool part of this deal. My husband's in a very busy season of work. So a lot of it is me right now. And it's not a knock on him. He's doing really hard work and he's doing amazing. But I'm carrying and I'm saying, okay, like this is my season a lot. Um, with the kids and like, I chose to homeschool, like I'm knowing that it was going to land on me a lot. So, um, that's kind of where we are. I'm in my thirties, early thirties, I'm done having kids and, um, I'm realizing like, yes, I have gray hair. Yes. I'm getting a lot of wrinkles. I'm really tired. Um, and if I don't do these things, I get overwhelmingly tired, like crash out, can't do anything tired, like legit. I don't know how else to explain it. Do you guys get this way? Where it's like, I, I, I literally work all day, but I get like the dishwasher half emptied dishes, like half put away meals, subpar all day long, me not dressed me, like literally not having direction in a day. That's how tired I can get sometimes. And just, it's a really bad feeling. So that's why I have this list that I'm like, this is my floor. Um, Michael smoke, uh, One of my favorite podcasters right now, he's like, just do your floor. Like, what are you going to be able to do every single day? Don't shoot for the ceiling every day. I'm like, as a type B person, thanks for saying that. These are my floors, okay? Number one, get dressed. Number one, get dressed every single day. And I honestly don't know why, but I don't like getting dressed. Why? I don't know. I need to like dive into that a little bit more. But maybe it's just I don't have time. Or I don't see the value in like spending 15 minutes getting dressed over snuggling with my kids on the couch, you know? And if I get up and get dressed, I have to get up earlier before them. That's just how it works. So there's just, maybe this is my excuse. There's a lot of complexities I have to figure out in order to get dressed in the morning, okay? And so a lot of times I skip it not a lot of times. Sometimes I skip it and on those days those days are harder. Like literally physically and mentally. So this is like one of my floors is like Margaret just get dressed. A lot of reason like why I chop my hair off because I'm like let's make it easier to be cute okay. We don't need the long mane anymore. I don't miss the hair by the way. I love my short hair. I didn't think I was gonna love it this much. But yeah, getting dressed essentially says, my notes are right here, is Margaret, I'm showing up for you today. And you've got this and you always feel better when you get dressed. I have some staples. Some like button downs always make me feel a little bit more put together. We're wearing jeans again, which is really fun. Do you guys feel the same? Getting dressed, does it help you? Like it helps me. I feel like it does. And it's not this narcissistic, like if I look good, I feel good. But it's like literally as a human, physically and biologically, when I look good, I feel good. It's not because I'm obsessed with myself, but it's like I'm showing up for you today. That's how it feels. Number two, my breakfast casserole and my soup. If I don't eat, if I don't eat, I crash completely. Sorry, I was kind of shocked at why I did this and why I was acting goofy when I'm tired and it's like 8 p.m. Maybe it's because I'm tired. We've had sick kids for the last two weeks. Actually, no. We were sick. They got over it pretty quickly. Then we got sick again. What a bummer. But I also am someone who believes that when you and your family are expanding and moving into something and shifting, people get sick. Call me woo-woo, whatever you want, but I'm choosing to believe the good in the sickness, okay? Let me believe it. Actually, a chiropractor that I really trust told me that when children are growing, they usually get sick to shed and then expand into who they are. So I might not be that off. Wow, what mood am I in? I'm sorry. Come on, Margaret, gather yourself. Breakfast, casserole, and soup. I have to nourish myself with warm foods. Oh my gosh. If I have yogurt in the morning, done. Day is over. My body, my digestion, this taps into the traditional Chinese medicine that I've studied over the past few years, like 10 years. Cold drinks, cold food, they zap my energy as a mom. I need warmth and I need protein and I need easy. So I prep a breakfast casserole once or twice a week and I keep it in the fridge and I give myself a massive slice every single morning with cottage cheese in it. Like it's got the protein and then I eat fruit slices or cheese or whatever I feel like with it because I'm like gearing up. for a marathon. No, it's not that dramatic, but I need that nourishment first thing in the morning. And then I always have a soup on hand for lunch, a warm soup that I just heat up on the stove. No microwaves. No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. Not with food. I mean, I'm not against it. I have a microwave. Okay. It's not that I'm not making it that big of a deal. I'm going to have a podcast series on X crunchy Margaret. But I just, when it comes to food that we're eating, I really don't want it to be nuked. Okay. But