Izzy Hammond roasts James May's pub!

How dare you? I don't like them. They are also three quite old blokes. I just don't know if I'd be interested. Do you know what I think it'll be? His retirement. Jeremy Clarkson is about to open a pub. James May already has a pub, but is it any good? And what can Jeremy learn from James? Starting by reviewing Diddly Squat for breakfast, we'll be road tripping to the Royal Oak, James May's pub, four years after opening to see if it's still top notch or if it's dropped the ball. We'll be reviewing the establishments for food, service, value and for us petrolheads, how good the cars are in the car park. Whether they're good or they're bad, we're going to come up with a list of do's and don'ts for Jeremy and Lisa's new establishment. Breakfast? Breakfast. Driving from our Airbnb, we plugged Diddly Squat into the sat-nav to hunt down a bacon butty. We've turned up at Diddly Squat. It has been open ten minutes and the queues are insane. It's so...busy. We don't have time to muck about with that, I'm afraid, so we're going to have to head. I did not realise it would be that insane ten minutes after opening. The bacon butties must be five out of five stars considering the size of that queue. Ten minutes and it was through into the fields. Yeah, and the fields were a literal swamp and I don't fancy getting this stuck in front of lots of Grand Tour fans. That's very embarrassing. We turned up in that Evo a few weeks ago to chat to Lisa and literally everyone was shouting, James May, James May, James May! And then they see it's some bald Scottish bloke that they may be seeing on the internet. After a disappointing first stop, we were determined to make the most of James May's pub. We rang ahead to get our table booked in and the sat-nav was reading two and a half hours, so it was time to get the food down. Now, you all know our drivetribe Evo, but some of you might be wondering what I'm driving today. I should probably introduce the car I'm in. This is my latest purchase. It's an MG ZS 180. The fast one. The one they took two in car racing. This one is especially rare. It's in a sparkly white. You MG Rover nerds out there would call it Monogram Glacier. Now, there were only five MG ZS 180s painted in Monogram Glacier. Two of them went abroad, so who knows what's happened to them. One of them was written off in a crash and the other one is currently up in Scotland and is very rusty and is off the road. So, as far as I am aware, this is the only Monogram Glacier MG ZS 180 on the road in the world. That's kind of cool. While I was happily eating up the miles in my ZS, the drivetribe Evo was just starting to make an impression on Izzy. I've come to the conclusion that I quite like this car. It's actually quite pleasant to drive as she crashes into a hedge. Someone say turbo? Okay, I've somehow turned the windscreen wipers on and I don't know how to turn them off. S***. Oh my God. No, stop. And this car fits right into my small collection I've got going. I've got my Mondeo ST, transverse V6 front-wheel drive touring car connections. This, transverse V6 front-wheel drive touring car connections. And then my Rover 620 Ti as well. So they're all the top specs of what are incredibly mundane cars. You could say that I simply own a Ford Mondeo, a Rover 600 and a Rover 45. But those of you that know, know these are quite special. I can tell I'm flicking a whole load of farmyard detritus at the Evo right now. But thankfully it's protected thanks to our sponsors, PressOn Automotive. Maxwell headed up there the other week to get our Evo protected. I've PPF'd our Evo using one of PressOn Automotive's self-installation kits showing that you can PPF your own car yourself. Let me show you how I did it. Every PressOn Automotive PPF kit comes with a free application kit which includes PPF Tack, PPF Slip, a clay bar, a squeegee, some lovely bottles and a microfibre cloth. That is everything you need to PPF your car from the comfort of your own driveway. With the PressOn team giving me a helping hand, we prepped the paintwork ready for application. It was then time to fit the first panel. It is extremely forgiving stuff. Don't be afraid to put pressure on. The more pressure, the better. There you go, you don't even have to explain it. It's definitely a bit mistake-proof because you can get it a bit wrong. Quite a lot of people think it's quite daunting to be able to do it, but once you start getting there with it, it's a lot easier than you think. This will be done in no time at all. There isn't currently a PPF kit for the Evo 8, so these guys actually created a bespoke template on the day for this specific car, which is pretty impressive. I was surprised how easily this PPF kit went on. With some patience and a bit of time, I was able to fully protect the Evo's front end and give a professional finish. So our Evo is finally