THEY ARE NEVER LOOKING TO LOVE YOU, THEY ARE LOOKING TO CONTROL YOU.

Sunday. We are back. How's everybody doing? What up, family? I see y'all checking in. Jennifer and Kayla, how you doing? Zara Yaquap Lorenzo, how you doing? Says live in the house. What's up? Elisa Williams. Hello, beautiful. How you doing today? So happy to see you guys here with me on another live. I hope y'all had a fantastic week. Ready to start a new week. I hope my thrivers are doing good bring those pink cups back you talking about these you talking about these or okay i got you i got you i'm bringing them back i got you i got a lot of new merchandise coming out this winter so y'all stay tuned and um be on the lookout for new merchandise that's dropping all winter i'm doing some giveaways next month for christmas So I'm excited to give some free Mommy So True merchandise around Christmas time. So hopefully you guys can catch me while I do that. For my lovely subscribers, my members, all those of you who show the love and support. You know, we're celebrating one year, Mommy So True on YouTube. And I'm thrilled for where life is going. And I'm not going to lie. A lot of times I'm completely overwhelmed. by what's happening in my life because I never expected it and I'm I'm not gonna lie I'm I'm still I'm still trying to like process it and I am trying to accept my new life because I'm literally walking into a new life y'all and I'm so grateful God is good and I think my supporters my day oneers my love my loved ones here you guys are my family you guys have become my family Um, I, I mean, seriously, I've met some amazing people through YouTube, Instagram, TikTok. You guys have become mothers, sisters, friends, brothers, man. I, I never expected this and God knows I'm truly humbled and blessed and grateful. And I have to give thanks to God and I have to give thanks to my supporters. Um, so that's where I'm coming from right now, but please, um, you know, stay tuned for Mommy So True merchandise. I have a lot of new cups. I have a lot of hats, a lot of hoodies, a lot of t-shirts, a lot of bags, a lot of nice accessories. And the whole goal is to build funding so that I can invest in Mommy So True Life Touch business, which is a business intended to give back to the community of narcissistic abused survivors. So I'm here for it, y'all. I'm ready. I'm ready to give back and love on the people. This is what I was born to do. It's way beyond what I went through. But here I am. Here I am. Through all the manipulation, through all the attempts to dominate and control me, I now know what the power of real love is. And I know that it lives inside of me. And I know that one of the biggest lies I've been told is the same lie you've been told. That's why today's title is what it is, that it is never, and it will never be about love. It would never be about loving you. It's never about looking into loving you. It will always be about controlling you. That's what it's been about. And that's what it will always be about. My biggest discovery on this journey as a survivor, my biggest discovery is understanding the power of I love you. Those three words, understanding the power of I love you, understanding that, okay, I was starved from those words as a child and it led for me to become an adult who heard it and melted at the sound of it. Somebody loves me. Oh my God, somebody loves me. But now I've discovered that the devil uses those three powerful words to attack, abuse, and control me and keep me stuck and bound because the devil never wanted me to discover the warrior inside of me. There you go. Kareem Mills, I see you put it in there. Warriors. Warriors. We are the most intimidating creatures walking on this planet. Most intimidating. They can't stand you. They couldn't stand you when you were being formed in your own mother's womb. You were hated. They didn't even know what you was going to look like, but they couldn't stand you. That's how strong and intimidating the thought of you is. So the only way to really try to destroy you, the only way to really confuse you, the only way to really blind you from seeing your own greatness is to lie to you. This person who truly exhibits love, you're a lover. To your core, you're a lover. So to hear I love you, it's a safe place. Many of us, we grew up in narcissistic homes where we never heard I love you from our parents, ever. Till this day, it's still difficult to hear them say that. So we spent our entire adult life settling for the adults who were confident enough, bold enough, courageous enough, wicked enough to throw those words in our face. To make us feel like they saw us, like they heard us. finally we met a partner and were admired finally somebody's validating finally I met someone who went through what I went through a lot of us thought that trauma bond meant that you know you fell in love with somebody who went through what you went through oh y'all both had a crazy childhood only to discover trauma bond just means that you were so tied to somebody who lied to you somebody who deceived you my goodness they are not looking to love you they are looking to control you. Everything about a narcissist is a lie. Everything about a narcissist is a lie. I see y'all checking in. What's up BJ Blackwatch Gaming? I'm so happy to see y'all checking in. We're talking about the fact that these people are never looking for love. They never were. They never will be. What they're looking for though is control and I want to talk about it a little bit more in detail with you guys today because like I've already mentioned to say I love you it's the biggest