My Husband Ruined Our Finances Behind my Back

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. I owed 27k on my car and it was giving us a lot of trouble. I've been working the plan since the beginning of the year and because it was in my husband's name, he went to trade it in for what was supposed to be a cheaper vehicle and instead he came back with one that was 50k negative equity, $90 a week in gas just to get me to work him back. So I went back to the dealership to see about trading it in for something less or giving it back. I was disgusted and they told me, well you can give us 20,000 and we'll take it back or you can trade it in for something that is more fuel efficient and I just want to get out of this situation that my husband put me in. What's your husband saying about this? What was his reaction when you probably flipped out? Well, when I went back to the dealership and they told me exactly how much it was, his response was, I didn't know. They had just told him what the monthly note was going to be. So I'm not sure if we need to trade the husband or the car? Both would be nice. She's like, I'm not so tired of this. Holly, how long have y'all been married? Oh, a very long time, almost 20 years. Usually I'm the one that takes care of all of the finances, but it's been a long time and we've grown, we've supposedly matured and I trusted him to go in with, okay, I have work, take it in, trade it in, get something cheaper that we can pay off. And he comes back. Well, I will say, not that this is an excuse for him by any means, he's a grown man and he should have known what he was paying for at the end, but car dealers are notorious for figuring out that monthly payment and then they add on this and this and this, and you really don't know when you walk out. But when he signed the papers, he should have seen and known and asked for it. So it's not an excuse. I just know if you're not, if you don't care, it's almost like if you're not engaged at all in the purchase, that can just happen, right? But that's what frustrates me about it is like, you weren't engaged in the process at all. Like you, you did completely the opposite of everything we talked about. So that's the issue, um, that I see any, any real negative equity into it. So how much have you sold this car? They said she's 20,000 upside down, the idiots that sold it to her. I know, but I wonder if you Kelly Blue booked it for a sale of an individual, a sale, what it would come up as. So, um, let me, let me tell you that your finances are not, your finances are not going to get better. If you keep handling them the way you are, where this guy is loose out there running around doing whatever, because you sent him over to the car dealer. When you take your vehicle to the shop, you want to know it will get fixed, right? Christian brothers, automotives, digital vehicle inspections give you confidence because you see exactly what their technicians see. And every repair is backed by their nice difference warranty three years or 36,000 miles schedule your service today and get 10% off your visit at cbac.com slash Ramsey, or click the link in the description, 10% off up to a $250 value. See store for details. And you thought he could handle it. The two of you need to sit down, look at numbers. And when the item is over $1,000, you need to wait overnight, talk about it. And the two of you pray about it and look at the numbers, slow your butt down. And both of you be involved. And the two of you need to be looking at your monthly budget. And the two of you need to be leaning into getting this cleaned up. All of your verbiage has been, I'm the only adult in this conversation. And I'm dragging this little boy along with me. That's your verbiage. And that's what it feels like. Yeah. And that's got to stop because you're not going to win financially doing that. All of our data points of all the millionaires we've studied, all the people that are successful in their marriage, all the people that are successful with their money are teams. They work together, they respect each other and they make deals with each other and they keep their word and they don't cop out with incompetence or direct conflict against the goals that we have agreed to. But you guys are not on the same page. And so boy child is going to have to man up and you're going to have to get used to other people speaking into this other than just you, the two of you together got to look at this and go, this is a freaking mess. And together, we're going to clean this freaking mess up. And then if you take that set of principles and apply them to this mess, then it's going to sound like, well, let's look at 14 different ways. We can get rid of this stupid butt car because we got screwed. You let it happen. Both of you, you by sending him over there, him by being asleep at the wheel in a coma and a car dealer's finance office, which is a good place to get screwed. And, and, you know, both of you together watch this happen. And then the car dealer just that, you know, if you ask an alligator, if it's hungry, it's going to say, yeah. And so guess what? That's what they're going to do. So that that's, you know, now you've got to figure out how to get out. How am I going to get out of this? The two of you got to sit down and go, okay, we're going to go to 14 dealers. We're going to get this car sold. And, uh, we're going to get a freaking hoopty, a $2,000 car, and we're going to roll up our sleeves. Everybody's taking extra jobs. We're not going to see the inside of a restaurant unless we're working there. We're not going on vacation. All that money you piled over there by your fishing boat's going to go to clean this dad gum mess up, whatever it is, you got to scrape all this money in the middle of the table, clean out the nickels out of the corner of the couch and get the mess cleaned up as a team. But until you team up, you're not going to win. You're not, it's going to happen over and over because it sabotages the progress that you make. That's why one person, people ask us all the time, how can I do this without a, with my, my spouse's approval or involvement? You can't. Yeah. Yeah. That's where it is. And so I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You guys are in the middle of this mess, but that's your answer on how to fix it. Fix this relational dysfunction. And that'll fix the overall thing. Cause resentment's going to start to build if it hasn't already Maria. So honestly, like that's, um, for him to come to the table and have a seat at the table and actually have an opinion and you listening to it, responsibility and responsibility, all of it, his involvement and vice versa with you. I'm like, that's, that's part of it, but I'd be pissed too. So I think that part of it's true. I'll go with you on that. Dave is in Fort Lauderdale. Hey Dave, what's up? How are you doing? Um, I've got an issue with, with the bank. I went to, uh, apply for a cash out mortgage because I had a, um, my head surgery and I wanted to, uh, pay that off. And, uh, do you not have insurance? I have Medicare. Okay. So how much is your out of with Medicare on the surgery? It's, um, my out of pocket, uh, was about seven, $8,000. Okay. And you don't have any money. So I thought that I don't have any money, but what I, I didn't want to have to use my monthly expense because everything that I own, um, I pay for every month. I don't have a car payment. I have a car. How much money do you have? I have my assets of about $165,000. Okay. Just pay off your medical debt. You don't have that in cash though, Dave, do you? No. Okay. What do you have in cash? What's it? What's it in? Assets. I think house and car and stuff. Dave, how much, how much money do you have in the bank cash available to you? In the bank right now about, geez, the monthly expense, uh, they told me that they were get to the end of the month, about 1500 bucks. 1500 bucks. Do you have any money that you can get your hands on that's an investment or anything you can sell? Uh, no, not right now. No. And what's the 165,000 in? That's my, uh, the place that I own. The home that you own and you're paid for a car. Yeah. Okay. So you have $1,500. How old are you? Um, in my seventies. Okay. What, how old are you exactly? 77. Thank you. And how, how is your health now that you've had the surgery? Good. I'm glad. Okay. Um, and what is your monthly income? It's about $2600. Okay. All right. The first thing I'm going to do is go revisit that inventory and see if there's anything other than the house and the car that I can sell to pay this debt down. The second thing I'm going to do is I'm going to call the, uh, medical people and say, I'm going to be money. This is a Medicare deal. I don't have any cash. What kind of a deal can you offer me on this? And see if you can get a discount. And if you can, I'd scrape together the money at barely out of your monthly, which your monthly is really tight. I agree with that. Um, but I do my best not to borrow on the cash out. I don't want you to go back in debt at 77. You finally got out, create your free, every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.