A LIFE UPDATE: I have absolutely no idea how I’m doing all this | Suzie Bonaldi

Good morning! Welcome back to a new vlog. Please excuse the sandcastle bucket in the back of my car. At least it's pink. It offends me less than the orange one that we have. Anyway, good morning! Welcome back to a new vlog. I have just finished up at the gym, if that wasn't glaringly obvious. I'm feeling really good this week. I feel like I've really hit like a very good point in my fitness journey, which I'm really happy about. I mentioned in my last vlog that I was trying to like go through my ovulation phase without burning out and I did that really successfully, but it did mean that I didn't actually push myself as hard as I would normally like to. Now I feel slightly overwhelmed because I didn't get as much done as I normally would. So the catch 22 of not burning out is in fact that you don't get as much done. I'm not sure how to rectify that. It didn't help that I did have show one of Ariana Grande last week, which I didn't take you guys with me in the end because I actually realized that I'm doing it this Thursday with Vic and Amelia, which is so fun. But yeah, a lot going on at the moment. I'm actually juggling a lot of things, you guys. Brand projects, book club, Depop, secret collab coming, which I'm not meant to tell you about, but I'm actually just going to tell you straight up that I've got a little thing coming out, which I'm really excited about, which we are just actually finalizing packaging for, which is so fun. I love packaging. Like we're currently arguing about whether something looks like the something it's supposed to look like or a mushroom. And it's just so fun. I love stuff like this. And we actually are looking at doing two events. One little intimate influencer event, small and intimate because my social anxiety will be through the roof that week. And then we're going to do a community event. I'm going to let you know to save how much money I can't for October. If you want to know in advance and you want to budget for whatever the secret collab is that's coming, just letting you know there's something roughly ballpark figure that much coming at the end of October. And I'm sorry, I can't tell you what it is, but there will be a community event coming, which is going to be so fun because I haven't done anything with you guys in such a long time. So yeah, I'm very excited for that. Excited, nervous, all of the above, but I'm just letting you guys know, but it feels so, I feel so like naughty because I actually, I genuinely have not told anyone that I'm telling you guys this, but I just was like, do you know what? What I don't want to do, I hate it when brands do this is they, I've done it before with a very big clothing brand and they wouldn't let me announce my meetup until 24 hours before the meetup because they didn't want too many people to come. But the issue was that there was like so few people and it was so awkward, but yeah, like I hate when I'm given like five minutes to give people notice on an event. We're looking at the 10th slash 11th of November in London. However, it could change based on the availability because we've got a specific thing. This ain't just a little like, I don't know, meet and greets. It's like, it's an actual, you can come along and there is like a thing, not an activity, you know, I don't like organized fun, but there is, we're looking to do something. And yeah, if you want to come along that those are the dates we're kind of roughly looking at. So if you are like outside of London or just like to know in advance, like your social calendar, just letting you know, that's, that's the vibe. So yeah, currently working on that. And then I have my other, let's call it a personal project, but it's a work thing, but it's a personal project, a non-influencer thing that I am doing. I am getting back into doing nails and I feel really, like, I don't know, really weird talking about it because I kind of just wanted to like get on with it, but I feel like I can't get on with it until like, I've just, I'm, I feel like I need to talk about it in order to like jump because at the moment I feel like I'm kind of in limbo. I'm about to start doing it again, like properly in a shot. I feel like I'm, I'm not going to really commit to actually start talking about it because I feel like I'm leading a double life and like, I don't know. I feel like I need to just talk about it in the blog so that I'll actually feel comfortable. I don't know. There's something going on in my brain, you guys. I just need to jump in the deep end and do it. It's been making me really, really nervous. I don't know why. I feel like it's just such a big step. Basically started this obviously a couple of years ago and was fully ready to jump in at the deep end. And then I got engaged and then it was like wedding. And I basically was just like, I actually don't have time to do my job, wedding. And then I got pregnant and I was just like this. And it kind of, I knew as soon as we got engaged that that was kind of going to be the timeline roughly. So as soon as we got engaged, I was like, do you know what? I actually can't continue this. Like, I'm not going to have the time. I'm going to park this and I'm going to revisit this when Delilah is older. Delilah's going to be going to school soon. So it is my time to pick it back up. And I am really excited, but I've just been kind of like holding off and like, I haven't spoken about it on here and I've just kind of been figuring it out, how I want to do it, how I want to go back to it. Cause obviously I used to do it privately in my house and I can't do that now because I don't have a studio at home anymore. I gave that up. So yeah, basically I needed space to do it. And then I was like, do I go into a shop? Do I set up my own salon? Which I probably will do. I don't see the shop being like super, super long-term maybe unless I really love it. But it's obviously expensive to rent a seat from someone. Yeah, it's really expensive to rent a seat from people, especially if you want to go somewhere good. So I'm probably going to set up my own salon, but I just need to