lie any narcissist can ever can ever give you this is the narcissistic parent spouse whoever if they are a narcissist that means number one they are not capable of loving so that is a lie for them to say that they love you it is a lie because you're saying you love me but I'm paying attention to how you're making me feel it doesn't add up you're saying you love me but your actions do not add up so how could you possibly love me you know when you become an awoken empath you start to translate what I love you means when a narcissist opens their mouth to say I love you you start to translate that into I want to abuse you actually I want to control you actually I want to maintain control over you actually I want to gaslight the reality and make you doubt what you're seeing and what you're feeling and continue to push things under the rug that's those dysfunctional narcissistic families oh let's just ignore it let's just act like it didn't happen matter of fact let's change how it happened let's change the narrative let's act like we don't remember what was actually said so that the scapegoat can feel crazy the scapegoat can feel wrong for being the one to stand up and see the truth to stand up and speak the truth to stand up and feel different. For a narcissist, I love you is every manipulative tactic, every manipulative tactic, form of control, every and any way that they can control you is I love you. Think about the narcissistic spouse and how the relationship started. Many of you did not marry a narcissist because you didn't think they loved you. You didn't stay in a relationship with them because you didn't think they loved you. They said things. They probably did things. They probably gave. We got narcissists that will give. They will pay for things. They will invest in you. They will help you achieve things, achieve goals. They might even help you get through school. But trust and believe they have their own agenda attached to that. While they were supporting you, they were waiting until the day that they would need you to support them to the extent where you would eventually quit your job or leave your business behind. Because as you stay with them, you learn and you feel and you see, it becomes more and more about them and less and less about you. Why? Because they were never looking to love you. They were looking to control you. Narcissists love bomb because they have to seal the deal. The only way you're going to be able to control me is to fool me into thinking you actually love me. It's to fool me into thinking you actually heard me when I was crying about my trauma. The only way you can actually really come into my world and abuse me is to highly manipulate me. Use everything that I don't know against me or use the things that I do know against me. Use all my weaknesses against me. All my past trauma. Yeah, use it against me. Manipulate me to make me feel like maybe you're the only one that will ever be able to handle me. You're the only one who can deal with them. The narcissist will make you feel like you have found your ultimate partner. They'll make you feel like you found your best friend. They'll make you feel like you have found that missing puzzle, that missing piece to the puzzle of your life. Maybe that was them. All through mirroring, pretending to be like you, to fool you and giving you this false narrative of I love you, knowing damn well they were coming into the situation ship with no with no real determination for commitment. they knew they weren't going to last in the relationship before you there were 10 other toxic dysfunctional relationships they knew they were just about to waste your time they also knew that they were dealing with a very unique individual and one thing about a narcissist the reason why they lie the reason why they have to love bomb you the reason why they're cowards they can't be up front with who they are when they first meet you the reason why they got to take you through all these toxic cycles is because they are intimidated by your light and they're completely jealous of it. They hate you for being you, even that parent of yours, completely jealous of you. Sometimes they don't even know why. They're just jealous because your life looks nothing like theirs. As much as they try to insult you, ridicule you, put you down, you're actually living a life that they could never live. You've actually achieved some goals that they could never accomplished. And they just cannot wrap their heads around the fact that you grew up to be this mighty warrior. How did you achieve these life goals? Before a narcissist met you, think about where you were at in life. So many of you were doing good for yourself. You were doing amazingly well for yourself. They hated that. They were intimidated by that, but they pretended to love it just to trap you in, just to pull you in, just to find ways to gain control over you. Nothing about the beginning of the relationship was ever realistic and that's why you felt the way you felt at the end of it because it all blew up, it all blew up when I love you started to become very obvious what "I love you" really meant. It all blew up when you realized everything they were giving was a form of manipulating you into getting into the relationship and being more and more trapped because eventually they weren't giving anymore. Now they're completely selfish. Now there's this game of who can beat who to what. Some things that you never expected. You never expected to fall in love with the clown that you discovered you fell in love with, but this is who they are. Being who you are. See, I