In this excerpt from American Recovery, reformed neo-Nazi Arno Michaelis explains how thrill-seeking, alcohol, violence, and the need for an ever-bigger rush made white nationalist ideology feel irresistible—and why the deeper he got, the more miserable he became.
Watch the full conversation to hear Arno’s complete story of radicalization, hate addiction, and recovery.
If you are concerned about someone’s extreme beliefs or behaviors, Parents for Peace has a free and confidential helpline at 844-49-PEACE (844-497-3223) or email at [email protected]
Arno Michaelis IV, a former violent extremist, discusses the psychological and personal drivers that led him to neo-Nazism. He explores the intersection of childhood trauma, genetic predisposition to addiction, and a compulsive need for adrenaline and social disruption, explaining how white nationalist narratives provided the ultimate \"rush\" of rebellion.
How does one become a neo-Nazi?
It's, as I mentioned, I've been doing this work 16 years,
and I've done it internationally.
I travel around the world from Abu Dhabi to Norway
to Tijuana and everywhere in between, Sydney, Australia.
And in traveling like that, I meet a lot of other formers.
Like in the counter-violent extremism space,
I'm what's known as a former,
as in a former violent extremist.
And pretty much all of the formers I know
had a lot of what they call in the mental health field
adverse childhood experiences.
Like, I have a friend, Chris Buckley,
who I helped to get out of the Ku Klux Klan,
and his entire childhood was just
a waking nightmare the entire time.
Like, sexual abuse, physical abuse, poverty, addiction.
In my case, I'm a bit of an outlier.
in that my childhood was relatively idyllic,
certainly compared to Chris's
and compared to a lot of my other peers in this space.
Everybody has an origin story about what got them to a place
where these narratives seemed appealing.
For me, I'm Arno Michaelis IV,
and I come from a long line of alcoholics.
All the Arnos before me were alcoholics.
and uh on my mom's side my mom's not an alcoholic
but there's a lot of alcoholism and addiction in
her side of the family so i was genetically predisposed
and as i'm sure you've heard this
term all the time
and in any recovery space an adrenaline junkie like real life was never
interesting enough for me i always had
to like disrupt things around me to make it interesting
and i started out as a bully on the school bus as a little kid
and i got a kick out of seeing
other kids afraid of me i got a kick out
of seeing parents afraid of me and even teachers
and the principal afraid of me
and that kick became my high like that was the rush that i
was pursuing all the time
and like any kind of thrill what i do talks a lot of talks in k-12
in middle school and i'm talking to kids i'm like
who likes roller coasters yeah i like roller
coasters i'm like you know that first time you go on a roller coaster
and you're going up that first
big hill and you're like and all this tension is building
and you don't know when it's gonna drop
and then it finally drops and you're like woo
and you might go upside down and you're going all over
the place and it's it's a rush
but if you go on that same roller coaster 10 times in a row
aside from probably losing your lunch like
the 10th time it's not a thrill anymore yeah you're
like okay oh here we go all right it's
not the rush it was the first time and my anti-social
behavior as a kid followed that same path
so it got boring to beat this kid up on the school bus
by myself so i like egged on the whole bus to beat
this kid up as it's the way of like escalating
the the chaos escalating the disruption
and that proceeded from bully on the school bus to fights
in the schoolyard to breaking
and entering to vandalism i started drinking when i was 14 it was
absolutely gasoline on a fire by the time i was 16 i
was a full-blown alcoholic i had been violent
since i was a little kid so i was very just accustomed
and conditioned to violence and hate
i found the more i i said
and felt hate like that was just kind of the cherry on top of all this
this rush that i'm pursuing all the time i i think every human being
who's ever been a teenager
had at least a moment in their teenage life
when they're going through puberty and the
hormones are raging and a parent
or a teacher says you can't do this thing that you really
want to do and the kid's like oh i hate you like
i think everybody's felt that at least once
for a glimpse but for me i'm like oh i hate you
and i hate this town and i hate this school and
i hate the cops and i hate society
and i found like the more i vocalized that hate the more of
a rush i got and that's
who i was when i was exposed to white nationalism through white power
skinhead music so then what specifically around
that time you said about 16 17 what specifically
was it that that that what gave you that allure
into the into the neo-nazi skinhead white
nationalists group i my entire life i've
been really into storytelling as i as i mentioned
and when i was a little kid i would go to a library
and i would just come out with a huge
pile of books on like greek myths and norse myths
and i'd read about hercules and thor and odin and
all these quests and they're fighting monsters like i
was a super into that i i read a lot of
fantasy i was super into fantasy books i played dungeons
and dragons from the time i was in sixth
grade and and here is this music that's telling me i am a white warrior
who has to save his race
from extinction at the hands of this evil jewish plot
to kill all the white people on the planet
earth and as ridiculous as that should sound
to any thinking person to 16 year old arno this was
like it was the best thing i'd ever come across well
was it was it like was it was it exacerbating
or was it an escape for something that you
were feeling inside was it was it it wasn't a release
identifying into this music or what's
but what exactly was that it was really like just the the
highest level of pissing people off that i had come across
to that point like prior to becoming
a skinhead i was a punk rocker
and i i screamed in punk rock bands and i was i don't have a lick
of musical talent but i used to be able
to scream really loud get crazy on stage i had a lot of fun
doing it i was good at that and punk rock to me
was just about like breaking things and pissing
people off that was what my punk
was about well nothing pisses people off like a swastika like
that that was the big attraction to me even
though i knew why people were repulsed by the swastika
i grew up with a lot of jewish friends i one
of my first friends growing up was a kid named dean
caplan and my dad and his dad would sit around drinking scotch
while me and dean would play legos
and just hang out and but we had that quintessential conversation
that every like jewish and non-jewish
kid have when i'm like you mean to tell me you get presents
for eight days whoa that's not fair
Dean's like, yeah, but the eight days, like,
don't really even add up to your one day of Christmas.
Like, don't feel bad about it.
But Dean was awesome, and I had all kinds of other Jewish friends.
In sixth grade, I went to all kinds of bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs.
And I had nothing but good experiences with Jewish people.
I grew up in, like, a pretty well-to-do suburb,
and my family was kind of living beyond their means to be there.
The suburb was predominantly Euro-American people.
but um the few afro-american kids that were that lived where i did
and the few like asian and
latino kids i was friends with all them and i had nothing
but good experiences with them in fact i
was actually a break dancer
in the early 80s like before it got really popular for white kids to be
listening to hip-hop and then as soon
as it got popular i'm like okay i'm done with that i don't
want to do what everybody else is doing
that all happened before this 16 year old encounter with
the swastika and with the music and with the narrative.
And because it just tripped my
addiction so hard and it gave me that rush that I
was constantly seeking, like addiction always
does, it disconnected me from all my childhood friends
and from all the good things in my life.
And the further I fell into it, the more miserable things got.
Folks, if you enjoyed this short video,
check out the link right there for the full episode.