PPF'd and a big massive shout-out to the guys from PressOn Automotive for showing me the ropes and giving me a hand with doing it. I definitely think I can do this on my own next time around. And if you run into any trouble, they are just on the end of the phone, with great support. Also, there's online support on how to apply your own PPF if you need to do it yourself. Now, I've heard that Richard Hammond is actually quite interested in having this car, so at least it's all PPF'd now for anything that Richard can throw at it, which is knowing him probably quite a lot. Now, back to the road trip. Now, I said this is the most expensive car I have personally ever bought, and that is the case by 300%. Because I bought the Mondeo for £900, I bought my 620 Ti for £1,500. This used to be a £1,500 car, maybe even less. People would scrap these like that. Same old story, time and time again. I bought this car for £4,500. Now, that seems a lot to me. It was quite painful for that transaction to happen. But still, I think they're only going one way. Mark my words, give it a few years, these will be up £7,000, £8,000. Before long, they'll be five-figure cars. I know Mike is currently talking about his engine, because he keeps slowing up and then pew, and making it make the noises. What do you think of my new car? My little white thing up here. I was actually just talking about your new car. It's a classic you purchased, buying something that no one else likes. But do you like it? That's all that really matters. How do you know no one else likes it? Have you been on Rover forums, or has someone given you the details on this car? I just know, just one look at it, I know that that's not got many fans. How dare you? This is a car with a big wing on the back, like the one you're in, with a manual gearbox, like the one you're in, in a cool colour, like the one you are in. What's the difference? Mine's more speedy and looks better. Yours looks like, from the back, yours just looks like a granny's car, and someone's just stuck a wing on the back of it. I'm sorry, you are taking the piss. Someone has told you what to say. As one of the cameramen absolutely dumped me in it, do not tell me that came naturally. I swear on my life, that's what I've been thinking. No, I have not been told to say that. Absolute bullshit. Okay, I've got my swearing out of the way to the camera, I decided not to film the video there. How's the Evo? It looks lovely back there. I really like this car. The more I'm driving it, the more I like it. It's surprisingly smooth to drive, especially compared to Martin the Subaru, which is awful. This one feels lighter, the steering's really nice. I'm absolutely addicted to the sound of the turbo, and making it go... I love that. She's becoming a petrolhead. I just don't know why you like these things, Mike. You're weird, you're wired up wrong. The way I think of it is someone on the internet has to be into MG Rovers, so why not make it me? It's the same reason people are like, how did you get your job? It's so cool that you're representing on Drivetribe. And I'm like, well, someone's got to do it, so why not make it you? It's the exact same thing. I do love going in convoy, though. It is fun, isn't it? I feel like I'm getting a little bit of a taste of what Rich did for a living, does for a living. But the way I look at the ZS180, I see it as the cut price in Prizza or Evo back in the day. The guys that simply couldn't afford that rare Japanese thing buying me could go and get one of these. It had the aesthetic, it's got all the body kit, it's got the wings, it's got as cool an engine as MG could put into it. I really like it. It's humble performance. With regards to Jeremy, who was he to you when you were growing up? Was he just like a pal of your dad's or was it more than that? Are you trying to say they were in love? I'm not. I'm just wondering whether he was fully round for dinner or whether it stayed very much a working relationship. What was the chat there? Was it Uncle Jeremy or was it just Jeremy off the telly? No, I think because when they started, all three of them together, I was a baby. I was like one. So I've obviously grown up with him. But I guess it's like anything. If your dad works with people closely, obviously the family gets to know them. Jeremy has kids and we used to see the kids quite a bit. Just like any normal working dad really. But yeah, I've known him a very long time. And he has come to ours a couple of times but he famously doesn't actually fit in our kitchen because he's too tall. I know you met up with Jeremy and Lisa at the Formula One. I don't suppose they gave you any intel on this new pub? No, we weren't talking pubs if I'm honest. We were more talking cars and booze. No, they didn't say anything. I think they want to keep it close to their chest for now, which is fair. Just double check that