always say this because this is the most factual thing any survivor, any thriver, any empath, chosen one, whatever you want to call yourself. Being who you are. A narcissist can only fool you for so long. I am so sorry. After a while, I love you does not sound, how it sounded when we were being love-bombed. After a while, "I love you" speaks volumes. It says exactly what it needs to say to an empath, especially in an awoken empath. Because in the beginning, you kept saying I love you, but I never felt it. I never saw it. Matter of fact, you would say it but you would never show it and so being the being that I am, I started to wake up and now hearing "I love you" is different, okay? I love you, what does that mean coming from you? it means I love how hard you work to make me feel like you're everything. I love how hard this is, the narcissist translating what "I love you" means because it's never been about "I love you", it's been about, I want to be able to control you. I love how hard you're willing to work. You, the empath, they love how hard you are willing to work to make sure you are everything for them because you are. You typically are. You typically are. You're the one who's willing to break your back, to work on yourself, to do whatever you can do to keep the house happy, to keep peace, even if it means neglecting you. "I love you" as them confirming I love watching how focused you are on me and not on you I love that you want me to be happy, I love that you're willing to neglect your own happiness to make sure that I am happy as an awoken empath, I love you from a narcissist it's simply I love the power I have to take advantage of your kindness, of your intentions to be nice to me. That's that narcissistic parent. I love, I love the fact that I can take advantage of your kindness and your intentions to be nice to me. The pleasure that you have in treating me good. I love to see that. It makes me feel good to watch you compare yourself to others. I love to see that. I love to see how you're taking every opportunity to make yourself look small in front of me, to make me feel big. I love that. Oh, the next time you hear a narcissist say, I love you, let this be the translation of what you're hearing because it's never about loving you. It would never be. It would never be that. It can't. You're dealing with somebody who just cannot give you that. There's no way. They can't give themselves that. How can they give you that? There is no real I love you, it's more so I love the feeling it gives me thinking of you as a weak and vulnerable emotional fluffy puppet I love looking down on you because you're so innocent and gullible and I see that as a weakness. I love that, oh I love that, oh give me more of that please because that's that's narcissistic supply for the narcissist to be the weak one to keep taking them back, to keep ignoring that they really are the problem, to keep accepting that it's your fault. That's what they love. To keep overlooking their bad character. That's what they love. It's not about closeness and empathy and emotional connection with you. No. It's not about what they did that hurt and embarrassed you. No. It's not about the little time that they spent with you and those children. No. No, it's not. It's not about the times that they abandoned you and left you hanging, the times that they ruined your birthdays, all the holidays that they've ruined intentionally because it wasn't about them. It's not about none of that. It's about their status and doing their job to keep you in your place. It's about being able to check you, keep you in your place, keep you in pain, keep you focused on feeling pain. That's what it's about. It's about blocking you from feeling valued. That's what it's about. It's about continuing to remind you of how superior they are over you. That's what I love you means. That's what I love you means. If you've ever dealt with hoovers, now all of a sudden you love me. Man, forget a hoover. If you're in a relationship with a narcissist right now trying to get out of it and they know you want out, you're probably dealing with somebody who is begging and pleading all the fake sorries, the heavy crying, the tears, when they start to lose control over the partner that they never thought they would lose, that primary supply, they start to lose their shits. Now it's these fake apologies. Now as I'm going to therapy, now as I had a dream about Jesus, Jesus came and visited me himself. The need to plead for you to stay is not because they love you. It's because they are losing control and they are going to miss having access to you. They're going to miss having access to those kids that they claim to love. Because someone who loves their children and loves their family would not abandon their family the way that this person has. They would not be selfish the way this person has been. Where is the love? When you look at the relationships of empaths and narcissists, where is the love? It's very hard to see. It's very hard to detect it because it doesn't exist. If anything, the empath is sitting there trying to love somebody who's not reciprocating it, who is not even looking at it, paying attention to it, could care less about it. There is no love. Because I love you means I love the way I feel when I am with you due to how often I hate and look down on others in general. Because you loving them makes them look good in front of other people. You loving them and defending them is protecting their image that's all they care about so many people are are with a narcissistic spouse and they don't even know that they're