kind of like get my boots on the ground again first. I'm really nervous. Yeah, this is me just talking about it because I feel like some of you might be able to relate if you're like trying new things. And like, I don't know, I just feel like me and Ryan are both kind of at this point of like adding things on to our careers in this household. And we also are like trying to parent a toddler and it just feels like a lot at the moment. So yeah, that is what I'm up to. I'm basically juggling a lot of things and just feeling like I'm not really doing anything particularly well. Like I tried to bake Delilah like these, like really healthy cookies last night and it was just a disaster. And I was just like, do you know what? I don't think I'm this kind of mum. This is not the mum that I am unfortunately. And I always really wanted to be that mum, but I'm not that mum. So I think I need to like retire certain things in my life and just accept that. But anyway, let's, let's get out of here. This is my current read you guys, by the way, I'm absolutely loving this. I really don't know where we're going, but I'm enjoying the journey. 10 out of 10 so far for the journey. I'm very engrossed in this. These are the cookies that I made. I'm going to have a little taste test because obviously I've just really talked myself down, but actually maybe they're fine because I didn't taste test them last night, but they look so dead. Wow. Man. Sorry, Delilah. Wow. Maybe she'll like them. She doesn't know anything. She's never eaten a real cookie. She doesn't know. However, these are mine and Ryan's and we have eaten real cookies. They're not bad. I feel like the recipe should definitely have involved flour though, because they've been really nice and like fluffy potentially. The dates and the pumpkin seeds in this have helped him because it's giving the illusion of a chocolate chip. I wish they were fluffier, but they're decent. They would have been better as a ball, like a protein for Delilah because those are dire. Things on my list, get last week's vlog live. Didn't go live on Sunday, bad me. Went to upload it, realised we were only on draft two and we hadn't actually finalised it and I was like, oops. I also need to talk to Beth about the shop and how soon I can get in and get started. I'm at the point where like I really just need to like get my hands on some people's nails and it's so annoying. Like I really want to like practice, but like my friends are just like so busy. I'm just not getting enough practice. So like I really just need to like throw myself in at the deep end. I did my own nails. Oh my God. Right. So no one ever asked me for nail art because I will cry. And that's me giving the least dramatic version of what I want to say that I actually can't say online. I went for a deer print. I'll put pics of these. I feel like my pics are better. I broke this nail. I'm really sad about it. I basically, I went the day, just no, the day I did these, I woke up with a short nail and then gave myself a long nail. There is no acrylic going on here. There's no tip. Like I built these tips. I built these tips with my own bare hands. The tips are made out of fire. You just kind of like have a little sticker that goes underneath to keep the shape. They're not the best for my nail shape, but I make do. They work better if you've got a bigger nail bed, but yeah, you then like craft the rest of the nail out of fire and then file it kind of a bit more into shape. So yeah, now the claws are back and I'm, I've never been more happy about it, quite frankly, but yeah, I'm, I really love this hand. This was the hardest to do. Like my mum came in and tried talking to me whilst I was doing this. I messed it up and I genuinely wanted to scream, but I couldn't scream at her because I could only scream at myself because I was the one that messed it up. They're so pretty. I love them so much. I'm such a makeup girly. When I do these nails, there are so many tools that you could use. I actually use makeup brushes to blend my colours because that to me is just like the best way to do it. It's how I'm, that's how I'm like trained in my brain is through makeup. So yeah, those are my nails. Went for a different style on each finger, just on each hand, just to mix things up. I'm going to do tortoiseshell next. I'm going to do tortoiseshell next. I'm a bit scared, but yeah. So like this vibe, but like not black, like a brown. I feel like that's going to be so fun. Anyway, never ask me for nail art, please. I beg because unless you have a spare like six hours, I'm really not selling myself, but like just don't ask. I'm not a nail art, nail tech. I'm a real clean nail, nail girly. I'm getting better, a lot better at my French. My French is, that was actually quite sensational. I was really proud of that. I just need to be doing it because I know the more I'm doing it, I like, I'm so nervous at the moment. Cause I was saying to Ryan the other day, I was like, what if I'm not good enough? And he's like, look at what you have done. And I'm like, yeah, but it's just so different when you're doing other people's and like, I haven't done it for so long now, but I'm so nervous. Like obviously took a big, big break doing even my own after Delilah. I just need to get doing it because I know as soon as I'm doing it, like I'll just progress so quickly and I'll probably be doing nail art before you know it. And it will be like a breeze, but like I just having a true crisis of confidence, giving myself a pep talk, like I can do this. I can do this because I really want to do it. And like, Oh, I would love to have my own salon. I just need to start because I thought like, I thought I was going to talk about this dream forever, but never actually started. So we're all doing this together. We're going to go along on the journey together and hopefully everyone can be supportive of me because this is my safe space. So nobody wrote this for me, but anyway, I need to get some stuff sorted for that. I need to get my card reader back out. She's been away in a box for quite some time. I also need to try and fit in a hair wash. Mums, when are we doing this? Because