the handbrake's off on that thing. Yeah, that was the first thing I thought of when I got into it. Make sure the handbrake is off because I do that in every single car I'm in. What you haven't remembered though. Yeah, those are quite expensive brakes from EBC you've got on that thing. So let's not pry them. But no, it sounds like you've got it under control. And here we are. The Royal Oak Swallow Cliff. We're here. We are here. Is that a wall's voice? Ooh. I see a Rolls, I see a Bentley. After arriving just in time for our booking, we said hello to the legendary landlord Chris and were then shown to our table. Hi guys, do you have an idea on food? I think so, I think we're good. Yeah, can I go for the Cornish Cod please? Thank you. We're going to go double fish. Can I have the fish and chips please, the haddock? Perfect. It's Friday. Fish and chips Friday. Perfect. Okay Izzy, this is a serious review. Oh, of the pub? So out of five, we're marking it out. So food, service, value, and then the cars in the car park. We'll get to those in a sec. But you used to work in a pub, didn't you? Ooh, good knowledge from you. I want to say it was called the Silly Cow? Moody Cow. Damn it. Well, I've actually worked at several. I was very courageous. Right, so you're very experienced. So in terms of grading, the Royal Oak, you are very well qualified. I actually think I am, yeah. So what are you going to look for in the food, in the service? Friendly service, but not over-friendly. I don't want to feel like I'm sat with them having my lunch. You know what I mean? So far, service has been 10 out of 10, I've got to say. Not even 5 out of 5, 10 out of 10. So too much is like TGI Fridays. Yeah. Hey guys, I'm so-and-so, I'll be your server today. Yeah, I find that a little bit intense. Seating area, lovely. There's a fantastic beer garden. It is chill here, isn't it? Yeah. What we were saying is we walked in tranquil vibes. Really tranquil. Compared to Diddley this morning. Yeah, chaos. I'm loving this, to be honest. Really nice and relaxed. I also saw they do a quiz night. Are you a pop quiz person? I... Right, what's your special subject? General knowledge. General... Yeah. Who says their special subject is general knowledge? Because I don't have anything in specific. Like some people like sport, whatever, everything. So you just know facts. I just know really weird facts. Marks out of five for the Cars and the Cars fact. Ooh, yeah. We come straight in. There's a Rolls Royce and a Bentley. Yeah. I'm going to say something now. Oh. Not a fan. They are, I mean, they're ostentatious. They're out there. Yeah. But then again, I mean, it is the day for it. Don't get me wrong. It's also how cool they are. And I mean, that's a 300 grand Rolls Royce. Yeah, okay, it's cool. Okay. Blanket, it's cool. Not for me. But now they've got an Evo sat outside. And an MG. And whatever yours is. So they've gone up to go straight down again. But mine's yellow, so that's cool in itself. So James sadly isn't here today, but you have been creating some content with him. You've done a couple of podcasts now. Rather than just turn it off, which is what a reasonable person would do, I just picked it up and threw it over the side. And it's... Yes, we have had James on the podcast. With us. And with the CEO of Hornby. Yeah. So cool. Really cool, talking all things hobbies. Because James is like the godfather of weird bloke hobbies. I know that's mean, but... Well, this is it. Like, can you call it a weird bloke hobby? Or is it just... Well, this is kind of what we talk about in the episode. Is it weird? Or is it... Why do we call it weird? And actually, it's quite a wholesome thing to do. And why do blokes do it more than girls? Have you ever been drinking with any of the three guys? Obviously Richard. Obviously Richard, yeah. Well, no, because I was sort of always quite young when they were doing the bulk of their filming together. So, I mean, I wouldn't be allowed. So you missed out on the glory days then? I kind of did, yeah. But also I think, you know, what happened on the trips stayed on the trips. Do you know what I mean? And I feel like they had their time together and I wouldn't want to infringe on that. They are also three quite old blokes. So I just don't know if I'd be interested. Well, there's a bit of a thing going on now. James has got a pub. Jeremy's building a pub. Is there going to be a Hammond family pub? Well, Rich has always been interested in having a pub. Always. But obviously he has the workshop. He has Drive Tribe. He's kind of busy. But I think... Do you know what I think it'll be? His retirement. Interesting. Because he's that bit younger than the older two. There's a lot of them around your area as well. Yeah, there are. But he's that little bit younger than Jeremy and James. So I think he's still wanting to have that really fast-paced life, doing