doing it but they're always defending them they're always defending them don't even know you're defending them when you're defending them this is what they love I love you because you're willing to defend my ugliness you're willing to defend me in front of the kids you're willing to defend me in front of the in-laws you're willing to protect my image because you don't want nobody to know how embarrassing it is to be married to me or to be with me. The biggest lie narcissists could ever tell you is that they love you. It's a lie, especially when the relationship has ended. You didn't love me for 30 years. What do you love now? You gotta know it's a lie at that point because it's never been about loving you. This is a narcissist. It's never been about that. It's always been about dominance and control. How can I make sure that this person is broken enough to never be able to pick themselves back up after dealing with me? How can I make sure that they will never need anybody else? That's why they tell you things like ain't nobody else ever going to want you. You leave me. Don't nobody want you. Nobody's going to deal with you like I did. Nobody's going to love you like I do. You think the next person is going to love you more than me? They want you to believe that your worth is little to nothing and that they are all you are worth that's why they beat you down and tear down your self-esteem that's why it's hard to leave these relationships because they're not loving you they're doing everything they can do to control you and if they can control you they can keep you stuck with them because to control you is to make them fully dependent on you I love you is I am tearing you down completely. I'm ripping you apart. I am breaking you down little by little. I am destroying everything that is you. That is what it means when they say I love you. I love you means please stay around and allow me to keep tearing you apart. Stay around and allow me to keep playing with your emotions. Let it be good one day and then let it be hell next month. Let me show you a little bit of love, just enough love to keep you right there. Let me matter of fact, let me go ahead and strip you of everything financially so you can never leave me. I love you means I'm gonna make sure that you can never go anywhere because I want to control you forever. That's why by the end of the marriage, by the time you look up, by the time you start waking up to what's happening in this relationship, you notice now you don't have nothing in your name. They have control of all the finances. How the hell did it happen? It's because this is all about control. It's been so strategic and methodologically planned that you didn't even see it coming. You woke up and it's been 10, 20 years and you don't even have access to your bank account without asking for permission because they now have full control over you. It's never been about loving you. It's been about having full control, full access over everything that you should have access to so that it could never be an easy escape, so that it can never be an easy healing journey for you, so that you can never wake up and say, you know what? I love myself enough to walk away from this situation because it's not for me. This is toxic. It's killing me. It's destroying me. Actually, I know you don't love me. You don't. When you're in a relationship with a narcissist, it can be so hard to, it can be so hard to doubt that they don't love you because of all of the things that they put and push onto you. They done told you all these stories about their own upbringing, about their trauma and how they've been done wrong and done dirty, they done, they done showed you how life has been tough and you're this empathetic person, you know you're soaking up, you're soaking it all in, you want to help people so bad, you hear these stories, you fall in love because you felt bad, that's, that's for me that's most, the most, most of the time an empath falls in love because they felt bad for the narcissist I felt bad for you because you, you lied, like you literally lied and made yourself seem like a victim and I felt sorry for you and I also gave and gave and gave because you were always lying and I always felt sorry for you and so now when you wake up and become their biggest nightmare can't nobody be mad but them because like I said in the beginning, just because you fell in love doesn't mean you were stupid, eventually you started to realize this is not being reciprocated, where is the love at? I'm not feeling it, I'm not seeing it, it's just, it, it's not making sense, where's love at? there's no way this person loves me so now you on YouTube, you have discovered what the word narcissist means, now you're like damn I was right, they don't love me they're, they're sick, they're actually possessed, there's no way they love me now I actually have the courage to leave because I done found out why I haven't been loved all these years I done found out why this person could never open their mouth and actually say they love me I done found out why they couldn't say they loved me until I was packing up and leaving They pretended they loved me as soon as I say I'm leaving Now you changing. Now you a new man. Now you a better woman. You are a master manipulator. That's why love in this situationship just does not, it don't match. It would never it'll never go together because it's never been about loving you. And it would never be about that They are narcissists. And what it's about is it's about control. It's about controlling anyone who is willing to allow them to control. And if that