I'm currently sandwiching it in on a nap time and I'm feeling like that's not like the most efficient time to do it. Who knows? You guys. Byron just tried one of my cookies and he was spouting back out. That's how bad they were. I just need you to know. Byron never spits stuff. I'm not going to be a baking mum. I'm just not. It's over for me. It's a good heart. Yeah. Is that a bit twisted though? I'm like, yeah, that's what I like. Hello everybody. We are on Aaron Agrando round two. I've got Queen here. I can't turn my head. So I'm just going to talk side on at you. Vic's having her, you having your makeup done? I am. What are you going to have done with your hair? The usual. And I, um, I'm going like this. We're done guys. We're done. Oh my gosh. Chris, it is a little bit. I know that will come loose in a second. We're thinning out the hair extensions because they're, they're a bit too thick. This is a rush job. This isn't, this isn't how it's meant to be. Okay. The moment of truth. Wait, actually, this is so good. It's so good. You've made my dreams come true. Look who's there. I'm obsessed with Susie's hair. You literally just came in for the big reveal. I want you to do this, you know. And then you know what I want you to do to me? I want you to just whack it in my face. Okay. Oh, that's what you like. Yeah, I want you to be like, oh, you know. I'm having a little bit of hand press. Yeah, love. Is this the anti, the serum? I love this serum. I love this serum. Oh, it's so good. Yeah, love. This is the best. This is one of my favourites. This hand is really bad. This hand had a fake tan accident. Yes, the best one. Best one. Yeah, my cuticles really needed this. Oh, yeah, please. Oh, that one, please. Yeah, yeah. Hair perfume. This is, I feel so pampered. Thank you so much. The cuticles are looking so much better. Wow, gorgeous. Thank you. Oh my God, so cute. I love, I love when you do new things with your hair. Wow, giving. Do we think I get rid of the necklace? Wait, just hold it up. I was just wearing this with my outfit earlier. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, just have a nice clean neck. Guys, I'm wearing my wedding corset. It did up in a twist of events, just about. Happy early. I've got the pony, which we're just trying to hide my real hair. I did myself dirty and dyed it a few weeks ago. Yeah, skirt is from Revolve. This is half penny. Shoes. Steve Madden. They're gorgeous. Love. They're actually very comfortable. Got this little bag from Amazon because it's a clear bag policy. And then this is what's on my lips. And it's unreal, basically, like matches my eyeshadow. And it's all like shimmery and yummy. Yeah, we are ready. It's a bit like, if you look too close, it's a bit rough around the edges. But no, you ate with that. I actually can suit you so much. I miss a shimmery eyeshadow. I can't lie. Like 2016 makeup needs to actually make a control comeback. I love the hair. I might just leave it in. I might just sleep in it. You see me tomorrow like this. I don't want to hear anything. Vicky looks so cute. Come back. Look at her. She looks so cute. It's like my wedding day. I'm getting flashbacks. What toothbrush is that? That's a really good toothbrush. Oral-B. It's really nice. It's not nice. It's stunning. Whip me with your pony tail. Oh my god. Amelia has requested. Was that on camera? She's requested she wants to be whipped. Yeah. I just want to like... You know when you were like standing there and someone just like... Yeah, hold on. Okay, ready? Yeah. Let me get my lip gloss back in it. Hold on. Oh, yeah. That's so funny. How interesting. I am not okay in the head. I requested that. No, no, no. That was exactly what I wanted. But I'm not well that I wanted that. I just wanted to be whipped with her. I think I have something loose in my brain. No, don't. But that was exactly what I wanted. Thank you. I'm thinking we don't do what we did last week where we cover me in highlighter. I've literally put this all over my body for the last week. Oh, yeah, I saw that. It was fun. But no. But I feel like... What about a collarbone stitch? Oh, yeah. And I also don't... I feel like I don't want to put it on my arms because I don't want to actually... Like, this is ruined by my fake tan, but I really don't want to... You get it in purple Tinder. Oh, do you ever get, like, collarbone weakness from where your bra, like, digs in on your collarbones? I get it on my back. Oh, no way. You can see a point on my collarbones as well where they kind of, like, dig in. And it makes my whole body shudder. Vile. I'm not sure what I think about this half up hair. I think it's really cute for tonight. Yeah. Do I think you should wear it every day? No. It's like... It's cute in, like, a baby doll. Yeah, kind of. It's cute in, like, an Ari goes to her concert vibe. It's for the concert and not for anything else. Okay. Just a tiny bit on the shoulders. How long do you think we have? A little bit. We probably need to go. You know, I'm sorry. And I also need to pee, so we're not really ready, but we should... We should be going. If I'm filming this tomorrow morning, just don't... Yeah, Suze is going to be here in her hair and makeup. Pick her wake up, I'll just be in bed, like... Can you imagine if I didn't come to a hotel? Like a runaway bride or something. Can you imagine if I just got the training up like this? Yeah. Thank goodness you have a hotel. You would be getting some looks. I'm going to get some looks walking through the O2. No, I don't think so. I've already seen people dressed up. Yes, to be fair, they do. Yeah. I've seen some girls dressed up already. There were three girls in the lift that had, like, bunny ears on. Oh. Yeah, we saw some bunny ears in the lobby. Dangerous woman vibes. So cute. I'm going to pee. We're going to go. We are on our way. Me and Amelia are ready to throw our stuff on the front row and then go drink. We're so close. I feel sick. Wow. Oh my god, this is the best. My phone zoom is not going to be working over time tonight like it was last week. I'm going to pee. The only time Victoria will queue. Guys, when I die, bury me like this. Why are you talking