3 Behavioral Traits of a Narcissistic Friend #npd #narcissist #narcabuse

What's up y'all? Spiritual Whistleblower here. Just wrapped up in Chicago. Isn't the face just glamorous, honey? This ---- is too easy for me. Little hair is tangled. This is too easy for me. I want all the smoke. That's why I dress down. I don't have to show off or be somebody that I'm not. I don't have to fake the funk because when I get glammed up, I hurt feelings. I just want to take this time out to say thank you to everyone that came out to the Chicago um support group meetup today was beautiful thank y'all so much um shout out to my sponsor jay's elixirs uh the girls loved the cocktail the pink whistle teeny thank you guys so much i am on my way now i'm actually at the airport i will be headed to detroit um i'm on my way now guys i'll be there late tonight get me some sleep tonight um i'm gonna spend a couple days in detroit actually i have a lot of friends in detroit and we're gonna go out and stuff and i got friends everywhere don't i but yeah i'm gonna be in detroit a couple couple of days to have some fun and um rest up too but tomorrow night sunday is the actual support group meet up at 6 p.m you still have time to get tickets uh email me i will get back to you with location and everything guys all right um just to spin off of yesterday's video where i was talking about how you know toxic manipulative narcissistic men gay or straight a lot of them are very well dressed well groomed clean nice hands nice fingernails like they know how to dress the **** up dress the **** down what have you but they have a problem being leeches and they're they're cheap even if they have high paying jobs they're cheap with their money a lot of them lie about how much money they make and um you know living above their means pretending to have more than what they actually have we call this the well-dressed dusty um to piggyback off of that um i guess you could call this a part two um and a lot of people want me to keep doing videos on of toxic friendship it is what it is but i want to talk about passive aggressiveness passive aggressiveness and all narcissists do this all toxic codependent manipulators do this um what i'm about to describe the passive aggressiveness when they do it all the time but i want to talk about when they're guilty um this is why i strongly advise you all never to call them out on their behavior um i'm gonna give y'all two different stories of an example of how i almost got baited into something because someone was uh treating me they were being passive aggressive and they were being victims they were playing the victim you know narcs do this victim mindset ---- when when they know they're guilty of not being um solid with you you know and you may not call them out you may cut them off what have you you may alert them that you are on to them and you want nothing to do with them without telling them exactly what they did so um what usually happens is um when they they try to bait you into getting you to explain yourself they're going to uh get in this victim mindset then they're going to gaslight you for answers and to find a way to spin it back around on you right um and they're going to be very passive aggressive um I'm going to give you guys two examples of what I mean by that this time last year um actually in Chicago um I have these friends that I have known for years and I've I got rid of them I don't wish them any harm no disrespect but they they got the boot I I totally cut them off because like they wanted me to chase them they live in Chicago um when I was doing my hip-hop events and I had a hip-hop magazine and I did a lot of events they helped me you know they participated they wanted to be a part of it but now I'm doing domestic violence my whole platform is domestic violence and it's crickets everybody's crickets everybody's silent now that I'm doing this domestic violence narcissistic abuse stuff so um you know I did my tour last year I came to Chicago and I did everything um I have friends in Chicago and we hung the **** out after I did my support group we went out to dinner before that we went to the comedy club like I got around like I got I am loved in Chicago. And come to find out, you know, and I didn't pay my friends any attention. I didn't hit them up. I wasn't looking for them to, you know, support me. I'm like, I don't care. You know, I was good. I had all types of people volunteering. People always volunteer to help me. People bring me gifts. I say, don't bring me no gifts. People bring me gifts anyway. People just want to feel like they're a part of something because you know and I had to realize this too it's not just about me I represent a very great mission um survivors of domestic violence I represent black women who are murdered which is black femicide I represent survivors of narcissistic abuse I'm doing God's work so it ain't about me it's the bigger cause that I stand for so a lot of people want to help and be included in that and I'm always getting offers for people to help me to take me around invite they I mean it's hard for me to say no I try to you know I don't like accepting things but people just insist thank you Chanel thank you spiritual whistleblower you've changed my life you've helped me heal please I insist let me take you to dinner let me take you around town let me help with your event people do well let me tell you something when you start to grow and evolve uh people from your past that you grew up with and old friends they have a funky ass attitude I came to Chicago last year I was having a good time I had one girlfriend she was a member of a um rich country club she took me to a country I didn't even know Chicago had a country club we had a blast honey we went swimming um we had they we had top of the line treatment at the country club. She treated me like royalty. I had another girlfriend take me out to the comedy club in Chicago. We went out to dinner, dinner after dinner. They came and helped me with my event. The event was awesome last year. It was great this year too, but last year it was more like a party vibe. It was great last year. So these old friends of mine who live in Chicago, I didn't hear a peep out of them. I didn't ask them to do ---- for me. I didn't hit them up. I didn't look them up and I you know it is what it is I went to Jamaica after Chicago I flew into Jamaica for vacation once I wrapped up in Chicago guess who hits me up while I'm on vacation it's those friends those old friends that sat there they come to find out they lurked and stalked my social media saw that I was in Chicago saw that I was having a good time they refused to reach out to me but they waited till i got uh to jamaica to interrupt my vacation to start some ---- with me bait me into an argument you know you could have called us you was in town and you didn't say nothing we would have helped you bitch i'm not begging nobody why do i have to beg somebody when people i got people knocking my door down saying can i help you can i be a part of it can i i don't gotta chase nothing or nobody