person at any moment rises up and say, no, you're not going to control me no more. I'm going to stand up for myself. Now you're a bitch. Now you're the worst person in the world. Now you're a horrible mother. Now you're a horrible father. Now your name is getting smeared and everybody must hate you because you have decided to no longer be controlled. You have decided to no no longer sit in this fake relationship, this fake marriage. You're no longer pretending to be a happy family because that's not what it is. You don't want no parts of this fakeness. So now you're the bad guy because you've translated what love really means. Because for narcissists to say I love you, they're really saying I love that I can make you feel insecure at the drop of a hat. I love that I can make you second guess yourself. I love that I can make you feel low about yourself. I love that I make you feel ugly. I love that I make you feel fat and unhealthy because looking at yourself, it's a reminder that no man is ever going to want you. Nobody else is going to want you. Look at you. You done been with me so long. You don't even look the same. That's what I love you means. I love you. I love you, especially when you're giving me attention or better yet, I love you, especially because I'm getting attention from other people. The power that the narcissist gets to put on a display for other people because they can hide you. They've never shown you off to people and that makes them feel good. They can come home and tell you they love you but they can't take you out in public. So I love you means I love you because you're allowing me to hide you. You're allowing me to keep you stored up in a cage like a dog, like a pet and I love you for that because you if you you that same spouse if you start to change the narrative start to hit up the gym start to shed that weight start to live your best life and become your most beautiful self you won't hear I love you no more they're gonna start hating you because now they have lost grip they've lost control you're not eating anymore so they're not controlling you you're not stress eating oh my gosh you're not stress eating you're losing weight you're looking good, wow. So now they're pissed off because they're not controlling you. You're not sitting around looking like a desperate, sad, depressed, lonely dog anymore. The power of taking your power back from these people, man, it's beautiful. It's beautiful because they don't appreciate you. It's not about loving you. It's about controlling you to your destruction. If a narcissist is sitting somewhere trying to convince you that they love you, I'm telling you right now today, it's a lie. Every time they say, I love you, they're inviting you to allow them to be your master. Every time they say, I love you and you accept it and you fall for it, they're excited to find new ways to thoroughly control you some more. That's why the damage gets worse the more you stay. The more you stay, the worse it becomes because it's never been about loving you and it will never be about that. It will always be about destroying you and crushing you, killing you if they can. Make you completely erase every single part of yourself. Lose yourself. Forget yourself. Be disgusted with your own self so you could fit in that same category that they're in. That category of losers. Losers. They want you to fit right there with them. They want you to be on that same losing category with them. That's why you don't fall for I love you's. It's a big lie. This is the devil's biggest lie. Nobody knows love like you do. So thoroughly examine it. They saying they love you, thoroughly examine it. Do you feel it? Does it feel like love? Is it really love? Is love being talked to like a dog? Is love being spoken to on their terms? Is love being told how you're not good at almost everything. It's love competition because they're competing with you for everything. Love has nothing to do with jealousy, but they're severely jealous. So jealous that sometimes you can't even love on your children the way you want because that narcissistic spouse is so jealous, so competitive, so wicked, paying attention to everything that's none of their damn business just to make sure that it can come back and hurt you in some kind the way. That's all it's about. It's only about you if it's about hurting you. That's the only time it's about you. Other than that, it's about them and everything that you're giving to them. That's not always just about you giving money and sex. It's about you allowing them to be a narcissist. That's what they love because they need you to blind your eye to what they're actually doing to you. They need you to make it okay because it's only a problem because you're making it a problem it's only a problem because you're saying something about it but really it shouldn't be a problem because they've been like this all their life I love you the greatest way to get you back every time you threaten to leave a narcissist I love you I need you to love me I need you to be my peace I've heard people say that I want you to love me you've got it all wrong gaslighting me I didn't I didn't say it like that I didn't mean it like that I need you to be my number one this is all manipulation tactics all manipulative language they're liars they only love how they can control you and everybody in the in in their life and they're only really happy when they're when they're when they're getting what they want when everybody is allowing them to control and be their most wicked they're probably happy that's probably the only time you may see a