about dying so much? I did it the other day as well. I said to my mum, I was like, when I had Delilah, I was like, I would die for you like out of responsibility. But now it's like, I would die for you because you're just like the best thing on earth and I'm really obsessed with you. But now I'm really scared because I'm like, what if something ever happens? And like my soul, actually my body and my mum was like, why on earth are we having this conversation? However, I would like to be buried with a ponytail in this corset. Oh, I don't want to take your shoes off first, don't you? Like when am I ever going to wear these again? Oh, what a great t-shirt. It's a great t-shirt, isn't it? It's a great t-shirt, excuse me. My makeup gets all over the place. Yeah, Chloe was saying she's going to use her black one as her tanning t-shirt. Yeah, a really good tanning t-shirt. No, you got regular, I got orange. Oh, what? Yeah. Good night. Perfect. This is tight. Shall I have a go? Yeah. Shall I have a go? I'm so sad. Oh, it looks so cold. Where do we begin? I know, there's going to be a lot of pins here. I just hope I don't go bald. Did you ever tell people about your bald bit? No. Oh. Vic once had a ponytail so tight that it gave her a bald patch. Yeah. It's traumatized me to this day, to be honest. It took a while to grow back. It was so bad. I had anxiety when this ponytail was going in as a result. It literally took such a long time. At one point, I literally had a tuft, like a full-on tuft. Weirdly, that year, I think I ended up with like a random tuft, but it wasn't from the root. It was just like a random patch that like broke off. Wait, I'm a bit confused here. I can't work out. Chris! Chris, come back. It looks so good though, didn't it? I know. Like with the outfit, it's perfect. I'm so sad. I want to look like this every day. Shall I put it back in? I was tempted. I was like, but maybe if it doesn't hurt me, I could just sleep in it. No, I mean, honestly, the ponytail I had was... I can't even tell you, babe. It was probably twice as tight as this. Really? Honestly. Oh, gosh. Horrendous. It's probably my own fault because he was like, is it okay? And you said yes. And I was like, yeah, I think it's okay. Oh, gosh. And then like eight hours later. Yeah. That was why I said yes to Chris earlier and then I got reminded of it and I was like, Chris, maybe loosen it a little bit. Yeah, I mean, the fact that I had to, like, I had to, you know, take paracetamol. That's terrible. On set because my head was so sore. Oh, my God. That feels so good. Doesn't it? I feel like a whole weight. I feel like my body, my body has just like gone. Oh, my God. It's actually just giving me a shiver. You might need to thingy this. Like wet it. Yeah. Right. I need to take my makeup off now. Vic will be really pleased to know that I remembered my cleanser. Did you? Yes. However, I didn't show a flannel because my room had flannels, but I'm not seeing any flannels. And I'm not seeing any. It was so funny the week on that trip, though, when you came back three times. Oh, my gosh. I was dying watching that. And I'm so glad everybody loved it. The bit, though, that you can't hear that you could hear was when you knocked for the bottle for the second time, third time. I can hear, but you can't hear in the footage, Vic just going, is this a joke? You can hear her muttering, like snuffling as she's coming to the door. I love that people are like, you bring out the best in each other. And I was like, I'm not sure this is something that would constitute the best. This is my cleanser of choice. Skin and me. This moisturizer, I love. The Clinique Daily Calm Soothing Repair Cream. It's good if you've got sensitive blemishes, which is so nice. It goes on the skin and it's really smoothing as well, which is so nice if you're doing makeup in the morning. I think if you're just going to have one moisturizer, this is just so good. Oh, nice. What are you double cleansing with? Just this. We need to address from last week when you were like, where's the micellar water? Yeah. I don't use it. So you literally use this to take everything off and then you use it again for a clean palette. Yeah. Right. We don't need all this product we've been sold. So like, I like using an oil and then I use a gel to get rid of all the oil. Yeah, I use the same thing twice a week. I'm trying to encourage Victoria to think more positively. Yeah. Which feels very backwards for our dynamic. When did we roll reverse? You are always really positive, but I'm usually very, very positive and I've lost my positive vibes right now. We don't necessarily need them going outwardly. We just need to retrain your brain to like, not hyper fixate and catastrophize. Yeah. You know? Yeah, exactly. That's where we're struggling a little bit. It's very unlike me, isn't it? Yes, that is normally me. I'm so thirsty. Good thing someone brought in two giant bottles of water. I'm so glad that was such a good idea. Vic was like, no, we'll just drink the sparkling water. You know who wakes up in the middle of the night thirsty and thinks, a nice sparkling water. That'll hit the spot. What the hell is that? Like, what is life? Dealing with this flaccid towel. I love the word flaccid. Yes, I am on my third cleanse, if anyone's wondering. I know you've got glitter all over your face, and you're just like, I can't in good conscience go to bed without just having done a third cleanse. Yeah, fair enough. What time are we getting up tomorrow? My body normally wakes up about 6.15, so me and Delilah are in sync. 6.15? Yeah. Oh my god. I've been the lion since... What are we going to do then? I'm not getting up then. I'll sit in bed. Will you? Do you not mind? Babes, I don't know if you know, but us mothers don't get a lot of time to sit in bed. The opportunity to sit in bed is highly welcomed. You could read. I could read. You could read whilst I snooze. Like, 7.30, I'm happy to get up. That's what I tell Delilah every morning. Does she listen? 