those two things keep my protein levels adequate and keep me full. That is what sustains me more than figuring out a delicious dinner. I need sustainability from breakfast and lunch. Same with my kids. And what traditional Chinese medicine and Ayurvedic medicine and so many, honestly, European ways of eating food and nourishing your body, it is... It is not rare to have very early dinners and for lunch to be the biggest meal of the day. I'm rambling. I mean, I care about health. I'm just like, I deeply care about health. I want it to be like primal and real and honest and not this crunchy, stressed out version of health. That's what I was. And I feel like that's what the crunch world is. It's like, absolutely not. I don't know. Actually, no, I do know. I've lived in the crunch world and I don't like it. So I'm not in the crunch world anymore. Number three, teaching my boys that I'm the leader. Okay, you know what has exhausted me more than a lot of things is being walked on by my own children. And that's really hard to say out loud, okay? This is not, this is real, okay? I am, I'm a gentle person. I feel so deeply and I want my kids to know they are so loved, all right? And that their voice matters, that their opinions matter. Um, I want them to know they're unique. They're important. They're valued. Okay. And through the love that I have for them, I think I've been too soft, not in a bad way, but in a way where there came situation after situation after situation where they weren't listening to me and God opened my eyes to be able to see that very clearly. Um, and What having four has, has done was really just like expose the weaknesses in my parenting, which is like brutal. It's absolutely brutal because that's what I care about more than anything else. Um, and I mean, no, it's what I care It's very high on the list of what I care about husband above that. Okay. But this is what I do all day, every day. Right. And that's what I mean, those battles and losing the battles and knowing that. Made tired momming 10 times harder. My gosh, I'm just going to say that. Thank So what I had to learn is how to demand their respect. And that sounds firm, but that needed to happen, you guys. you Like demanding my children's respect. so And part of me was like, I don't know how to do it. I'm either a nice mom or I'm like, so I'm like, what is in the middle? much Like, where can we live here? for And it honestly is me being very direct. And I'm reading. parenting from love and logic out of love and logic, that. parenting from love and logic. I don't know. That's the gist of it, but it's essentially being very direct. You have this option. This is the outcome and you have this option and that's the outcome. And that is what has helped me take my emotions and the heaviness out of it. I give them the decisions to make and, um, the consequences follow either good or not good for them. Okay. To be honest, guys, learning this and retraining my central nervous system as a mom and retraining this in our home has been insanely exhausting. But I go to bed every night. I pray. I talk to God throughout the entire day. But at night, I'm like, God, I know you see me. I know you see me. And I know you're asking me to do this. Give me strength for tomorrow. And today was a day where I'm like, oh my gosh, my three-year-old's starting to listen a little bit. He's asking me to do things instead of just walking off and doing them. And I also read that when you have boundaries, when you have structure in your home, kids feel more safe, and they know what to expect. So I just keep hearing and reading, and God keeps bringing this down. He's comforting me in this. This is the right thing to do. And so that's where I'm at with that. I think that was... It's not really like how deep I was planning to get, but that's where we got. Yeah, okay. Working out. Okay, tell me what you guys think about this. Okay, Corey Malloy, God bless her. She has this whole program where she teaches you literally how to work out, how to hold yourself up. And in her program, she's like, when you do this, expect your capacity levels to expand tremendously. So I took her program. I was like, what is it really? I've taken a lot of things, okay? I've done a lot of diets. I've done a lot of meditation, hoping for things to change, okay? That's why I decluttered my whole home, because that actually made me feel like things are changing. And on top of that, took Corey's course, like a challenge, right? For a month to work out in a way that holds your body up. You guys, my capacity blew up. Like, I felt like Wonder Woman. If you want to know more, Check out Kori Malloy, K-O-R-I, M-A-L-L-O-E-Y. Sorry, I don't know her last name. But. But working out, and Michael Smoak talks about this too, working out is an act that you are telling your body. You can do hard things. And in doing that, you are physically getting stronger. So when you do things physically, your body adapts physically and mentally at the same time. So Corey proves this in her course. Michael Smoke proves this all the time in his podcast and in his life and what he's done and what he's doing for a lot of other people as he coaches them. But you increase your strength physically, you increase your strength and your capacity mentally, period. I would, I'm living proof of someone who was like, I don't know if this is going to work for me. I'm going to give it a shot. Faithfully worked out, like pushed myself a little bit. Even with four boys, it doesn't make sense. I have someone running off here. I have someone running up. No, I'm going to do it. And I did it. And it literally changed my life in that month. And then I traveled the next month and then it all went back down. So I'm getting back into my My workouts. 