narcissist somewhat happy when everybody is miserable and under their control everybody is broke everybody is asking for permission through them you gotta you gotta beg them for a dollar I mean everyone is walking on eggshells in the house I mean some some some narcissistic families man you can't even the tension in the homes are so so strong because the narcissistic parent wants validation from everybody the love has to be given to the the parent that narcissistic parent it's not given to nobody else in the house that mom has to get praises from everybody these people are just man awful and as a survivor to finally see through them to finally see that they do not care about loving no matter what type of a person you are they don't care i don't care how much you go to church i don't care how much money you have i don't care how much you think you can pray they don't care I don't care what type of supply you think you have to offer you could be the best the baddest the most highly qualified the most intelligent human being on this earth you can give your all from top to bottom that does not mean anything for a narcissist because it's never been about loving you they can care less about that it's never been about loving you or being loved. They don't want that. They want control. They want you to be able to feed this false sense of self that they are hiding behind. They want for you to fall for the person that is in front of the mask. They want you to cherish them and love them until you die because you're going to die loving them. That's why they love to compare you with their grandma. You remind me of my grandmother. You remind me of my mother. You remind me of my dad. You're just looking for a mom. You're just looking for a grandma. You're not looking for a spouse. You can't love me because in your eyes I'm just a reminder of a mother or a grandmother who didn't love you properly. So you don't love me. Your definition of love is distorted from this grandmother and this mother that I remind you of. You still can't seem to love me like this grandmother and this mother that I remind you of so that says a lot your definition of love is is is disgustingly toxic and and for me once that's programmed in my mind I can't help but to pack up and run away walk away come up with a plan and get away I mean what what how much more clear does it need to be when somebody is showing you that they don't love you for me I became an awoken empath because I take I love you serious because I am a real lover and I immediately became awoke when I noticed that I was dealing with somebody who uses I love you as a joke and as a tool I had to start paying attention to what it really meant every time I heard those words come out of that demon's mouth I'm like wait you mean you love to isolate me from other people who nourish me that's what you love because that's what you were doing you don't love me you love to make sure that I'm broken away from the people that I actually need the most. That's why when you met them, you had 10 friends. By the end of the relationship, there were zero. They got rid of all your friends so they can control you. Yeah, you love me, all right? You love the fact that I've made you the drug of my choice. I've become addicted to you. I think the narcissist enjoys watching us be trauma bonded to them. They love it because to spit on you to kick you to beat you while you're down and then to hear you the victim turn around and still say you love me you want me back home you want you want us to fix our marriage oh I'm pretty sure they love that they love to see how trauma bonded you are to them they love to see that instead of running away you're still trying to keep the relationship going because you think you love them and you think that they somehow love you for me I was able to dissolve a trauma bond quickly when I realized that all of this was a game. This is not the easiest thing for everybody but I'm just putting it out there because it should be easy to walk away from a narcissist knowing that they never loved you and that they're incapable of loving you once you realize that they were a joke. That you are a joke to them and you've been that. That you'll always be that. It should not be hard to treat them like they're dead. They took your love for granted. That's something you should never forget because your love is pure and it is real. I love you is powerful. And for a narcissistic demon to not understand how powerful those words are and to try to use it to weaponize you, they need to suffer. By suffering, I mean they need to never hear from you again. This is when you translate I love you into I'm cutting you off. I am walking away. I am leaving and I am never turning back because you are an embarrassment. You fooled me but I know that that's because you're just a fool. You've tricked me. You've isolated me. You've caused so much pain to the point where physically I don't even look the same. I don't even want to look in the mirror because of you. For me, I'm the type of empath where I gain strength from knowing that's the reality. The reality is you tried to make me ugly when I'm not the reality is you never loved me I loved you even though I should have never loved you because you're the ugly one you are the ugly duckling here my feelings are hurt and for me when my feelings are hurt because I got played by somebody who didn't even deserve my time to begin with oh it's going to be easy to walk away it's going to be easy to act like I never knew you I thought I loved you but I realized I loved a fake so I gotta let that go and move on with my life