7.30. This morning it was 7.20, and I was like, oh, isn't it lush? And she was only just waking up, and I was like, we can string this out. She can play peekaboo with herself until, like, 7 o'clock. We're good. Does she do that? It's so cute. She's just learnt to do it, and she was, like, lying in her crutch going... Really? Just for herself? Yeah. She's learning all these funny little things, and it just, like, makes me so... She is. I actually find it so hard, like, she's so... I think she's so perfect that I just want to share her all the time, and then it's not my place to share her at this point in time when she kind of, like, is starting to look like herself, but I just want to be like, guys, look how beautiful my baby is. Yeah. So perfect. Yeah. She is just absolutely beautiful. You'll have to take my word for it. Yeah. She is, like, the most beautiful child in the world. She looks like a sunny angel. Yeah, she does. Oh, I've just sat down on a big wet thing. Oh my god, I've got a full wet ass cheek. Oh my god, it's literally... What's the upside from this? Positive spin. I'm cooler in bed? Yes. I've said to Vic for every negative thought that she thinks, she needs to think about the upside. What is this teaching me? How could... This could be worse. I've got a full wet cheek. Exactly, well done! At least it wasn't... At least you didn't, like, have a whole bottom wet. Well done. Hello. I come at you deep in my post-Eternal Sunshine Tour depression. I am also doubling up. I am working and vlogging at the same time, which is something that I rarely ever do. However, we have one of those to-do lists at the moment. Dire, dire. I feel like it's partly because I've actually been taking a lot of the parental load for about the last week. And it's just been, like, everything is now slowly stacking. And actually, my to-do list is really starting to build up. Whereas before, I was literally just getting by by the skin of my teeth. And now I'm actually just not. And I think it would be fine if nothing else got put on my workload. But actually, lots of other things. Basically, I've bitten off more than I can chew. Shock horror. That is very me. And I've done that at a time where I... When I actually have capacity to bite off more than I can chew. Just about. However, I then did not anticipate more things being thrown at me. Anyway, I am currently working on a second video. I'm doing some work for Clinique. I've made one video. I ended up offering to make them a second, didn't I? Because I love them. I just actually don't help myself. I've bitten off more than I can chew. And then I'm like, yeah, don't worry. I'll make you an extra video. So yeah, trying desperately to get that done. But we also have vintage parcels that must, must go out today. In the words of Rachel Green. We've got peeps to pay. We've got nail stuff to do. I need to somehow find time to go to the gym. By the way, it's not the morning. This is not the start of my working day. I've actually had Delilah all morning. Which I really, I don't, I don't like doing the mornings. Because my working day has already stacked. By the time I actually start work, it's literally like working from New York. And I hate, hate, hate when I have to go to New York and work from there. Because it's stressful. Because everyone else is already awake. In other news, I actually did do the most perfect nails I have ever, ever done the other day. So this is filling me with confidence after my complete crisis of confidence in myself. They are so perfect. So I want, my goal is to make everyone's nails look like this as much as feasibly possible. I've actually also been having a slight panic. Because I am now meant to be going next week. Oh my god, next week is, we're gonna have fun. Because I will actually be away from home and able to vlog. Fingers crossed consistently, consecutively. However, I have three days of London next week. Which is actually stressing me slightly. And one of them, I am apparently meant to be going to the NTAs. Why did I sign myself up to that? My manager was like, do you want to go? And I was like, well, I'm free. And now I'm going. However, I actually need to get myself a dress. I have tried something on that I already own. And haven't like properly, oh that's a nice dress. And haven't properly worn yet. Like I wore it on the morning of my UK wedding. And it does need no alterations. However, it is, if I bloat on the day. Like in the morning I'll look great in it. But if I bloat on the day, by 5pm it might be giving second baby reveal. Which is obviously not ever going to happen. So yeah, I'm a bit nervous about wearing it. So I'm like, do I find a backup? So this is my other thing that I've got going on. A lot on the to-do list. A lot of people to pay. A lot of admin that I have actually been putting off some things for an unreasonable amount of time now. Like my accountant, I think is ready to throw in the towel with me. It's also Delilah's settling week for nursery. So yeah, just so much. So much going on. Anyway, whilst talking to her about my long to-do list. And at risk of my manager calling me when she sees this. To tell me off for putting that Clinique video down. And doing something that is not in the video. I am going to unbox some things that I've bought. Obmuse launched their autumn collection. And I'm a sucker for Obmuse. And especially like over the last year. I haven't been able to wear much from them. Because their clothes are all about the waist. And I have had very little waist going on. However, the one thing I did wear the heck out of. Was the cream print cardigan last year. In November, if you remember. And this year they've launched it in this beautiful sagey colour. Like, oh. I don't know what colour this is going to come off on camera. Because the cameras notoriously don't pick up any kind of khaki green. So it might just show up fully as like a beige trench coat colour. I don't know. It's a cropped version. They're doing a long and a cropped. The long looks far too long for my lack of long. And I just know I'm going to wear this so much. They're also so thick. So if you live in a warm part of the UK. This works in place of a coat. I would say roughly up until about Christmas. But yeah, I wore mine last year a lot. Up until Christmas down in the south. It's fairly