you motherfuckers sat and watched and stalked my social media while i was in chicago didn't bother to reach out to me or for help because you wanted me to kiss your ass and beg you for help and i wasn't gonna do it so you wait you calculate very strategically to interrupt my vacation to bring me some bullshit and these are 40 something year old people y'all mind you all the whole conversation was passive aggressive i shut it down um i'm sorry but them chasing days are over it ain't about y'all y'all don't run chicago i don't gotta go through y'all to ******* make no decisions when i'm in chicago to hell with y'all and i blocked everybody these were some long time friends i got rid of them i was sick of it i don't do toxicity i'd rather kick it with new people that aren't toxic than to stick around people i ain't got time y'all now i'll give y'all another example this happened recently um and they're probably he's probably watching and i don't give a **** i cut off somebody who i've been thoroughly you know i've been watching his behavior the whole pattern of behavior and um he did something and i refuse i'm not i don't need to tell him i just know my intuition my spirit and he knows my discernment is very powerful this individual knows i'm spiritually in in tune i have a high level of discernment um i can't be around anything toxic and he did something several months ago and i kind of like said okay i'm not going to label him a bad guy but i am going to watch him in his if there's a pattern of behavior that i'm i'm not going to deal with this individual in the future i just i can't i can't be around it um i said i need to make a determination if this is a one-time incidental type of issue or if this is a pattern and as of recent um we all went on on vacation and he he repeated the behavior and I said oh this is a character and moral issue this is not a small little incident that could be hashed out with a conversation this person is set in their ways they're up in age they're close to 40 years old so they definitely know right from wrong this is their character and me confronting them could be potentially very destructive because when someone is set in their ways and no one has ever corrected them or checked them ever and you try to make an attempt and he got mad he was like you know you could have said something you know well at the time I didn't know I didn't know you know I wouldn't you know he was like you know I feel like you used me because I you know I hosted you you stayed in my house well sir you're jumping the gun being impulsive I didn't find out any of this until after I stayed at your house we traveled to another state and the incident happened in in that state it didn't happen at in his house or in his hometown so he jumped the gun and like he thought that I had ill feelings towards him while I was staying with him and then he threw in my face um well I feel you know I feel hurt because I feel like you used me because I hosted you in my house and I helped you with everything and I you know I feel like you used me I don't I don't have to use anybody I don't have to use I have friends in Atlanta I actually introduced him to a friend of mine and she told him she told me in his face girl you could have called me okay so I you know he sent me an email because I you know I cut him off and I will not tell him why I know the reason why but I know it's pointless to confront him or or it's not it's gonna it's gonna be so nasty and I know me and um I got a nasty mouth and I just I when I see something I can't unsee it I don't want to be around it I don't you know I will never bash him or talk down on him and if he wants to stay friends with all our other friends that's fine with me he's not for me his mask slipped I saw it and I want to get away from him I can't be around him anymore but he sent me an email and that email was loaded with passive aggressiveness he went into victim mode he went into victim mode and and and you know I can't you know I can't apologize because I don't know what I did who the **** asked you for an apology who said I want an apology I haven't said two words about what I haven't discussed or revealed anything and you're jumping the gun grasping for straws simmer down he should have he should have worded his email from a very mature standpoint which he did not it was childish and it was emotional it was passive-aggressive and he did some gaslighting and that email really confirmed to me that me cutting him off was the very the right decision had he done this uh approach more maturely he should have said you know what i don't know where we went wrong uh you know if i've done something i definitely want to get to the bottom of it and clear this up our friendship means a lot to me you know i'ma back off and respect your boundaries and give you some space when you're ready to talk i'm here that's it you don't gotta go all overboard and oh i feel used i host you don't why are you throwing in my face what you did for me and how you helped me and this and that my the ---- that i do for people is about god it's about domestic violence survivors it's about you know black femicide it's a greater cause it's bigger than me neither you're doing it from your heart and you're genuine or you get the **** on you i don't want you around me i want i only want authentic people around me so he he really exposed his character and that email which sealed the deal and confirmed to me i made the right decision so i say all this to say y'all um when they're guilty of something anything and and uh they don't know how to be mature because they're not they're not mature They're not there. You got to remember their children trapped in adult bodies. Their responses to, you know, mature conversations are always going to be childish and you cannot feed into it. The first sign is if they play the victim mindset. And the second sign is the passive aggressiveness. And the third sign is the gaslighting. He did all three components in one email. I picked it apart. Oh, no. Oh, no. He's not going to bait me. I'm going to shut this down. god bless him my decision is final he's toxic and i don't want to be around him um but those are the three signs okay if you really want to reveal narcissistic behavior whether they're full-blown narcissists or they're just you know they have heavy narcissistic traits when when when they know that you don't want to be bothered with them and they're feeling guilty they're going to go into victim mode they're going to gaslight they're going to throw the passive aggressiveness around and they're going to be victims they're going to have this victim mindset you can't resolve anything with someone uh coming at you like that so you know but anyway let me get to the airport y'all Detroit Michigan I'll see y'all tomorrow is on and popping we're gonna we're gonna do it up I'll be in Detroit to party a couple of days I'm gonna chill out in Detroit I'll see you guys thank you again Chicago I had an amazing time I love you guys so much I gotta wash this face off and get it beat all over again love y'all