a little bit of everything. But when he gets their age, I think that's when he'll say, right, I've had enough of everything. I'm going to have a pub and just drink in my own beer garden all afternoon. Fair enough. Oh. Here comes me. I can see food. That looks tremendous. Oh, wow. That looks amazing. Thank you. Perfect. Thank you. Thank you very much. I think I'm good. OK. Thank you. Thank you so much. Wow! Very nice. Let's get back to this. Right, Izzy, time for the scores. And I don't want it to be too nicey-nice. I want some serious food pub criticism coming in here. So, straight up, the food out of five. It was very good. The thing is, whatever I say, you're just going to think I'm being too nice, but I genuinely think it was five out of five. And I'll tell you why. Because mine was like restaurant-quality food. Yeah. You had classic pub food. I did. And they were both really good. They were top-notch. So what more could you want from a pub? Exactly. So I'm more than happy to give you five out of five. Yeah, five out of five. Izzy, on to service. I'm leaning on you for this one. I thought the service was great, but you tell me otherwise. Yeah, as a fellow waitress, really good. Really good. They're just so... They're really friendly. They're really lovely. You walk in and you just feel really calm. It was a nice energy. Really nice. Really James. Relaxed. Comfortable. Easy. Okay, so that makes it... Five out of five. Another five out of five. I'm saying it now. Five out of five. Now, the next one's going to be interesting. Value. If I tell you that your cod was £28... Now, this is where it's a little bit difficult, because I'm from Herefordshire, and in Herefordshire, £28 is quite expensive, but this is the more sort of Cotswold-y vibe. The prices are a little bit higher. But when you finish your meal, that final bite of cod, did you think, £28 worth? I'd put it at 20. Maybe 22. Oh, okay. I said it. Okay, and my haddock was £18.50, which is like... I mean, that's quite... Yeah, that's fair. What are we going to say? I'll say four out of five, but it's because I'm cheapskate. Okay, and then the petrolhead won Cars in the Car Park. We've just seen, literally, a motorbike gang go into there. I mean, I would go four out of five, but it sounds like you want to be honest. If it was my choice of car in the car park, I would give that a three out of five, because I don't love them. But it's not a very big car park, and the fact that we've driven in on a Friday afternoon and seen those two cars, that's quite impressive. Four out of five? Yeah, because I can appreciate them as pretty impressive cars, but not for me. So yeah, I think four's fair. Okay, cool. That means the Royal Oak Swallowcliff, James May's pub, has got 18 out of 20. That's 90%. That is big, isn't it? It is a good pub. But I think it's fair. I think it's 100% fair. Even if I didn't know this was James' pub, I still would vote at that. It's brilliant. Okay, well, I want two negative things. One each. One bad thing about the Royal Oak. I'll go first. Car park's too small. That's going to be mine. I don't like the chairs. Ooh. Yeah, and I did notice that when I walked in. I did mention it to you quite quietly. I don't like the chairs. The look of them? The way they sat? Well, yeah, just not... I think they could be more comfortable and slightly more updated, there I said it. But then again, it's James May's pub, so he loves an old chair, doesn't he? Exactly. James, the car park needs enlargement and it needs new chairs. Yes. Okay, what can Jeremy learn from this place then? See, the thing is, I would say Jeremy and James have very different vibes. This is very James May and obviously Diddley Squat is very Jeremy. So I think if Jeremy replicates a lot of what Diddley Squat is in his pub, it's going to go really well because people love Diddley and it's so him. It's going to be hectic. It is, but again, that's what he likes. The high energy, lots of people everywhere, which is the opposite to here, which is James'. So it's up to you. It's up to the customer what they want from their experience. Okay, so really, they should stay in each other's lanes. No copying. No copying any homework. No, exactly. James does James. They should just be authentic and it works. Okay. Well, here's to a potential Hammond pub in, what, a decade's time? Yeah, maybe we should pitch something. Yeah. Yeah, when he retires. And then you can do a road trip that's like a triad between them. Yeah. Bang, bang, bang. That's so true actually. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. Dinner, yeah. Sleep in Hereford though. Yeah, well Hereford is obviously the best. Obviously. That is the best county. Do you want to go in the MG and I'll... Do it with my mum? No, absolutely not. Yeah, I'll go and get my mum. Bye. There you have it. Mae is the current motoring pub top dog. Good luck, Clarkson.