mild. And then it's only January, February, March. Where you're like. What is happening? Beautiful. Can't wait to try that on. What size did I get? I feel like my last one was a medium. No my. Because they do extra small to small. And then MLM to L. So I can't have. I must have got an XS to S last year. Anyway. XS to S. Gorch. Can't wait. I'll try that on. Or you'll see it in the vlog. Oops. At some point. This is also new by the way. I was getting a lot of questions about this. I didn't wear this in the vlog earlier. However, you will have seen me wearing this in Vic's vlog. This little robe. Not just the sleeve that I'm pointing out. The whole robe. This I wore off an Instagram ad. And I feel a bit weird about doing that. Because you don't really know much about the companies. What the vibe is. It's called like Maison Robes. Or something like that. It came up and I was just like. Damn that is so cute. And I was like. I'm just gonna see. If it's a scam, it's a scam. Like whatever. Anyway. It took. I would say the best part of three weeks to arrive. It's so cute though. So cute. I feel like it was quite expensive. But I love a yellow. I really love a yellow. And I love pink. And this is just my perfect ratio of yellow to pink. Quite frankly. And then I have also picked up some new bags for autumn. I actually got red. Which might seem like a robe choice for autumn. However, I've already worn it so much. And I think I will just continue to. I feel like this is something really chic. Just like a little pop of red. And I also picked it up in brown. Which now I'm questioning why I did that. Because I do have a thing about like not buying multiples. However. No, I don't actually regret that at all. Because it all looks so nice with that cardigan. The brown is chic. These are a fraction. Let me tell you of the dragon diffusion bag prices. This is £88. And they also do a larger one. Which I'm really contemplating. Because it would make a really nice mum bag. However, I do own too many totes. So maybe I don't need that. I feel like we're kind of growing out of Delilah needing a million things now. But will we go back into a phase of her needing. Like when she wants to bring actual like whole dolls with her places. And stuff like that. Am I going to need bigger bags? Maybe. Finally we have some new shoes. I picked up some little flats for autumn. From my favourite shoe brand. If you have not seen me bang on about this shoe brand. Where have you been quite frankly? I feel like this is going to be so boring to so many people. Now I can't say it without needing to say it in the Wolf of Wall Street. Steve Madden voice. I actually do really love their shoes. They're very dupey. Which I would normally have negative feelings around. However, I'm actually not in a situation where I can be too choosy. Shoe number one. Some of you are going to have some feelings about. And I understand that. However, I do think the tabby flats are so sick. I imagine a pair of capris. These cute laptop. A vibe. I've also got some loafers. And now I'm wondering if I'm going to regret this. But I think they're really cool. I used to have a pair of leopard print loafers when I was like 18. And I wore them every day. And I actually felt like they went with everything. They were a lot softer than this. These are damn. Because they do a much softer looking one. But it says Steve Madden in gold on the bridge. And I didn't like that. So I thought I'll get the loafer. But now I'm a bit scared that they're going to be a bit too like tough. But I do think like they'll look so cool with so many things. I love leopard print. But like too much leopard print does not look good on me. So I actually thought just like a little. A dash here and there. And then we also have a new vlogging camera to try out this week. Because I need an out the house on the go vlogging camera. I am now on my last G7X. We are now on a G7X Mark III. Which I've always used the Mark IIs. And had so many stashed away. And Delilah broke my last working one. I went back to using a different one. And Amelia was like by the way your camera's making the clicking sound in your vlogs. And I was like ugh. So I picked up the Osmo Pocket 4P. This is a new one. It has a light on the top. I'm gonna see how we go. So when I'm on the go now I will be using this. But if you could all let me know what you think of the footage for the next vlog. That would be amazing. Anyway I will be back with you shortly. I need to continue with my video. And we will reconvene. Later this afternoon. Oh I also by the way I started doing like a mini clear out slash like tidy up slash organise in the wardrobe room. So it's now a crazy mess again. Because I then got busy halfway through doing it. So now it's just stuck that halfway through a clear out. And I was like also mid unpacking. It's bad. Hello. She's going to a new home. I feel really sad about this. But I've done enough. And I really hope the girl that has bought her enjoys her. I think she's bought a few bits of mine before I recognised the name. I just never wear her. It's time. Oh it is lustry out in the world. Oh my god you know when someone's parking and you're in your car and you're like are they gonna hit my car? Oh the baby hairs. Victoria if you're watching this I really hope you know what you're getting yourself in for with this move to the seaside. The wind. It's no joke. Say goodbye to lip gloss. Parcels have been posted. Today was meant to be a much more interesting day. I can't lie. I was meant to go and see Amelia today. And we were going to have matcha together. And our schedules are just like horrendous. So that's been cancelled. Which means that my day of fun in this vlog. This vlog was going to be like just days of fun. And now I feel like we've got Ariana Grande and then we've got post office runs. And it's just like ah. Back to reality. Anyway yeah I'm going to go to the gym. I have actually been most days this weekend quite proud of myself. Now it gets to the point where it's like almost I'm like is it okay to take a rest day? Maybe it'll be tomorrow and I'll go do something fun with Delilah tomorrow. And we can all do something fun