The Return Of Brandon!!!! | Matt Rife Crowd Work

Wait, Brandon from last year's show? No f***ing way! What?! No way! And you're still faking it! Unbelievable! Dude! Okay, for anybody... And you got one of my shirts on? Aw, I appreciate that, dude. Sign it. Ah, f***. I'll sign it, then I gotta get back to the thing, okay? Hold on. Bring it here. That's great. Alright, so... So, for anybody who wasn't at last year's show, I met Brandon, who was sitting, I think, around the same area of the show, and I noticed he had, you know, something. And, uh... What's up, man? Good to see you, buddy. And we saw the wheel... I think he had a wheelchair, and I was like, oh, so like, you know, how long you been in the chair or whatever? And then he stood up. Rushed the stage, might I add. And it was a whole... We thought we all witnessed a miracle, but it was just an insurance fraud. Do we have a marker? I can keep this? Shut up! Balls Deep Baseball Team. We don't stop at third base. Oh, my God. Where'd you get this? At the Halloween store. This is a Halloween... Oh, I thought this was a real team. You ever play baseball at all, Brandon? Nah, I'm not missing nothing, man. It's not even America's past. Thank you so much, man. That's f***ing sick. I'm his best friend? Oh, I would've texted you more. What's this for? You want me to sign the cards? No, the cards for me as well. You want me to sign the jacket for you? Got it. If I see this on Facebook Marketplace in an hour, I swear to God. There you go, buddy. Brandon, good to see you, buddy. No f***ing way. We loved your show. Thank you, Sonya Hall and Brandon... Foyle? Fail. Fail. His last name's Fail? No, who am I to judge? God? That's who failed. No, that's f***ing awesome. Thank you so much, Brandon. Good to see you again. You are very welcome. That's crazy. I saw the wheelchair and I was like, no way. I guess Ben only has one cripple. And he's f***ing milking it. That's crazy. Good to see you, man. Remind me, Brandon, what was the condition again? Traumatic brain injury. And what had happened where the injury happened? He was vaccinated. This was recently? Two months old. Oh, I thought you meant COVID. And I was like, whoosh. The Delta variant killed his dad. This is getting so much sadder than I thought it was going to. I apologize. I wouldn't have brought it up. My apologies. But dads are f***ing overrated. You know what I mean? My dad's been so dead for so long, I wouldn't even worry about it. Good to see you, man. I appreciate the outfit. That's f***ing awesome. I know it was a nice thing to do, but I just got that f***ing jacket. I got so many compliments from my friends backstage. They're like, tonight's outfit's f***ing fire. And I was like, ha. I had it for f***ing 11 minutes. You're what? I'm your sister's hall pass? Well, listen. I'm down, but you gotta f*** Brandon first. That's very flattering. Thank you. I'd give you my jacket, but... What's that? You'll get it from Brandon tonight. Good luck taking it off of him. Looks like a two-person job. No, you calm down, all right? We have one? Okay, thank you very much. Brandon, you want one? Wait, how old is Brandon? Brandon, you really 21? You swear? Do you want a drink? I swear. If you're not 21, I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble. I'll give him a full drink. That's fine. It's very full. Don't let him carry this. It's very full. Brandon, hold on a second. Let me just... For his dad. That's for you. You can finish that one, okay? Cheers. Brandon, love you. Stay black, all right? Relax. Don't drink too much of it now, okay? I may have just killed him. Brandon, sit down. Where are you going? What? You're f***ing drunk, dude. You are f***ing hammered, man. It fixes him. He gets up and goes... That was f***ing weird. Brandon, do you have a dog? You have two dogs? Look at that s***. What are their names? Callie. For his 16th birthday? Who wants a car? And he had a tramp? For what? A tramp for... For his 18th birthday. For reading? Breeding? You're making Brandon f*** this dog? What kind of dog was the tramp? Callie was his 16th birthday. We got that part. What was the next dog? What was the tramp? Or was Callie the tramp? Brandon, you are not the most retarded person in your family. Let him speak for himself. I feel like we'll get this out a lot quicker. Holy s***. Wheelchair? What up, man? You look behind you like there was anybody else in a wheelchair. All right. What's your name, dude? What is it? Ben? Ben. Nice to meet you. No? Are you here with anybody? They're gone? Oh, they went to the bathroom. You just left them here? You put his parking brake on and just left? Unbelievable. Brandon. Brandon, nice to meet you. Good to see you, dog. They were watching you? They weren't. I started the whole conversation. I said, what's your name? And he said something in cursive. And then I said, Ben? And that whole row went... F*** him. Brandon, how old are you? 19? Good kid. You're a stay-at-home mom? What's the baby's name? What is it? Henderson? Is he 77 years old? That baby's gonna have a hard time. That baby's gonna get bullied by Brandon. What's up, retard? Be nice, Brandon. Does your shirt say Gypsy Rose Blanchard saved my life? Do you know her personally? Your mom has munch houses. Oh, that means you try to keep somebody sick so that you can take care of them. Oh. Okay. Well, you're no longer the worst mom of the show. Just kidding. I'm kidding. We'd be pretty f***ed up if we found out she has munch houses syndrome. And I'm like, hey, Brandon, just come here for a second. And he's like, what the f***? What? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You're a dope mom. I know. Brandon, careful. What? Great to meet you, brother. You little faker. Oh, no way. Were tickets sold out? What a badass. Mom, nice to meet you, by the way. What is your name? Sonya. Nice to meet you. Security. Fire, by the way. He rushed the stage in slow motion. So fired. What a badass, man. Oh. Shout out, Brandon. I'm not 100% sure we didn't witness a miracle tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Laughter is the best medicine, and, uh, it might have healed some souls. That was f***ing crazy. As soon as I saw him, like, start to, I was like, no. The insurance claim is gonna be so expensive. Laughter. And this f***ing guy was like, yeah. Laughter. Unbelievable. There's no jokes I've written that's gonna be crazier than that, by the way. Oh, my God. Asshole. Laughter. You gotta follow that. Is that another wheelchair right there? No f***ing way. Why aren't your seats as good? What is your name? Cindy. Nice to meet you, Cindy. Brandon. Cindy's awfully cute. I'm not forcing a situation, but if you guys wanted to get into a little fender bender later, I don't think anybody would blame. Nobody would point any fingers. Laughter.