10 days in. And it kind of hurt getting back into it. But I'm just someone who's like, if you're tired as a mom, work out, but don't like do the workouts that collapse you. Corey talks about this. Like so many of us are already like this. If we're working out and you're squatting and you're tucking your pelvis, like you're going to stay collapsed and you're not going to get your capacity that you're looking for. You need to learn from her. Not trying to be harsh, but I'm also like, if you want to see change, that'll do it. All right. I mean, all these things all together. can do massive things for you because they have done massive things for me. I'm not telling you to copy my life. Do what works best for you. Pick one or two. Try them out. See how they work. Thank But I just can't believe how weak I was. I'm going to say that. I can't believe how weak I was expecting life to be good, but staying in my weak habitual cycle. It was just not okay. Came to me when I started working out and strengthening myself again. And like the things that pop up in your head you. when you are getting stronger, like you're just you just stop worrying about things like I just made direct decisions. It's when I was like, no, I'm I got to be the leader here. Things just like iron out. It was amazing. Thank And then number five, tired, hard days. I had one two days ago. Where I didn't get out of my PJs, my car broke down, you I didn't have any dinner, like so plenty of things, okay? Like honestly, so it's not that big of a deal compared to what other people have to deal with in life. I get that. But hard is hard, okay? much. So you're allowed to have a hard day. On hard days, do whatever you can to get in bed as early as possible. with love towards your family. Communicate it to your husband. Communicate it to your kids. This is beneficial for everybody in this house. If I crawl in bed and I turn on my book and I go to bed early. Now, if you're doing that every single night, obviously it's not going to flow with your family. But two nights ago, I got in bed at 730 and I said, Tate, I have to do this. His phone My phone is ringing. It's okay. I have to do this. And I did it and I went to bed and I felt so much better the next morning. So like, it's okay to have your bad days. I promise. Just get outside, get your kids outside, get your body outside ground, get some sunshine, turn on music that you love, feed your body, pray, pray, pray, journal it out. And don't just say like, God, help me. Like God, you are the God of strength. You are the God of hope. Place that on me now. And then just like sit and like welcome it in because we're not like rubbing a genie bottle when we're talking to God. We're just like, he's with us. He is in us. And that's something motherhood has taught me is just like how to pray my ASS off and not like, help me. But God, you are here with me. You see what I'm dealing with. You are the God of peace. Thank you for giving me your peace. Like believing that it's already here as I'm asking it at the same time. You know what I mean? Just like it's belief and it's faith that we need on our hard days. That is the end of this podcast. Being tired is real. And when I saw somebody who said like, our mom's actually doing it. Like, how are you actually doing this? Homeschooling, cooking, looking cute, being a content creator. How are you actually doing this? They weren't talking to me. They were talking to like the mothers as a whole. And I was like, I'm looking for the answer. Tell me. Does anyone have it figured out? The answer, no. And if they say yes, it's BS. The answer is no. Man, I'm in a mood and I'm sorry. It's just what's going to be, okay? But I'm passionate about motherhood, I think. No, I don't think. Like, I know I'm passionate about motherhood. And I just, everyone is battling, okay? Don't look at somebody else and say like, oh, they're not battling and I'm battling. No, we're all battling. You choose your heart, right? But you also choose what you believe about that. I believe I'm a person that can be tired and that can show up as a really good mom. I'm actually, I believe I'm a person that lives with energy and gumption and aliveness. And I'm not always tired all the time. You have to believe that. You have to believe life is good. You have to believe in the story God is unfolding for you right here. All right. I love you guys. See you in the next podcast. Please give me some ideas for like the name or do I just keep it the podcast by Mark Matheny? I don't know. Okay. Love you guys.