together. Oh I did also sort my outfits. I've ordered multiple outfits for the NTAs. So if you can all just like my pics. When you see them. To make this worthwhile that'd be great. Because I probably could have hired a stylist for the amount I've just spent on outfits. Ryan's not home so I can vlog in bed. This is one rule. It's one boundary. Having a wife that is a vlogger is no vlogging whilst we're in bed. And I respect that boundary. But when he's not here. This is my favourite place to vlog. If I had it my way I would do a lot of videos sat in my bed if that wasn't so weird. Anyway what the hell kind of plot twist of mother nature is the I prefer dad development stage. Because my daughter just crawled down the hall screaming like I was a complete stranger. When she realised Ryan was leaving the house. Granted we have switched routines this week. So maybe it's that. Normally he would do the mornings and I would do the afternoons. And have her right through until bed. Whereas at the moment I've been doing the mornings. Ryan's been doing the afternoons. And then I kind of have to take over bedtime. Especially on the nights that he's not here. So maybe that's not helping the shopping and changing. Because I do think she struggles with going back and forth between people. She does prefer just to be with one person like the whole day. And Ryan doesn't really have that. Because when I don't go out in the evenings. But when I am out in the evenings. Chances are I'm in London. I'm out. So I'm not coming home. So she's consistently with him and she's chill. This has been like the most she's had to shop and change for a really really long time. I think since she was like a baby. Maybe it's that. Maybe it's just the fact that Ryan's been out more. So he's now like the novelty parent. I don't know. But she is just like obsessed with dad. I literally got cut open so that she could come into the world happy and healthy. And I know that you do that with not expecting anything back. But at the same time it's so savage because I love her so much. And I'm like I just want you to love me. So yeah I had a little cry. Can't lie. But we've showered. We're moving on. Tomorrow's a brand new day. I'm gonna bribe her with soft play to love me. A star parenting. Anyway I had a good gym session. I saw our PT Lewis. He's our friend. But he also PTs us in the gym. He bullied me into using the machines. So cheers for that babes. I did start Rev Rising which is our accidental book club pick of the month. We went to read Lost Lambs which ah this book is so good. And annoyingly they haven't numbered the chapters. So in these book clubby type of apps there's no chapter sections. So like just a bit of a not very community driven read for the month. And it just felt really wrong because I'm so used to being able to like the whole thing I love about book club and using Fable as the app is like you have each of the chapters and all of your comments on that chapter are hidden so that no one sees any spoilers. Like some people are like let's still try. I don't I was like I'm gonna make a judgment call. I don't think this is gonna be that exciting. Like I love seeing all the chapters split out and like it's so cute. So I'll show you what I mean if you don't know. Rev Rising has been really highly voted for consecutively for like two months in a row now. And it's only lost by like one percent every time. So I was like you know what there's clearly a lot of people that want to read Rev Rising. So we're going to read it. This is what I mean like all of the chapters are there and I really like that. And you can like go in and like comments are there and it's so cute. So yeah I think I think I made the right call. But I'm sad because I feel like a lot of people now will be committed to Lost Lambs for the month. They bought the book. They want to read it. So like just sad because they're probably not everyone's probably going to switch over to Rev Rising. Normally there's like quite a lot of people that read each book every month. So I think there'll be a few less this month which is really sad. But I am still happy that those people are going to persevere with Lost Lambs because I have actually just finished it. I was very ahead on this read. So good. A little bit like yesteryear but also not. Not the same setup at all but like about a dysfunctional family. It's kind of giving a really dysfunctional version of like Gilmore Girls. It's like Gilmore Girls to me in the sense that like there isn't a big like crisis. There is it like there's stuff that stuff happens but like there's not this big you know like when you read fantasy and there's this big like the climax where it's all like oh my god what is happening. Like there's not really a moment like that. Like you're constantly like oh my god I want to find out what's going on next. But like it's kind of you're invested and it's such a good read. But there's it's not like I don't know maybe some people will disagree with me but I thought it was such a good book. I love the way that it's written. Dialogue is so good. Like the conversation between the back and forth between people is so well written. So funny. Like really I found this really fun. Like I maybe it's not meant to be but I feel like this is hysterical and I could just see it being made into like a movie or a tv show or something. So like I really really enjoyed it. Could not recommend it more. I'd probably recommend it to like most people who are into their reading. I just A star. A star. Actually one of my favourite books I've read this year. Yesteryear I think it's also up there. Now I've reread it I'm like yeah this was one of my favourite books of the year. But yeah like I said I've started revising which I also have the physical copy of. I got this in a Waterstones blind book blind date with a book thing. They like wrap up loads of their books and they just kind of write the the tropes or like bits about it on the front and you pick a book and take it to the till and like they can see what it is when they scan it but you have no idea. And the girl actually said when I bought it and she scanned it she was like oh this is a good book. Like this is a really good book and I was like oh I'm excited. And then I opened it up and I was like oh I don't normally, this is gonna sound really strange, I don't normally read books written by men. Like really only The Silent Patient, Game of Thrones. And I think Game of Thrones made me want to stop reading books that were written by men because I just feel like the outcomes for all of the women were so bleak and when you read books that are written by women the outcomes aren't bleak and depressing. And so like yeah I haven't read books written by a man in a long time. But I'm on chapter two I think it is. The chapters aren't like super short in this they're like they're a decent length. So I'm on chapter two and I'm really really enjoying it so far. I'm ready. I'm I've literally like got home, done bedtime routine, showered, skincare and I'm like just I'm sat. I'm ready. I'm excited. It's basically like imagine District 13 from Hunger Games on Mars. That's yeah that's that's what we're dealing with and I'm really enjoying it so far. Can't wait to get stuck into that. So that is my that's the book club read for the month if you want to come join. Already would really recommend I think it's going to be amazing and I've only heard good things so I trust the way I feel is how I'm going to continue to feel. Do I have any other reads to recommend? Oh I finished Daggermouth. I don't know if I liked it which feels so crazy to say because it should be right up my street again it's giving panem. There were some things that were so off. By the end I was like yeah okay I'm ready and like I feel like the ending was predictable in some ways but like good. I know I will read the next one but it definitely wasn't one of my favourite books of the year like I would give it like a five six stars out of ten or like three stars out of five. Sometimes like things would be said and I'd be like going back being like sorry what have they have they referenced this? Like I don't know there were some things that just like things didn't add up like the first half I feel like the second half of the book like you get 50% of the way through and the pace picks up and like it all starts making a bit more sense but the first part of the book I just felt like there were so many like weird little holes and also like the conversation was just so nothingy and it almost felt like a book had been written and it wasn't long enough and like the first half needed to be like flushed out more but it was just flushed out and really like I mean not half arsed because I feel like that's rude to say but like just flushed out maybe a bit too much like the author had been pushed to fill it too much and actually it didn't need that or maybe it was more the dialogue that just needed something a little bit more because I just felt like it wasn't really giving so yeah didn't love. Anyway I'm gonna go and finish this and hopefully we will have a nice fun day tomorrow and Delilah will prefer her mother. Good afternoon I am back from the gym and I was about to get through a mammoth load of admin that I have to do. This week has been a lot next week I think is going to be worse however a package arrived literally as I was getting sat down and I was like you know what let's just take a brief hiatus to unpack this because I feel like those of you that like a practical haul from me or those of you that like I think if you just spend time outdoors quite frankly the mums are gonna love this even Victoria could enjoy this if you're moving to Cornwall you probably need one of these. Anyway did an order from three people of some rain jackets a sentence that I honestly never thought I'd say because like even when I've walked in the rain like I've always been like I don't need a rain jacket like it's fine whatever however normally obviously if it's like tipping it down with rain I would just choose not to go outside pre-baby I work from home I'm very very blessed I can choose whether I go out in the rain or not so I've never really needed anything fully waterproof however I am now at the stage where I am actually going to be forced to go outside at certain times of the day against my will because someone needs to be dropped to school so it's actually time now I've reached that stage where it's no longer an option to just get absolutely drenched I went for the black very cheap this this is amazing quality by far and this should be waterproof if this isn't waterproof I will be raging for the money this should be the most waterproof thing on earth I also got like I was like you know classic yellow raincoat now I'm I'm second guessing myself I love yellow I actually I really love the yellow I feel like yellow is one of my colors but in a raincoat maybe not we need to we need to try no maybe I just look like a highlighter did not think this through there is a cozy lining to this not fleecy but there's something there's a little something going on the black I can get on board with oh my god I don't know how I feel about this I just don't think there's a way to make rain jackets look chic if there is someone please let me know because as a five foot two woman like I feel swamped so this is the black it's like a half zip the yellow I believe is a full zip up zip down these weren't cheap so if you hate the yellow just say it's actually no biggie I'd be pleased to not be keeping both quite frankly I actually thought the black was the one I was gonna like that we could pretend that I have I just make good stylistic choices all the time but it's funnier to not I kind of love it because it's giving like I'm a teaspoon of joy in this miserable world but I'm gonna leave the yellow to Delilah so you can have a yellow raincoat I can speak on behalf of all of us when I say I'll keep the black this is my obvious cardi so nice so snuggly basically works like a little light coat in the winter which is so nice anyway I've got to go because it is 3 p.m now and I have so much to do I'll see you guys again in my next vlog hopefully it won't be too long away because like I said I'm very busy over the next three weeks so fingers crossed for a good amount of vlogs love you bye